WHEN ALEXANDRA WAS THE RIPE age of thirteen, she had her heart broken for the first time. It was middle school, seventh grade, when she had her first school dance. Jason obviously took the most popular girl in class, and Alex was dead set on taking Hoyt.

It only made sense to her, that's what she saw in every romantic movie she had ever watched. The girl best friend always ends up with the guy who's always been there for her. Her best friend. When Maxine got wind of what Alex was planning to ask her precious baby boy, she convinced him to say no to Alexandra. The next day at school when Alexandra asked him to the dance, he broke her heart by telling her he didn't want to go with her. He ended up taking Ashley Carter, the Jesus thumping freak who lived beside him at the time.

When Alexandra ran home crying, Adele sat her down and explained that heartbreak is natural. It was how the world turned on its axis, it was how life was in general. Full of heartbreak. Adele also explained to her that she was going to go through a ton of it, but when she found the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life with, it was all gonna be okay.

That's what got Alexandra through all of the tough times, Adele's voice stayed in the back of her head. This time however, Alexandra didn't think that tiny voice was going to cut it. She desperately wished that her grandmother was still alive, because she would understand the circumstances.

Alex and Eric hadn't talked about their future together, but it felt like they were going to be together for a long time. She had never considered the fact that he might've been what the media made vampires out to be and what Bill Compton made him out to be. A monster. Alex had even thought about the possibility of her being able to live forever with him, walking along his side until the end of time. It was just wishful thinking, seeing as though, she didn't think she could ever be able to drink human blood or get her infamous tan in the light of the moon.

The breakup hit the hardest when Alex went home to an empty house, while the moonlight was still spilling in from her window. Any other time, she and Eric would be lying in bed, discussing their past or taking fun pictures on her camera. He was always a different person around her, someone sweet and even silly.

She desperately wanted the sweet burn of an alcoholic drink to slide down her throat and numb her pain. Even a drop would have sufficed, but she was quitting cold turkey. As she laid in her bed after a long shower she decided against going through her phone and deleting pictures and text messages, she knew it would only hurt her more. Her only option was to try and sleep it off, which she knew very well she couldn't.

Her mind was centered around Eric Northman and what could have been.

-

The plane ride to Dallas was very short in time, but to Alexandra it seemed like hours. The fear of flying completely set in and seeing Sookie drink herself silly with tiny bottles of booze wasn't helping in the slightest. She knew her sister was just trying to have a good time and not be nervous on the plane, but being around opened bottles in such a small area was hard for Alex.

Alex wasn't ready to face Eric, she had done nothing but think of him since the incident happened. Her head was swirling soberly, and that was extremely dangerous for the blonde in her state. Before she got too lost in thought, the flight attendant told them they were landing. Alex ripped off her seat belt, steadying herself before locking eyes with Sookie who was even more bubbly as when they left.

"Yoohoo!" Sookie hollered at the limo driver who was holding up a cardboard sign that read Compton Party. She ripped away from her older sister, running down the stairs and over to the man who seemed uncomfortable.

"Damn it, Sookie." Alexandra mumbled, losing her balance on the stairs due to her wobbly legs from her first plane ride. Her nerves were shot already, falling down the jets stairs was the tip of the iceberg. Alexandra hissed as her shoulder connected with the hard concrete floor. She looked around, making sure no one saw her accident. She finally made it over to Sookie, who was talking to the man who was holding up the sign. His eyes were focused behind them, where the workers were unloading Jessica and Bill's travel coffins.

"Why don't y'all go wait in the limo, I got the AC cranked up?" He looked uncomfortable as he shifted his gaze back to the girls, giving them a small smile. Sookie giggled as Alex brushed herself off, "no thanks, we're fine."

"Oh no, go on! There's cokes in there!" He exclaimed, chuckling with the same uneasiness as before. Alex raised her eyebrows, getting ready to come up with a smart ass remark. As soon as she went to open up her mouth he grabbed both of their arms.

"I don't like coke, dumbass!" Alexandra elbowed him in the nose with her free arm, making him back away from the girls with his hand over the middle of his face. Before the blonde could let out anymore of her pent up anger, her and Sookie were pushed back and Bill was holding the bald man up by his suit collar.

"Make a noise and it'll be your last!" He threatened, his fangs dropping down. Alex rubbed her elbow, trying to soothe it after the hard blow. A loud bang echoed through the terminal and they all looked over, seeing the unopened travel coffin shake.

"How the hell do I get out of here?" Jessica snapped, still struggling against the travel coffin.

