tuesday, january 4, 2022.

"I'm here-" I pause, seeing a few doctors gathered around Rena. My heart drops, but when I can still see her breathing and smiling at me, I sigh with relief. Just a false alarm. They must be doing some tests on her. I set down my bag, sitting on the couch. The doctors continue what they are doing, checking the monitor for her heartbeat. It seems as if she was doing okay, and she didn't look like she was in any pain. It must've been only me who wasn't worried.

"Okay, Miss Liu. We'll be back tomorrow for more testing, okay? Don't eat anything that may hurt your pancreas, and we made sure to leave you some supplements to eat before tomorrow's check-up. Please eat them."

"Okay, thank you," She responds faintly, all the doctors greeting me briefly, then leaving. When Rena and I make eye contact, we both chuckle.

"You have a lot of fans, don't you?" I joke, getting up. Rena shakes her head slowly, struggling a bit. "Why were all the doctors here? Did you have to go into surgery again?"

"No, they wanted me to, but I denied since I'd be dying soon. Too much money to be operating on me every week," She rolls her eyes. "They've been testing me since yesterday. You had a test to study for, so you couldn't show up. It has been hectic since then since they're using me like a lab rat or something."

"Hopefully they don't poison you by accident," I shake my head, walking over. I brush back wisps of her hair, kissing the crown of her head before fixing her pillow. "They're not overwhelming you though, right? If they are, tell me. I'll go complain and ask for some solitude."

"Though I appreciate your concerns for me, it's fine. I'm doing some help for them at least," Her fingers move a bit, touching each other. "Speaking of help, it's time for the task of the week!"

I groan as a joke, but she frowns. "I'm joking."

"Great, at least you're into it!" She eyes me. I sit on the edge of her bed, sighing. "Anyway, this task is a good time to get to talk to people. I need you to go talk to my father and tell him everything. I already set an appointment up for you to visit in about four hours, so you better go take a taxi."

"Wait, why am I meeting your father?"

"Because mother doesn't update him on my recovery anymore. I think he'd prefer to hear it from you than mother that I'm weeks away from dying," Rena explains. "Oh, and give him that envelope on the coffee table over there. I had one of the passing nurses write it for me."

"Alright," I slowly nod, agreeing to my first task of the dreaded January. "Anything else you need from me while I'm out later?"

"Nope. I have, like, two questions, though," She smiles. I nod, allowing her to speak. "Do you... still believe in destiny?"

"...I do," I respond somewhat dryly, remembering what she had told me when we met in the courtyard for the first time. About the ants, about how we'd always retract. When she called me her acquaintance there, I had butterflies. She had even a piece of care for me, and I acknowledged that. I remember it all vividly. "I'm going to guess you believe in that stuff now, too?"

"Yeah," She deadpans, almost as if she hated believing in it. "I thought I never would, but I was thinking about it while they were testing me. Usually, if people see me plugged in like this, they'd freak out. You've never acknowledged it. Maybe you're just bluffing, but I think of you as my soulmate. The only person who'd never get scared of me being a machine."

"You don't scare me in any circumstance, Miss Liu."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry!"

"I still have another question," She huffs. "Remember a long time ago, you told me that you thought in broad colors because of Sunwoo. You told me she was lilac."

I was astonished that she still remembered all of that. "How do you remember that?"

"That was one of my favorite moments being with you. It's when I thought of you less as a stranger, more as a friend," She informs me of her feelings, but soon widens her eyes. "You're putting me off-track! Anyway, what color am I, or was I?"

I hesitate. Rena sees it in my face that I do, so she inhales. "Forget about it, actually. Maybe you forgot all the spectrums-"

"Deep red. Mahogany? Maybe," I deadpan, putting my head into it. "It means strong, rich in origin. However, to me, Mahogany reminds me of the tree. You, too, remind me of a tree. You're always rooted to the ground, usually firm in your beliefs. Trees grow a lot from their original origins and often help others breathe. Just like you."

We meet eyes. "Mahogany is a color that represents endurance. I think you're exactly what mahogany is."

