[34] Spiralling
She was at the beach again, only this time she was not lost. While she could not see much further than the patch of pearl-white sand beneath her feet, Elise's gut told her she had to be here. Something just beyond the reach of her mind had brought her here, and it had a good reason to call her.
"You're cute, precious, but you're not thinking straight." Melody's snide voice sounded out in the darkness, yet in a heartbeat she stood by Elise's side. Without warning, she laid a hand on Elise's shoulder, a gentle miasma lingering over her vivid green eyes. "You can't help her. Only one person can help her, and you know it's not you."
As Elise parted her lips to protest, a short, sharp sound cut through the ocean's fierce churn. She started running before she had a chance to think, a sense of the sound's source imbued in her every muscle. With each step, the darkness that consumed the beach ebbed away, motivating her to keep running even as the urge to stop clawed through her chest.
"Ellie?" All Elise could see was the sea stirring itself into chaos, yet the water's thundering uproar failed to remove even a sliver of desperation from the unseen voice. Her girl was close, and she needed her.
Foaming water turned the sand into clumped dirt, and Elise cast off the bag that hung from her shoulder to keep up her pace. In the distance, a figure shone like a guiding star against the twilit sea. Elise's lungs burned at the merest thought of speaking, yet that did not stop her pouring her heart into her cry. "Cade!"
"Ellie?" Cadence repeated. She turned to face Elise, her face deathly pale. Flashing colours lit up the towering wave that surged behind her. "Ellie!"
"I'm coming, Cade!" Elise called, reaching out across the stretch of sand between them. With a booming strike, the wave collapsed over her girl, and Elise's heart and knees thumped against the muddied sand. "No!"
"Ellie!" Her name rang out in the distance again, followed this time by a firm grip around her upper arms. In a blink, Elise landed back among the shadows of the concert crowd, Robin's bright eyes surfacing amidst the inky atmosphere. "Thank goodness. Are you feeling alright?"
Soft keys wept over the skilful laments of assorted strings on the stage ahead of them. Elise blinked the fatigue out of her eyes, wondering how much of the concert had passed her by. "I'm fine, Robin, really," she said through her exhaustion, placing her hand on her friend's tight hold around her arm. "Sorry for dozing off on you. I'll try to save it for the drive back from now on, I promise."
Speckled with iridescent lamplight, Robin's deep coffee eyes swirled with silent storms. His gaze floated over his lingering hold on Elise's torso, and the ghost of a gasp passed between his lips. "You don't need to apologise. It's far too stuffy with all these people around, and even I'm feeling a little sleepy," he said, retracting his arms and laughing to himself. He glanced around, chewing his lip in thought. "Feel like taking a walk outside for a minute? Stretching our legs might help us both out."
Elise tugged her hoodie around her shoulders, a tired smile flickering onto her face. "Who am I to doubt your expert opinion, Dr Pawley?" she answered with a cursory bounce of her legs to make sure her joints still functioned. "Though I hope you remember where the nearest exit is..."
Even in the dark, the venue's polished white flooring shone beneath the scores of feet that lay between them and the exit. Rows of rainbow-drenched spectators swayed and shuffled in time with the spirited flutes that travelled across the stage with playful abandon. Heavy with fatigue and less energised than the woodwind instruments, Elise kept close to Robin's silhouette as they sheepishly skirted their way out of the venue.
The dazzling foyer lighting stunned Elise with its sheer power, and only the cool, dark shroud of the street restored her vision. Situated a lonely drive along the coast from Bosmouth, Weyscombe's long history hid beneath a coat of clean, sterilising modernity. Young, pristine buildings towered over the pavements, teams of sleek lamps casting their flawless glass-panelled exteriors in solid cloaks of artificial daylight. Down a stretch of broad stone steps, the city's waterfront streamed with bustling bodies that sparked the night into life with their laughs and cries. One breath of the fresh sea air was all it took to revive Elise's weary senses.
Strolling away from the arena, Elise paused at a quiet section of fencing between thrumming crowds. Small, tender waves lapped at the dormant docklands, their soft splashes making the wave that had engulfed Cadence seem more like the stuff of an exhausted nightmare. Yet, like Elise's last dream involving Cadence, this nightmare lingered in her bones long after waking up. It was wild, it was powerful, and it was real.
"What's going on with you, Ellie?" Robin asked as he landed on the fence, his concern glaring through his weak masking smile. "I was hoping we could switch off and relax tonight, but if anything, you seem more freaked-out than when we left."
"I know, and I really appreciate you trying to help. It was so sweet of you to drive us all the way out here for this," Elise said with a shake of her head. Robin's worried expression combined with her view of the venue's streaming lights, beckoning the first tears to the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry for being such a shitty friend and fucking it up. I just...I don't know anymore. You can go back inside if you want, instead of watching me have my seventh breakdown this month."