-

It was a long limo ride to Hotel Carmilla, which involved talk of who was trying to take Alex and Sookie. Alexandra would've peeked in his head but Bill had her beat, glamoring him to stay calm before they had even left the airport.

As they walked into the glamourous hotel, Sookie and Bill had volunteered to check them all in, which left Alexandra sitting beside Jessica who was having a ball with the limo driver. So far, she had convinced him to give up his cell phone, and make him think that all his worst fears were going to come true. Alex honestly couldn't have cared less, she was actually pretty amused with the situation or she would've put a stop to it.

"Unless, you scream at the top of your lungs," Jessica grinned, looking to Alex who raised her brows. The redhead cuffed his ear and whispered, giggling to herself.

The blonde's lips quirked into an entertained smirk which quickly escalated into full blown cackling as the man screamed out, "Becky Eubanks is a stuck up whore who let Chase finger her in church!"

"Jessica!" Bill turned to her, his eyebrows raised in shock as Sookie grinned at Alex who was wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. She was glad to finally see her sister smile, even if it was from the situation before them.

Sometime later, before Alex had even got a chance to check out her room, Sookie and Bill dragged her to their suite along with the driver, Leon. Jessica had completely fucked up his mental state, she didn't even have the courtesy to fix him before she ran to her room with his stolen cell phone.

Bill coaxed him through his fearfulness and let Alexandra look into his brain. The only thing she could find is that he was hired over the phone by The Fellowship of The Sun. She had immediately recognized the name from the late night news channel debates she watched on an unhealthy regular basis. Steve Newlin. An egotistical 'christian' man with a wife as smooth and blonde as banana pudding.

Soon, Bill disposed of Leon, glamouring him into going back to wherever the hell he came from. Alexandra's brain was foggy, glazed over from all of the intrusive thoughts that had snuck into her mind from last night. She glanced at Sookie who had settled on the couch, "I think I'm just gonna go to my room, take a hot shower. We got a hell of a day comin' tomorrow." She patted her suitcase with a tight lipped smile and hopped up from her place on the ottoman.

The corners of Sookie's lips tugged downward, "are you alright? I know you're hurtin' Al, maybe we could kick Bill out and talk? We really haven't had the chance all day." The proposition wasn't tempting at all, but Alexandra chewed on her bottom lip trying to decide if she should humor her younger sister.

"No, I'll be fine. Maybe tomorrow night?" Alex tugged on the handle of her suitcase and gave Bill a slight nod as she walked out of the door, silently strolling down the hall until she stopped in front of her room. She halted in her tracks as she opened the door, seeing Eric standing in front of a decorative mirror on the wall. He flattened out his hair, making himself presentable.

Alexandra was frozen, her mouth slightly agape as she stared at him. The anger the was pulsating through her came to a dull stop. Seeing him just made her hurt. It was like someone pulled off the warm heated blanket that was wrapped around her heart and left it to dry up in the freezing cold. The thump of her heart rate echoed through her eardrums and she was sure even a human could've heard it.

Eric sucked in his cheeks as he glanced up, seeing the look on her face. He knew it would've been a shitty idea for him to still keep them in the same room together, and it's not like he couldn't afford to get another one. He just needed to see her, be near her, maybe touch her. In the mere hours they spent apart, it felt like a lifetime for him. The attachment was something he definitely took for granted. Not being able to walk over and shove her against the wall to give her the most emotive, powerful kiss he had ever given anyone before was killing him.

"What are you doing in my room?" Alex had finally gained the confidence to talk, and it even surprised her by how cold her tone came out. She dropped the handle of her suitcase and let it hit the floor as she closed the door. He quirked an eyebrow up as she made her way to the mini fridge, grabbing two tiny bottles of alcohol.

"I thought you were taking a break from being a part time alcoholic?" A ghost of a smile appeared on his face as he blatantly ignored her question. He referenced her words from one of the first nights they met, hoping that it would induce a spark somewhere in her mind. Alexandra bit down on her cheek, trying to ignore the pang in her chest as he spoke. She knew it was an irresponsible thing to do, but the urge to let her mind go numb was so strong she couldn't handle it.

Her hands shook as she unscrewed the top from the tiny booze bottles, bringing up to her mouth. She took two gulps, stopping a hum from slipping out as the familiar burn ripped through her throat. It might had been an overreaction to others, but seeing as though she hadn't had a drink in more than 24 hours, it wasn't to her.

"Not like I wasn't expecting to see you, but why the hell are you in my room?" Alex wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, using the other to run through her messy golden locks. Eric stalked closer, slowly moving his legs like he was afraid she was going to run.

