On fanfiction, this is when we capped 100 reviews, and our 100th reviewer was StarlightMoonMidnight! I asked her if she had any ideas for CYS's very first, celebratory bonus chapter, and - here it is! ;D It takes place just after the end of Ezra Lost. The entire crew is exhausted from their search, and now that they finally have Ezra back, they can sleep.

Well... most of them can.

15

Bonus Chapter: No Longer the Same

KANAN'S ROOM had been dark since he had gone to bed five hours before, but his mind had never stopped churning.

After a desperate search that had seemed to last forever, the crew of the Ghost finally had Ezra Bridger back. The boy, Kanan's Padawan, had vanished mere days before. His master had sent him on his first solo mission. And after he left, he never came back the same.

Kanan's angular eyebrows were scrunched together as he sat on the floor and just thought. He had already rethought everything several times over. Now he was scrutinizing everything - all the little details that had fallen away in all the chaos. What, exactly, had the Inquisitor done to Ezra to change him so drastically in so little time? Just the fact that it was possible to do something like that to him so quickly...

For the umpteenth time, Kanan's mind flashed back to Fort Anaxes. It was like a broken holo. No matter what, his train of thought always circled back around to that horrible day. The day when he had witnessed firsthand the seed of darkness in Ezra's heart - and Ezra's terrifying potential.

The Inquisitor, too, had witnessed it. Not only that, he had caused it - he had goaded Ezra on to unleash his rage and fear to fight back. And while Ezra had saved his and Kanan's lives because of the massive creature he had summoned through the Dark Side, Kanan had wondered over and over since then about how things could have gone differently. Maybe he could have somehow gotten the Inquisitor to face him alone, far, far away from Ezra. If only he were a better master - or a true Jedi - he might have been able to defeat the Inquisitor instead of the other way around. Then he could have just grabbed Ezra and left. Ezra would never have been forced to awaken something dark inside of him.

Kanan's eyes squeezed more tightly closed. If I were a better master, none of this would have happened at all. I should never have sent him out on that op. I hated doing that in the first place. Why couldn't I have just listened to myself?! Or known right away what had happen, then I might have been able to get him back sooner, and then-

A thunderous knock on Kanan's door ripped him out of his miserable brooding. Kanan's eyes flew open and he leapt to his feet with a shriek.

"Kanan?" came a gruff voice outside the door. "There's a girl in there with you? Sorry, I'll-"

Kanan rolled his eyes and strode forward, opening the door with a press of a button. Zeb Orrelios filled the hallway outside.

"You look awful," noted Zeb.

"You don't look much better," Kanan retorted, his voice sharp with lack of sleep. "I take it you haven't been able to sleep either?"

Zeb's ears twitched and then flattened as he glared down at his friend. "Yeah. That's why I came to get you."

Kanan stared up at him dully. "If you're having nightmares, it's probably because you drank too much bantha milk." He yawned and leaned against the doorway limply. "I don't know what they put in that stuff to keep it fresh as long as it does, but I wish Lothal would just get some banthas here... I mean.. it's colder... banthas have so much fur..."

"Prolly hair, actually," Zeb muttered, scratching the back of his head. "But that's beside the point. Like a lot. I'm not having nightmares, Kanan. Ezra is."

"Ezra?" Kanan looked up, his dark-rimmed eyes widening - and they stretched even wider as Zeb abruptly seized him by the front of his shirt and jerked him half off his feet.

"I can't. Sleep," Zeb snarled softly into Kanan's face. Kanan winced, not having cared to know that Zeb had been too tired to remember to brush his teeth. "Get in there, sing him a lullaby, read him a bedtime story - I don't care. Because if you don't..." he growled, lifting Kanan all the way off the ground and making him squeak. Zeb pressed his furry forehead into Kanan's. "Then I'll have a story to tell Hera about how you opened up the airlock and stepped out into space because you confused it for the bathroom."

"Okay," Kanan whispered shrilly. "Okay, okay. You need your sleep, big guy, I got it." He patted Zeb's shoulder, his feet waving helplessly beneath him. "I'll go make sure you get some, just - just put me down-"

Zeb dropped him like a sack of jogans and then turned to stomp off, muttering deliriously about stupid Jedi and bantha hair.

Kanan picked himself back up, his eyes still wide, then scrambled after Zeb.

:::

Zeb was already waiting in the cabin he shared with Ezra before Kanan got there (despite his hurry). Immediately he looked up at the top bunk, where Ezra was tossing and turning underneath several heavy quilts. (Hera was really worried about him being cold, considering he'd barely been alive when they'd fished him out of subzero ocean waters earlier that day. Kanan had insisted that he was warmed up now and had barely been able to escape Ezra's blanket-smothered fate.)

Ezra was talking in his sleep. There was a high note of fear in his voice as he muttered.

"I don't have anything to tell you." Kanan could just barely make out what he was saying. "I don't. You'll never... no. Who... who is... get.. s-stop it- no!"

Kanan stared at his fitfully sleeping Padawan with a long shadow falling across his face.

"He's been like this on and off for hours, and if he's not talking, he's still rolling back and forth in his bed," Zeb grumped to Kanan. "I tried to get him to wake up a couple times, but it's like he can't even hear me. And the floor in the hallway is very cold."

Kanan resisted the urge to say lots of things in response to that as he walked over to the bunks, shaking his head. Oh, Ezra. I don't know what I can do for you...

Just as Kanan came closer, Ezra screamed. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he yelled in terror, then yelped as he tumbled straight over the side of his bed.