Fixing his windswept fringe, Robin released a deep sigh and inched closer to Elise. "Thanks for the offer, but there's no chance I'm ditching my best friend to go stand in the dark with a bunch of strangers," he said, laying a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm alright just here. And no pressure or anything, but I'm listening if you feel like talking."
Elise closed her hand around her roommate's hold and sank against the fencing. In the distance, the moonlit sea blended with the clear night sky into a single seamless weave, every star a story waiting to be studied. For all the concert's visual glamour, the sparkling twilight was the most enchanting spectacle of her night.
"Do you think dreams can sometimes be...something more? Like a vision, or a warning, maybe?" The thought popped into Elise's head on a sharp gust of sea air, and the words leapt from her tongue just as suddenly. One glance at the confusion that creased Robin's brow shunted her brain into gear. "Shit, I sound crazy right now, don't I?"
"Not crazy, but..." Robin began as he searched his roommate's face for a clue to guide his response. When none came, he scratched his head and braced himself with a deep breath. "It does sound like this is more than just a shower thought. Did something happen? Is this why you've been so off lately?"
With a nervous smile, Elise shrugged and fiddled with the zip of her hoodie. "It shouldn't bug me so much, but...I had a nightmare that I found Cade unconscious, totally messed-up like she'd been drugged," she said, swallowing the sobs that burned at the back of her throat. "When we went looking for her ex-friend Melody at a party in Falkerrick, the second I turned my back on her, she ended up on the floor, spiked and scared out of her mind."
Robin's eyes bulged with the reckless rush of new information. "Wait, that party you went to recently was all in the way in Falkerrick? And there was spiking going on?" he said through spluttered surprise. After a spell of stunned contemplation, his voice returned with heightened fury. "What if that had been you messed-up on the ground, Ellie? I hope Cadence had a plan, because I know I had no idea where you were!"
"It's not like it was Cade's fault some creep tried to dose Melody," Elise countered, pushing off the fence into a defiant stance. "And that's not the point anyway. What matters is that it happened just like it did in my dream. Every single detail was the same, Robin! Right down to the way she was...convulsing on the floor..."
"I bet it was awful to see," Robin said in as level a tone as his thumping heart allowed. "But you shouldn't be beating yourself up over that. Whoever spiked that drink should be the one suffering, not you."
"Easier said than done." As the skeletal docks spilled their metallic laments into the water's counsel, Elise whirled a soft lock of her hair around her finger. "I know you're right, but still, I can't help thinking I should've done something to stop it. If I'd just paid a little attention –"
An incredulous scoff from Robin cut her off. "Then what, you could've flown in and saved everybody?" he asked, attracting Elise's retreating gaze with a nudge of her arm. "Cadence didn't need you to be a superhero, Ellie. She needed a friend to help her out, and that's what you were. Nobody needs or wants you to be anything other than yourself, the hard-working and supportive friend that you are."
Standing under her roommate's sustained attention, Elise released her scrambled trains of thought. The noise fled from her mind in an instant, and the silence that followed whittled down her composure's final few remnants. "Did you know you're the best?" she sobbed as she flew into Robin's rigid frame, freeing her tears into his soft blue jumper. Red-faced and stroking the tears from her cheeks, she glanced up at her friend. "I'm serious. Ever since I moved in, you've been there for me like we've always known each other. You even stood here listening to me ramble on about dream visions like it wasn't the stupidest, most unhinged shit you've ever heard."
"Honestly, I was only surprised it took your restless writer brain this long to freak out about something like this," her roommate answered, chuckling to himself as Elise retorted with a half-hearted swat at his arm. "I might not have known you that long, but I don't want to think about how hard moving to a new place would've been with a different roommate. All the times you've helped me with my classes, or my parents, or Natalie...you're amazing, Ellie."
"Really? Gosh, Robin, I'm not sure about that," Elise said through a laugh. She spun the pendant of her necklace between her fingers, then wrapped her arms around Robin. Looking up from his chest, she flicked away the single stray tear that escaped his eye. "But I am sure you're pretty amazing yourself. And no arguing back!"
"Here you are, Robin! I've been looking..." The sight of Robin's motionless lips paired with the familiar voice to unleash a wave of chills along Elise's spine. Beside them, standing alone under the nearest lamppost, Natalie froze inside the comforting folds of her jade-hued jumper dress. Her shaking hands clutched a small, dark gift box to her chest. "What's...what's going on here?"
Robin's shoulder blades tensed beneath Elise's fingertips. "Nat? What are you doing here?" he cried, hesitating before pulling himself away from Elise. He brushed down the front of his jumper, and his lips quivered as he met Natalie's eye. "I thought you said you had family stuff tonight."
