"Did you take a break?" 

Sevi was combing my hair with his hand while hugging my waist with his other hand. We were both laying down in our bed right after making love. Nakatalikod ako sa kanya at sinusubukang matulog, just wearing my underwear. 

"Oo, sabi mo magpahinga, 'di ba?" He kissed my shoulder. "May binitawan akong project pero okay lang. Kailangan ko huminga. Hindi naman major, e. May bago kaming pinagkakaabahalan ni Luna." 

"What will happen to your family?" I asked. 

"Pumayag si Mama na tawagan si Papa para humingi ng pera." He sighed heavily. "Kahit labag sa loob niya. Kailangan eh. Hindi ko kayang tustusan pati 'yong... isa pang kapatid. Sobra na 'yon. Ang hirap na."

"Your dad should be the one carrying these responsibilities that you have." I sighed too. "You're young. You're still young."

"Hindi na 'ko aalis kapag Sunday. Uuwi na rin ako bago mag-dinner, tapos hahanap ako ng ibang paraan kung paano ako makakabayad sa 'yo sa lahat ng binayaran mo. Okay ba 'yon?" He asked. 

"There's no need, Sevi. I'm so sorry I brought that up." I felt so guilty about it. Pakiramdam ko, tumatak talaga sa kaniya 'yon. "Maybe I need to lower my pride too and just... ask my parents for help, don't you think? They can provide in an instant." 

"Ikaw..." He kissed my cheek. "Kung hindi labag sa loob mo." 

Yeah, maybe I should do that. I will ask for money to pay the remaining balance of our unit and then extra money if we need it. He said I can help him, that it was okay for me to help him. We really needed to swallow our pride to survive. Alam ko rin na hindi madali sa kaniyang guluhin ang Papa niya. His dad already left them. He was already erased from Sevi's concept of family. 

"Binigyan ako ng pera ni Sam, alam mo ba?" He laughed at that.

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. "Typical Sam." 

"Si Sam lang nakakaalam. Nakakahiya sa iba kong kaibigan. Baka magbigay din. Hindi naman 'to inuman para mag-ambagan sila." 

"Your mom fed them for years, right?" I remembered. "For sure, they would want to help." 

The next morning, we went to work early. I asked my mom to just bring the things I left at home so umakyat ako at kinuha sa office niya. She was drinking tea when I entered her office. Inalok pa niya 'ko pero tumanggi ako. 

"Mom..." I sighed and sat on the couch. "Can I... ask for help?" 

"Of course, dear.l" She placed the cup back to the plate and looked at me, waiting for me to say something. "What is it?" 

"Our unit has remaining balance pa, and my salary can't cover everything." I pursed my lips. "Can I... ask you for help?"

"Took you so long, huh..." She laughed. "Of course, baby. Anything for you. I'll take care of that, don't worry." 

"Thank you. Can I also ask for... extra cash? I want to buy groceries..." I lightly scratched my head, getting embarrassed. 

"Look at you asking for grocery money..." Napailing siya, natatawa. "I'll put some money in your bank account but don't tell your dad. Things will get really serious. You know that." 

"Mommy, you're the best!" I gave her a hug. "I love you so much." 

"And I love you more." She hugged me back. "You are really still my big baby." 

"I promise I will work harder for this company," I said with determination. "For you, Mommy." 

"Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself." She held my hand and smiled. "So you won't lose your purpose when I'm gone."

"Don't say that." I didn't want to hear that. The last thing I wanted to imagine was losing her.

I went home early after that to buy groceries. That break really made me more productive. Iba pala talaga ang nagagawa ng pahinga. Sevi and I needed that. I was so glad he put some time for himself. Sana, successful ang project nila ni Luna. 

I was trying to pick a cereal when a woman suddenly took my favorite cereal box out of the shelf and placed it in my cart. My eyes widened when I looked at her. 

"Ida!" I immediately jumped to give her a hug. 

"Wait, nasasakal ako!" She was laughing. 

"Oh my god, fuck you, bitch!" I pulled her hair a little. "Why didn't you tell me that you were going home?!" 