"Whoa!" Kanan zipped to one side and caught Ezra in his arms before he could hit the floor. Kanan stared down to find his Padawan staring up at him, his sapphire eyes stretched wide in fear and confusion.

"W-W-W-Where-" he stammered, glancing around wildly. "Where am I - who-"

"Ezra," Kanan said softly, sitting him down on the edge of Zeb's bed. "You're home. It's.. it's okay."

"It's not okay!" Ezra cried out abruptly, shuddering. He looked up at Kanan, tears rolling onto his face. Kanan could tell just by looking into his eyes that Ezra was still halfway somewhere else - and the man he saw before him was not his master. "Don't let him come back! Please! I know he's going to come back!"

"Who?" Kanan asked, his alarm only skyrocketing as he knelt down and took hold of Ezra's shoulders. His Padawan had dissolved into listless sobbing. "Ezra. Ezra, come back to me... wake up." He gently shook him.

Behind him, Kanan heard the door open and close. Zeb had gone, just not knowing what to do for his best friend.

There was nothing he could do. It was solely up to Kanan right then.

I need to stop thinking about what I shouldn't have done... and start thinking more about what I should do.

"Ezra!" Kanan shook him harder. "Hey!"

Ezra slowly, hesitantly lifted his head. His gaze was beginning to clear as he looked at Kanan in even more confusion. "I..." His eyebrows met and he squinted faintly. "Kanan?"

"Yes, Ezra, it's me," Kanan said, sagging in relief. His grip loosened on Ezra's shoulders, but he didn't let go. He stared into Ezra's tearful face, still extremely concerned. "Are you..."

Kanan didn't finish that question. No. Ezra wasn't okay, and it would be some time before he was, if he ever would be again.

"I-I'm sorry, Kanan," Ezra stuttered, looking down at the floor. "I- I was-"

"-having a nightmare, I know." Kanan tilted his head to gaze directly into his eyes. "Do you... want to tell me about it?"

Ezra stared back at him, falling silent. He was still shivering uncontrollably underneath Kanan's fingers.

"You don't have to," Kanan murmured. "It's solely up to you."

Ezra sighed shakily. "A-alright. I.. I've got a lot to tell you. That I should tell you. About... about what happened to me..."

Kanan nodded slowly, rose, then sat beside him. "Okay," he said, still speaking calmly. "Tell me whatever you want. I'm here to listen."

And so Ezra told him. He started out slowly. And then it all came pouring out of him. Several times, Ezra couldn't bite them back any more and burst into tears. When he did, Kanan was right there to hug him - as tightly as he could, as though that could take it all away.

Ezra told Kanan how the Inquisitor and an army of Imperials had all been waiting for him at the docking bay. He had tried to escape, but they surrounded him. The Inquisitor toyed with him - allowing him to fight before crushing him with ease and taking him prisoner. When Ezra woke up, he was strapped to a cold table, which held him there as the Inquisitor talked to him. He'd had no memory of what had happened at first, but it was coming back in a rush as the Inquisitor finished his chat and silenced him with electricity.

After that, for most of the next day or whatever time had passed in that dark room - it had felt like forever was slowly dripping by - he was left alone. Until the Inquisitor returned - and not by himself.

"He was with someone," Ezra whispered faintly, his voice hollow as he hugged himself. "Someone - someone who wasn't even... I... I don't know what he was. His voice, it wasn't human. And - and he didn't have... a face. Just a mask. He had a black mask that stared right into me, and even though I couldn't see him when he came in, I - I felt it." Ezra's voice grew even quieter as he stared straight ahead, not at the wall but at a scene that only he could see. "He... he made everything... cold..."

Kanan, too, grew cold, as though the hidden ocean of Kysor 4 was flooding into his insides. He looked at Ezra in sheer horror, for there was only one individual in the galaxy whom that could be. "That was... that was... Darth Vader. A Sith Lord... the Emperor's apprentice. I... I've met him too. I've felt... that cold that you felt."

"He put it inside of me." Kanan could barely hear Ezra at all as the boy leaned his head against Kanan's shoulder. "H-He - he and the Inquisitor... they forced themselves into my head and they made me cold too. I-It was like they- they were erasing who I was." Ezra shuddered violently. "A-And that's - all I can remember clearly, Kanan.. until... until today, when I... came back." He seized Kanan's arm suddenly, staring up at Kanan with his eyes full of tears. "You brought me back."

Kanan stared down at Ezra. His heart, through the search, through Ezra's tale, had slowly broken into so many pieces it had left only a horrible ache behind. Quietly, he reached his hand up and gently thumbed away one of Ezra's tears.

"I'm always here for you, Ezra," he whispered softly, but though he was quiet, his voice was firm and fierce. "I will never, ever give up looking for you if someone takes you away. The Inquisitor took you because somehow, he knew that I wouldn't be there, that you were going to be alone. But from now on, Ezra, I am never going to be far and I am never, ever going to stop helping you. I will do everything in my power to do so. Do you understand?"

Ezra smiled shakily through his tears and gave a small nod before enveloping Kanan in a tight hug. Kanan closed his eyes, hugging him back even tighter.

He never wanted to let go.

THE END

I hope you guys enjoyed the bonus chapter! The title is a line from a song that I always thought went along with EL and CYS. It's called Give Me a Sign, by Breaking Benjamin.

This chapter also comes with a digital box of tissues. I'm sorry that Ezra Lost didn't come with any, but it's a very new technology. Unfortunately, it's so new it's also a little imaginary. xD

Up next: More Ponytail as he shows the Inquisitors who's boss! Though it's probably the Inquisitors. :P

~Arty, out!