Meet me by the comm school in 10?

My heart skipped a beat as I opened the text message and typed out a single word in response: Sure.

I'd left my skateboard at home that morning in anticipation of my meeting with Pete, so I hurried across campus on foot, annoyed by how slowly everyone else walked. The communications school was close enough to where I was that I didn't need to rush, but it still felt like the other students around me were moving at less than a snail's pace. I mumbled the occasional apology as I weaved through groups of people, unwilling to lessen my own stride to accommodate theirs. I had a tendency to move quickly around campus in general these days, in large part because I was afraid that slowing down would give an old acquaintance the opportunity to pop up and stop me for a chat. The prospect of being roped into small talk with someone from freshman year gave me the chills, if only because I knew exactly how any conversation we might have would go: "So, what are your plans for after graduation?"

By the time I reached the building that housed our university's communications department, Gemma was already waiting for me on the edge of one of the many fountains that decorated our school's grounds. Wearing a sundress and sandals, she waved to me as I drew closer and got to her feet. Her backpack rested on the ground beside her and before she could move to pick it up, I bent down and grabbed it.

"You don't have to," she protested halfheartedly, but I shook my head because I knew that she loved it when I did things like that.

"What's going on?" I asked, still somewhat surprised that she'd wanted to spend time with me in broad daylight.

Gemma bit her lip. "I've been thinking and I realized that I haven't been very nice to you recently. I'm sorry."

My eyebrows shot up with disbelief. I looked around, certain that I was being set up for a prank. "What are you doing?" Gemma asked as I spun in a circle, trying to spot one of my friends.

"Where are the cameras?"

"The what?"

"You're screwing with me, right?"

Gemma looked hurt, or, at the very least, she'd mastered the art of pretending to be. "Why would you think that?"

"When's the last time you've ever apologized for anything?"

Eyes narrowing, I could feel Gemma bristle in response to my jab. When her mouth opened, I expected a cutting retort in reply, but instead, she sighed. Her expression softened again while she studied my face. "That's fair. You're right." She motioned towards a building in the distance. "Do you want to go to MoGro?"

MoGro, the unofficial nickname of Moretti Grounds, housed the campus' main café. Typically teeming with anxious freshmen, the university had recently renovated it to add on an additional dining area. Gemma continued, "I thought maybe we could talk, or something."

"About what?"

Taking a small step forward, Gemma reached out and took my hand. "What do you think?" she asked, her voice low.

My breath caught in my throat as I realized the conversation that we were about to have couldn't possibly end well. The look in Gemma's eyes told me as much. The expression on her face also told me that whatever came next was completely out of my control, just like everything else with her. "Yeah okay," I said after a short pause, my mouth dry.

Gemma smiled and I tried to read her body language while he walked, our fingers loosely weaved together. I needed to be able to anticipate which way the conversation would go, if only so that I could prepare myself for either crushing rejection or a stroll on cloud nine. She seemed like she was in a good mood, which made me wary. History told me that happiness and unpredictability were closely intertwined in Gemma's world.

When we arrived at MoGro, I offered to get the drinks while Gemma grabbed a table. After making it to the front of the line, I apologized before rattling off her order to the bewildered cashier: a venti non-fat, extra hot, sugar-free caramel macchiato with no whip but added foam. "And I'll just have a small latte," I said, digging out a few bucks to add to the tip jar. I didn't bother counting the dollar bills before stuffing them in. "Thanks."

In the early days of our relationship, I used to joke that Gemma's coffee order was as difficult as she was, but now that didn't seem as funny anymore. She genuinely didn't realize what a pain in the ass she could be and while I sometimes found her bossiness strangely endearing, it was embarrassing to see how strangers reacted to her extensive list of demands. Whether it was asking to change our table in a crowded restaurant or getting upset when she was charged a cover at a club, Gemma always had to have her way. I usually went along with it because it was easier than the alternative, but even people who didn't know her seemed willing to make her happy. As soon as they did, though, her requests always became more and more lavish. She liked to push people to the very limit of their patience, careful not to go too far but never afraid of crossing the line either. Ultimately, Gemma knew how to use her looks to get out of trouble and, man or woman, everyone who met her seemed happy to forgive her in exchange for one of her smiles.

