Today was my big day. 

Today was the day I would say goodbye to Rabia, Soojin, and Sabha and say hello to Canada again. Because me and Asad didn't want to go with this marriage we both agreed to skip to the Nikkah so we could get this over and done with. 

Obviously I rejected the idea at first because this was my first time getting married and I wanted it to be the best day of my life, but I forgot the circumstances. I was heartbroken to say the least and I was pretty sure Asad knew that as well but he chose to ignore the fact that I wasn't happy at all. 

Has he ever even thought about me before doing something?  I stood in front of the mirror staring at myself. 

It was an incredibly simple dress yet it spoke to me because this dress that I was wearing once was on my mom's body. This was her dress that she had given to me when I was 13. 

Flashback

"I'm just saying mom, I see no point in marrying a complete stranger." My mom and I have had this conversation before but every time it left me with one simple question. 

Why?  

It made no sense to me as to why I had to marry someone that I don't know, what was so wrong with falling in love before? Of course if that was ever the case for me I wasn't going to do anything Haram like date him. 

I would simply tell him to send a proposal to my house so we can do it the Halal way. My mom tutted as she stirred the pot making her world famous Biryani. She was amazing at making Biryani, so amazing that I told her that she should be on a cooking show. 

She never did go on one though.  "Rayyana Arshad how many more times are we going to have this conversation?" I could tell she was tired of me asking the same questions but until I understood I wasn't going to stop. 

"Until I finally figure it out." She sighed and close the stove sitting next to me. "An Arranged Marriage is not that bad. Didn't your dad and I have one? Do you ever see us fight?" She had a point there. Have you ever seen that one couple in school that just couldn't stop talking about each other all the time? The couple that never separated and would kill a person if they talked bad stuff about the other? 

That was my parent's relationship. 

"Mom people say it's weird though." Everyone I have told gave me weird looks when I told them the whole system. "That's what Society does, it makes you hesitate on your opinion." I didn't know what to say still not seeing the point. 

"Hold on." My mom said getting up and running upstairs, she came back a few minutes later with a big white box. It had dust over it, but my mom just blew on it and put it in front of me. 

"Open it." She said smiling at it. I raised an eyebrow and opened the box only to gasp when I saw it. At the time the dress looked amazingly beautiful. I took it out of the box and laid it down on the table admiring the little rhinestones.

"That was my Nikkah dress." My mom had a far away look as she looked at it, she lightly traced the dress as if it would break if she roughly touched it. Something about the way she said it and touched it made me want to put it away and never let anyone see it or touch it. 

"One day meri jaan you will wear this dress, and you will walk down the aisle with your dad holding your hand." I smiled at it and looked at the dress again. Obviously by the time I get married this dress would no longer be in fashion but the way it spoke to me told me not to care.

I had made a decision right then and there that this dress would be my Nikkah dress no matter who made fun of it. 

Flashback end

I had kept my word and silently kept it to myself not telling or showing anyone the dress. No one knew that this was my mom's dress still and I intended to keep it that way. 

The girls all surprisingly liked it and didn't mention anything about the fact that it looked old or that it was out of fashion. 

I frowned as I remembered the promise I had kept to my dad which was to walk down the aisle with him. After he passed away I knew that I wasn't ever going to get married because now I had to go down the aisle with someone else. 

I gulped and silently prayed to ALLAH that my dad would forgive me as I had no choice. 

"OMG LOOK AT YOU!" Soojin yelled jumping into my arms. I silently laughed at her childish antics and made a face. "Is your nose itching again?" Rabia asked staring at my nose. Yes, I had to put on makeup. As Sabha says a bride needs to have makeup on. 

This was absolute torture to me. I would be sitting on the stage for ALLAH knows how long, and I had this horrible itch on my nose.  

I sighed and prayed that everything would go okay. 

"Rayyana are you done yet?" I heard a snooty voice say, then a face popped into the doorway with a scowl. "What in the world are you wearing?" Javaria said walking up to me. 

