glued to chanhee's side, san darts his eyes around the building for his best friend as soon as he enters it. shoulders continuously come in contact with his own, barging into his arm, and all he can do is tighten his grip on chanhee's hand even more than he already has.

the clustered main room has countless of empty alcohol bottles and soda cans scattered on the ground, waiting for someone to humiliatingly trip over them — san doesn't fancy being a victim. he notices music playing from a speaker somewhere, but the deafening volume of the chatter and cheers are all it takes to muffle the tune.

out of the blue, san feels a gentle hand tapping on his arm. bringing his attention to chanhee, he follows the older's gaze, which quickly lands on a blue-haired boy standing at one corner of the room, a drink in his hand. san immediately beams, attempting to escape from chanhee's grasp, but he's being held back.

"i trust you enough to know you won't purposely do anything stupid. but if something happens, the first thing you're going to do is text me, yes?"

san nods his head. "i will, hyung. i promise."

"good. make sure to have fun tonight, little choi." chanhee smiles, before disappearing into the large crowd of teenagers, probably heading to whoever changmin has gone off too. as if he has no time to lose, san treks through the hurdles of sweaty bodies to where yunho is standing, who is still oblivious to his best friend's arrival.

"yunho-ah!" san calls out once he's close enough for the latter to hear him due to the overly loud noise around them.

snapping his head towards whoever had just shouted his name, yunho's blank expression instantly forms into a content grin at san approaching him. however, his mouth falls into an 'o' shape when he catches a glance at the younger's appearance.

"what the actual fuck, choi san! how dare you show me up like this?!"

san chuckles, shaking his head before looking yunho up and down. "you say that as if you aren't a fashion icon yourself."

"i'm being serious, whore. you look- damn my best friend is absolutely gorgeous!" yunho exclaims, gaining strange looks from surrounding people, much to san's dismay; yet, he decides against mentioning it.

"thank you, yun."

san takes a quick peek into the plastic cup that is in the latter's hand, face scrunching up at the strong stench of alcohol that fills his senses. the blond definitely isn't the biggest fan of alcohol, it reminds him too much of his father, unlocking memories that are meant to be stored away at the very back of his mind.

"shit, i'm sorry. i know how much you don't like drinking," yunho apologises, putting the cup to the side.

san leans forward to pick up the drink and forces it back into the other's hand, speaking before he can protest, "no, trust me, its fine. do whatever you want, you deserve to have fun tonight."

"well, mingi's busy with renjun somewhere so..." yunho shrugs his shoulders, sighing; "can't really do that."

"who says getting laid is the only way to have fun?"

yunho suddenly smirks, an idea coming to mind. "you think so? dance with me, then."

"what!? why would i ever- no!" san takes a step back in adamant refusal. "do i look like i want to embarrass myself?"

"but san~" yunho whines, lips jutted out into a pout he thinks to be irresistible, while his puppy eyes work their absolute hardest into persuading the younger to agree with his proposal.

"you can try all you want, but never in a million years am i stepping foot onto that dance floor."

san averts his gaze from yunho's, just in case his adorable charms cause him to regret his decision. and when jung wooyoung miraculously enters san's vision from another corner of the room, he tries his best not to panic; instead, he thanks himself for not going with yunho's suggestion, because god would dancing in front of his crush be equal to the embarrassment of a lifetime.

as wooyoung whispers something into yeosang's ear, san's eyes unconsciously study his every feature — the way his body sways from side to side to the faint music, the way his dark blue hair bounces up and down in rhythm with his movement, the way his eyes scrunch up slightly whenever he smiles.

and san doesn't even realise that he's so obviously staring until an arm nudges his side lightly, causing him to look at his best friend with an irritated expression. "i've heard that pictures last longer, you know?"

it takes san a second to understand what yunho's implying, but when he finally realises that he was checking wooyoung like that out in the open, his eyes widen, cheeks flushing a light pink.

"shit, shit, shit- you don't think anyone noticed, do you?" san asks desperately.

"i don't think just anyone noticed, sannie. he definitely did, though." yunho wriggles his eyebrows like a weirdo, glancing at san, and then at wooyoung, for a reason the blond boy didn't really get.

rolling his eyes at yunho's words, which he automatically assumes are lies, san scoffs. "totally, because it's an everyday occurrence where he's aware that i even exist, right?"

"i'm being serious," yunho tries to get through to san, yet his hopes have been crushed much more times than he can count to believe the older for even a brief second. just to prove yunho wrong, san brings his gaze back to wooyoung, initially planning on glancing at him for only a quick second.

however, when he does, he is met with his crush's dark, alluring eyes already on him.

it looks like yunho turned out to be right after all.

their gentle gazes lock onto each other's, and even though san has never been more taken aback in his entire life, he incredulously musters up the courage to maintain eye contact with wooyoung.

but in an instant, his bravery effortlessly crashes down, because the younger boy smiles at him. wooyoung's lips quirk up, then his teeth make an appearance, and now he's grinning widely at san, who has no fucking clue on what to do. the blond's cheeks are red, bright bloody red, possible to be competing with a bowl of cherries right now.

unbelievably flustered, san looks away, an indescribable amount of thoughts swirling around in that hectic mind of his. he doesn't think he has the ability to ever recover from what just happened. over the span of a week, not once, but twice, has jung wooyoung smiled at him; how could he recover?