Once I had our drinks, I wandered over to the table where Gemma was waiting. She'd chosen to sit in the far corner of the dining room, next to the window and far away from anyone who might overhear us. I set her drink down first before taking a seat in the chair across from her. Holding the mug between her hands, Gemma blew gingerly on her macchiato, speckles of foam landing on the table top. I watched while she brought her drink to her lips and took a long swallow, sighing when she lowered it again. I left my coffee untouched in front of me while I tried to stop my hands from shaking. I knew that if I moved to pick up my cup, I'd spill the hot beverage all over my lap. Silently, I promised myself that I would walk away from the table with as much of my pride as I'd had when I sat down.

"How are your classes?" Gemma asked, breaking the tension that had developed since I'd returned with her coffee.

I shrugged. "They're alright, I guess. Nothing special. Yours?"

"Great," Gemma replied, her face brightening with a smile. "Did I tell you that I got off the waitlist for Renner's class?"

"Don't you have him every semester?"

"I try to," Gemma admitted. "The guy's a genius. He spent all summer acting as a consultant for some international treaty that's being drafted."

"That's cool."

Between sips of her drink, Gemma murmured, "I thought so."

The small talk continued for a while, both of us happy to ignore the darkening cloud that hovered over our heads. When things were going well between us, Gemma could be incredibly easy to talk to, a fact that I was reminded of while we spoke. She laughed at my jokes and never missed an opportunity to land one of her own, which I appreciated. We lapsed into an easy, familiar banter and I knew that I could've spent the entire day watching the twinkle in her eye without ever getting bored. Eventually, however, we ran out of topics to joke about and we lapsed back into anxious silence.

"So," I began once we'd run out of ways to stall, and Gemma nodded, understanding.

"Look, Scott..." She paused, her mouth drawing into a resolute line. "I know you probably don't believe me, but I really am sorry for everything I put you through last year--"

"And the year before that?"

"And the year before that," Gemma agreed softly. She drummed her fingers against her knee and I knew that meant she was searching for what she wanted to say next. "I mean, it's so weird because I love being with you. I really do."

"But?"

"But I hate how, whenever we're together, things just get so... Complicated."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Scott."

She was right. I did know. But that didn't mean that I was going to fill in the blanks for her. Feigning ignorance, I shrugged, and Gemma went on, "You get jealous, or I get jealous, or--"

"Or you break up with me after I visit you in Rome?"

"But only because you knew I wanted some space and you couldn't give that to me for three months. Three months." Gemma reached up to brush her hair away from her face. She hadn't straightened it today so her normally sleek strands fell in a mixture of tight curls and waves. I preferred her hair like that, to be honest; it made her features seem less severe somehow, though I knew she hated the way her curls frizzed.

"I didn't know." Avoiding her gaze, I reached for my coffee and warmed my hands around the ceramic mug. Lines of coffee bled into the milk art that the barista had drawn on my latte's surface, destroying the carefully detailed dove that had once floated on top of the liquid. "I wouldn't have flown out if I'd known that's how you felt."

"You should try listening for a change. Maybe then I wouldn't always have to spell things out for you, Scott."

Her words stung, and I fought the urge to get up and walk away. Forcing a laugh, I mumbled, "May you should. You know I'm not very smart."

Gemma reached across the table and smacked my upper arm. "Stop, don't say that." I stared at her while she withdrew her hand, placing it on the table's edge. The cuticles around her thumbnails looked sore and I knew that she'd started biting her nails again. Quietly, Gemma said, "I like spending time with you, but I don't think that we should turn what we've been doing into a relationship."

My stomach dropped at the same time that a wave of nausea hit me. "So, you just want to keep doing the friends with benefits thing?"

"Well, no, I mean..." Gemma licked her bottom lip while she trailed off. Meeting my eye, she said, "I want to be more than friends with benefits but I don't want to say that we're, you know, official."