"This is our room. I never booked another one, so looks like your stuck with me." He didn't know why his first reaction was to conceal his human-like emotions and go straight to being the cocky, arrogant vampire everyone made him out to be. A defense mechanism, he supposed, one that he only needed when it came to her. 

She couldn't help but close her eyes and take in a deep breath, "Eric, are you fucking kidding me?" She muttered under her breath, knowing he would hear her either way. "I am in pieces over what you did, I thought the least you could do was stay away when I don't have to see you. I haven't slept, I need to shower. Fuck, I don't even have enough energy to fight with you." Her eyes stayed on his feet, not even daring to glance into his crystal clear blue eyes.

Eric frowned, "the room came with an adjoining room, you may stay in there if you want. Though, I'd rather have you in here with me." His words were sincere, even though they were masked with his usual smug tone.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." She pinched the bridge of her nose, grabbing her suitcase and made her way to the door on the other side of the room where she assumed the room was. She didn't make it very far, seeing as though Eric used his vampire speed to flash in front of her. The motion didn't make her flinch, but when she was forced to look in her eyes, it made her shoulders shudder.

"Just look at me, Alexandra." Eric's voice was pained, it was like his emotions had switched in a split second. Suddenly she was staring into his big blues and they were filled with regret, guilt, and pain. Neither of them said anything, just standing there to take in each others vibe.

"I have to go. Make yourself comfortable, order anything you'd like." Eric was the one to break the eye contact, moving past her in a hurry. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the constant squeezing of her heart.

-

Alexandra sighed, flipping the lights off in her hotel room. Annoyed wasn't the word she would've used when explaining that Eric had booked them a room, and then tossed her a bone with the adjoining room. She knew Eric would definitely try to pull some funny business and she was in no mood to put up with it.

Just as she had shimmed off her robe to change into one of her nightgowns, a knock appeared at her door. A purse made its way onto her lips as she slipped into the silk smooth light pink gown and walked over to the door. Her hair was still wrapped up in a soft towel so she quickly snatched it off her head and threw it onto a chair beside her bed. She ran her fingers through her hair as she grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open.

Eric was standing there in all his glory, dripping wet with a towel hanging low on his hips. Alex avoided all the temptation to look down at his chiseled chest and kept her gaze locked on his infamous smirk. After their run in earlier, Alex assumed he would've been shacked up in his part of the room all night drinking from random humans.

"What do you want, Eric?" She let her grip from the door handle fall and she averted her eyes to the TV that was playing on the other side of the room. She turned and walked into her room, hoping he wouldn't follow, but of course he did.

"I've just come to see if the room was suiting you." Eric let his teeth rake his bottom lip as his eyes lingered down her figure.

"I'm surprised you even mentioned the adjoining room. I thought you would've just kept that fact to yourself and torture me the whole damn time." Alex grabbed her lotion from her travel bag and opened the top. She squirted a small amount in her hands and rubbed them together, slowly going up her arms to rub the honeysuckle moisturizer into her skin.

"I thought about that. But I figured I'd spare you from my dead sleep. It's a bit disturbing to humans, or so I've heard." Eric flashed her a cheeky smile and her lips quirked upwards. She glanced at him and then the floor below him and frowned once more.

"You're drippin' all over my floor." She gave an unimpressed glance and he flashed in front of her faster than she could blink. Alex didn't even bat an eye when he landed in front of her face.

Eric lifted his hand up, trailing his fingers down her arm. Goosebumps popped up on her skin and she let out a deep breath. She missed his touch, she had to say, and it made her disgusted with herself.

Alexandra's hand quickly shot up, grabbing his and throwing it down to his side. "Eric, you know what I'm feeling right now. What you did? I-I can't forgive you. We were doing great. You were great and you had to ruin it by torturing my friend."

Eric's eyes trailed her face for any trace of lying, and she wasn't lying. From their connection he could feel the anger and hurt racing in her soul. It was almost like she was living on it.

Eric hummed at her response, "This is going to be a great search. With your powers and this new attitude, you're either going to find Godric, or get torn open by a cowboy vampire. Or both." His smirk grew when she huffed and shuffled by him, going over to her bed.

"Blah, get torn open, blah, powers." She mocked in a deep voice. She pulled the covers back, and hopped onto the bed, crossing her legs. "I know I'm going to find Godric. He's alive, and after I find him I'm going to have a very long conversation with him about what the hell I am. I'm going to be gracious because I know he's kind hearted, unlike you. Then, I am gonna go back to Bon Temp and I'm never going to see you again."