"I went here for business, okay?! Aalis din ako!" She laughed. 

She looked taller now and more fit. She really started her healthy diet like what she promised me before she left. Her hair was shorter now, hanggang taas na lang ng balikat. She was wearing business attire. 

"How did you know kung nasaan ako?!" Oh my gosh, I felt so excited to see her again. 

"I asked your mom." She shrugged. "Anyway, how are you? You were calling me last week, but I was asleep, so what's up?" 

"Sevi and I had a huge fight, but we're okay now," I shrugged and pushed my cart. 

"Oh no, is he okay?" She made a sad face.

"So you're more worried about him?!" I glared at her and she laughed. 

"I heard workaholic ka na raw at hindi ka na nagpapakita sa mga tao. I told you to make friends! You shouldn't be alone! Mas nakaka-stress kapag jowa lang ang mayroon ka!" 

I missed Ida being talkative. Palagi siyang may valid point. 

"Paano kapag naghiwalay kayo? Sino'ng sasandalan mo, ha?" She pinched my arm. "If you guys break up, I will go straight home!" 

"We won't break up." I was so sure of that. 

Ida helped me with my groceries. Tinulungan niya pa 'kong i-akyat hanggang sa unit ko so we could catch up. I texted Sevi to inform him that Ida was here. Baka magulat na lang siya mamaya eh. 

"What?! You cook now?!" Ida was so dramatic that she acted as if she fainted on the couch. 

"Yeah, hindi pa 'ko magaling..." I shrugged. "But I'm learning!"

"Sure kang hindi ako magkaka-diarrhea dyan?" 

"Nope." I chuckled. "Deretso patay ka na rito." 

She waited for me to finish cooking at paminsan-minsan, tinitikman niya para raw hindi sayang ang luto. Sakto dumating si Sevi noong naghahain na 'ko sa lamesa. I already informed him that Ida was here but he still looked surprised to see my friend on the dining. 

"Uy." Sevi smiled. "Ikaw pala 'yan. Hindi kita nakilala ah. Nagpagupit ka?" 

"Duh!" Ida laughed. "Ikaw rin! I almost didn't recognize you! Hindi ka kasi naka-basketball jersey, eh." 

Sevi laughed at her before placing his things inside the study room. He was unbuttoning his polo when he went out and gave me a kiss. Ida's brows furrowed, looking disgusted. 

"Sana all!" sigaw niya sa 'min. "Sevi! Ako ba, wala?" 

"Ida, bubuhusan kita ng sabaw, I swear," I threatened. 

"Shower lang ako. Ang dumi ko na. Galing ako sa site," paalam niya. "Pwede na kayo kumain. Huwag n'yo na ako hintayin."

"Buti naman." Ida laughed, teasing. "Gutom na 'ko eh. Excited na 'kong malason!" 

"Uy, gumaling na nga si Eli magluto eh," Sevi defended me. 

"Siyempre you got used to the taste na. Hindi mo na napapansin." Ida laughed out loud to tease me more. 

"Siguro nga," Sevi joined in. "Ang lala pa rin noong carbonara." 

"Omg, true 'yan. Hanggang ngayon, naiwan pa sa dila ko ang lasa." Ida stuck her tongue out a little. 

"Hey, ang O.A mo ha! Let's just eat!" Pagpigil ko sa dalawang bully. 

Ida stayed and we talked until eleven. When she left, the unit felt quiet again. Sevi was busy in the study room so I just took a shower while waiting for him. Kakasuot ko lang ng robe ko at pumasok na si Sevi sa shower. Kadalasan kasi, hindi na kami nagla-lock. We were already that comfortable. 

"Wow, fresh gulay," he teased while getting his toothbrush on the side of the sink.

Tumabi rin ako sa kaniya at kinuha ang toothbrush ko. He was holding the toothpaste, so I asked him to put some on my brush. 

"Toothbrush-an kita dali." He laughed. 

"What am I, a dog?" Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Dali na." He got the toothbrush out of my hand. 

I rolled my eyes and let him brush my teeth. It was so funny that we just kept on laughing. Para na kaming baliw sa kakatawa. I smiled more so he could brush my teeth properly. He unconsciously mimicked my smile with his lips while brushing my teeth, so I laughed again.

