mark's eyes fluttered open, the boy groaning at the soreness of his body.

"hello, mark."

the boy turned his head slowly, seeing the nurse smiling at him.

"hello..." he mumbled, sitting up on the bed while holding his head. "what happened...?"

"you were beaten by someone, so you have bruises a bit everywhere, and your head was wounded too. you passed out earlier, but donghyuck brought you here and i could treat your wounds." the nurse explained, staying by mark's side to help him if he ever felt lightheaded.

"donghyuck...?" mark whispered, his heart breaking at the name that slipped past his lips.

"yes, he was really worried about you." the nurse nodded.

"he was acting. he doesn't care about me." mark told, making the nurse sigh.

"you guys should talk. it would solve lots of your problems..."

"i'm not so sure about that..."

the nurse stayed silent for a while.

"i'll call your mother for her to pick you up, is that okay?" she asked.

"i can go back home on my own."

"donghyuck told me not to let you do that." the nurse explained, making mark snort again.

"i told you he was- "

"mark?"

both mark and the nurse turned around to face the person that had entered the infirmary.

the nurse gasped as mark's eyes closed in despair.

what the hell was dahyun doing there, looking so fucking calm?

"i... i'll let you two have a conversation..." the nurse explained, looking between the two before walking away. she was there during the basketball game, and she knew that they really needed to figure things out.

mark sighed, keeping his eyes away from his girlfriend – well, probably ex-girlfriend by now.

"mark, are you... are you okay?"

"dahyun, you don't have to pretend pitying me..." mark told. "just yell at me, scream at me, hit me, do whatever you want. i know i deserve it. but, please, don't make it look like you pity me..."

the canadian dreaded this conversation.

he knew it was bound to happen, but he couldn't help wanting to push it away as much as possible.

he was sure nothing good would get out of this conversation.

in mark's mind, he was already single, and he had been since the second dahyun had learned about her boyfriend and her brother having an affair.

"mark, i'm not going to yell or scream at you, and i won't hit you either." dahyun sighed, approaching the boy sitting on the infirmary's bed. "i came here because i needed to talk to you."

"dahyun, we're not together anymore, i know it. you don't need to tell me once again. i figured it out."mark told.

"please, listen to me." dahyun begged. "i'll try my best to be quick, but i really need to tell you something."

mark gulped, his head pounding because of tiredness, and his wounds.

his heart was already aching more than his body, and he didn't need dahyun to make it ache more.

but he couldn't prevent that, dahyun and him needed to have a talk and clarify things.

"i'm not mad at you, mark." dahyun spoke, making mark snort loudly.

"dahyun, i cheated on you. what part of it didn't you understand? i fucking kissed and had sex with your brother. more than a reason to be mad at me, this is a reason to hate me and want me dead!" mark spat.

"i do understand, mark. but i repeat, i'm not mad at you." dahyun nodded. "i'm mad at myself."

"you're mad at yourself?"

"i'm mad at myself for not realising that you and i weren't an as good match as you and donghyuck. i'm mad at myself for not realising that my brother and you had something going on. i'm mad at myself for being selfish, and wanting to break up with you because our relationship wasn't going fast enough. and most importantly, i'm mad at myself for..."

mark's eyes were tearing up at that point.

the boy was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

his body was sore, and he could take a good night of sleep in a comfortable bed to rest – donghyuck's bed would have been perfect for that, it was so big and so fluffy, and it held the boy's divinely manly scent...

his mind was a mess, as messy as donghyuck's bedroom, and begging him to stop torturing himself by thinking about the younger tanned male.

but mark couldn't help it.

it was no secret that he had helplessly fallen in love with donghyuck, and he couldn't stop thinking about him, despite everything he had done to him.

dahyun's words only brought more pain to him, making him break down silently.

she was making him realise how much of an asshole he was, cheating on her.

"i'm so mad at myself for cheating on you..."

as soon as those words went past dahyun's lips, mark's head shot up, finally looking at his ex-girlfriend in the eye.

what now? had mark heard things right?

"y-you..." mark stammered, unable to form a full sentence as his whole body was hit at the same time by waves of relief, sadness, treason, and confusion.

"you're not the only one at fault, mark. you may have cheated on me, but i have no right to be mad at you, because i did cheat on you too."

for what felt the hundredth time of the week, mark's heart shattered into billions of pieces.

so, he wasn't only miserable for being naïve and believing donghyuck could return his feelings, he was also a fool for thinking he could have a girlfriend and keep it.

was he really not-lovable?

why would donghyuck play him?

why would his girlfriend cheat on him?

this has to be because he isn't good enough for love.

this has to be because he didn't deserve to be loved.

this has to be because he wasn't as perfect as he believed he was.

"you cheated on me..." mark mumbled as more tears left his eyes, crashing onto his lap.

he hated his life. he hated love. and more importantly, he hated himself...

＃

sitting on a bench in front of school, mark was waiting for his mother's car to pass in front of him.

tears kept leaving his eyes, and he couldn't help but let out little sobs as his shoulders slumped, making his whole body hurt.

he was deep down in his misery, more alone than ever.

he had lost his girlfriend.

he had lost his lover.

he had lost his friends.

he had lost his reputation.

he had lost his sanity.

he basically had lost everything.

"hey... everything alright...?"

mark lifted his head slowly, meeting eyes with a boy he had never spoken to.

"hello... and... not really..." mark sighed, wiping his eyes.

"i'm sorry to hear that..." the boy took a sit next to mark on the bench. "mark, is that it?"

