The week passes by without any incidents, but I've distanced myself a bit from everyone. I'm still being my usual friendly self since I moved here, but I'm not hanging out with anyone after practice and the only person I've really spent any time with has been Ethan on our rides to school. Those aren't more than just talking about the upcoming school events or chatting about our favorite shows on Netflix. I've even managed to keep a small distance between Levi and I too.

It's the night before the car wash fundraiser and it's supposed to be gorgeous tomorrow. It may be the end of September, but the temperatures have been a steady eighty degrees, hot enough that Levi has invited some of us over after the fundraiser to swim in the lake. I told him I'd think about it.

I find myself finally drifting off and it's only eight o'clock, but I haven't been sleeping well with the nightmares that have plagued me this week. Tonight the sound of mom's voice on the phone with clients is comforting and helps me to fall asleep, as if she were reading me a story. I allow the heaviness of sleep to take over.

I gasp like I'm out of air. Something is tapping against my window and on top of the awful nightmare I had, knowing someone is just outside the window making that noise makes it even worse. I think about calling mom in here, but decide against it as the rest of the apartment is quiet and from under my door there's nothing but darkness, so I assume she's asleep.

I find that it's just past two in the morning and so I have no doubts she's out. The tapping only stops for a quick moment, but then picks up again. I throw the covers off of my sweaty body and walk close to the window. I try to think of a way to look outside without the person out there seeing me. I'll feel really dumb if it's just some kind of animal though.

I carefully pull one side of the curtains trying not to show too much movement. There's one more tap at the window and then it stops again. I squint hard to see out into the darkness. The only thing lighting up the outside a little are the lamps that hang over the parking lot. A familiar body shape appears in my window, but they aren't looking at me. Their hand lifts and they run it through their unruly hair - that is also familiar.

"Levi?" I ask myself, out loud.

Even though my heart is pounding hard in my chest and I can hardly breathe I tap on the window. I know it's not the smartest move after everything, but I have to know if it's him, or maybe I'm still in the dream. His head turns and I catch sight of Levi's eyes. Holding up my pointer to let him know I need a minute, I let the curtains drop and grab a gray hoodie so that I can go outside.

The apartment is dark, mom is definitely asleep. As quiet as I can I open the door to the apartment. Levi is sitting on the cold hard cement with his head in his hands. He doesn't look up when the door opens. He keeps his head buried in his hands and it brings me back to the time I came to his house. Something must have happened with his parents.

I join Levi on the ground and sit close enough to feel the warmth of his body heat, it doesn't bother him that I'm that close or if it does he doesn't react.

"Mom smacked me," he says.

I open my mouth to say something, but he continues before I have the chance.

"It was my fault, I was mouthing off to my dad again," he says. "I never repaired the hole in the wall and mom was pissed. Dad came over to drop my sister off and it all went downhill from there," he says.

"And you thought about coming here?" I ask.

He nods, "you were the only person I could stand being around," he says. "It's like when I'm with you - you take away the pain."

I don't say anything when he adds, "I'm sorry I woke you.' For a brief moment he lifts his head, "you look like crap by the way. You okay?"

I shake my head, "No, but that's not important right now."

For some reason I can't bring myself to talk about what happened last weekend.

I scoot closer and place my hand on the back of his warm neck. He lifts his head and his eyes are red, moisture pooling in them.

"You've been keeping your distance," he says, "is it the homecoming thing? Do you regret saying yes to me? To someone who is so fucked up," he rattles on. "I get it if you want to cancel on me, maybe Ethan is the better choice for you," he groans, running a hand through his hair again.

I don't answer him right away, I'm not really sure what to say to make him feel better. I could tell him that I have no feelings for Ethan whatsoever, but then I'd be lying. I don't like lying to people, especially the ones I care about. I've only been here a few short weeks, but these people have shown me more hospitality than any of the people did back at home. I fear I will lose that if I do anything stupid.

"I knew it," he says, starting to stand.

I tug on his arm pulling him back down, harder than I intend and he grunts. I take hold of his shirt rolling it into a ball in my fist and pull him close to me. I stare down at his lips and can't help wanting to feel them on mine again. I might have feelings for Ethan, but kissing Levi is like nothing I've ever felt before. There's a huge part of my heart that responds to Levi in ways that it doesn't to Ethan. Then again sometimes that feeling is reversed. What the hell is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry that it seems that way, truly I am. I haven't been ignoring you because I don't want to go to homecoming with you. I have a past in Tulsa and last weekend it came back to haunt me. Ethan was here for it and really helped me through the day."

He scoffs, "I knew it. Ethan always gets the..."

"Could you let me finish?"

I don't mean for my voice to sound harsh, but it does. It's only because I'm trying to get my point across and him interrupting me is making this more difficult.

"He now knows things that I haven't really told anyone here," I say. "I'm not going to deny there are feelings there, especially after all of the things that he's done for me. I also won't deny that my feelings for you are something completely different."

"Oh, here it is..."

"Jesus Christ Levi! I'm trying to tell you something," I say, this time not really caring about raising my voice. "Just listen, okay?" I try to lighten my voice a bit. I let out a breath before continuing. "Levi you make me feel things I've never felt before and I like it a lot. I may like your best friend too, but right now the person I want to go to homecoming with is you. Honest."

I don't allow myself to focus on anything but Levi.

"I hope that liking both of you does not make me a bad person. I don't want to lead either of you on. I want to be honest with you from the start because a big part of me wants to see where this goes," I say, pointing between the two of us. "I'm not looking to run off into the sunset with you Levi, but I'm willing to give this - us - a chance," I tell him. "Even if after homecoming we just continue to be friends, I will be happy with whatever the outcome may be, just as long as you stay in my life."

He's quiet for a long moment and I think I've lost him completely.

"I just don't want to end up like Angela..."

He snaps his head in my direction and stares at me, "you are nothing like her," he whispers.

Levi reaches up, his calloused fingers softly swirl over the skin on my cheek. His touch makes me shiver. My entire body responds, wanting more from him. I grab the fabric of his shirt once more, this time pulling him in so tight and hard he doesn't have a chance to get away. I press my lips firmly against his and for a few seconds we stay like that. Both of our lips pressed in a straight line not moving, but eventually I'm the one who deepens the kiss.

Levi drinks me in like I'm the last body of water on this earth and he's willing to drink just enough to keep him alive, but not enough to completely drain me. My pulse speeds up as the kiss intensifies. I'm putting myself out there and being honest from the start in hopes that if things happen to go south between us that we can always just be friends without resenting each other.

I pull away just slightly, his teeth are sunken into my bottom lip.

"So you want this then?"

"I think so." It takes me a second to get out the next part. "Can we just see where this takes us? I'm not ready to commit to anything. I'll open up to you about things slowly if you promise to not hate me if things between us don't end up working."

It's not just the fact that I like two guys that is keeping me from fully committing to one of them, it has more to do with trust and seeing how fast someone can turn their back on you for something you didn't even do or have anything to do with. I refuse to get my heart broken again the way it broke when Lawrence told me that he wanted nothing to do with me.

"I don't think I could ever hate you Morgan," he whispers into my mouth.

"I've heard that before," I say, remembering those same words just hours before the hatred started.

With everything going on tears have been just sitting on the edge of my eyes waiting for someone to say something that will release them. I do everything in my power to hold them back.

"Don't say things you can't promise," I say through gritted teeth.

"But I mean it...."

I shake my head cutting him off from his thoughts, causing some tears to fall. I hate crying, but mostly I hate when it's in front of someone else. I'm so embarrassed I want to crawl into a hole and stay there.

"I had someone tell me the same thing and then a few hours later I was his worst enemy. I'm not ready to go into the details on it right now. I just don't need to hear something that you can't follow through with if something with us doesn't work out," I say, not wanting to talk about what's happening.

Maybe that's why being with Levi is so easy, he doesn't know about my past and now Ethan does. Ethan knows my most vulnerable secret and Levi doesn't and that makes me feel like I can just be anyone with him. I know I have to tell him eventually, but for now I need a little joy back in my life, and Levi is just the person who can bring that back.

Levi nods, "I think I can do that. I like you Morgan, a lot. I don't see how I could just forget about it like it's nothing. I don't want to be the guy who forces you to choose, so whoever you chose and whatever you decide is okay with me."

I wrap my arms around his neck and he carefully takes me into his arms and holds me.

"As long as you don't ever stop kissing me because damn I..."

I pull away and catch the usual cocky Levi smirk and as much as I'd like to wipe that stupid grin off his face, it's the one thing that has made me smile in days.

"What?" he asks, staring back at me.

"You're smiling," I say.

"Yeha, well you tend to have that effect on me," he says, drawing in closer.

His lips linger over mine and I glance down at them for a heartbeat too long. He takes notice and gently places a soft kiss on my lips. He's unable to contain the smirk that continues to creep up his face.

"You sometimes have the same on me," I say, allowing him to dive into another deep kiss.

He pulls away, "do you need a ride to the car wash?"

I shake my head, "Ethan is driving me."

"Okay," he says. "What about my get together after? Will you be there?"

I really was not planning on going with everything going on, but the way he's asking me and not once turning from my watchful eye. I know he feels something that's more than a five second relationship and maybe I should just give it all a chance. It doesn't hurt to put myself out there.

"Yeah. I'll be there."

He smiles, "one last kiss for the road?" he asks.

I lean in and plant another soft kiss on his lips. He goes to dive in deeper, but I pull away.

"Goodnight or good morning," I say.

"Good morning Morgan. Sleep well, I'll see you in a few hours."

He reaches his hand down for me as he stands and I take it. He doesn't linger or hesitate, the moment I'm up he gives my hand a soft squeeze and then walks away. I'm not sure why, but as he does this strange awful heavy weight sits in my stomach like maybe I'm making some kind of colossal mistake. I try not to think about it as he drives away, but it's embedded there now. I can only hope that whatever this is turns out to be something amazing, even if it means just being friends, I'd definitely be okay with that too.