I shook my head with disbelief. "More than friends with benefits but less than being together? Jesus, Gemma, you're creating an entirely new dating category here."

"I'm not," Gemma protested, her brown eyes pleading. "I want to have fun with you, that's all. No drama, no fighting -- like when we were freshmen."

"Yeah, well, we were definitely in a relationship when we were freshmen."

Embarrassed by how bitter I sounded, I folded my arms across my chest while Gemma trained her gaze on her lap. She breathed in deeply. Without looking at me, she said, "This is our last year together, Scott--"

"It doesn't have to be," I pointed out, but Gemma simply sighed again.

"Scott, I took a job in D.C. I'm moving back the week after graduation."

And there it was -- the elephant in the room, the reason why we'd spent all of spring semester at each other's throats over my grades. The fact of the matter was that, in nine months, Gemma would be graduating. She'd be graduating and heading straight to the nation's capital, just like she'd always planned. Meanwhile, I'd still be in Los Angeles as a fifth-year senior with zero career prospects and no idea of what I wanted to do.

"It'll never work," she'd said back in March when I told her that I wasn't graduating on time.

"But it could," I argued, taking her hands in mine while tears rolled down her face.

"But it won't."

Gemma had ended things with me a few days later. She claimed it was because she wanted me to focus on my schoolwork but I had a feeling that she'd wanted to be able to look for jobs in D.C. over the summer without feeling guilty. As sophomores, we'd once and promised each other that we'd wind up in the same city after we finished school. New York City, Boston, D.C. Those were our top choices. We'd move into a one-bedroom apartment, get real jobs, and things would be different; all of the petty bullshit that drove us crazy would be left behind in California. That was the promise we'd made but it was a dream that seemed nothing less than naive now.

"I don't understand why you're so opposed to trying long distance," I blurted before I could stop myself.

Gemma scoffed. Finally meeting my gaze again, she replied, "I can't think of a single person who's done long distance and actually been happy. Can you?"

"I mean, I'm sure--"

"I'm sure that somewhere in the world, it's worked out for someone. Fair enough. That doesn't mean that I want to put myself through that." Gemma rolled her eyes. "Look at our friends: Alex and Becca broke up after a month, Hyun and Kimmy didn't even last that long--"

"Just because our friends' relationships didn't work out, that doesn't mean that ours wouldn't."

"Really, Scott?" Gemma asked, her eyebrows raised. "Because I'm pretty sure the odds are stacked against us. Look, we fight all the time. Do you seriously think that being two thousand miles apart is going to help us?"

Neither of us spoke for a long moment. Instead, we stared at one another, unwilling to unleash the words balanced on our tongues. Knowing that Gemma would never end the stalemate on her own, however, I eventually decided to give in. "I'd be willing to at least give it a shot," I said, careful to keep my voice low.

Gemma frowned, her eyes narrowing. "Why do you always have to make me the bad guy?"

"What do you mean?"

Her chin quivered almost imperceptibly, the telltale sign that her tears would be genuine rather than rehearsed. Rather than succumbing to her emotions, she chewed on her bottom lip while a dozen thoughts flitted across her face. "You know how I feel about long distance, but if I say no, then we won't... I don't want to feel pressured into agreeing to something that I know isn't going to work."

Exasperated, I shook my head to cut her off as I reached for my backpack and got to my feet. "Forget it," I said, stuffing my hands into my pockets. "Rush starts tonight but call me if you want to meet up tomorrow or something."

"Scott--"

"It's fine, Gemma," I said, turning away. "You're right. Let's just have fun."

I lifted a hand to say goodbye and hurried outside. As I stepped into the sunlight, I felt a twinge of guilt for not returning my coffee mug to the counter. For a split second, I thought about going back to grab it but my pride wouldn't let me. Still, I knew that Gemma wouldn't grab the cup on her way out and, unlike her, I hated leaving a mess behind.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry for any typos - I had to decide between doing a second round of edits or getting two chapters up today. Please let me know if you see anything that's off!