"On three!" A male voice shouts.

"One!" Another announces.

"Two..." A pair of hands presses down on her chest.

Sometimes it's safer to focus on everything else, to focus on the "certified" paramedics that are trying too hard to wake up someone that is very much awake and not laugh in the process. On how Victor relentlessly shook her to the extent of almost giving her a damn seizure until her saviour also known as the ambulance arrived. How Becca had showed up crying as if she was already dead. How lucky she is that her daughter is still at school and didn't have to bear witness of this, at least not yet, hopefully, she'll be awake by the time she gets back.
And most importantly, focusing on how Theo stayed in her room the whole time but showed up a few minutes after Victor excused himself to make a few phone calls. It was almost as if he was avoiding Victor. But they didn't know each other, then again, Scarlet couldn't be so sure.

And the way Theo clasped her fingers in his, the way he touched and kissed her face, her forehead. Like she were delicate, like she would've broken if he had touched her any harder. Or that she would've disappeared if he let go. And then, the things he kept saying, the confusing things he whispered in her ears; how she was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, inside out. That was totally laughable, considering he's seen Ivy.

-That she shouldn't leave him, yet she isn't with him in the first place.
-That he has a lot of things to say, to tell her, those she can't wait to hear. Of course.

-That he's sorry, much to Scarlet's consternation. What could he be sorry for? Rushing to her after thirty minutes of unconsciousness? Showing up at her door with a stab wound and refusing to tell her why he was stabbed? "I'll explain," he had said. "When I'm ready that is."
Scarlet doesn't really care about that though. At least, not now.

-And that she should hold on to her life, which doesn't really require much effort considering she has been wide awake the whole time.

It's much much safer to focus on the way her damn eyes can't open. It's like a survival instinct, a defence mechanism that kicks in to protect and keep her mind from thinking about the terrifying side of reality.

Like what the fuck just happened to her.

Yeah, so much for not thinking about it.

She is unsure of what exactly happened but she wasn't asleep, she didn't pass out. Maybe dumb does catch up with her sometimes, but even she can tell that though her eyes were somehow sealed shut, she was awake. Very much so.

And that, it was anything but a dream, for even if her eyes are closed, you can't dream with your mind's eyes open. It was almost as if someone had subconsciously held her by the hand, led her there, to that place. The place she would never have gone willingly. And made her watch, made her feel as the girl went through everything. For those long agonising minutes, she had worn that girl's body, every breath, every touch, every move the girl made, Scarlet was right there; feeling everything with her. She had felt the prickling coldness of the linoleum floor as the girl lay on it, the sweat, the punches, each and every one of them. And she also felt it, that pain, the bullet ripping through the girl's thigh, tearing her insides apart. But that girl was so strong, too strong she barely made a sound. Yet, it was all Scarlet could do not to scream in pain. It was as if in that moment, they'd been one person. Which they definitely aren't. Obviously.

Because that girl was not her. She was not Scarlet.

Wasn't she? Of course she wasn't.

Those, those were not memories. And if they were, they were not her memories. They just couldn't be! And God would she give anything not to feel that way again!

There's so much going through her mind that Scarlet barely notices as her eyelids become heavy, her brain finally starting to give in to drowning into the deep black pits of unconsciousness.

It's for the better. Scarlet tells herself. Unconscious is good, unconscious is less terrifying.

But even as she does, Scarlet knows there's only so much she can do deceive her mind, to deceive herself.

Because that girl, she was her. She was so her. And that alone scares her to death. Because if she was, she killed someone, she killed a person; a boy. She couldn't have? Could she?
                                                   ...

"Scarlet."

Of course when she wakes up, Scarlet is laying on a hospital bed, wrapped up in baby blue bedsheets and wearing a white, with black dots hospital gown.

And of course, the first thing she hears when she wakes up is Theo's voice, saying her name like it's the prayer that God will undoubtedly answer, like it's the medicine that's going to heal her, get her up from the hospital bed she's laying on at moment. And in an explicable way, it does.

This is the second time Scarlet wakes from unconsciousness to Theo's face, Theo's beautiful face, waiting on her. Maybe it's wrong to feel this way, but in her mind, Scarlet knows she wouldn't mind waking up to him every day.

Yeah, it's okay to dream after all.

"Hey," she says, not feeling any sign of being sick in her body. Good, she thinks. "Can we go now?" she asks, "I'm feeling great, and I honestly don't want Celine to come and find me like this. She'll get freaked out."

Theo nods in understanding, silently reassuring her that she hasn't been out for long, so her baby hasn't found out yet. "I know," he says. Getting up from the seat, he reaches over and places a palm on Scarlet's forehead. Scarlet struggles to keep her self from shuddering when his soft but calloused fingers touch her. God! When and how did she become this pathetic? Or has she always been? She frowns. "You're okay," Theo says, floods of relief rolling around his voice. What does he mean she's okay? For all she knows, she has been okay the whole time. Then again, that's been classified information, known exclusively by her brain. But he's touching her like he's checking for a fever or something. Scarlet hasn't felt feverish in any way. It was only the migraine, but it also came and left.

"You were sweating and writhing in your slee...well, unconsciousness," Theo explains.

"Oh?" Shit! Could you be more discreet Greene, why don't you just start sleep walking?

"Yeah, I had to call the doctor," He admits, rubbing the back of his neck, as if what he did is embarrassing. Scarlet raises an amused eyebrow. "I was scared okay? You looked...troubled, possessed!" he defends. A shudder runs through Scarlet's body. "Besides, I had no idea what else to do, it's not like I've ever taken care of a sick person before."

"Oh," Scarlet says, despite wanting to remind him that he has.

