Chapter 9: Human Wheatley
I kind of felt bad for him now, I didn't realize his past was so bad with them. The cores didn't seem to hate him that much. Although, now that I know his past, I realize why he likes Kevin so much, because he doesn't say anything mean to him. Well, he can't say anything mean to him sounds better. I'm still debating on whether I should call my mom Caroline or stick with GLaDOS. She started talking.
"You know, Wheatley, I've been thinking about how all of the other cores and I are human now..."
"Forget it. I'm not turning human. You may think that it's fun but I have yet to be excited for hunger. Besides, look. She just bought me this shiny new rail. It costed a lot. I don't want to make her waste her money on it by turning into a human."
"It isn't that bad. You get used to it after a day or two. Tell you what-"
"No." Wheatley interrupted. I kept myself from laughing.
"Tell you what, you become a human for as long as you'd like, but 1 day is the least. If you don't like being a human, we'll change you back. Besides, you'll even get to see your old body again."
"Yeah, we love our old bodies." Said Rick.
"Actually, those aren't real bodies. They're custom made. None of you tried to test at all, so you didn't get a special job. You were built a core and you were never human until today. The idea was to store the bodies so that any core could have access to them by plugging him or her into the device, then the central core can decide which one he can be."
"You're eyes are a little moist looking, you know..."
"Oh, right. Blinking. I keep forgetting."
She blinked twice.
"Anyways, that was the idea, we tweaked it a little and changed the whole 'Central core gets to decide' thing, seeing as I'm not a supercomputer anymore. The bots must have trouble getting to certain places now. I'm sure they'll be fine as long as they don't run into anything. On the bright side, the re-assembly machine has a break."
"When did you become human, anyways?" Asked Wheatley.
She sighed.
"Remember when you guys were trying to destroy me with the cores?"
I nodded.
"While this moron was in tomato mode, I was installing my personality into a custom made body. I designed it myself. I also designed the ones that you 3 have. Yours, I can't even remember. It's been so long. But my new human body seems... different. I just seem a lot nicer and not so obsessed with cake. A little less curious as well."
How is that even possible? There was a knock at the door.
Caroline walked up to it and answered.
"Hello?"
There was a man in blue and he had a letter in his hand.
"This is for a uhmm, a glad, or something. I'm sorry, I'm not good with names.
"Glad Johnson. That's me."
"Here's the letter, ma'm."
"Thanks." She sighed.
"Probably a bill or something..."
She opened it up and pulled out a paper.
Dear, GLaDOS,
Your pets are waiting here at Aperture, you'd better come pick them up before they starve.
Sincerely,
You know who we are.
"This is embarrassing... Everybody knows that you aren't supposed to put a comma after 'Dear.' But my birds are waiting, I should go pick them up. You guys can stay here, I'll go pick them up. Chubby Beak is probably hungry.."
"Uhm, hey! Can I come, too. I'm considering becoming human for a day or two."
I gave him a smile and we did our whole act where we pretend like when he disengages, he always says 'on one.' It was kind of our thing since the management rail.
I caught him and walked out the door.
"Oh and don't do anything you might regret!" He called to the cores who were still sitting there.
I probably should've brought the notepad, but I know Wheatley was doing a good job of understanding me well without the notes. It was sort of a test. But I don't want to say that, mostly because I have a bad past with that word.
I thought more about how he still had liked me before. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't even really like him that much, I just felt bad for him. I tried to think about how he felt in the beginning, when he first met me. There was the whole 'You've got brain damage scene' and the 'Are you still alive down there?!' I was as far as 'Fatty fatty, no parents' by the time we made it to the shed again.
"I'll head up to the lair and maybe find the bots, say hi and take back my birds. You and Wheatley can do your thing first, though."
"Why do we have to be with you when it happens?" Wheatley asked.
"You don't, I just find it interesting the way my daughter reacts to things without actually talking at all."
"Uhmm, okay."
