Pour

O "Fly On" // Coldplay

As I return home after a lovely afternoon in the village, my heart is full.  And yet, there is a heaviness that never quite goes away. It's different than the loss of my mother. Her absence has been more of a mystery. I can't understand it, or explain it. But Drue's absence still has a small flicker of hope. He wants to return. He told me in so many ways, not only with his words but with his look. I have to hold on to that knowledge.

I remember every moment I've spent with him over the last few months. Drue would have my arm wrapped around his in a very gentlemanly way as we walked. His manners and kindness seemed at odds with his appearance, ragged and worn.

The townspeople would have you think that the desolate and unfortunate of the world would wish to harm you. That they are to be feared, ignored, cast off. But Drue and the others in the village are anything but those horrible descriptions. It is not a shock to me. I have always had a place in my heart for those who are suffering. I have suffered in life as well, suffered with being looked down upon, talked about, left. I feel a strange kinship with those who are also hurting.

I remember the pressure from Drue's arm upon my own as pleasant. I felt comforted by it, in light of his announcement that he was leaving. I was afraid to ask him more about his plans, worried that it would be too soon and my heart would break.

It was and it did.

These feelings frightened me. I was taken aback to be this upset by Drue's impending departure.

I didn't want to lose the bit of hope that I'd finally found reflected in his gaze. Where would I find it if he went away?

As we continued walking that day, the day I knew was the beginning of the end of our time together, I asked, "Do you have a new story for me?" I needed a distraction from my thoughts. Our walk had become too quiet.

"Yes. It is the second half to another story I told you. The very first one." He'd continued his slow gait meandering this way and that through the trees with me by his side.

"The one about the king and his daughters? The ruler that gave the king's daughters horns?"

Drew looked at me with surprise, "You remembered." I can still picture his bright eyes as he regarded me.

I let my gaze linger on his for a few moments before looking away as I answered honestly. "I remember everything you've told me."

He nodded and turned his focus to the woods in front of us. A few steps more and he began weaving his tale.

"A young man had been kept hidden from the world because his father believed he was cursed." He spoke quietly even though the thick growth around us would muffle his voice.  "The curse stated that if the man ventured away from his home, he would marry a horned woman. The father hadn't wanted that fate to befall his only son, so he was never allowed to leave.

"Once the father died, the man made a decision to go out into the world and let fate decide, not wanting his whole life to be kept from him. Along the way, a poor traveler met him and pledged his loyalty as a servant to the man, sensing that he had a good heart. The servant told him about a king with three daughters, all with horns on their heads, and that he should marry the youngest of the three thereby inheriting the king's wealth. The man knew this to be his fate, so he agreed."

The memory of his words warms me. I touch my arm, remembering how Drue had taken me by the elbow, leading me gently around a fallen trunk as he continued on.

"Once he had married the daughter, the servant hit her horns with a stick, saying he was pushing the curse out of the girl. The horns fell off and the curse was broken, revealing a beautiful woman that the young man fell in love with, and she with him for marrying her even with the horns."

"Why do you tell such odd tales?" I'd  said with a laugh as Drue finished his story.

"Odd tales teach the best lessons." His voice was level and serious as he answered me. "Life is about learning, and I have wanted to learn it all."

"Something tells me you have." Drue rested his hand on top of mine as our arms were still entwined. We'd said nothing else for a few minutes, until Drue stopped and turned to me.

"Tell me, Lissa. What has been your greatest pain in this life?"

I was surprised by his question, but I also wondered if this was one of the lessons he wanted to learn. "When my mother left us," I'd said quietly. It was a difficult truth to admit. It may be the biggest truth I had never allowed myself to tell. Until that day, I hadn't spoken of it to anyone, including Drue.

"How did she leave?" His hand was still resting over mine, giving me comfort and courage to say the words. I knew trusting him was the right decision.

"I don't know. One evening she was working late in the bakery, perfecting a new recipe. My father, sister and I were at home for the night. He went to get her, to tell her to come home to bed, but she was gone. We never saw her again." My voice broke.

Drew's hand gripped mine as he listened. "But that isn't what's hurt you the most, is it?"

My eyes shot to his, surprised at his intuition. "No, it isn't." Before I continued, I glanced away from his intense gaze. "The rumors were worse than her leaving us. The rumors have been the hardest to ignore."

Drew had a knowing look in his eyes. Those eyes that had always drawn me in beyond his weathered and road worn appearance. During his time with me he had seemed less disheveled, less tattered. His clothes were as worn through as they were from the first day. His beard as long and full as before. But I saw past all of that, right to the heart of the man standing before me. I ached to think he would be gone soon. Even then, with him standing in my presence I wondered what I would do without him.

"Will you share the rumors with me, too?" he asked quietly, still holding my gaze. I knew what he was saying: will you trust me with your pain, Lissa? I wanted to, and I thought my pain was safe within his hands. But speaking about the accusations people of this town had made...I wasn't ready.

So I pulled my eyes from his, looking down at his hand as it still held mine. "Soon, but not today. Not yet." I felt Drew nod in understanding, but I also sensed disappointment.

"It's time for you to be getting back to your bakery. Walk with me to the village so you can say goodbye to Jaquline and her mother."

I nodded, hoping the wall I just put up between us wasn't too difficult to tear back down when the time came.

Shaking my head as I walk, I return to the bakery. Even so, my memories of Drue and his tales are thick and heavy with the knowledge that the wall had been too difficult to tear down after all.

Thank you for reading! On to more tomorrow...