"Ru ruk durmb..." I laughed.

I spit the liquid in my mouth so I could talk properly. I was still laughing and holding onto the countertop. Hawak niya pa rin ang toothbrush ko. 

"Ha?" he asked.

"Hatdog," I answered back. 

"O talaga? Mumog ka muna." 

I rolled my eyes and got my toothbrush out of his hand so I could brush my teeth again. Hindi niya naman ginawa nang matino, eh! He brushed his teeth, too, and then sabay na kaming nagsimula mag-skincare. I convinced him to wear my face mask. 

"Kikinis ako rito ah?" he asked while his head was on my lap. 

I was using my jade roller to flatten the mask on his face and to massage it. Nakaupo ako sa kama at nakasandal sa headboard habang ang ulo niya ay nasa binti ko. He was also wearing my pink ribbon headband. 

"Makinis ka naman ah," I pointed that out. "You're just stressed right now, so you need this." 

"Dapat ikaw din. Madaya ka." He sounded like a kid. "Dapat ganituhin din kita. Para mong binu-bulldozer mukha ko gamit 'yang roller na 'yan, eh." 

"Hey, ang O.A mo, ha!" I laughed. "I'm massaging your face, okay? Don't talk too much! Nagugulo 'yong facemask!"

"Kung mahal mo 'ko, kiss mo 'ko kahit may facemask," paghahamon niya.

I leaned to give him a soft kiss. Lumayo rin ako nang matikman ko nang kaunti 'yong lasa ng mask. He laughed when he saw my reaction. Nagulo tuloy 'yong facemask kaya inayos ko ulit! 

"Kasi naman! Don't laugh too hard! Annoying naman eh!" I pouted while fixing the sheet. 

"Okay, hindi na." He pursed his lips. 

I massaged his face again with the roller. I just realized how perfect his face was. Ang ganda lang. He was staring at me the whole time, so I looked away consciously. 

"Don't stare at me..." I rolled my eyes. 

"Lagi naman kitang tinititigan, ngayon ka pa magrereklamo?" 

"Why are you staring ba?" I raised my brows. 

"Naisip ko lang..." 

"What?" 

"Mahal na mahal kita." He gave me a small smile. 

I bit the insides of my cheek so I wouldn't smile. I didn't expect him to say that. Kunwari na lang hindi na ako kinikilig at pinagpatuloy na lang ang pagmasahe sa mukha niya. 

"I love you more." I gave him another kiss. 

The week went well. He did what he promised, like going home before dinner and staying during Sunday, but there was one night when he got home looking so stressed again while talking to someone on the phone. Natahimik ulit ako habang nakaupo sa couch. 

"Ano ba naman 'yan, Ma. Pati ba naman 'yan, kailangan ako pa?" Sevi sat on the couch, looking so frustrated. "Bakit hindi mo hanapin tatay niyan? Napaka iresponsable naman nito, oh..." He sighed heavily. 

I held Sevi's hand to calm him down. He gave me a small assuring smile, so I smiled back.

"Anong fieldtrip na naman ba? Kailangan ba 'yan?" Sevi massaged the bridge of his nose. "Hindi naman 'yan kailangan. Ang sabi ko, kung ano lang 'yong kailangan, 'di ba 'yon lang 'yong uunahin ko? Tsaka nasaan na ba si Papa? Sumagot na ba?" 

He stared at the wall for a moment before pulling his hair in frustration. He sighed again. No matter how annoyed and frustrated he was, he still refused to shout.

"Hinanap mo ba talaga? Sabi mo sumagot na, tapos ngayon sasabihin mong hindi pa? Ano ba 'yan? Kasama ba sa pagbubuntis 'yong pagsisinungaling?" 

I laughed a little but stopped because he was looking too serious. 

"Anong ayaw mo lang akong guluhin? Oo nga, nag-quit na 'ko sa project na 'yon kaya maluwag na oras ko, pero sabihin mo kasi 'yong totoo kasi kung hindi nga sumasagot si Papa, malamang kailangan ko humanap ng paraan. Hindi naman kasi 'to biro eh." Sevi inhaled a large amount of breath. 