Shrinking beside the sturdy streetlamp, Natalie ran her hand through her pale pink hair. "I did say that, but...I was lying. I wanted to surprise you," she replied in a fading voice as she extended her box. The container was slight enough to sit on the palm of her hand without issue, yet she kept her other hand protectively close to its side. "I didn't realise I'd be interrupting...this."
"You're not interrupting anything, I promise!" Elise rushed in front of Robin, the cool air stinging against her flushed face. "Stay with us for a bit. We'd love to hang out with you."
"Just stop it, Ellie." Far from her usual tenderness, Natalie spoke with syllables of steel. Her shimmering eyes matched the sharp edge to her words, and her unblinking stare fired harpoons to pin both Elise and Robin in place. "I'm the idiot here. Somehow, I let myself believe you really cared about me, when I always knew this was going to happen. I never should've come here. I'm so stupid!"
With an outstretched hand, Robin tripped over his words before calling out. "Nat, stop! We do care about you – I care about you, I promise!"
Natalie stared at the box in her hand, then gasped in defeat. "It's fine. I'm leaving." The gift box struck against the pavement with a hollow crack, and her thudding heels rang over her rough sniffles. "I'll just stay out of the way like I should've done in the first place. Sorry for bugging you all this time!"
"Wait! Natalie!" Elise cried, yet her appeal failed to stop the weeping girl disappearing into the maze of stalls that lined the docklands. As a lump of guilt gathered in her gut, she noticed Robin lingering at her vision's periphery. "Well? This is the part where you go after her, you utter clod."
"I don't know, she seemed pretty hurt. She basically threw this on the floor." Picking the discarded box up, Robin cracked the lid open. He removed a small pin of a golden sun from inside, its shining exterior reflecting in his dark eyes. "This is...lovely. Why would she get so embarrassed about showing up with this?"
"It wasn't about the gift. Natalie was going to ask you out, I bet." Elise laid a delicate hand on the back of her roommate's shoulder and shook her head. Scattered shreds of silver moonlight floated over the water ahead, and the image of Natalie crying at the furthest, quietest dock fixed itself in her mind. "She planned to surprise you here, then saw us together and got the wrong idea. Poor girl, I didn't think she'd try so soon."
Shock sucked the colour out of Robin's face. Under the harsh lamplight, dark shadows draped over his exhausted eyes and sunken cheeks. "Oh, shit. Are you sure? I had no clue she felt that way..." he began, ruffling his hair in frustration until a realisation tugged his lips apart. "Wait. What do you mean you 'didn't think she'd try so soon'?"
Suddenly sweating despite the breeze's icy nails along her bare skin, Elise looked to the water, desperate to hide amidst its unknown depths. "I might've told her that you liked her, and that she should ask you out first," she said as she tried to untangle her jostling nerves with the ghost of a laugh. Robin's tense body showed no sign of relaxing, driving Elise's ache closer to her unguarded heart with every blink. "So what? I know you're usually a nervous wreck about this stuff, and I was trying to make it a little easier for both of you."
"And I didn't deserve to be in the loop about your grand plan, apparently." In an instant, her roommate's gritted teeth and flexing fingers transported Elise to their last argument, where Cadence had not flinched in the face of Robin's anger. Yet in her unfamiliar, shadowy surroundings, Elise's wavering legs barely kept her upright as Robin paced in front of her. "Christ, Ellie. Couldn't you just, for once, leave things well enough alone?"
Elise fell against the railing, and the frame moaned and creaked under her sudden weight. "I'm sorry, Robin. I just thought I could help."
"More like you thought you could manipulate us, like we were in one of your stories." Chewing on his lip, Robin turned his back on Elise and followed the trail of Natalie's footsteps. "I need to go check on Nat."
"We both owe her an apology, I think." Feigned hope could only lift the weight from Elise's shoulders for a moment, and her body sank as soon as she finished speaking. "If you want, I can come with you."
"No, Ellie. You've done enough already." Robin waved Elise away without looking back, shoving his hands into his pockets before she could return the gesture. "I'll see you later."
For the second time that day, Elise stood alone in the dark, cast aside by another departing friend. The ache struck deep into the core of her heart, twisting and growing at the realisation that, unlike last time, there was nothing to look forward to now. In a few hours, she had crushed her love and her closest friendships into hunks of scrap to toss onto the long-rusted wreck of her relationship with her father. She had no family, no friends, and no Cadence.
Her eye landed on the faint guiding light of the bus station, and Elise started walking while blindly feeling for her cards. Even after so much loss, she still had a way back to Bosmouth. She landed in a frayed, stained bus seat, relieved to be the night service's only occupant, and let exhaustion shut her eyelids once more.
Scraping sands and crashing waves filled her ears, and the sea's salted scent enveloped her senses. The beach was waiting for her.
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