"It's called clothes." I was in no mood to have an argument right now but Javaria was apparently. "It's 2021 not 1987 that dress is so old." I clenched my jaw and was about to tell her that this was my mom's but I stopped. 

"Well Javaria this is my big day and I therefor could care less what you think. Who even invited you?" I had make invitations and I sure as hell didn't invite her. "My mom duh." I didn't invite my aunt either. 

I had made it loud and clear to my parents that I wasn't going to invite people from my dad's side. My dad got angry when I said that so I played it off by saying that I was just joking, but now that he was gone I didn't have to invite them. 

Call me heartless, but if your own aunt called you dad and told him to die then you wouldn't want her coming to your big day. 

"Whatever let's go." I mumbled grabbing my dress and heading to the limo. My uncle had hired a limo for me for some reason, I guess he wanted Asad to think that they treated me like their own daughter. Poor guy didn't know Asad could care less. 

It had been my dream to ride into a limo and I had created plans to have one for my sweet 16, but some things happened and I couldn't get a limo for my 16th birthday. 

 The girls and I all cheered as we climbed in, we talked and laughed the whole way while Javaria just sat in the corner on her phone. 

I stood outside the hotel where my Nikkah was being held. For some reason, my aunt and uncle weren't here and we couldn't start without them. I was talking with the girls while holding my dress. I was wearing heels and I wasn't really used to wearing them so my feet were aching so I suggested we sit on a bench. 

Minutes turned into an hour and by then everyone was concerned. "Rayyana, call your aunt and uncle." Someone said, I nodded and phoned my aunt. 

"Hello?" 

"Phupho, where are you? My Nikkah was supposed to start an hour ago." 

"Oh, didn't Javaria tell you? We aren't coming." My eyes widened as I looked at Javaria who had a big smirk on her face.

Of course this witch didn't tell me.  

"Why not?" I said through gritted teeth. "You aren't our daughter, we don't have to be there. Have fun in Canada." And with that she hung up the phone. 

I stared at it in shock and willed myself not to cry. "What's wrong?" Someone asked from behind me. I took a deep breath and said "Sorry I dont think I can.." I got cut off when someone screamed my name. 

It was Asad's dad.

"Rayyana, what are you doing here?" He kindly asked, I gave him a smile telling myself not to cry again. "Sorry uncle, I'm ready." He nodded and we all walked in after him. He stopped at the doors and before he opened them he held his hand out to me. 

I took a sharp breath as I held his hand and placed a smile on my face. 

This was supposed to be my dad and me. 

I shook the negative thoughts out of my head as me and Asad's dad walked inside with big smiles, the camera's were on me and I nervously placed a step in front of the other. I didn't mess up and the next thing you know I was on the stage with Asad beside me. 

We sat on the stage for a while taking pictures and answering questions, I got to meet his side of the family trying to be as polite as I could. I think they liked me because I heard them talk some good stuff about me as they walked off the stage.  

Finally, it was time for me to sign the papers and become Mrs. Qureshi. It was just like Javaria's wedding, Asad on one side and me on the other side expect this time I was the bride. 

The imam started "Do you, Rayyana Arshad take Asad Qureshi as your husband?" This was it. I was getting married without my mom, my dad, and my sister's beside my side. I had promised them that I would do this with them and I was breaking it. 

No, they would have wanted me to be happy even if they weren't with me. I had to do it, for them. 

"Qabool hai." I said 3 times, then the Imam turned to Asad "Do you, Asad Qureshi take Rayyana Arshad as your wife?" He said "Qabool Hai." and with a heavy heart I signed the papers and watched as Asad signed the papers too. 

We quickly made dua, and then everyone started hugging and congratulating me. 

I looked to Asad who had a smirk plastered on his face as he teasingly waved at me. 

I gulped suddenly feeling a tear rolling down my cheek, I had signed the Nikkah papers. I was now Mrs. Qureshi. 

What have I done?  

Urdu Translation-

Dua- Prayer

Qabool Hai- I do 

Meri Jaan-My love