I stood up and prepared our food. Pero kahit hanggang dining, naririnig ko pa rin ang boses niya. He was talking so calmly, but his body language was saying otherwise. He was still in control of his emotions, but I think too much stress can mess it up like what happened to us last time. 

"Bebe, eat na." I smiled at him after I saw him ending the call. 

He stood up and walked towards my direction. Akala ko'y uupo na siya pero nagulat ako dahil niyakap niya 'ko nang mahigpit. I hugged him back and tapped his back to comfort him. 

"I already paid for our unit and my mom also gave me money, so you don't need to worry about our bills anymore. You can focus on your family," I told him. 

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you..." I smiled. "Let's eat na." 

The next morning, he went to work early, but he left a sticky note on my forehead. Napailing agad ako at tinanggal 'yon. It was blocking my view a bit. 

Baby, 

Off to work early. I cooked breakfast. 

Kain mabuti. I'll see you later :) 

- Hubby (jk practice lang) 

I was smiling the whole day because of that. Oh, the little things that made me happy. I was really feeling good until Austin entered my office again. I still couldn't forget what he said last time. Sobrang weird niya. 

"What?" I raised a brow. 

"Why are you so mad?" He smiled before placing the folders on my desk. "Maybe you had a fight with your boyfriend, huh?" 

"No," tanggi ko at kinuha ang folders. 

"Thought so..." He shrugged. "What a strong couple, huh?" 

"You can leave now. Thank you," I said in a monotone. 

Good thing, he left after that only with a teasing smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and went back to work. During lunchtime, I went up to my mom's office. She said she wanted to have lunch with me for some reason. When I went inside, I saw her holding her chest. I got worried but when she saw me, she acted normal again.

"Are you taking care of yourself, Mommy?" I asked while we were eating. Her personal nurse was there, watching her. 

"Of course I am, sweetheart." She gave me an assuring smile. 

"Good..." I nodded.

"Can you already live without me, Eli?" she suddenly asked, which made me stop. She was breathing heavily... as if something was wrong. 

I looked at her with parted lips, unable to move. I was dumbfounded for a moment. Natulala ako, iniisip pa lang kung ano'ng mangyayari sa 'kin kapag nawala siya. I would probably go nuts. I hadn't dealt with... death... yet. 

"Stop saying that." I shook my head, still in denial. 

"You're still my big baby..." She held my hand with both of her hands. "You know... when you were young, you used to cry a lot. Really really, a lot. There was one time I heard you scream, 'Mommy! Mommy!' so loudly. I rushed down the stairs, almost falling, only to see you crying because a butterfly landed on your shirt."

I smiled at her. She looked so happy reminiscing that. She was right. Whenever I cried, I would always go to her. She knew my vulnerable side, and she always knew how to comfort me. She was my best friend. I never left her side ever since I was born. 

"But you grew up as a strong lady." She gave me a smile as tears started forming at the corner of her eyes. "And... I just... feel so proud that you're already not that cry baby I knew before." 

"I just cried last week, Mommy." I looked away to stop my tears from falling. "I'm still a cry baby, so you can't leave this cry baby behind yet. I'm not ready yet," I begged. 

"Oh, Elyse..." She gave me a hug. "Of course, you will cry. You will still cry a lot, but you will get over it, like how you used to cry back then because you fell on the ground and I was nowhere to be found... so you tried to cure your wound alone. Parang ganoon lang naman ang mangyayari, anak." 

"Stop it. I don't want to hear it." I bit my lower lip and tried to continue eating. She was like bidding her farewell. I wasn't ready for that yet. I didn't think I would be. 

"I love you." She smiled at me and held her chest again. 

"I love you," I whispered.

I tried so hard to finish my lunch without overthinking it, but the whole day, my brain was so occupied with so many thoughts about my mom. She was doing well, right? That's what the doctor said. She was taking her meds, so it was fine. 

