Ryan's POV

I was bored. The upside of racing at home was I got to relax. No travel to get ready for. No appearances until the weekend. The downside. No travel and no appearances. I was used to being on the go all the time. I was not one to sit around at home. For some reason, I didn't feel like hanging out with Bubba today. I wanted to see Mason. And Kelsie.

I really should have called first. That would be the decent thing to do, but I wanted to surprise them. I grabbed a few video games. I didn't know if Mason had these or not, but I'd bring them just in case. Maybe we'd play games for a while, then I could take them out to dinner.

Kelsie opened the door, looking extremely cute in her Ryan Blaney T-shirt, leggings and barefoot, her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, and she was holding a spatula. I must have caught her cooking.

"Hi Ryan. I wasn't expecting you today." She pushed a strand of blonde hair that had come loose from her ponytail behind her ear.

"I'm sorry to barge in like this. I didn't have anything going on today, so I thought I could hang out with Mason for a bit." I held up the video games I was holding.

Her smile faltered a bit. "Oh Ryan, I wish you had called first. Mason isn't home. He's spending the night with a friend. First time since..." Her voice trailed off. I couldn't help but notice she looked a little sad.

"Are you busy?" I asked, hating the thought of her being alone, and hoping she might ask me to stay.

She shook her head. "I'm just cooking. I only found out a few minutes ago that Mason was staying at his friend's, and I had already started cooking. There is plenty if you would like to stay for dinner."

It was then that I noticed the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. If my nose was not mistaken, it was chicken and Mexican spices.

"I'd love too." I replied.

She laughed, a sweet musical sound. "You don't even know what it is."

"Doesn't matter. It smells great, and I'm not a picky eater." I followed her to the kitchen, and watched while she stirred the diced chicken in the skillet. She poured in a little water, stirred it again, and lowered the temperature to simmer, before adding a lid to the top.

"It just chicken tacos. Nothing fancy, but it's one of Mason's favorites."

"Sounds perfect. Is there anything you need help with?" I offered.

"It just needs to simmer a few minutes, while I warm up the tortillas. You can fix me a drink though, and get yourself one." She pointed towards the liquor cabinet I had seen a few nights ago.

I remembered she had drank Crown that night, but there was a bottle of original Crown and apple Crown.

"Apple." She said reading my thoughts, while she uncovered the skillet and stirred the chicken again. I poured some of the Crown into a glass and handed it to her. Our hands touched for just a moment, and I felt that same electric current that I felt the first time we met.

*******

"That was delicious." I said, pushing away my plate.

"There's more if you're still hungry." She picked up my empty plate.

I shook my head. "I'm stuffed." I replied. I had eaten five tacos. She rinsed my plate off, and put it in the dishwasher. She still looked a little sad, as she began scraping the leftovers into a plastic container. I grabbed the empty skillet and began rinsing it in the sink and placing it in the dishwasher. She gave me a smile, and it literally made my heart flutter. She was so damn pretty.

"I...uh. I was just going to watch some movies. You are more than welcome to stay, unless you have other plans." I couldn't miss the catch in her voice, the slight nerves. I got the sense she was lonely. She was not used to being alone, and my heart went out to her.

"I have no plans. I'd love to stay. I replied, and she flashed an even brighter smile. I really had been hoping she would want me to stick around. I could no longer deny the attraction I was feeling for her. This was probably a bad idea, but she needed a friend, and I had told her I'd like to be that friend to her.

*******

"Oh my God that was the worst movie ever." I groaned, as Kelsie grabbed the remote to see what else was on.

"You have no one to blame but yourself. You're the one who picked the movie." She laughed.

"Yeah. I think I'll let you pick the next one. It's your house anyway."

"Well you're my guest. It's the polite thing to do, let your guest choose the movie."

As she scrolled through the channel listings, I took the opportunity to look around. The room was spacious and very neat. Warm and inviting. There were a lot of pictures, and I got up to take a look at a family portrait. Kyle had been a very good looking guy. His dark hair and eyes a striking contrast to Kelsie and Mason's blonde and blue eyes. He and Kelsie made a stunning couple.

"Y'all looked very happy together." I commented, and immediately wished I could eat my words when I saw the crestfallen look on Kelsie's face, and the tears pool in her blue eyes. I'm such a dumbass.

*********

Kelsie's POV

"I'm sorry Kelsie. I wasn't thinking." Ryan said, a sympathetic look on his handsome face.

I choked back the tears. I was not going to lose it. I looked at Ryan. "No. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Being human?" He asked.

"For nearly falling apart." I replied.

"Kelsie, it's okay to fall apart. You can't be strong all the time." He placed his hand over mine, and his touch warmed me.

"But I have to. For Mason's sake. He can't see me lose it." Oh God. Please don't lose it. I begged myself.

"Mason's not here now. It's okay. I'll catch you when you fall." He opened his arms to me and I fell into them. As promised, he did catch me.

I couldn't hold in the tears that were threatening to fall any longer. I needed to unload at least some of this burden I had been carrying for so long.