"I know," he sighs as if reading right through her.
"Yeah..that was my first time. Besides, may I remind you that you weren't exactly "sick"? And God did I want to leave!" He briefly closes his eyes, then runs a palm over his face.
"But...It's just, I just...I couldn't leave..." almost unconsciously, he shakes his head, as if trying to shake the memory away. "I just...after finding you like that, the blood..." his eyes widen as he realises something, the same thing Scarlet realises. She remembers pretty well what he told her that day, "I'm the guy whose bike hit you," and now... now he's saying he just found... Scarlet's phone goes off, signalling an incoming call. She picks it up, her eyes only leaving his long enough to glance at the screen, revealing an unknown number. She answers it as she looks back at Theo, who is now fumbling with his phone like it's the most intriguing thing in the world.

"Hello?" Scarlet asks into the phone.

"Bee? Thank god! I was worried sick! When did you wake?" Victor asks.

"Hey Vic," she says. "Not long actually, but I feel great. I think I'm good to go."

"Well then I'll come and work on your discharge papers so we can get you---"

"Actually," Scarlet cuts him off. "Don't bother yourself. Someone else is going to help me with that."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, but thanks Uncle Vic,"

"Actually no, I'm coming over there, I need to see for myself that you're okay. Besides, I had come because I have a proposal for you."

"Oh!"

"Yes Bee," he chuckles. "I can already see the questions stirring behind the wheels of that block head of yours. But we'll talk about it later, now get some rest and tell your friend to wait for me."

"Okay bye, don't worry, he'll be here." Scarlet hangs up and plops back down onto the pillow, it smells like a mixture of medicine and a thousand different illnesses, making her want to throw up.

Ugh! She hates hospitals!

"No!" Theo states in a firm voice.

Oh hi there!  For a second there she had forgotten about him.

"What?" she asks.

"I'm not going to be here when he comes, matter of fact I'm leaving." He walks over to the bed, rests a palm on Scarlet's shoulder and kisses her on the forehead. Scarlet closes her eyes, and for a split second she might have thought he lingered, but he didn't. Of course he didn't. It's just that every damn time he even comes into close proximity, her mind either goes into overdrive or time just slows the fuck down. She so doesn't like it!
When the side of the bed creaks, Theo's hands move so fast, grasping Scarlet tightly just under her arms, above her waist, holding her in place. Like a delicious tearing, a stupid tingling ripples through Scarlet's skin, one she makes sure she ignores properly. The hell?!

Theo must have thought she was going to fall, just like she did because Scarlet whips her head around so fast, wanting to look at where the bed just creaked but with Theo so close, his lips end up brushing the corner of Scarlet's. Time freezes, Scarlet's heart jumps her throat, it's loud pounding crowding and taking over every one of her senses. She suddenly learns how difficult it can get to breathe.

They nearly kissed!

Yes! Her subconscious agrees. By accident!

But...but she liked it...

Panicked, Theo tilts his head back a little and their eyes meet. He looks even more beautiful up close, there's a few bangs falling into his eyes, she fists the hospital bedsheets too hard to keep from reaching out, brushing them away, caressing his face, and chiselled jawline. Ever since he practically moved into her home, Theo hasn't shaved -it seems- the faint stubble gives him a more masculine look, setting him apart from his twin brother.
His eyes, God! His eyes, Scarlet could go on staring into those deep heavenly pits of blues and grays forever. She's suddenly extremely aware of both of their breathlessness, Scarlet from the almost-kiss she shamefully liked, and Theo from..well...his expression saying; disgusted, embarrassed... regretful.

Oh great...just great! The joy of liking someone who doesn't like you back!

A huge lump grows and settles in her throat, making her feel a sudden urge to cry. 

God! She needs to stop whatever it is that she feels for Theo, be it an attraction, a crush...a liking. Whatever, it needs to stop before it goes any further. Right now she may feel a need to cry, but at least she isn't. If she lets this go on, she may find herself either having sleepless nights, or crying herself to sleep. That, along with a broken heart. Because Theo doesn't like her. Not like that.

That aside, he is unattainable. He's like a beautiful paradise, but between her and said paradise, there stands a long and deep river, also known as Vivian Benniworth. And Scarlet can neither swim past nor find a bridge. Nor does she want to. She doesn't need this.

Maybe what she needs is Shirley. Yes.

Scarlet makes a mental note. Between her current life and haunting past, if she gets some space, she's going to have to squeeze Shirley in, he's the only one that can help her with this...thing...whatever it is she feels for Theo.

Yeah! Her subconscious agrees sacarstically. What you need is Shirley, not Han! Not at all, you don't need to know about your oh-so beautiful past...right?

Oh God! Theo has clouded her thoughts so much that she's even forgetting her priorities and thinking about starting a fucking relationship!

Theo suddenly breathes, his hot air fanning her face, making all thoughts of her seemingly delightful past fly out the window.

"Are you avoiding him, Theo?" Scarlet hears herself croak all of a sudden, out of breath. Disappointment in herself flutters in her chest but she's glad that at least, she's able to hear and think past the erratic beating of her heart from having him this close, his breath on her face, his lips-those lips that almost kissed her-barely an inch away...

Yeah, so much for stopping.

Theo sighs, pulling away. Scarlet fights back the need to sag in disappointment.
He gulps, then snorts.

Lies! She thinks.

"Why the hell would I avoid someone I don't even know Scarlet?" he asks in that bored tone.

No; what, Scarlet thinks again. Not even a; who are you talking about!

"I don't know..." she trails off, unsure of whether she has the right to question him in the first place.

"Well," he says gently. "I'm not avoiding anyone Scarlet. Please get some sleep as you wait for your uncle." He says the uncle word with subtly hidden distaste, but Scarlet does pick up on it. And With that, Theo opens the door and leaves.

Yeah, he's totally not hiding anything.