It was around five when I arrived home. I showered and wore my pajamas before laying down on the bed, not having the energy to cook or even clean the house. I just looked at the ceiling and thought deeply. 

Tumayo lang ako nang marinig ko si Sevi na dumating. Lumabas ako ng kwarto at sumilip sa kaniya. He smiled at me when he saw me. I was about to hug him but his phone suddenly rang. 

"Work?" nagtatampong tanong ko.

"Si Steven." He looked more confused. 

Tumalikod siya sa 'kin saglit para sagutin ang tawag. It looked urgent. Steven never called him. Pati tuloy ako ay nagtaka.  

"Ano?! Magsalita ka nang maayos, hindi ko maintindihan!" My eyes widened when I heard Sevi's loud shout. 

I bit my finger and looked at him in a worry. I saw how his expression changed. Kung kanina'y galit siya, ngayon napuno ng takot at pag-aalala ang mukha niya.

"Anong dugo?! Magsalita ka nang maayos, pucha!" Sevi got his bag again in a rush. "Papunta na 'ko! Humingi ka ng tulong! Huwag mong iiwan si Sofia diyan!" 

Hindi na siya nakapagpaalam sa 'kin at tuloy-tuloy lang tumakbo paalis. My lips parted, getting more worried. I texted him about it but he didn't reply. Hindi ako nakatulog kakaisip kung anong nangyari. 

Hindi rin siya umuwi. Wala akong tulog kahihintay sa kaniya. I wanted to know what happened. It looked so serious. 

Bigla ko na lang napansin na umaga na pala so I went straight to the shower after eating toasted bread. I was hoping for Sevi to come home that morning, but he didn't, so I just went to work. 

"Elyse, let's go. Opening noong bagong hotel," Austin reminded me. 

I stood up and fixed my things. Pagkakuha ko ng phone ko, tinext ko ulit si Sevi, hoping that he will reply. 

To: Sevi

Hi love I'm getting worried so please text back if you have time. I love you. 

Tinago ko na ang phone ko sa bag at lumabas na ng office. Nakasalubong ko si Mommy at Daddy sa elevator, kasama si Austin. They were heading out to the hotel, too. Sasabay na lang ako sa kotse nina Mommy. 

"Did you do a final check, Eli?" my dad asked. 

"Yes, Dad..." I nodded. 

When the elevator opened, I let them leave first. Sumunod na lang ako sa kanila, at sa tabi ko ay si Austin. My eyes widened when a man suddenly grabbed the collar of my dad. Everyone stopped walking. 

"Ano'ng ginawa mo kay Mama?!" Sevi yelled so loudly. His eyes were bloodshot. My lips parted, surprised and confused. What was happening?

"Sevi!" I shouted and ran to stop him. 

"Putang ina mo, ano'ng ginawa mo sa nanay ko?!" Sevi still wouldn't let go of my dad! 

"What the hell is happening?!" I tried to touch him but I couldn't when I saw how mad he was. Tears started forming in the corner of his eyes. All I saw was madness and pain. I never saw him like this before. 

"'Yong bata..." Sevi cried. "...wala na." 

Wala na? 

My lips parted when I realized that he was talking about his mother's baby. The baby. My mom looked so shocked and confused. She was staring at my dad with wide eyes, asking for an explanation. Austin looked so surprised too. He couldn't talk. 

I felt dizzy. I had a hard time breathing, with my heart beating so fast. 

"I don't know what you're saying." My dad tried to force Sevi's hands to let go of him. 

"Oh my god!" My knees fell on the floor when he suddenly punched my dad. 

The security was already running towards us, pulling Sevi away from my dad. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do o kung sino ang pupuntahan ko. My dad's lips got busted, but he still managed to smirk. 

"Binastos mo nanay ko!" Sevi kept on yelling. "Tao ka pa ba?! Paano mo nagagawang ngumiti habang... habang 'yong... Mama ko... nawalan ng anak?" 

"Alfred..." My mom started crying. Her eyes were wide, and she was having trouble breathing. "What did you..." 

Austin helped my dad up. I was still standing in the middle of my dad and Sevi, not knowing what to do. 