Eric rolled his eyes, drawing a purse to his lips, "I love how you can be so optimistic and brave, all the while being innocent and naive." His voice was as hard as stone, but Alexandra stood her ground and scoffed. She fluffed her pillow, sending a strike to the center of the comfy feathered cushion.

"Naive? Tell me what you really think there, cowboy." Alexandra rested her head upon the bed frame, grabbing the remote to turn the TV off, filling the room silence.

Eric propped his hands onto his hips, "These vampires are vigorous. They do not care about your pretty blonde hair or your new training skills. Dallas vampires will rip you apart just because of your scent. You're risking your life just by being here, as am I." His voice was as stern and hard as she had ever heard it. He was almost at the edge of yelling.

"You know what? I think you'd fit right in with them! You were preying on me ever since you first laid eyes on me! You gave me your blood the third night after we met. I'm sure you had other plans, rather than just being with me. Just like you trapped me in this fuckin' add-on room instead of just getting another one, what is that about?" Alexandra planted her feet on the cold hardwood floor, getting off the bed to go stand in front of the vampire.

"I was protecting you, Alex. Just like I'm doing right now, if I had gotten you your own room it would've meant me signing your death certificate. Do you understand how you smell to vampires, how you taste? Just because you do not fall for glamour doesn't mean they can't tear you to pieces. They do not need an invitation to come inside your room." Eric growled, his face inches away from hers. Alexandra knew they were both fuming, and nothing good could come from her arguing back. But her newfound confidence couldn't stop her.

"Oh, yeah right I'm insatiable to you guys I forgot. But you forgot that I can protect myself from anything and anyone. I don't need your help." She spat, crossing her arms and standing up to him. Eric was seething at her stubbornness and couldn't help the Swedish that flew from his mouth. Alexandra took a step back and watched with wide eyes at his outburst.

"Du förstår inte vad jag riskerar med dig här. Jag riskerar min kärlek, hela mitt skäl för att vara här. Du kommer aldrig att förstå-"

"-and I keep protecting you because you mean something to me, Alex. Like I've said a thousand times I haven't felt like this in a very long time and you've just made me realize how dangerous everything is. You cannot use your powers in front of everyone. If they even get a hint that you can shoot a bright light out of your hand you'll be taken, killed, experimented with! I never want you to get hurt." His rambling soon began to turn back into English, making Alex take a deep breath and focus on what he was saying. She folded her arms and watched as he paced in front of her.

She didn't want to contradict herself and say she forgave him right there on the spot. But a part of her did, and she hated herself for it. "You already hurt me, Eric. You don't have the right to feel for me anymore. And I'm not just going to fall right back in your arms because I've changed. I'm not the same rowdy girl who walked into your bar three months ago. But I know it's dangerous and I'm gonna try and listen to you because you know the area. But, I can't forgive you. Not now, and I don't even know if I ever will. I'm very much in control of my powers, but I'll try not to use them unless it's life or death. You have to realize I can protect myself." Alex spoke softly, crossing her arms against her chest.

Eric was silent for a moment, his chest puffing up and down unintentionally almost like a forgotten human trait. "It was unfair, me bringing you here. You're right, nothing is the same anymore. But you need to know one thing about this mission. Godric is my maker, and the attachment between a maker and their progeny is a bond that cannot be broken. From here on out, I will do everything in my power to get him back, even if that means you getting hurt in the process, but you can protect yourself now. Since we aren't together anymore, it seems as though you have a new perspective, well now so do I. Goodnight Ms. Stackhouse."

It was like the light behind his eyes was flipped off, switched to a dark mysterious shade of icy blue. Alexandra wanted to fight and argue, she wanted to tell him to wait as he slowly turned and walked out of her room, but no words came out. The pain she felt rising up to her chest was almost too much to bear. It was like their connection had snapped like a twig. Alexandra jumped when the door closed quietly. She closed her eyes and let salty tears roll slowly down her face.

authors note
hey guys! please vote and comment, leave your love, criticism, anything below!

hey guys! it has really been a hot minute, sorry for that, i've just been rewatching criminal minds and stuff during quarantine. i got a littttle distracted haha. but tell me what you think! or leave some opinions down in the comments, i'd love to hear what you think is gonna happen!

BTW i couldn't get the gif to work but i still really wanted to update tonight so, enjoy the gifless chapter. and if there is a gif, well i just got lucky!

anyways...

stream watermelon sugar music video because right now it's the only thing getting me through this shitty time <3
we love and support a very happy harry

thank you for all of the votes and comments we have gotten so far!

love mack