Around an hour after Mads had run off, Prongs and Lily left for their Prefect rounds. Sirius continued reading his book, almost finished with the time travel story he'd complained about to Mads. He had taken one of Prongs's books yesterday but ended up picking this one back up instead. Mads's interest in time travel made him interested in reading it more.

Merlin, he was a mess.

The story was too unbelievable though. Time travel had concrete, solid, unshakable rules. They all knew that. It was like the sky being blue or brooms flying.

Time travel was only possible with time turners. The traveler could only go back a maximum of 5 hours. And all travelers had to avoid their past selves or risk insanity.

Simple rules that everyone knew. He knew the books they were reading were fiction but it was difficult for him to enjoy the story when he knew that it was impossible.

The werewolf ones on the other hand...

Sirius shot a look at Moony who had his own book out. With the new wolfsbane potion discovery, there had been a flood of werewolf books in every bookshop even the Muggle ones a couple of years ago. And while not every aspect of werewolves in these books was true, Sirius knew some of them were and therefore found those books capturing his attention more than the time travel ones.

The pirate ones were probably his favorite though.

Moony stretched, ruffling his hair then placed a bookmark in his place. Sirius had given that to him for his last birthday, a thin wooden bookmark engraved with a crescent moon and his nickname. It was one of the simplest, cheapest gifts Sirius had ever bought in his life but Moony used it like it was the most precious item he owned and it warmed Sirius's chest seeing it being used now.

"Either of you up to raid Honeydukes?" Moony asked, meeting Sirius's eyes before glancing towards Wormtail. "I'm out of chocolate and -"

"It's your time of the month next week." Sirius replied snarkily. Moony shot an eyebrow up and gave him a look. "We know how to read a lunar chart, Moons."

"I'll go. I just finished my last box of Every Flavor Beans." Worm piped up, shutting his textbook quickly. Worm took every opportunity to avoid his schoolwork. It was a wonder he hadn't failed any of the years they'd been at Hogwarts. Moony turned back to Sirius, waiting for an answer.

"I'll wait here and let Prongs know where you wandered off to. Besides, I'm almost done with this rubbish." He replied, holding up the book in his hand.

Moony smirked at him, seeing straight through the paper thin excuse. "And wait for Mads to get back."

"I -"

"Come on, Worm." Moony stood, not even giving Sirius a chance to reply. With a flick of his wand, the Map flew from the stairwell into Moony's waiting hand. The tall werewolf ruffled Sirius's hair as he passed. Swatting the chuckling arsehole, Sirius scowled as he and Worm slipped out.

Sirius continued reading in the now empty common room. Despite his reluctance though, he fell partially into the story, only stopping two more times to roll his eyes at the dramatic plot line. Shaking his head slightly, he returned to the book in his hand, determined to finish it despite -

Panic shot through the bond. Sirius's breath stopped, time stopped, everything stopped as the terror paralyzed him. Vaguely, he knew he'd dropped his book but it seemed as if it were happening to someone else not him. Because he was locked in an all consuming panic.

Gripping the couch in a vice, Sirius struggled to pull himself away from the bond. It held him tight, cutting off his air supply and blurring his vision. Air, he needed air -

Dimly, he made the connection in his brain that it was Mads having this panic attack and not him. The overwhelming waves of terror made it difficult to break away from her feelings though. Sirius did his best to focus on slowing his breath even if Mads couldn't.

After what felt like years, he finally broke away from the grip of the bond. It was there, hovering under the surface, but Sirius could mentally feel the separation between him and the bond.

He shakily breathed out a full breath, running a hand over his face. Godric's saggy balls, he hated how this bond worked. He had no idea what had caused Mads to feel like this and it drove him mental. If Moony and Worm hadn't taken the Map a moment ago, he'd find her and destroy whatever the hell had caused her to have a panic attack.

As if he didn't have enough to worry about when it came to Mads. The nightmares and now panic attacks, she was going to run him into an early grave with how much he worried about her. Because that's what his primary emotion was right now: worry.

Sirius stood and began to pace, needing to work off the restlessness consuming him now. On one hand, he had the urge to tear the castle apart and find her to comfort her but on the other...on the other, he knew she'd have to come back to the common room or Moony and Worm would return and he'd be able to find her with the Map. She was supposed to be with Dumbledore and McGonagall but with his luck, he'd get there only to find that she'd left.

He was hanging around Lily too much. Waiting for Mads was entirely too reasonable and - and - rational. He shivered in disgust at the thought. Running his hand through his hair, he turned and continued pacing.