She's taken aback. I like that the most about her expression. You rarely see her surprised about something. As Chenhan describes, she is a know-it-all. Seeing this dazed expression on her face allows me to get the upper hand. I grab the envelope off the coffee table, chuckling as she continues to stare. "What? Has nobody complimented you before? I clearly remember the days where I called you the most gorgeous girl in my vicinity."

"Shut up," Rena blushes as she stammers, turning her eyes away. "Get out! You're horrible for doing this to me."

I chuckle. "Don't die on me, sweetheart."

She widens her eyes at my pet name for her, becoming more flustered.

"Just leave!"

"Mr. Liu, you have a visitor," We sit in the visitation area and Rena's father exits the cell hallway. He sees me without his daughter, and I believe for a second, he thinks the worst. I only have an hour to talk to him about everything, so where do I start?

"Hi, Jungwon," He greets me, both of us bowing. "How's Rena? Ever since her mother doesn't come to visit me anymore, I can't say I know how my daughter's been."

"She's... fine, I presume," I try to be as honest as I can. I didn't want her father to worry about her too much. "She recently got into an accident, but she's still alive. The only side effect is that she is no longer allowed to leave her hospital room."

"...Oh," He weakly responds, looking down at his clasped hands. "As long as she's alive, right? Hah..."

"She wanted me to give this to you. I didn't want to wait too long to give this to you, so..." I trail off with trembling eyes, handing him the envelope. He takes it and leaves it to the side. "I hope you're okay. I know we haven't had a proper conversation before, and I was glad to have the opportunity to talk to you."

"You know you can come any time, even after... that, may happen," Mr. Liu clears his throat, nodding. "Since the day you both visited me, I wondered about you, Jungwon. How did you and my daughter come together? She's never been so open as she is to you."

"We had a very rough start. I don't want to put in too many details because I'm afraid you might revoke your approval to date your daughter," I laugh awkwardly. Mr. Liu snickers, shaking his head. "I came to like her after finding all of her good qualities. Her conditions never irked me, not like she thought it would. Though most of her symptoms would become hardships in a relationship, I found it to be good for both of us. It gave us both a sense of companionship and a job in our relationship. I... loved being with her, and I still do."

"It's nice to hear someone talk about one of my daughters this way. Chenhan also doesn't open up. However, she visited me the day of Christmas. She talked about how much you love Rena. I think it's nice for someone to take care of her besides that busy female," We both chuckle. "What about your parents? Do they know you're dating someone?"

"My parents don't involve in my affairs anymore, not since middle school," I press my lips together. "We're very distant due to some older altercations, so I don't talk about them as much. All I can tell you is that I was considered a disgrace. I had this expectation I lived up to, and if it ever degraded, stuff would happen. I'm glad I'm still around, though. I'd prefer if you were my dad."

"I'm always your father-in-law. Of course, if you were to marry my daughter. Please don't. You're still young."

"I won't. I never thought about it," I shake my head. "You love your daughters a lot. I can see how much you care about them."

"Truly, I do. Though I don't often show it to Chenhan, she knows that my adoration for her is deeper than the ocean. Rena's I show more often because she is neglected by her mother... and previously, by me. I wonder if I had changed up my circumstances, I'd still be able to visit her."

"It is fate. What can we do?" I smile. "I hope you know, though, your daughter cares so deeply for you. There's never a day she stops thinking about you. In the silliest conversations, she'd bring you up. Rena always talks about you."

"Oh, really?" Her father gushes, happy. "That's great to hear. At least she's still not upset with the past. She's not one to hold grudges, but I missed so much of her lifetime, I'd believe she's still mad."

"She's getting there. She's learning to accept, and move on," I nod. "Rena said she wants to be a better person. A better version of herself, I presume, especially from her fears."

"I see..." He trails off. "Well, Jungwon, thank you for informing me of my daughter's conditions. Have a safe trip back."

It was only thirty minutes, but the silence made it feel like an hour. I watch him as he walks with the guards, and I miss his presence. He holds the letter, and whatever may be unfolded in there, I hope he does not weep.

Though, I have a suspicion of what Rena talked about. Probably how much time she has left.

One week down. Three more to go.