Everyone thought that Kyle and I had a perfect marriage, and that's exactly what I wanted them to think because I could not open up to anyone. No one knew the truth, but now, I had this amazingly sweet guy sitting next to me. He was so easy to talk to. I would probably run him off after this, but I really needed to talk to someone.

"The last few years of my marriage were an absolute nightmare." I sobbed, but that was just the beginning.

"Did he hurt you?" Ryan asked, concern evident on his face.

I shook my head. "Not physically. He was very controlling. He was convinced I was being unfaithful, which I wasn't. He alienated me from everyone. That's why I do not have any friends. The night he was killed, I was going to tell him I wanted a divorce when he got home. He had not laid a hand on me in over two years. There was no affection. No intimacy. I was tired of the fighting and accusations. Our marriage was basically over anyway. We had a horrible fight right before he left to go on duty."

He held me while I cried. Even when my sobs had receded to sniffles, he kept his arms around me.

I lifted my head and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. Ryan moved closer to me, our lips only inches apart. Was he going to kiss me? I wondered to myself, but then he pulled away. I could feel my cheeks getting flushed. Of course he wasn't going to kiss me. What did a ridiculously hot 26 year old guy see in a 34 year old widow with a teenager? Absolutely nothing. Not to mention I was an emotional wreck right now, and I was sure I looked like a hot mess. The only reason he was here in the first place, was because of Mason. Of course, a fatherless boy tugged at the heartstrings, and Ryan was such a good guy. It didn't change the fact that I was wildly attracted to him.

"I... uh... I'm going to get another drink. Would you like one?" I asked awkwardly. I needed to get out of there.

"Sure." He nodded, so I made my way to the kitchen, still chiding myself. It was crazy. Even if Ryan were interested in me, which is a big if, was I even ready for that? Besides, I'm a fan anyway. Ryan's not going to go for a fan.

"Kels. I..uh..." He stammered nervously, startling me enough that I jumped. I didn't hear him walk up behind me.

I turned around, and he was right there, so close, that I could inhale whatever amazing cologne he was wearing.

Before I knew what was happening, he placed his hand on the side of my face, his other hand on the small of my back. and brushed his lips against mine. It was a brief kiss. Soft and sweet, but intoxicating nonetheless. God I wanted more.

"Is this okay?" He asked softly, his hand still lingering on my cheek.

"Uh uh." I nodded. I couldn't speak. That soft, sweet kiss had literally taken my breath away.

"I'm so damn attracted to you Kelsie." He whispered. Then his lips were on mine again, but this time, with more passion. He may have been a bit tentative at first, but he knew exactly what he was doing. The second I felt his tongue enter my mouth, I melted like warm butter. His mouth slotted perfectly with mine, his lips moved against mine in a way that set me on fire. I could taste the whiskey on his tongue, and it went straight to my head. I could get totally drunk on Ryan Blaney.

I was getting drunk on Ryan. My head was spinning and my legs went weak. I needed to touch him, so I slipped my hands under the back of his shirt, the feel of his skin set my hands on fire. He pressed me closer to him, his own hands found his way under my shirt, running along my bare back, and I thought I would burn up from the inside out.

I couldn't help but moan into his mouth. It had been so long since I had been kissed with such passion, since I felt a caressing touch. Hearing my moan must have fueled him, because the kiss got even more intense, and I was backed up into the wall.

I could feel his hardness pressed against me. He was as aroused as I was. Suddenly I knew I was ready to take it to the next level. He slowly broke away and began to place soft kisses along my jawline. He worked his way to my ear, and lightly took the lobe between his teeth.

"Is this still okay?" He whispered in my ear. I could feel myself get wet.

"Yes. I'm insanely attracted to you too. Don't stop." I murmured. Then he began to place soft, open mouth kisses along the column of my throat.

I felt the hand that had been caressing my back slip beneath the waistband of my leggings, as he placed his palm on my ass. "What about this?" He asked, his voice raspy.

"Yes." I whispered.

His hand moved lower as he wedged his knee between my legs, spreading them further apart, and his hand went lower still then he ran his finger along my wet folds. "And this?" He asked.

"Yes." I moaned, but then I hesitated as the implications of what I was about to do hit me. I shouldn't be doing this, but I wanted it so bad. I wanted Ryan so bad. It felt so wrong, yet it felt so right at the same time.

I needed this for me. All my life, I had put everyone else's needs before my own. Was it so wrong to want something for myself? Was it so wrong to take what I wanted? Just for tonight, I was going to put myself first.

Ryan must have sensed my hesitation because he pulled away. "Do you want me to stay Kelsie?"

"Yes Ryan. Stay. I don't want to be be alone tonight. I'm so tired of being alone."

"Tell me what you want."

"I want you to make me feel good. Will you do that Ryan?" As soon as I uttered the words, I felt his finger brush against my clit, and a wave of pleasure shot up my spine.

********

A/N: Whew, that was a long chapter, and I know I ended it in a bad spot, but I promise I'll make it worth the wait.