Breathing deeply, he focused on the bond again and could tell that Mads had calmed somewhat. Not entirely relaxed but the utter panic was gone. The tightness in his chest loosened a bit but until Mads was within reach, Sirius knew that tightness would stay lodged there.

——-

Albus heard his office door slam violently shut and held in a sigh. He knew this was inevitable since Ms. Rose had been escorted out earlier but still dreaded this conversation.

Minerva, one of his closest confidants, had her hands on her hips, glaring harshly at him as he turned to face her. "Minerva."

A fir wood wand appeared in her hand and she pointed it threateningly at his chest. Minerva was a formidable opponent and although Albus was confident in his ability to fend her off any other time, this time a bit of doubt crept in at the look on her face. If looks could kill.

"You traumatized that poor girl. What were you thinking?" She spat, stalking closer to him. He stood his ground as she continued. "She has enough going on without you questioning her relationship with Mr. Black! And you never once brought this up before now! If you were so adamant about her staying away from the boy then why encourage her to befriend him in the first place?! Why, Albus?"

"Because I believe Ms. Rose is the sort of person who will do the opposite of what an authoritative figure tells her to." Her wand dropped a few inches, almost limp in her hand as the realization swept over her.

"You want her to be with Sirius." Minerva took one step back, her wand dropping to her side. "Then why -"

He sat against the edge of his desk, facing her fully. "Did you notice what she was doing during her panic attack?"

"The one you caused." Her brows narrowed in anger before smoothing out into contemplation. Albus could see the dots connecting as she replayed the moment. "Her shoulder. She was counting something - no. Albus, already? She's only been here a few months! How - when?"

"We knew this was coming, Minerva. Her future self was adamant that we remain silent on the matter but that it was crucial we question her choices. She must come to terms with the bonds on her own, we can't influence the acceptance or rejection of them." He could see the future Maddie Rose in his mind's eye. Confident, bold, and more sure of her path than she currently was. The future Maddie understood the decisions she made were done at the correct moments in time and that if she wasn't pushed to her limits, forced to question herself, she might not be strong enough to do what was needed.

"But so soon? She clearly hasn't even accepted her reality." Minerva protested, the attachment and protectiveness she felt for the young girl already stronger than Albus had anticipated.

"In time, she will accept pieces of it and that is all we can hope for. Ms. Rose must decide what her reality is." Albus replied solemnly, heart heavy with the sparse knowledge he had of Ms. Rose's future. She had relayed only the essentials, pieces that were crucial to build her into someone that had the possibility of defeating a great darkness. And if Maddie needed him to become her enemy, to help build her into what she would become, he would gladly do so.

——

Professor McGonagall had dropped me off at the portrait hole entrance after forcing two cups of tea and nine biscuits in me but as I stood there, the Fat Lady waiting impatiently for me to give her the password, I turned and walked in the other direction. Sirius was on the other side of the entrance pacing back and forth. I could sense him as he moved, probably in front of the fireplace.

I should go and talk to him. Explain I'd had a panic attack, not why but just reassure him that I was alright. Dumbledore's accusations were still swirling around in my head though, making me a bit nauseous.

What is stopping you from giving Mr. Black even a piece of the truth?

It was impossible to explain to Dumbledore how I knew with absolute certainty that Sirius wouldn't believe any part of the truth. It would mean I'd have to explain the bond and I wasn't ready to share that with him yet. A part of me worried he'd experiment with it, his thirst for knowledge greater than his concern for his students, and another part just didn't trust him. Actually, a large part of me didn't trust the professor.

I knew that I'd have to share the danger Voldemort posed and work with Dumbledore to have even a chance of beating Voldemort but...that didn't mean I had to trust him.

I'd have to talk to Sirius eventually though.

Right now, I needed a distraction. And coffee.

——

Regulus rubbed the bridge of his nose in aggravation. Bloody third years thinking they could get away with shite like this. "Back to the common room now. Or you will get detention and I'll make sure it's with Filch."

The two third years huffed before turning back towards the Slytherin common room. The little shites had thought they could sneak down to the kitchens to steal sweets after curfew. They'd only made it a few halls before being caught. Regulus hadn't given them detention like he should've but he knew that Finan Greengrass had failed his potions exam the other day and adding on detention when he could be studying would be counter-productive.

"You really are a big softie, aren't you?" Rose's voice floated over his shoulder. Turning with a raised eyebrow, he found the brunette leaning against the wall with a smirk on her face. Her mutt hopped over to him, shoving his nose into Regulus's palm.

