You: HEYOO 

You: are you dead due the fire of yesterday

You: welp rip sansmaster

Sansmaster: HELLo

Sansmaster: IM NOt DEAD

You: NICE

You: also

You: i noticed this is the 13th day we talk wow

Sansmaster: Wowow

Sansmaster: I can feel it there's gonna happen something unlucky

You: well yes

Sansmaster: Anything happened at yours?

You; yeah

You: my mom called me again

You: and i thought i would pick up for once and hear what she would want to say

Sansmaster: and?

You: well turns out it was my dad calling

You: and telling me what screwup i am

You: so yeah my day was great

You: note the sarcasm

Sansmaster: alex you're not a screwup ok

Sansmaster: trust moi

You: ugh i just feel like shit rn

Sansmaster: well you can talk to me

You: thanks

You: i mean like why do i matter

You: I'm just some random girl

Sansmaster: alex stop

Sansmaster: i honestly care a lot about you okay

Sansmaster: and you're not some random girl to me

Sansmaster: so don't think about yourself like that just because your dad says that about you

You: thanks sans

Sansmaster: don't mention it

You: (I'm probably gonna mention this)

You: anything happened at yours?

You: something that's not incredibly depressing?

Sansmaster: well

Sansmaster: uh i had a nightmare again and I'm running on 1 hour of sleep rn with a shitload of caffeine in my system

Sansmaster: and Papyrus drunk some coffee

Sansmaster: he kept shouting GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

You: He swears?

Sansmaster: Well only when needed

You: and he needs to swear when he drinks coffee

Sansmaster: COFFEE IS GOOD SHIT OK

You: IKR

You: let me just order a whip cream caramel iced coffee with extra healthy powder and milk and sugar and some extra chocolate

You: - not me

Sansmaster: yeah what is up with the weird coffees this day

Sansmaster: i literally have milk and coffee that's it

You: same

You: well i have milk and sugar and coffee

Sansmaster: only hard core people drink it without sugar

You: tch

You: hardcore people drink it without something in it

Sansmaster: well i latte you a lot

You: wow are you espressoing your feelings

Sansmaster: HA I DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING

You: what can i say? I've bean busy making up these puns

Sansmaster: if i could shit, i had shitted my pants that was glorious

You: "Wow alex, that pun was great" - you in a more mature universe

Sansmaster: "Wow sans bby ily so much <3" - You in this universe

You: "Stop quoting things" - me rn

Sansmaster: okok shh child

You: what did harry potter say when he robbed starbucks

You: espresso patronum

You: (this is ur cue to laugh)

Sansmaster: what

You: don't tell me you havent seen hp

Sansmaster: *hides*

You: oh my god what is this

You: ALL THIS TIME

You: I WANTED TO SLYTHERIN YOU

You: BUT THEN

You: THE TERROR

Sansmaster: IS IT ON NETFLIX

You: PROBABLY YES

Sansmaster: I'll watch it tonight

You: it are 8 films btw

Sansmaster: idc i want to be able to understand ur jokes

You: nahw

Sansmaster: i have heard alphys talking about it as well

You: is Alphys like the internetlord she knows so much

Sansmaster: yes

Sansmaster: she was the royal scientist in the underground actually

You: Nice

Sansmaster: Undyne was the head of the royal guard

You: cooloio

You: fish lady x lizard dino is still otp

Sansmaster: ikr

You: what was your occupation in the underground?

Sansmaster: i was a sentry

Sansmaster: Pap as well btw

You: Coolio

Sansmaster: We would go on patrol for humans

Sansmaster: Pap was so dedicated i cant

You: ha

Sansmaster: Wanna hear a story?

You: sure

Sansmaster: So one day, Papyrus decides that he wants to become stronger.

Sansmaster: so the guy heads over to the head of the royal guard her house and knocks. She opens and Pap asks if she could train him

Sansmaster: Undyne refuses and slams the door.

You: WhAt i thoughT UNDYNE Was Nice???

Sansmaster: She is hold on

Sansmaster: So pap is pretty upset, but stays determined anyway and waits the whole night in front of the door without sitting down or closing an eye

Sansmaster: So the next day, Undyne wants to get out of her house, and sees Pap still in front of his door

Sansmaster: She finds it killer that he waited so long, so she decides to train him

You: nahw

Sansmaster: they eventually switched over to making pasta

Sansmaster: Papyrus is too kind to be in a royal guard. He couldn't ever kill anyone. He would just become friends with them

You: that's true

Sansmaster: so yeah that's the story how pap got his passion for cooking

You: coolio

Sansmaster: any cool storys?

You: uh

You: yes actually

You: so this happened when i was out with the girl scouts

You: (yes i was a rad scout)1!11!!!!

Sansmaster: ha

You: So there was this mysterious box on the terrain we were staying. And me and friends wanted to see what was in it.

You: We investigated and saw there was a lock, so we had to sneak into the teachers room to get the key

You: we had this cool plan that two people would get in a fist fight and that i would get the teachers. two other kids would sneak in and grab the key

Sansmaster: wow

You: SO THAT SUCCEEDED YAY

You: And we unlock the lock but the door wouldn't open so we found a crowbar and opened it

You: guess hwat was in it

Sansmaster: uh

Sansmaster: a car

Sansmaster: no wait

Sansmaster: a boat?

You: it was a golfcar

You: that was pretty glorious

You: and we wanted to ride it so we lead the teachers out of the room again and got the car keys

You: WE SUCCEEDED AND CAME A BIT FAR BUT THE TEACHERS WERE FASTER AND STOPPED THE CAR

You: so yeah that was my story how i practically stole a golf car

Sansmaster: i guess the speed of that golf car didn't drive a wedge between you and the teachers

You: HMMMMMMMMMMMM

You: a golf pun

You: *slow claps*

You: i want to rage quit

Sansmaster: also

Sansmaster: 12 days ayeyeyeyeeeeeeeeyeyye

You: yes

Sansmaster: help me I'm slowly becoming trash

You: how

Sansmaster: I'm listening to panic! at the disco again

You: HAHAH

You: what song tho

Sansmaster: Impossible year

Sansmaster: I LIKE THE BAND SO MUCH

You: hHAHAHHahahhH WELCOME IN MY TRASHPILE

Sansmaster: hi

Sansmaster: I like fall out boy and panic! at the disco

Sansmaster: and muse

Sansmaster; I LIKE MUSE SO MUCH THOUGH

You: SAME

You: quite aMUSEing if i may say so

Sansmaster: that was literally the worst pun you could come up with

You: that's why i made it

Sansmaster: sureeeee

Sansmaster: Baby: "ma ma"

Sansmaster: Mother: OH MY GOD HIS FIRST WORD SAY IT

Sansmaster: Baby: ma mam ama madness

Sansmaster: the mother gives a distressed look

You: HAHAHA

You: rip

You: what is life

Sansmaster: idk

Sansmaster: IM GOING TO WATCH HARRY POTTER NOW

Sansmaster: whats the first movie htough

You: HP and the philosopher stone

You: its glorious

You: watch it boneboy

Sans: OKAY BYE SKELETON GIRL IN FLESHY ARMOR

You: BYE skeleton dude

Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL