Serve

With Or Without You // U2

There is no bell on the door to alert anyone within that someone has entered the back of the bakery. However, the door hinges have always been louder than a bell. The squeak rings through the kitchen at my entrance.

"Back from deliveries so soon?" My father's voice breaks the silence of the kitchen. "Good. I have another ready. Mrs. Naimer is expecting her baguettes."

"Why have you insisted on treating that woman with such respect when she has done nothing but disrespect my mother over the years?" I ask with burning anger, no longer able to give my father deference on the matter. He turns suddenly at my voice, shock mixed with clarity in his eyes. My anger did not go unnoticed.

"Daralis...You've come back!" Father ignores my question. I also see fear in his eyes. I wonder if he realizes I've discovered his secret. Before I say another word, however, his gaze moves to Drue standing behind me. I watch as Father's eyes narrow in disgust.

"You. I should have known you were behind her disappearance." Father takes a step towards us but I put my hand up, pausing him in his tracks.

"Do not blame Drue. I was you who's deceived me for years. Drue is the one who has freed me from the bonds you put into place."

Father's mouth falls slack. Shock fills his eyes. The color drains from his face as he takes a step back. He cannot escape this reality and hide behind his bread, charmed as it may be. Now I understand the implication of our bakery's name, The Charmed Crust.

I am disgusted.

"Bonds?" He can barely get the word out. "No...no I-"

But I cut him off before he can continue. Before he can insult me with his lies. "Yes, Father. Lies are chains, keeping the believer in bondage. You have lied to me my entire life. But no longer, because now I know the truth." I glare at my father much the way I desired to glare at Drue's. I held myself back in the dwelling, needing to play the master's game in order to gain my freedom. I am not playing a game this time, so I allow every emotion to be present in this kitchen.

My father stands, speechless, in front of the oven, the entire reason for his life of lies. Was his need for success so strong he was willing to give away his own daughter? Ellete can't possibly know what had been arranged for her.

"Were you ever going to tell her?" I whisper the words. Drue's hand comes to rest on my shoulder in silent comfort and support. I realize in this horrible moment that he is the only support I need, and I cherish his willingness to be here.

Father trembles, wringing his hands with the rag he'd been holding. His eyes downcast on his worrying fingers as he shakes his head. "You have no idea how devastated I've been. How hard these years have been on me. To lose the love of your life to one so wicked and have no way to get her back." His eyes rise to meet mine, pleading. "I never meant to hurt any of you. I had no idea the depths he would reach to ruin us."

"Father, you sold your family to a monster, for bread!" I spit the accusation at him and watch as the words find their target. His eyes widen.

"What? Is that what you..." He stammers for a moment. "Who told you that?"

My brows furrow in confusion. "Why keep the lie now, Father? I know the story. How you made a deal for this oven, the very oven kept by the master in the high dwelling where my mother has been kept as a cook." I pause before I lay the final blow. "And where she's caged as a bird while he is away."

Father cries in earnest now, unbidden and sobbing. "No! That was the very fate I was trying to stop. But I couldn't, no matter the decision I made." Father's tears spill down his cheeks. He brings the rag to his face and sobs openly.

"What decision, Father? What are you saying?" My heart races as I wonder if there could possibly be a different tale then the one Drue spoke of. I turn back to look at him in silent question and am stunned to find that he seems as taken aback as I.

Drue wraps a protective arm around my waist as he begins to speak. "I was there, the night my father brought your wife to our dwelling as a bird. He told me that he was taking what belonged to him, rightfully. That he'd made a bargain with you, for a favor, and that he'd taken her as payment."

My father shakes his head. "No. Never a bargain. I didn't know."

I turn to the work table and grab a pitcher of water, pouring some into a cup. Then I cross the room and hand the cup to Father, urging him to drink. Drue pulls a stool over to where we stand. We settle Father onto it, relieving his shaking limbs.

"Tell me, " I say gently, wanting him to explain.

He nods his head, taking another draw from the cup before speaking. "Before Ellete was born, when your mother and I were just married and starting the bakery, a man came in to sample our fresh rosemary loaf. Your mother served him while I was working back here. She was very charming, your mother. Good with customers, like Ellete. I could hear their chatter, and your mother's laughter. The man asked many questions about our bakery, about her recipes after he discovered that she had baked the bread. He seemed impressed as he went on his way and the two of us thought nothing more of it.

"Days later, I was working alone when he came again. He wondered about our oven, if it was wood burning, and how efficient it was. I brought him into the kitchen to show him." Father shakes his head again in silence. "We had taken over the bakery from your mother's parents, as you know, before they passed away. I wanted your Grandfather to think highly of me, as he never believed I was good enough for his daughter." Father looks up at Drue. "I now understand his sentiment. And realize I could never have lived up to his expectations, no matter how I tried."

Drue nods in understanding. But how my father wouldn't believe that Drue is more than enough...I'll never understand.

"Your mother was a shining light. I was drawn to her the moment I laid eyes upon her. And she loved me back, which felt like a dream. She couldn't possibly love me as intensely as I loved her. It was because I wanted to prove myself to her that I made such a wretched arrangement." He catches my eyes, his own still pleading for me to believe him. "I never agreed to offer Ellete. I never agreed for your mother to go with him. I would never..." His voice cracks on the last word. Swallowing and squaring his shoulders, Father continues. "He wanted to invest in the bakery, saying that our breads would rival that of any other bakery if we had proper equipment. The oven was his, but he wanted no one to realize he had a hand in the business, so we made it seem as though I tinkered it. He brought a few pieces each week with instructions on its assembly.

"For a few years, everything was fine. He would come by now and then and talk with your mother. She would give him bread for his part in our success."

"Wait, mother knew he was the source of the oven?" I ask.

Father nods. "Yes, she knew. We were partners, equally. I didn't keep that from her. But we both agreed to not speak of Ukko's part in our business to anyone else."

Ukko. My very blood recoiled at the name.

Drue's father.

The master of the realm.

The cruel ruler.

"Just before your mother was with child, carrying Ellete, his other desires became clear." Father takes a deep breath. "He wanted to take her away, and said it was his right because he had granted us such power." Father gestures to the oven. "It is more than simply an oven, but I had no understanding of such things before. So blind were we in that arrangement. He made threats, how he could ruin us or change us. And he made a demonstration so we would know of his power. He snapped his fingers and your mother was a bird. She flew to him and settled right on his outstretched hand. He glared at me in contempt and said I did not deserve her.

"I knew he was right, I didn't. But I was desperate so I offered him anything he wanted, anything else just so I wouldn't lose her. While she was still a bird, I made a promise to give him whatever it was he asked for. But he didn't make his demands that day. He told me that he would return when the time came."

I look at Drue and see my emotions reflected in his eyes.

Horror.

See you soon!