"Rose." Regulus said, unimpressed. He idly petted the beast and watched as she pushed herself off the wall and strolled towards him, tilting her head curiously. "You know I could give you a detention for being in the halls after hours?"

"Ah but then I'd have to report you for favoritism." She winked, coming to a stop in front of him. Only around two inches shorter, the girl seemed taller than that in his mind. Her mischievous brown eyes were impossible to break from. He noticed the area around her eyes a bit puffy though, as if she had been crying. "Not giving a fellow Slytherin detention but giving one to a Gryffindor? Tsk tsk, Reg. They'll take away your badge. And you know your dear old mother would be so disappointed in you."

He eyed her carefully, not rising to the bait. Rose seemed on edge, the taunt she threw at him was looking for a fight, and he decided to ignore the barb. Returning a raised eyebrow, his own head tilted to the left slightly. "Do you have a reason for breaking curfew?"

"Coffee." She replied, holding a steaming mug up for him to see. He'd been so focused on her eyes that he hadn't noticed the cup in her hand. "Want some?"

"No. I'll probably catch something." He sneered slightly, the reaction automatic at being offered to share a drink with a virtual stranger. Rose might've been here for a bit but he had no idea what she truly got up to in that tower. And if there were any truth to those rumors -

"What? A sense of humor? You could use it. Lighten up, Reg." Maddie took a sip of her hot coffee, sighing in satisfaction a second later.

"Is it at least decaf? You'll be up the entire night if not." He scolded, thinking of how his mother had drilled this into him when he began drinking the strong caffeinated drink.

Rose rolled her eyes, turning on her heel to walk down the hall. Regulus fell in step beside her, determined to make sure she returned to her common room in one piece. The idea of her wandering the halls late at night, alone, made his skin crawl. Especially with the knowledge that not everyone found the violent little twit as entertaining as he did. "You sound like Lily. If I'm not properly caffeinated, I become a danger to others."

"I doubt coffee makes a difference in how dangerous you are." He replied dryly. Clearly the girl had been around his brother too much, the arrogance was almost palpable. "Apparently Lucius is still whining about your right hook."

She tilted her towards him with surprise. "Really?"

"Cissa is ready to find a permanent silencing charm. Or possibly cut his tongue out. She's still deciding." Rose's nose scrunched up at the gory possibility.

"I would ask if she was serious but from what I've heard, that's an actual option with your family." She shivered dramatically. He rolled his eyes at her obvious disgust. Potters were too soft and it would be to her disadvantage when she entered the real world. "Purebloods. You guys are nuts."

Regulus turned towards her in confusion. Rose had her head facing forward as she took a sip from her mug, missing his look. She was a Potter, one of the oldest Pureblood lines in the country, blood traitors for generations, but surely - "Aren't you Pureblood?"

She smirked over at him and raised her bisected eyebrow. "Halfblood. My mom's James' aunt. My dad's muggle." A laugh rang out when his own face scrunched up at the information. She elbowed him softly and he flinched slightly at the contact. "What? You're too good for me now that you know I'm a Halfblood?"

He hadn't meant to flinch, it was more over the unexpected friendly contact than the news that she was Halfblood but he could see the challenging way she was watching him now, daring him to say something insulting. Smoothing out his face, he acted as though it hadn't happened. "I'm always too good for you, Rose. Even if you were a Pureblood."

She snorted into her mug as she took another sip, the liquid halfway gone. "Did your parents train the two of you to be full of yourselves or is it a genetic trait?"

"I'm naturally full of myself." He lobbed back, unable to stop himself from smirking at her. "Hard not to be when you're this handsome."

This time she choked as she took a sip and had to pause in the hall to thump her chest. Clearing her throat, she pointed at him with a thin finger, about to retort but he cut her off swiftly, intent on actually getting something useful out of her. "Does you being here have something to do with you being Halfblood?"

A baffled look was quickly replaced by one of wariness. She quickly began walking again and avoided his gaze. Maddie answered him curtly, sparking his curiosity. "No."

"Come on, Rose. You can tell me. Promise not to leak the secret to the press." He jogged the few feet she had gained, her lips remained pursed, refusing to answer him. "It's not as if you're under an Unbreakable Vow." Regulus joked. The silence that met him caused him to stop walking and turn to face her. Rose halted with him, an odd look on her face. The stillness in her saying more than words. An Unbreakable Vow. This girl, this twig of a girl with no common sense, was under an Unbreakable Vow. He'd only heard Mother mention the spell, to make one was one of the most dangerous things to do. One slip up and you forfeited your life to the spell. Only desperate or deranged wizards and witches used it. "You are, aren't you? Merlin, what did you do in the States?"