"yes." mark nodded. "and... i'm sorry, i don't know your name..."

"oh, i'm chunho." the boy smiled. "i'm the new captain of the soccer team."

mark hummed, the mention of the soccer team bringing more tears to mark's eyes as he unconsciously thought about donghyuck again.

"i'm sorry about... what happened at the basketball game..." chunho said, smiling sadly at mark.

"yeah, it's okay i guess..." mark shrugged, as if none of this mattered to him, when it made him want to die on the inside.

"you're not the one at fault, mark. don't blame yourself for that." chunho placed a comforting hand on mark's back.

"i cheated on my girlfriend. with her brother." mark explained, choking on a sob.

"you did, but it's not your fault." chunho assured. "i'm sure you're someone who knows how wrong it is, and i'm positive you didn't want to cheat on your girlfriend... it's donghyuck who's at fault... he made you cheat, intentionally. he did that because he wanted to be better than you. and this is wrong. he is wrong."

mark stayed silent for a while, reflecting on what chunho had just said.

he was right. mark had a girlfriend and he was loyal.

he didn't want to cheat on dahyun.

donghyuck had made him cheat.

without donghyuck's influence, mark would have never cheated.

it was donghyuck's fault.

but at the same time, could he really blame donghyuck?

mark had been the one to give in.

if not for donghyuck, mark would have lost his girlfriend.

so, both ways, mark was fated to end alone; either by being so noob that his girlfriend would leave him, either by being so wrong that his girlfriend whold throw him away.

and he was the one to blame, because he had chosen the path that would hit the hardest.

but did he even regret it?

not really...

donghyuck had made him feel so good...

he had loved everything him and donghyuck had done. he had wanted more.

he had fallen for donghyuck as he had lost his feelings for dahyun.

and at some point, he was so happy with the way things were.

so, donghyuck wasn't the only one to blame. mark was too.

and he wasn't even sure he should blame donghyuck... maybe he could thank him actually, for making mark feel so good and so special. because, in the end, even despite the recent events, mark was still madly in love with donghyuck...

"come on mark." chunho patted mark's shoulder. "you deserve to be happy. you're an amazing guy... and you should get rid of all that sadness and this donghyuck-focused world because you're going to find much better people in the future, and you'll finally know what being happy truly feels like."

mark snorted at chunho's comforting words.

it wasn't that they didn't motivate him. it was just that chunho made everything seem easier than it actually was...

"getting rid of all that sadness is easier to say than to do." he told.

"at least, you should get donghyuck out of your mind. he's not worth being there. he's a freak who had nothing else in his mind than his pride and popularity." chunho smiled sweetly.

the canadian almost snapped at the words chunho pronounced.

how could he be this disrespectful towards donghyuck.

mark knew donghyuck wasn't like that. he used to be, but he had changed.

the donghyuck mark had kissed cared about people.

the donghyuck mark had had sex with didn't care about his popularity anymore.

how could chunho assume things when he didn't even know donghyuck as well as mark did?

"yeah, this is easy for you. donghyuck's actions got you what you wanted in the end. you're the soccer team captain, so it's easy for you to push him out of your life now." mark declared.

"well- "

chunho was cut by a honk, making him and mark lift their heads at the car that had appeared.

mark smiled as he saw his mother roll down the car window.

"i need to go." he declared, standing up and walking to the car quickly. "bye chunho."

"bye mark."

mark hopped inside the car, silently thanking his mother for starting the engine right away.

"are you okay, mark? the nurse told me you had fainted at school." she asked worriedly, glancing at her son.

"i'm okay..." mark mumbled.

"stop lying to me, mark. you've been in an awful state since saturday. and i can see dried tears on your cheeks." jane – mark's mother – told sternly, but without scolding him.

mark gulped, staying silent.

not that he didn't want to tell his mother, but actually, he didn't really know how to put everything the right way.

"is it about that boy you like and what happened?" jane asked, her eyes fixed on the road.

"yeah..." mark nodded. he had told his mother about everything that happened – obviously keeping to himself the fact that dahyun and donghyuck were twin siblings and the part about donghyuck playing him. but other than that, she knew that mark had cheated on his girlfriend with that boy he had developed feelings for, and also that their secret story had been revealed during the game.

"tell me what's bothering you."

mark sighed. "someone bullied me today because i had cheated on dahyun, and he beat me, but donghyuck came and fought with them, so they ran away. and then i fainted, so donghyuck brought me to the infirmary."

"was he the boy you were talking with on the bench?" jane asked soflty. "did he wait all that time for you?"

"no, i tried pushing donghyuck away, and he wasn't there when i woke up." mark explained. "but i had a talk with dahyun and... well, it's a bit complicated, but we broke up officially, and then i walked out to wait for you..."

"who was that boy then?" she continued her questioning session.

"his name is chunho. i had never really talked to him before but... i had seen him around when i was with donghyuck. he's a soccer player, just like donghyuck, but he didn't really like him because he was jealous that donghyuck had become team captain when he was supposed to be. but, well, now that people know what happened between donghyuck and i, donghyuck lost his place as team captain so, chunho is..."

mark stopped talking for a second, recalling every single time him and donghyuck had seen chunho around.

chunho was jealous of donghyuck, and he hated him for taking his spot as soccer team captain.

but now that donghyuck's secret had been revealed, he had become team captain...

"is there something wrong, mark?" his mother asked, perplexed by the fact mark hadn't finished his sentence.

"mom, i think i know who revealed our secret..."