(41 : NOT A DUMP WE; 'TIS  . . .
NO TIME TO PLAY NOW )

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     DECEMBER BLED INTO JANUARY AND Juliet returned to Hogwarts with more than the pressure of exams weighing on her mind. It reached a point that she had supply of Invigoration Draughts hidden beneath her bed because she refused to sleep entirely. In part, her reasoning was due to the constant state of fear her nightmares left her in — nightmares of vicious werewolves and vengeful fathers — but it was mainly because there seemed to be a countdown clock looming over her head.

Lord Voldemort's task was her most pressing problem, of course. Regulus continued to help her on that front, pretending nothing had changed between them following his confession of infatuation. In fact, it was him who had arranged a meeting with the goblins on her behalf and convinced them to forge using mercury instead of silver. Goblin and wizard relations were known for being fraught, but the Blacks had been loyal purchasers of goblin-wrought creations for centuries, so the creatures quickly agreed once some thinly-veiled threats were exchanged. Every accidental touch between them may have made her more cautious than before, but she was grateful for his assistance all the same.

     On the rare occasion she wasn't holed up in an abandoned classroom trying to solve the mysteries of immortality, she was left wondering if there was a way to escape her marriage contract without ending up dead. Something about marrying Regulus felt cruel if she would never return his feelings, felt too much like she would be giving him false hope. If James had never crashed that Halloween party, maybe she would've learned to love Regulus. But James was a once in a lifetime type of love. It was James who looked out for her even when he hated her — he protected her from the blast in Hogsmeade, he opened up his home to her over Christmas twice and he used his family connections to gift her a Ministry-authorised portkey as a precaution for the Malfoy wedding, despite the fact they were broken up. It was James who taught her how to identify emotions like happiness and love when she didn't know how to feel anything but indifference. And it was James who she saw a future with, a future where she would flourish and thrive.

All of which brought her back to her third and final problem . . . how to tell James Potter that she was in love with him.

"Ugh!" Juliet screwed up the parchment she was writing on, tossing it onto the pile. At least twenty pieces of parchment had now been discarded, leaving her shared dorm unbearably messy.

J̶a̶m̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶a̶p̶p̶r̶o̶a̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶o̶d̶a̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶

N̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶t̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶t̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶

I̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶J̶a̶m̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶

It was the second week of term and she still hadn't figured out how tell James about her newfound feelings. Sometimes they would spot each other in the corridors and she would spin around, not wanting him to approach her before she found the right words. Everything she wrote down seemed to be wrong — too formal, too insincere, too emotional. But she couldn't afford to mess things up again with James. Being impulsive and spur-of-the moment might have worked for him, but she needed structure and plans if she wanted to have some semblance of control over her own life.

     Blair Rowle — one of the girls in her dorm — finally snapped, vanishing the papers with a flick of her wand. "I can feel the teen angst suffocating me from here," she complained, levelling the redhead with an unwelcome glare. "If you're going to whine and sigh like a bloody Hufflepuff, do it away from me."

    "Just go back to looking at yourself in the mirror, Rowle." Even though Juliet rolled her eyes, she decided she might as well stretch her legs and spitefully added, "I was about to visit the Owlery anyway. Hopefully you'll have plucked that monobrow by the time I get back."

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     Although it had been a convenient excuse, Juliet really did need to visit the Owlery. Whilst she had never made a habit of writing home, she was about to send off her seventh letter in the past two weeks. Her mother still hadn't replied to any of them, which worried Juliet. It would soon be a month since she had murdered her father and nobody had breathed a word of his death to her yet. She kept waiting for an announcement in the newspaper, a letter detailing his will, a visit from her mother, something that would prove she hadn't imagined it.

As she was about to enter the tower, she bumped into someone. "Reg, hey!"

"Juliet! I've been meaning to speak to you. I found this book on —" Regulus stopped mid-sentence. "Is everything alright? You look terrible."

     "Wow, thanks," she drawled, leaning against the side of the entrance.

     Regulus grimaced. "Not up to your usual level of sarcasm either. I'm disappointed."

     "I'm tired, that's all," she told him, her smile looking strained. "I want to know who decided the Owlery should be in a tower and have that many steps. I feel like I've ran a marathon every time I come up here."

     "Hate to break it to you, but you might want to look a little more alive because Lover Boy and the Merry Men are on their way up," he announced, peering over the winding stone stairs.

     Juliet panicked, knowing Regulus was most likely right and she looked terrible. No amount of Invigoration Draughts could conceal the dark circles under her eyes, or the knots in her hair, or how much baggier her clothes now hung on her frame. Not long ago, she wouldn't have been caught dead looking anything less than perfect, but she didn't care anymore. Nothing as frivolous as her hair or her make up mattered if it would take precious time away from finding answers. Answers as to how she could survive the war.

Resting his elbow above her head on the wall, the boy leaned in. "What do you say? Care to make him jealous?"

"I'm not in the mood to play games," Juliet insisted, placing a hand on his chest to push him away.

Before she could, he caught her hand and raised a doubtful eyebrow. "You're a Slytherin, we're always in the mood for games," goaded Regulus, pushing up against her so they were close enough that she could feel his hot breath on her neck. "He abandoned you, Juliet. At least have a little fun with it." He brushed her hair to one side, smirking as he knew exactly what buttons to push when it came to her. "No, wait, don't tell me that you're one of them now. All sanctimonious and soft hearted."

"You're right, I should have some fun with it," she whispered, batting her lashes flirtatiously. "Where's your brother when I need him, huh?"

Juliet was about to end it there because she had no intentions of using Regulus like that — even he offered. Plus, she didn't want to hurt James like that — even if he deserved it. However, she didn't get the chance to push him away because Peter Pettigrew was suddenly shoved between them, stumbling as he was thrown between the uncomfortably close pair.

     Peter remained sheepish and oblivious. "Hi, Juliet!" The boy moved in front of Regulus, but he was much shorter and failed to block her view as intended. "I don't know if we're friends now, but you saved my life and all, so —"

     "James —" Juliet called out, immediately straightening when she spotted him on the top step. At the sight of him, a wave of dizziness washed over her. From his lowered brows to his tense jaw, his face was etched with disbelief. Sirius and Remus were behind him, equally as baffled as to what they had interrupted.

James ignored her. He promptly attached a parcel to an owl — not even caring to find his own — and then flounced back out without waiting for his friends.

     In regret, her eyes traced his movements. "I — I need to follow him," she realised, passing her letter to Regulus. "Do you think you could send this for me? You already know Ares, he should be somewhere in the back. Just tell him it's for my mother and he'll kn —"

     "You don't know?" Regulus abruptly cut off her tirade about her owl, Ares.

All of her thoughts were feeling rather fuzzy that day. It was like her brain was made of static — had she even remembered to take an Invigoration Draught earlier? — so it took her a few seconds longer than usual to comprehend what he'd said. "I don't know what, Regulus?"

"Your mother is dead," stated Regulus. "She committed suicide over a year ago."

     Her faced paled, but her world darkened. And that was the last thing she recalled before she collapsed.

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A.N:

James: Confesses he loves her whilst drunk less than five months after properly speaking to Juliet.

Juliet: Writes out exactly what she wants and takes over a year.

That, that right there is the difference between them 😭 Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! The first chapter back at Hogwarts is always kind of awkward and I actually changed this last minute. Juliet and James were meant to make up, but everyone wanted him to suffer a little longer.

Question, what would you name your owl? This is so random, but I revealed Juliet's is called Ares aka the god of courage and war, which obviously has some underlying significance. I do like Greek God names, so probably Athena or Artemis for me.