"Nothing." Rose muttered, not meeting his eyes. Turning, she continued down the hall once again, doing her best to end the conversation. "I need more coffee."

Regulus caught up to her easily. He had to bite his lip to not bring up the Vow but couldn't help glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. She nervously picked her lip, pulling at pieces of skin. A disgusting habit but one she didn't seem aware of at the moment.

He thought over their conversations. The only significant subjects they'd discussed were him spying on her and - "Voldemort."

Her wide brown eyes met his as she abruptly stopped, her voice laced with warning. Her dog turned around again to watch them impatiently. "Reg, drop it."

"He doesn't even know about you. Bella would've been more persistent if -"

"Drop it." Rose hissed, eyes darting around them. Her finger pushed against his chest, eyes burning with intensity and she stared him down. "What part of Unbreakable Vow did you miss? I kind of enjoy living so do me a favor and drop it."

Salathzar's saggy balls, Reg needed to shag someone. Rose threatening him should not be so - so -

"You're staring. Jesus, what is it with you Blacks and staring?" She huffed, throwing one hand up in frustration. Spinning sharply on her heel, she stormed off in the direction of the kitchens. Reg followed a step behind, a bit amused at the way she threw her shoulders back, trying to radiate a nonchalant attitude.

It wasn't working.

" 'You Blacks'. I'm not my brother." He scoffed, slipping in behind her as she entered the warm kitchens.

"You remind me of him a lot." She walked swiftly between the house elves, ignoring their offers of treats. Grabbing a full carafe on one of the counters, she poured a healthy amount of coffee into her mug then snatched a second mug, filling it just as high. Without adding sugar or cream, Rose handed him the second cup and swept past him. "It's a good thing."

"Most would disagree." He muttered, sipping the hot beverage lightly. The dark drink tasted intense without sugar or cream to cut it. "Merlin, how do you drink this?"

"Years and years of practice." She grinned, talking a large gulp herself. "It's better without all that junk, it was meant to be savored not -"

"Mucked up with sugar?" He finished, a bit stunned at the similar view she had as his brother. What felt like eons ago but had only been about two years, he and Sirius had been in the kitchens, alone for once. When Sirius saw Regulus pouring not only a good helping of cream but also three spoonfuls of sugar, he'd taken to instructing Regulus on how to properly prepare the drink. They'd argued light-heartedly about it for over an hour.

Then Mother walked in.

It was one of the last pleasant conversations he'd had with his brother before he'd left. And the last time he'd drunk coffee.

Until now.

"Exactly!" Rose exclaimed. She was practically bouncing on her toes as they walked towards the Gryffindor tower, the first cup of coffee kicking in. It was odd though, the excitement felt...off. Like she was forcing herself to be cheerful and engaged in their conversation. "You lose the essence of coffee by adding in all of that nonsense. I have a theory that you can tell how good someone is at sex by what coffee they drink."

This time Regulus choked on his drink. "Pardon?"

Rose waved her hand in front of her wildly. "Now, I can't prove my theory because I haven't tested it but hear me out. Those people who drink the froofy, foamy high-maintenance three pumps of mocha no soy bullshit are people who think they're amazing at sex when in reality they're lazy and don't try, ending up as a disappointment most of the time but their partners rarely tell them the truth because they're hot."

Regulus blinked slowly, trying to find at least one thing the nutter had said that made sense but failed. She took his silence as a cue to continue.

"The ones who drink frap - well, the super sugary drinks, essentially a milkshake, are ones who are too enthusiastic and end up finishing entirely too fast." Rose did not just - "Cream and sugar people, regardless of how much they use, are good at sex, not phenomenal but steady, reliable, and mostly vanilla type sex."

He hummed, at least glad that he wasn't someone who finished entirely too early based on Rose's theory. "And people who drink their coffee black?"

Regulus brought the cup to his mouth as she answered, the scent filling his nose pleasantly. "Oh, they're kinky motherfuckers who are addicted to sex."

Coffee sprayed from his mouth, some going up his nose. Coughing, he wiped his mouth and turned to find Rose practically pissing herself laughing. "You're full of shite."

Gasping, she straightened up, clutching her side. "You should've seen your face. Oh, that was priceless. I should've taped that. Addicted to sex."