"Panagutan mo ang nangyari kay Mama..." Sevi tried to go to my dad again. "Para mo na rin siyang pinatay... Para mo na rin kaming pinatay..." 

"Sevi, stop it!" I started crying too. It was too much. Everything happening around me was too much for me. 

"Ang laki-laki ng respeto ko sa 'yo..." Sevi sobbed. "Hindi ko alam na tinatarantado mo na pala nanay ko sa likod ko. Putangina, paano... paano mo nagagawa 'yon?!" 

"Elyse!" Austin yelled. "Your mom!" 

My eyes widened when I saw my mom on the floor, unconscious. My hands started shaking when I tried to touch her body, panicking. I covered my mouth as tears started falling. 

"Call an ambulance, please! Please!" I yelled, crying. "Please! Help! Someone! Please!" 

I stood up and asked for help. Austin was already on his phone, calling for help. Sevi stopped when he saw my mom on the floor. I walked toward him with bloodshot eyes. Hindi ko na alam ang tumatakbo sa isipan ko. There were too many emotions inside me. They were overflowing.

"Elyse-" 

I hit his chest with my fist as the tears fell on my face. I was full of anger inside me... but I still loved him. "How dare you do this to me..." I cried. 

"I'm sorry..." He looked at me with so many emotions. 

"Get him away from me, please," I begged the security. 

Sevi looked at me like he was giving up. He looked at me like he was accepting his defeat. Binawi niya ang braso niya sa dalawang lalaking may hawak sa kaniya at siya na ang naglakad palabas. 

I couldn't think straight anymore. The next thing I knew, I was rushing my mom to the hospital. I was holding her hand in the ambulance, crying. 

"Mommy, please..." I cried more. "Please don't leave me, please... I can't... I can't live without you... Mommy please..." 

I wanted to beg every saint to save my mom. I wanted to beg the doctors, the nurses, everyone. I wanted to beg the universe to bring her back to me. I needed her. 

"Mommy..." I cried. "You're... all I have. Please." 

She looked pale in front of me. Her hand was cold, and she was barely breathing anymore. Hindi na 'ko makahinga kakaiyak. 

My dad was getting his lips treated while I was waiting outside the emergency room, still crying. I didn't know what to think. I just wanted my mom to be safe. 

"Elyse!" Ida ran to me and hugged me. 

I cried on her chest the whole time. I did not stop. Parang hindi nauubos ang luha sa katawan ko habang naghihintay. 

"Ida, hindi ko kaya..." I cried more. 

"You can do this. I'm with you. I'm with you," Ida whispered to me. 

Napatayo lang kaming dalawa nang lumabas ang doctor. My heart started beating fast when the doctor sighed heavily. 

"I'm sorry," the doctor said. 

That was enough to break my heart. 

"Elyse..." 

I fell to the floor. My hands and lips were shaking. I felt dizzy. Hindi ko alam ang iisipin ko. My vision became blurry all of a sudden. 

"No..." I shook my head and stood up again to grab the doctor by his sleeve. "No, she's... she's not dead, right? She's alive, right?" 

"I'm sorry, Miss Ledezma. Her condition was already serious, and her body was already too weak. She-" 

"No!" I screamed and tried to go inside the emergency room, but Ida stopped me. "No, please, she's alive! She's not dead! She's not!"

"Elyse..." Ida cried, hugging me. 

"Ida, she's not dead. She would never leave me like this. She... she..." I broke down. "She said... she will always be here..." 

I fell to the floor again, crying. I didn't care if I was already making a scene. I couldn't accept that... my mom... was gone. 

"Mommy," I whispered, closing my eyes. "It hurts so much... How can I live?"  

I couldn't imagine myself waking up tomorrow with her gone. I couldn't imagine myself going to her office and not seeing her around. I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine her gone. 

I was with her... almost every day... for years. 

I couldn't deal with the sudden change. My heart couldn't take it. 

She supported me in everything. She comforted me when I cried. She celebrated my success with me and even my loss. She protected me and never left my side for years. I couldn't... I couldn't let her go now. I can't. 

"Mommy..." I cried again. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, please come back to me... Please..." 

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