"Sweet one, I'm with you," he said, touching my cheek, gentle as a petal, letting my own twisted mind untangle itself, as he looked after me with the softest of hands.

"Life is hard," I cry, feeling warm tears on my face. "It is hard when I'm not with you," I add, pleading him to not leave me alone with my sick self.

He finds it in himself to love me even when I am nothing more than a ticking bomb, waiting to blast, wipe him of his essence.

"I am always with you, in your heart, in your soul, my one. I am in the stars you adore, the sky you have as your eyes, in the water where you are at peace. I am with you in the very fibre of your soul, sweetest baby," he placates, holding my fists in his, pressing kisses far too tender for a brutish being like me.

It coaxes warm tears to my eyes, my ears turn darker than his cherry lips, cheeks flame with love for him. He kisses my hands until my fists are free, till the heat on my face recedes to a comfortable blush.

"How am I supposed to pray when my God is you, H. How am I supposed to tell the world that I have sinned and made my own God cry. I am a devotee to you. To your kindness, to you."

His cry is softer, more mellow, more breaking. He cries with his hands holding mine, body shaking as he presses my shaking cold fingers to his eyes in a prayer. "I don't need to be God to be yours, Lou. For I am the one sinning, making you weep over me, causing pain when I leave you."

His words are too sincere, too loving. He tangles my fingers with his, resting them on his beating heart. "This is for you," he says, laying my palm flat on his chest, warm skin and lean muscle.

"I would rip myself apart to keep you happy, to stop you from hurting. I would die for you, Harry. I would do everything for you."

Harry has a angry flush on his cheeks, he pulls me close, a hand low on my nape, keeping my head up, looking at me with sparkling emeralds and red lining them. His lips seem soft as the skin on my wrist, so delicate.

"Dying is easy, live for me, my lover. Live for me, with me, beside me, here. Keep me with you, kiss me with wine stained lips, kick me with rain soaked feet, curl against me with a stolen jumper, sip my tea, spit out my smoothies, keep the cherry tint on my lips alive with yours. Keep yourself from fading, just for me," he begs, anger dimming down to desperate need.

Desperate for me to be with him, with all my messed up self, the crazy thoughts, the steep fear, he wants me to stay with all of that.

"I am a ticking bomb, I leave nothing but destruction behind. I'll tear you to pieces, leave you broken beyond repair. Break you, H. I don't want that for you," I sob, the ugly fear swaddling me in the darkness, in all the wrongs that I am capable of.

The love in his eyes doesn't dim, it glows brighter. "I'd rather wipe myself out than leave you be. I believe in you, you my dear are made of everything a man needs to be human. You're my everything. You leaving me is equal to my essence being erased. You're all I want, Lou."

And it's beautiful the way we both cry into each other, for each other, clawing at air, pressing frantic kisses to every tainted inch of our ticking selves, the fragility coming with a reckless abandon for the next minute.

Cherry lips and fragile bomb. Those are our mark.

The mark we leave behind when we're gone, when the timer in our bodies finally reaches the end. The ultimatum. Our doom in the most sweetest of ways.

Always.

---

for cris.

this is something i have had in my mind for so long, this is sad and simply human. we all get needy at times and it's beautiful to have someone give you a reason to live.

for me there a lot of people, you're one of them. I want you to know, I'm here for you.

-loubeau ilysm cherry, from me to you. sorry for the sad fic, i needed some melancholic beauty today.