She fell into another round of laughter, covering her mouth as a snort escaped. Merlin, this bird was off her rocker. "Are you normally this crude or am I the only one who gets this privilege?"

"Nah, you're not that special, snowflake." Rose said the strangest things. It was jarring having a girl be so lewd. The majority of birds he had interactions with were either related to him, hitting on him, or both. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing they were only a few feet from the entrance to the tower. Slamming back the rest of her coffee, she handed the mug to Regulus who automatically took it but gave her a questioning look. "Lily doesn't like me drinking coffee before bed. I already don't sleep and the coffee probably doesn't help. Also something about irritability. She had a whole laundry list of ways I was destroying myself."

"Not surprised. You seem like someone intent on doing as much damage as possible, either to yourself or others." Regulus said with amusement.

"That's...a little too on the nose, I think." Her nose scrunched up, moving her glasses up then down. "Well, thank you for not giving me detention, Reg."

"Any time, Rose."

He turned to head back towards the Slytherin common rooms when she called out behind him. "Oh and Reg?" He spun to see her grinning mischievously. "Let me know when you're at the black coffee level. I could find you someone to test my theory with."

A slight blush tainted his cheeks at the comment but before he could respond, her laugh was cut off by the portrait door shutting. Bloody mental, that one.

———

My laugh cut off as I felt Sirius stand. Shit. I'd spent about an hour wandering the halls before stumbling onto Reg and had finally felt calmer. Not better but more settled than I'd been early in the night. Being an asshole to Reg had helped.

Except when he'd been prying for information.

Dick.

Now a wave of anxiety came rushing back knowing I'd have to explain what had happened to Sirius. There was no way around it.

Fuck.

Tux had sprinted ahead of me, straight to Sirius I assumed. I couldn't see them but Tux had become as attached to Sirius as I had over the last couple of months. Sirius stayed on the couch, waiting for me to walk out of the portrait hole. Every nerve in my body felt attuned to his movements. Biting my lip, I shoved down the nauseousness and walked calmly out of the small tunnel.

The fireplace burned steadily behind his graceful figure, lighting his silhouette so it was glowing softly. My breath caught in my throat at the sight. God, he was so beautiful. I'd never met anyone as captivating as him and that was the only way to describe him. I could see the tattoo poking out of the rumpled uniform, the sleeves pushed up to reveal his strong forearms. And those hands -

"Love." I inhaled at the name, my heart clenching. His head inclined to the right, watching me carefully. One hand rested on Tux's head and the other was in his pocket. "Rough night?"

Swallowing, I nodded. Unsure of how to start my explanation, I awkwardly joined him on the couch. His hand gently took a hold of mine, tugging me down as he sat on the cushions. I collapsed next to him, pulling my legs beneath me, still clutching his hand. Immediately, he began rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand. The motion soothing out a bit of tension I felt.

"I had a panic attack." I whispered quietly, keeping my focus on the movement of his thumb. I didn't want to see his reaction, see his pity. I hated my panic attacks, the complete loss of control, the way I couldn't seem to get air when it was such a natural part of being human. They made me feel stupid, weak. "Sorry, you have to feel that second hand."

"Don't apologize, love." Even his voice was comforting. The low timber of it was like a running river or waves at the beach. Steady and soothing. "I would've tracked you down but Moons and Worm headed into Hogsmeade. Moony's unusually low on his chocolate supply and if there's not enough sugar in his system before the full moon, he's a right prat."

A smile crept onto my face thinking of Remus's sass the past few days. He had seemed a little snarkier than usual. Worrying my low lip with my teeth, I glanced up to see his attention on our hands in my lap. "You say that like he's not normally a prat."

Sirius tilted his head up, a small grin on his lips. "Love, don't take this the wrong way but the way you say prat sounds...very American."

"Prat?" I asked, confused on how I was saying it wrong. I said it exactly how he had.

"Prat." He repeated, his British accent unable to hide his amusement.

"Prat." I tried again, still not hearing my mistake.

"Prat." The a a bit harder than the other sounds.

Frowning, I repeated him again. "Prat."

"Maybe stick to your American insults. Even if you say arse wrong, too." My jaw dropped slightly at the comment. Using my free hand, I smacked his shoulder with the back of it.

"I do not. That's how you're supposed to say." I argued. "Ass."

"Arse."

"Ass."

"Still arse." The tip of my tongue pushed against my upper tooth at his insistence. My earlier anxiety had melted away and it hit me that he was doing this on purpose, riling me up with something dumb to get me to relax. And it worked. My throat felt tight as the realization came over me.