We rode the elevator down to her lair. I thought about what she said about her human body earlier. "A little less curious." I put the pieces together, she was different without the cores. She changed because she doesn't have anything to regulate her behavior. I thought about a thought I had a little while ago with Wheatley, suggesting that she was already corrupted from the first 4 cores. I mentally face palmed myself. Why would she be corrupted? They weren't even corrupted cores.
"Are you coming, or am I going to have to watch him become human myself?"
I snapped back out of my thoughts and saw that the elevator already stopped. I quickly stepped out and walked through the lair once more. The aftermath of what had happened looked pretty bad. There were vines again and plenty of heaps of metal just lying around on the floor.
I walked into the hallway and Wheatley began speaking in a fearsome tone.
"One-one thing before we do this."
"What is it? Are you worried that it's going to hurt like last time?"
"Uhmm, the uh-they told me that if I plugged myself into any special core port device, I would die. So, uhm, just wanted to let you know." He said, quietly.
She rolled her eyes.
"Just plug him in. It will only tickle a little bit."
I did so and he was pulled into the panel, which flipped around. I was a bit worried. We heard a few drills and mechanical tools followed by his screaming. I really felt bad now.
After a moment, another panel in the wall opened and what I assumed was him came out out of the panel and fell on the ground. I took a moment to see what he looked like. He had blonde hair that spiked up a bit in the front, as well as blue eyes. His skin was very pale. He wore a lab coat with a blue shirt beneath it. He also had glasses on.
"What do you think? I modified it a bit, by the way."
"I think that I can't walk. At least I can use my voice box." He said. His voice sounded pretty much the same.
I walked up to him and reached out my hand for him to grab. He was handsome, I'll give him that. He was as clumsy as I had imagined, or is that just because he can't walk? He reached up and grabbed it. I tried to pull him up, he was a little taller than me. Actually, he was probably taller than that because I was wearing my boots at the time.
"Just put one in front of the other." Caroline suggested.
He wore gray shoes, as well. He stood up and leaned against the wall. He started feeling it with one of his hands.
"Ha! Look at this! This-this is brilliant! I can feel it!" He said, excitedly.
"How do I look?"
"You look like you're already abusing the ability to become drunk with the way you're touching that wall."
I gave him a thumbs up.
"To be honest, this feels much better than being a core! Oh, wait until they see this! Oh, wait they're already... Right."
"I'm GLaD you like the body, now I have birds to feed. And bots to find, if I can."
"Okay, you do that. I'll be here trying to practice walking with her."
She walked back into the lair. I was happy that Wheatley was still able to do some basic human things like talk. Probably because he had done it before, just not in a long time from that body.
"So one in front of the other. I'm gonna try standing in place first." He slowly let go of the wall.
After about 2 minutes, he had mastered standing in place.
"Right, now for walking. Time for Wheatley's first steps in a long time."
He let go of the wall a bit quicker than before and tried to walk across the hall, but failed at about his third step.
"Oof! Oh, okay. That... Was a lot harder than I expected."
I reached out my hand again for him to get up. He grabbed it and I pulled him up again.
"Okay, take 2."
He tried letting go of the wall a bit slower. I stood by him in case he fell. He, very slowly, stepped one foot in front of the other. I counted his steps. He made it up to 12 before falling again. I managed to catch him before he fell this time.
"Th-thanks luv."
I smiled weakly and gave him a thumbs up. Caroline walked back in.
"The bots thought it would be funny if I thought one of my birds were missing, so they hid one of them half underneath of the nest so that you can barely see it from the usual angle. I thought it would be funny if orange cried when I pushed blue into a pit of goo and pretend like the re-assembly machine is broken. She didn't agree. I wound up re-assembling blue after orange showed me the bird."
I laughed and signaled Wheatley to follow close. I stayed as close as I could to him, worried that he might fall on our way back. He actually did a very good job for the distance we walked. He only fell 3 times, thankfully, the soft wheat was there to catch him. I thought the idea of Wheatley becoming human was great.
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