there was never another option other than the first choice you made.

I fix my backpack, the bell ringing as I finally get to leave AP Government. Sunghoon fixes his backpack as well, clearing his throat. I look over at the raven-haired friend, his eyes deepening into mine. "Are we able to hang out today and do some government homework together? Oooh, a study date? Wait, we don't date, nor do we have the intention of dating, so-"

"Nope," I wince, trying to not give him the idea of even hanging out. "I have to go meet someone again today. I visit her all the time, and today won't be an exception."

Sunghoon grumbles, crossing his arms as we wait for everyone to leave the classroom. "Is it her?" He questions as we greet our scarlet red-haired teacher goodbye, leaving behind the crowd. "The same girl who you think is sent from the sky, from the gods, that will help you redeem yourself over her again?"

"You make it sound like I'm desperate."

Sunghoon scoffs, tired of my attitude. "When will you realize Sunwoo left without a purpose? She didn't leave you because of you, she was-"

"I know," I whisper, my hands aching suddenly as I clench my backpack straps. "I'm aware why she left. I was there when she left me. I blame myself every day for it, but Sunghoon... I want to fall in love again."

"With someone who resembles a girl you've loved in the past?" He stops, eyes keen. The people walk past us like a rumbling river, the two of us being sturdy rocks. "Jungwon, you can't just sit on your mistakes and not accept them. There's no reason to keep hurting yourself like this!"

"I choose to hurt myself, Sunghoon. Rena... she's different. I haven't realized why, but she's brighter than the spectrum I use. She's... everything I wanted, even if that means constantly comparing her to Sunwoo," I try to explain, clutching my straps harder. "I still don't know how or why she's different to Sunwoo, even if they aren't the same. However, I'll find out myself. I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Jungwon," Sunghoon hushes quietly, staring at me with hurt eyes. "You're just going to hurt yourself and Rena again, you're going to hurt her more than you've ever wanted to, and she's going to figure out she's some sick rebound because you can't accept the truth. The first mistake you made falling for her was when you mistook Rena for someone else."

And with that strong yet insulted glare, he walks away from me in a fit. He was right, however, in every way that he should be. He never was wrong until the moment he told me that I haven't accepted my mistakes.

I reassure you, every day, I beat myself up knowing that I could've preserved Sunwoo. I could've saved her.

But with every controversial choice, did another option fall- and that option was Sunwoo.

This time, when I choose a similar placement, I won't fall for any tricks. I'll save Rena.

No matter what it takes.

"Hi, sir, how can I help you today?" I look at the florist, her sparkling sky eyes staring into mine. "Looking for some flowers? If you're looking for a specific one, I can help you."

"Do you have any flowers that symbolize eternity?" I whisper, the female laughing in a swift nod. "Oh, thank god. I thought it might be embarrassing to ask this with no prior knowledge of flowers."

"It's alright, many come in here with no knowledge of flowers. You're not our first," She ushers me over to her assortment, pointing to the ones against the windowsill. "Lotus. They symbolize many things- purity, eternity, divinity... it reminds me of a strong woman. How about you?"

"It reminds of a particular woman."

"Oh?" She questions, raising an eyebrow. I easily fluster up, avoiding her devious gaze. "Let me guess- it's for her?"

"Yeah... she's been in long-term treatment at the hospital right next door, so I want to visit her and give her flowers for the first time," I shyly respond, causing the florist to giggle. "Do you think she'll like it? She probably knows flower symbolism."

"I think she'll be honored to receive such a gift, as I know I would," She picks up a bundle of them, handing them to me. "Shall we go to the register?" I nod, following after the florist like a lost puppy. I pay it, the lady handing me the bundle.

"Have a nice day, boy," She says sweetly, causing me to smile softly. I'm halfway to the door when I stop, looking down at the wrapped flowers. I blink softly, pulling one out of the bundle. I walk back, the florist meeting eyes with me. I slowly push it out towards her, the girl tilting her head. "Aw, boy, you don't have to be so sweet with me. I appreciate it."

"Though they are your flowers... I hope you enjoy the small gift as much as she may," I nod, waving. The florist waves back, a soft, carnation pink spread across her cheeks. "Bye now!"

"Bye!"

How sweet.

I continue my way into the hospital, checking into reception. They are already fond of me, letting me in happily to go see Rena. I climb up the stairs slowly, seeing Doctor Liu reading her clipboard. She already takes a sight of me, pushing up her blue-light glasses in a happy manner. "Oh, Jungwon! It's your fourteen-day streak of coming to see my little sister. Any comments?"

"What comments should I have?" I chuckle, shaking my head. "All I can say is that Rena is my favorite entertainer and favorite friend."

"I'm glad you think of her the same way she thinks of you. After all, the girl has never seen daylight with anyone," Doctor Liu says, causing me a fit of confusion. "To explain, she purposely sets herself away from each other. The last time she was friends with someone, they had left her simply because of our hectic family and also because of the fear they'd get whenever she'd be hospitalized. The person couldn't take it... and eventually left Rena with no communication."

I continue to listen, frowning. "Rena isn't the type to abandon. She gets attached easily, and she constantly works on it every day. It's mostly the withdrawal from her overprotective mother that causes her to do this. Rena is also the type to forgive and forget and learned that from her father," Doctor Liu straightens her lips, looking down. "After all, she went through years of not knowing her father is in jail. The trauma she experienced... she's still never gotten to say goodbye to him."

"What happened between them?"

"Our father wasn't... the best father," Doctor Liu explains, pushing up the bridge of her glasses. "He committed fraud, theft... just so we could live until mom got her high-paying job. At this time, Rena was hospitalized, so she was unaware that he was doing all this just for her to live."

"Finding out, she had broken out of her room deliberately and went out into the real world for once in hopes she'd find him. It was her closest time near death, especially as she was hyperventilating, crawling on the ground. At this time, it was just one leg that was paralyzed," She informs me, shaking her head. "But she accepted the ultimatum. After all, she thought that she'd have to lay on this bed forever. She might as well spend it doing her best for her parents and me."

I hesitate to say anything, clutching the bundle of lotuses. "I... hope she certainly... lives happily."

"She will, I know it," She nods, soon staring straight at me. "Now that you've entered her life."

Hearing that, a gut feeling hit me. I didn't know whether to run, to cry, to leave. I don't know what's going to hit me, but I don't want to know, either.

Before Doctor Liu could say anything else, the alarm rings. Doctor Liu and I flinch, her eyes widening. "Shoot, a code blue-"

The hospital bed flows between us and has I see someone with a mask over their face, my heart drops.

"RENA!"

The lotuses drop from my hands, my hands trembling as Doctor Liu follows her team down the hall and into the emergency room. I watch in terror, seeing her lay there as she shakes slightly.

Did I... lose my last chance?

I don't want to lose her yet.

Please, don't take her from me so soon. Please... save her.

I never got to tell her how beautiful she looked today.