He didn't deserve this. Getting stuck with a complete mess like me.

Those gray eyes watched me intently, searching in a way that should've felt intrusive but instead felt welcome. "Did you want to talk about what caused it?"

Pressing my lips together hard, I shook my head. How could I possibly explain what had caused my attack? The trigger being him.

"Alright." He nodded, accepting my avoidance. And I was so incredibly grateful for that acceptance. The last thing I wanted to talk about was how messed up I truly was. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Help. He wanted to help. How was he so - so - amazing? Most people that had seen my panic attacks, my mom, my sisters, Emmy, had assumed they knew what I needed. Whether that be unsolicited hugging, too much hovering, or, in Emmy's case, trying to make me feel better by dragging me to get milkshakes. They meant well, really they did. I had appreciated McGonagall forcing tea on me earlier but in the end, I really just wanted to forget that the attack had happened in the first place.

And Sirius making fun of the way I said curse words was the perfect way to do that. "You already did. Thank you."

He raised an eyebrow but let it go, continuing to move the pad of his thumb in circles. "If you're sure, lov -"

The common room door clicked open. We turned slightly to see Remus and Peter climbing through the hole, ladened with boxes of candy. My eyes flew open at how much they were carrying. "Did you guys steal all of that?"

Peter shook his head adamantly. "No, left the money in the till like we normally do. Ambrosius doesn't mind as long as we don't wake up his wife."

"Last time, she almost hexed Worm through the window." Remus added, walking around to join us. He dumped the lot on the table then fell back into his armchair. Remus gave me a second glance, eyeing my face carefully. Reaching over the table where Peter had just added to the hoard, he snatched a chocolate frog and tossed it towards me. I swiftly caught it with my free hand, not yet ready to let go of Sirius just yet.

"Maybe later," I replied, turning the box over to inspect it. I hadn't eaten one yet but wasn't in the mood to try and catch my treat. "Wait, where's Jamie?"

"Prefect rounds." Sirius answered, catching a fizzing whizbee Peter tossed towards him. Taking a bite of the buzzing candy, he handed me the second half which I popped in my mouth. Remus, the observant shit that he is, only gave me an amused look.

"With Lily." Peter added, rolling his eyes. Sirius and Remus copied the gesture, knowing that their friend would be waxing poetry once again when he returned.

And Lily would either be pissy or in a daze. It was hard to tell how she would be after spending time with my cousin lately. I guess it all depended on what Jamie did and if it touched a nerve. If only she would admit she was falling for the idiot. "Which means I'm going to bed. Goodnight, good luck, if you kill him, don't leave any evidence."

"Thank you for your blessing, love. Promise to scourgify all the blood." Sirius replied, squeezing my hand before letting me go. I gave him a grateful smile as I stood, hoping he could feel how thankful I was through the bond that he hadn't brought up my attack.

"You barely scourgify your bed." Peter joked, throwing a jellybean into the air then catching it in his mouth.

"Pot," I pointed at Peter who looked up at me with wide eyes then turned my finger towards Sirius who gave me an amused eyebrow. "Meet kettle."

Remus chuckled, unwrapping another Chocolate Frog which he promptly uncharmed to stop moving. I winked at him, throwing a wave goodnight at the boys then stepped up the staircase. I slowed to a stop, Tux bumping my leg as he passed me in the stairwell.

Turning back, unseen by the three boys, I watched them for a moment, my heart in my throat. Sirius had his head tilted back, barking in laughter. Remus, gesturing as he talked, was practically beaming with that smile. And Peter...a cold feeling slithered down my spine as I found blue eyes watching me.

He quickly averted his gaze, adding something to the conversation that made both of the other boys laugh. The sound of the portrait door opening jolted me out of diving deeper into that little moment. Spinning on my heel, I took the stairs two at a time. When I reached the dorm, Mar and Ali were already in bed and asleep, I threw myself into my own. Tux hopped up, making himself comfortable.

Biting my lip, I waited for Lily to enter and tried to even out my breathing. If she saw me now, she'd know that something was up and want to talk about it. The exact opposite of what I wanted right now. Even if I was curious about how prefect duty went, I wasn't ready to open up about my panic attack just yet.

The door creaked open and though I couldn't see her, I could picture her redhead peeking in to see if anyone was up. Tiptoeing quietly, she went right towards the bathroom.

Humming.

A smile spread on my face as I pulled my comforter up higher. At least that part of the future seemed promising.