"you," yunho starts, generously gifting san with a smack at the back of his head. "brainless." another smack. "idiot!"

as he massages his scalp due to the sudden, unexpected attack, san groans. "what the hell was that for?!"

"do i really need to spell it out for you? you are a fucking dumbass, choi san," yunho states, causing the latter to look at him confusedly. "you just had a chance with the boy you've been obsessing over for years, and what did you do? you didn't even try."

"what are you talking about? all he did was look at—"

san doesn't have the opportunity to finish his sentence, because yunho interrupts him, "shut up, i don't want to hear it. nobody casually just stares into someone's eyes for a good fifteen seconds and smiles that hard for no reason."

"as much as i fucking hate to say it out loud, he's straight, yun. i think you're becoming more delusional than me at this point."

"am i, though? because i don't know about you, but he doesn't act so straight like you say he is whenever you're around."

"and what evidence do you have to go with that? his smile?" san questions, looking at yunho as if he's out of his mind. to be fair, he definitely seems to be; the utter nonsense that's spewing from his lips proves it. "being deprived from mingi's cock really has done things to you."

as those words leave san's lips, a set of arms coincidentally swing around his and yunho's shoulders, and the taller of the two tenses up within a millisecond. "heard my name — what's going on?"

"m-mingi, uh, hey," yunho stammers out.

san rolls his eyes at the older's stutter. "nothing much, it's just that your friend here has quite a wild imagination sometimes."

"hm? why's that? missing my little buddy that much, are you?"

"in your dreams, song mingi," yunho lies, somehow managing to maintain his calm nature, even with the brunette's boldness.

"oh my gosh, mingi- your dreams come true? wow, i could never be more jealous of anyone! don't you agree, yunho?" san turns to mingi, ignoring his best friend's betrayed glare.

"am i hearing right, my little yunnie?" mingi starts, voice low and seductive. "you're a lucky one tonight then, if you're up for it."

yunho's eyes widen in surprise. "but didn't you and renjun—"

"pretty boy backed out before we had he chance to go all the way. so what do you say, hm?"

of course he's only here for yunho because he didn't get who he wanted.

san refrains from saying any of the sort out loud, since he knows that mingi's intentions aren't at all bad. because at the end of the day, he's just a poor teen who's addicted to sex and crazily blind to his best friend's feelings for him.

stepping away from his friends' heated make out session that has just begun — and will undoubtedly lead to much more — san's eyes search the room he's in for a way out. he feels disgustingly warm and sticky with all of these people around him, and needs some fresh air. san's gaze ends up landing on where he previously had his silent encounter with wooyoung, yet the boy isn't stood there anymore.

he's probably hooking up with some girl, san thinks, but quickly shakes the thought away, before walking towards a door that he notices leads to the outdoors. he slides the glass door open, the abrupt cool wind sending tiny shivers through him.

the intoxicating alcohol in the air is replaced with the smell of cigarettes, yet, quite frankly, san prefers it much more. it's less crowded out here, and though he can't recognise a single being, the lack of familiar faces is somewhat relaxing; he figures it's because he no longer has to watch his own back.

"hey, look at what that dude is wearing," a voice mutters as san walks by.

"he pulls it off really well, though, doesn't he?" another voice is saying, grabbing the blond's attention. san sends them a quick smile.

"so? he's not meant to be wearing that kind of stuff."

"right, what would his parents think?"

just ignore them, san.

after a while of aimlessly swerving through groups of tipsy teenagers, san ends up by one rather isolated side of the building. it's quiet, tranquil. the pretty moonlight is the only source of light and the soft whistle of the wind is the only thing he can hear. luckily, he managed to get through hearing all the whispers about him without letting it affect him all too much, and now it's the last thing on his mind.

san leans onto the wall behind him, a deep sigh escaping his lips. exhausted, he allows his eyelids to flutter shut a tad bit, and his mind can't help but be clouded by jung wooyoung.

eye contact and a smile. who knew san would think this much into things that are so simply insignificant to any other person? who knew san would replay half a minute of his life that only means nothing over and over again?

but maybe, just maybe, yunho is right... maybe it does mean something.

if only something means being held in wooyoung's strong arms arms one day, curling up into wooyoung's broad chest, and falling asleep to wooyoung's soothing heartbeat, as a gentle hand weaves its fingers through san's hair.

though there's no point in it whatsoever, and all he's doing is wasting his time, the blond boy just wishes that he can be in such a position one day.

———

a/n: guys i have a question — pls only answer if you are a little!! would it be okay as someone who doesn't experience little space  to write about it? i've asked a friend of mine but i wanted to make sure with you guys too, just in case it comes off as disrespectful!

anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :D