She stood there at the door staring at me, not a word transferred between us. "Can I come in?" She just stands there "No." She makes a move to close the door but I put my hand on it swinging it back open.

"Okay, can we talk just like this then?" She grumbled and looked at her wrist, she blushed when she saw she had no watch on and looked back up at me.

"Make it quick." I sucked in a breathed "I'm sorry Soojin, I really am. My dad left me after being there for me for 18 years, and my family are I are struggling. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't going to use Nadeem I promise you. I was going to love him unconditionally."

Soojin clenched her jaw "Really? Then why did you leave him after Amir came?" I hadn't told Soojin about me being in love with Amir since school.

I haven't told anyone besides Rayyana actually. "Because... I loved him ever since school." Soojin's eyes widened

"Ever since he bullied you?" I nodded, she seemed different somehow and my eyes trailed down to her very exposed dress.

"What are you wearing?" She looked down and showed it off "you like it?" Then I realized she didn't have her Hijab on.

"Are you... going somewhere?" Soojin nodded, I raised an eyebrow at her. "Didn't Rayyana and Rabia tell you? I'm converting."

"WHAT?" I yelled making a person come out of their room and shush me. "Yeah, tomorrow." I was speechless, didn't Rabia or Rayyana warn her?

"Anyway, I can't forgive you entirely but I will say Sabah that you are an amazing person and right now I can try to rekindle our friendship. It will take time though."

I nodded relieved that our friendship wasn't over. "Okay." I smiled at her and she opened the door motioning for me to come inside.

"I'm going to tell you something okay? My mom, she has cancer." I sat down and frowned "my brother's dead, and she's blaming me for it. As well as my dad."

Soojin has told me about her dad and mom being strict "my mom is on her death bed Sabha and she told me she hates me." Her eyes had tears in them as she stared at me.

"She died this morning, and her last words to me was that she hated me. So, I'm going to convert on her behalf so that she could hate me more."

I didn't know what to do, I hesitated but then I hugged Soojin and rubbed her back telling her it was going to be okay.  

She was still trusting me with all these secrets of hers and I was grateful for it.

"Soojin, are you sure you want to convert? It sound's like your only doing this because you want to get revenge on your mom."

I watched as she hesitated before saying "No, I'm doing this because Islam isn't for me." Before I could say anything though she changed the subject. 

I also for the sake of her stayed quiet and changed the subject. 

YA ALLAH help Soojin choose the right path 

Soojin's POV

"I am disappointed in you." My dad finished and then he hung up on me. I sighed and put my phone away and drank some water. I put my head down and thought about what I was doing. Converting came to me unexpectedly, one minute I was sitting on my bed watching those horrible T.V show's hotel's show you. 

And the next minute I was thinking "Man, wouldn't it be fun to convert?" The thing was that ALLAH wasn't there for me when I needed. He took my brother away, made me live in this horrible house hold with people I called my "mom and dad". He took away my mom which is something I'm grateful for. 

But, my dad still remains here in this world. He taunts me for my mistakes and other shit I had done. All I had to do was wait for that bastard to die and then his company will be in my hands. I will be a rich hot CEO and I won't need a man beside me.

I smiled to myself and drank more water, tomorrow I was going to go to a bar and drink alcohol with no regrets. 

I stood nervously backstage while the priest was holding my hand "Dear child, nothing will be wrong. Today, you are going to wash away all your sins in the name of Jesus Christ." I nodded along but I wasn't focusing on his words. 

Should I do this?

Suddenly the conversation between Rayyana and I popped into my head.

Flashback

"Islam isn't for me Rayyana, ALLAH wasn't there for me and my brother, he let him leave me. He made me hurt by writing all this down for me in my life book. And I don't like the Hijab anymore what's the point? Guys still look at me."

I angrily shouted at her, I was sick and tired of people telling me that ALLAH was going to make everything better  when he himself did this to me. 

"But Soojin, why? ALLAH (SWT) has plans, it's written down for all of us. It's written down for all of us, we all have experienced pain." 

Flashback end

Rayyana was right, we all had to experience pain in some ways. But then again, he can control everything, why not let me keep my brother?

I'm going to do it. 

I smiled to myself and kept on repeating in my head that I was going to do it, and I was going to do it happily.

"Okay father, I'm ready." The priest held my hand and smiled at me, he then went onstage to give his speech. 

He called me up on stage and I looked out in the crowd to see Rayyana, Rabia, Sabha, and Amir. They all smiled at me but I could see something in Rayyana's eyes. 

Admiration? I looked closer... tears. 

There were tears in her eyes. 

I ignored them and positioned myself inside the bathtub. "Soojin, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, for the forgiveness of your sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit."

The priest said and I felt myself go down. 

Here goes noth- ALLAHU AKBAR

I felt cold water surround me and then with a blink of an eye I was brought back up and I heard cheering. 

I opened my eyes and took deep breath's, I looked at my surroundings and stood there feeling numb as people around me congratulated me and welcomed me to Christianity. 

But, I couldn't stop thinking about the ALLAHU AKBAR I had said before being dunked into the water.

Why did I say that? And why don't I feel some sort of happiness?

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I looked to see Sabha and Rabia with big smiles on their faces, they hugged me and wished me well on the path I had chosen. 

They walked away talking about our trip back to Pakistan, I looked over and saw Rayyana standing behind them. She noticed me staring at her and walked up to me, she didn't hug me but instead stood there with her hands clasped together. 

"Congratulations." Was all she said with a curt nod and then walked out of the church. 

I felt a towel being wrapped around me, and I felt cold. I soon realized that it wasn't because of the freezing water, but instead this feeling was coming from inside me. 

What have I done?

Urdu Translation-

ALLAHU AKBAR- ALLAH/God is most great. 

I would just like to say that I am 100% Muslim, I have never witnessed nor been to a baptism before. I'm not trying to offend anyone but I would like to include this little moment because now a days a lot of Muslims are falling off the right path. 

If you were a Muslim and convert to any other religion I would just like to say I hope you did it with your full heart's content, and I wish you luck on your journey.

I wanted to include this in my book because I want to show Muslim's that sometimes being a Muslim isn't so bad. 

Again, not trying to offend anyone and I would love to learn more about Christianity if anyone is willing to tell me about it so I can include some stuff in my writing. 

Thank you.