Scald

Shadows // Lindsey Stirling

My mouth is watering. The cake is almost mine to taste. Before enjoying the sweetness, we must first make our wishes and then blow out the candles. Every year I've wished the same thing, for my mother to return. There is nothing else I would want. Until this year. There is someone else I wish to return to me, and I find myself having a hard time deciding whom to wish for. My heart aches with the thought of either Mother or Drue never returning again. Both of them have been so important in my life, so I do the only thing I can do in this situation.

The candles are lit and the music has paused as both Ellete and I begin to blow out the twinkling lights, silently casting my wish to have both of the people I hold dear back in my life soon. It takes us each several breaths but as soon as all of the candles are out, the room breaks into applause. I find myself smiling, something quite rare for me to do.  My smile continues as I watch the cake being cut and plated. I feel it widen the moment the luscious chocolate decadence is handed to me. I must be glowing as I pick up the fork and slice off a corner with just the right amount of cake and frosting. But when I raise the fork to my mouth and look up, my smile is burned right from my lips as I see Nicandros watching me.

I bring the fork to my mouth and shove the entire bite in, knowing there's frosting now smeared on my lips with how forceful I'd been. Doing so while never taking my eyes off of the man whose smirk makes me insane. My full intention is to eat my cake with as much menace as I can, glaring and scowling the entire time. As I watch Nicandros' ever-present smirk slip right off of his face, however, my anger slips as well. He is regarding me in an entirely new way. Is it curiosity? Perhaps shock and disgust? But no, none of those describe the look on his face. The only word I find remotely appropriate is sadness.

I can't look at him any longer, not with such pity in his eyes, so I turn away and walk to another table. My desire for that decadent cake has vanished along with my fury. I stare at the discarded cake and wonder what in the world just happened, which seems to be a frequent question where Nicandros is concerned. The man is so confusing tonight, one minute filled with arrogant irritation and the next something more like a lost little boy.

"It looks delicious. You didn't make it, I assume." His voice is a purr in my ear as he speaks from behind.

Without turning around, I reply. "Of course you would assume something delicious wouldn't be made by my hands." I shake my head at his insult. It's what he does, so I shouldn't continue to be disappointed by it.

"That is not what I said. I assumed it was not made by you because you specialize in the savory." The purr has become a caress and chills run down my arm.

I have no reply because his words are close to a compliment. I find myself dissecting each syllable looking for the negative implication.

"I need to ask if you would dance with me," Nicandros continues with his caressing speech while I attempt to control my breathing. I cannot allow him to see how this is affecting me or he will use it to his advantage.

"Need to? How kind. I feel like you've been given an assignment. No thank you."

His hand touches my elbow, silently urging me to turn around. "I must dance with you." His eyes are burning coals as I look up at him. I can't look away, and I can't refuse him. Stubbornly, I keep my lips pressed together in a hard line. If I don't agree, maybe this strange game will end. My hopeless thoughts of escaping this dreaded dance float away as he begins to lead me to the center of the hall where different couples are spinning to the music. Typically there would be a large group dancing and intermingling. Unfortunately for me, this particular dance is between two people, couples only. The worst possible outcome is now a reality. I will be forced to sway and move to the music while having Nicandros arm around my waist, mine around his shoulder and our hands tightly clasped.

We make it to the center of the room and Nicandros turns to face me, placing his hands and arms exactly where I had just pictured them. He pulls me closer. Too close. The heat from his body seeps through the fabric of my dress. My heart is on fire, my skin burning. I raise my now heated gaze to look into his. I swallow my heart, which is now in my throat when I see the look in his eyes. Gone is the burning coal and the black night. Nowhere to be seen is the dark power. All I see in front of me is a man filled with sadness and longing piercing through my very soul.

But then it vanishes as quickly as it appeared. His eyes close and his cheek turns away. The look is gone. The softness becomes hardened. I feel his body tense and his hands grip mine tighter, almost painfully. What was almost, almost, a tender exchange only moments ago suddenly feels hostile. I feel the breath caught in my lungs with nerves. I do not understand what is going on inside of Nicandros' head, but there is a conflict waging war of some kind and I want nothing to do with it. I need to escape his hold on me, to get far away from him.

"My turn!" Ellete's light voice interrupts my dark worries as she attempts to take Nicandros' attention.

"Of course, you are also the birthday girl and should be dancing with the Lord," I say, attempting to eliminate any tension from my voice. My eyes seem to find Nicandros' on their own accord. His are inky black once again. This man is unnerving, infuriating and just so entitled! I latch onto my anger at him once again for creating such a whirlwind of emotions within me on what should be a happy occasion

All right, fine. I have already admitted that I always hate these parties. Nothing could make it a happy occasion, except for that divine chocolate cake.  I must get another piece before I leave. Usually, however, I find myself standing in the shadows, keeping to myself, and honestly bored out of my mind. I do not dance with brooding Lord's who deem to unnerve me with their dark eyes and sullen disposition.

"Ellete, have I told you how lovely you look tonight?" Nicandros is beaming as he looks upon my sister, who blushes in reply.

Where in the devil's name did this person come from? Why does Ellete get the angelic version of this man and I am left with the demon? The moment I take notice of the thoughts running through my mind, I stomp away, more mad at myself and my jealousy than at the evil Lord now dancing happily with my sister. I need cake. Which is exactly where I am headed, back to the cake table for more.

I am lucky enough to snatch another perfect piece of chocolate heaven. I am unlucky that Mrs. Naimer is also getting a piece of cake just as I take my first bite.

"Such a lovely pair they make, don't you think? It would be quite a nice step up for your family, after such dark times."

Why she still thinks I care about her comments is beyond me. Without saying a word, just giving her a phony smile and then turning away, I take my frosted happiness on a plate and walk directly to the solarium doors at the back of the hall. I continue to walk right through the solarium and out into the garden. There is a beautiful view of the fountain from a little bench and I intend to spend the rest of my obligatory party time on said bench. Alone at last, with just enough sounds of the party behind me to make the night seem magical, and the lights from the hall glittering off the solarium windows, I think to myself that I may have just salvaged this party after all.

See you tomorrow!