There are those who say that sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted. Take the tale of the lion and the mouse. The lion, who was so grateful to the mouse for pulling the thorn form his paw, was completely caught off gaurd when the cute and friendly mouse darted below his furred belly, climbed his back paw, and stabbed him repeatedly in the femoral artery with that same thorn. The lion died within minutes and provided a feast which fed the mouse and his pack for several weeks. The lion, who was so blinded by pain, had mistakenly wandered far from home and into the territory of the vicious and carnivorous Spotted Grendoli, which should be avoided at all costs. It is a mistake never made twice.

"Assholes!" Jezeren muttered to herself while stripping down to her undergarments in the chilly and dimly lit room of the overpriced Blind Raven Inn. The unending rain slipped here and there through the badly thatched roof as a reminder that it didn't plan to leave any time soon.

Jezeren plopped herself onto the bed and stewed while trying to sooth the goosebumps from her flesh. "We need you sober for this, Jezeren," she said in a mocking tone. "You can't hold your alcohol, Jezeren. Last night you had two ales and made a guy eat his own fist, Jezeren."

"You know we can hear you," said a voice from the nearby wardrobe. Jezeren marched over and gave it a good solid kick, which didn't at all have the effect she hoped for, but she managed to keep her squeak of pain inaudible.

"So what? You're the ones not nobody should hear. You bastards owe me after this. I swear we do this plan like...seventy percent of the time. I think you two just like putting me in this situation for your own sick amusement. Now shut the hell up. I hear footsteps."

As the footsteps outside grew louder, a light grew brighter underneath the door crack. Nobody walked the halls of the Blind Raven without plenty a candle or torch. The Blind Raven had a reputation for being disreputable, and you never knew when someone might try to rob or murder you, but it was more likely you might get an errant nail through your boot due to dilapidated state of the establishment, which people feared far more than being accosted. You never knew what you might catch in a place like this.

Jezeren assumed her most come hither expression after a light rap on the door—something she'd had, and needed plenty of practice with. Trying to appear desirable was not generally on her list of priorities. She leaned back on the bed with one crossed leg gently bobbing up and down. "Come in," she said, while forcing a playful smile.

The man's aroma entered a half a minute before him. Araz the Bastard Butcher. He was tall, and dark, but far from handsome, with a stench that would make maggots vomit. He was clothed in thick leather garments, that might have been black but was probably so soiled it could have been any color. His damn, long and stringy black hair concealed half of his face, but unfortunately not the side that was missing an eyeball.

You could at least get an eyepatch or a glass eye, Jezeren thought to herself. Who walks around with a blasted festering pit on their face like that?

She fought hard not to wretch, and in fact, did exactly the opposite. She jumped to her feet, grabbed his greasy black hair and planted a hard kiss on his thin, cracked lips.

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Delicious cake. Sweet flowers. A soothing bath in boiling lava.

She released her grip and took a step back to discover there was a cavernous pit on his face even more disgusting than his eyeless socket—his smile. Black, cracked, and missing teeth lined his crooked mouth while tried and failed to mimic the expression of pleasure. Araz wasted no time removing his garments before pushing Jezeren onto the creaking bed. Without the heaps of leather covering his frame, the man looked like a skeleton normal skeletons would call skinny. Jezeren knew better. The man may look like he'd collapse to dust with a medium gust of wind, but he was more dangerous than a bag full of vipers, and regardless of her pride in her own abilities, he still made even her nervous. Being nearly naked an exposed did little to help. All she needed was a few more moments.

He mounted Jezeren and gave a sneer, which Jezeren assumed he believed to be an expression of seduction. "I think yer just about ready fer me, wench," he said.

"Oh, give it to me." Scrubbing my flesh off...tickle fight with scorpions...smelling Vido's socks...all better than this.

"Oh, I'm gonna give it to ya, wench, but see, here's the thing."

Jezeren could feel the frigid steel of a boot dagger pressed against her neck. She wasn't sure when it got there and where the man got it from, but damn he was quick.

"See, I know who you are, and I know why yer here. So whatever plans ya had you can throw out the window. I'm gonna get what I want, and it's up to you whether yer to be alive for it, or dead. It makes no difference t'me."

Jezeren kept her breathing slow and steady. It's not the first time, or even the hundredth time her life had been threatened, but experience never kept then nerves at bay. That was called fortitude.

"I think I'd prefer to live, but you'd better make it quick," she said with a devious smile. "Three...two...one."

The man's satisfied expression changed to shock when his muscles suddenly seized up, paralyzing every muscle in his body. Jezeren wasted no time pushing him off of her and to the floor, where his rigid body hit with a thud like a piece of petrified wood.

Jezeren jumped out of the bed and pulled her boots on before waking over to the man's body to give it a nice hard kick. She wouldn't make that mistake again. She then turned to the sound of staggering coming from the wardrobe, stomped over, and threw open the doors. Ajax and Vido sat at the bottom with their hands over their mouths trying to stifle laughter. Jezeren spied a bottle of rum between Ajax's legs.

"You jackass!" She grabbed the bottle, pulled the cork, and emptied it in one long swig, before tossing it over her shoulder where it came to rest next to Araz's body.

"Glad you didn't put anything else on before you came to see us," Ajax said, with a sleazy grin.

Jezeren's eyes narrowed.

Ajax's eyes went wide, then shut when Jezeren began laying her boots into his face and chest.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay! I get it! Back off!" He lowered his hands from his face when the boots quick flying. "Why aren't you hitting him?" He asked, pointing to Vido. "He was laughing too."

"Because that little green bastard and his wax sealant concoction is the only thing that stops this lip paint from affecting me the way it did super aggro lover over there.

"It helps to be useful," Vido said, with a toothy, proud smile.

Ajax slapped Vido in the back of the head. "Well you can be useful again by bundling Mr. Handsy up while I get the horses so's we can sneak him out a back window. Ajax strode over to Nadi who was standing over the stone statue of Araz.

"Jezeren stared at his body, but her thoughts weren't about him. "We're never doing this plan again."

"I know." Ajax replied.

"No. You say I know every time, but this time I mean it. You want to do this plan again, then you're doing it. I don't care how much we have to pluck and shave every hair on your body."

"Why me?"

"Because not me, and I don't care how pretty we make Vido, I don't think anyone is going to be seduced by a three foot tall green woman with giant ears."
"You'd be surprised."

"Hey uh...guys?" Vido said while staring out the window. "I know we've been in this town before but uh...are we heroes or outlaws here?"

Jezeren and Ajax's brows furrowed as each tried to recall the last time they'd been through this area.

"We're...yeah...we're heroes here. Right? Yeah...no. Wait. Oop! I remember now. We stole almost everything from Duke who controls this town. Yup. We're outlaws.

"Riiiiiiiiiiight. In that case, we're gonna want to move immediately."

Vido's companions joined him at the window. A group of at least twenty torch wielding townsfolk surrounded the inn, while the main in charge, possibly the Duke, pointed directly at their window.

"Oh, damn," said the three in unison.