John^^^

February 27, 2017

I am a housewife.

No longer am I the boss. I do not control my own business. Control is something I no longer have, but the cravings are still so strong.

I only deal with the small world that exists within this house. I clean, I cook, and I wash everyones clothes. This is what my life has been reduced to over the past years. It did not bother me in the beginning. I loved staying home with my small children. Now that they are no longer small, and I find it lonely also boring. Trying to rule over a invisible land.

Over the past year I have thrown myself into the house work. It keep me from going crazy with boredom. I lose my self in the process of cooking. Keeping the timing of each part of the meal so I will know when it will be done. So it will be hot when it reaches the table. This is my job, and I don't need him complaining about a cold meal..

As I go through this process my mind drifted back to the past. I can't help the smile as I think about Sandy and her sub. Bull was such a fine man tall well built. Nothing like Griffin with his lean body. Bull's bulky arms, and tall frame made my mouth water. He was of the few men that was taller than me.

Now, there is only one man that I know, taller than myself. One that make me remember who I was once. The one that makes my blood run hot. John, the long time vice-president of the bike club. I look out the window over my kitchen sink at the men gathered in my back yard.

There under a live oak trees in our back yard three of the club members are talking with Griffin. One of which is John, even sitting in one of the bulky adirondack chairs his long body makes the others look like children. Especially Griffin, I can't believe how my feelings have changed. I curse under my breath as I see Griffin rise from his chair and start walking to the back door. I can no longer stand and ogle John. So I turn away.

My son comes in the kitchen. His beautiful green eyes are sleepy from his nap after school."what's for supper?" His voice is ruff from sleep. A nap is the first thing he does when he comes home from school. Every sense he became a teenager he forever sleeping.

The man I married walks in and makes his way to the down stairs bathroom. He stops long enough to sneer at my son. "Get out of the kitchen so your mom can cook" He turns his heated eyes to me. "Set another place, John is staying."

I give his a pleasant smile and nod. This information does not bother me. It only gives me the time to view the type of man I know Griffin will never be. "Sure that's not a problem." Griffin give me a look, one that tells me he is not sure what to think of me and my sudden happy smile. This look he has makes me smile brighter. I turn back to my son to answer his question.

"Fried chicken, mac and cheese." I say to Donny. I press a cold hand to my sweet boys face. He remains me so much of my dad. He has grown so tall, and handsome. He even has many of my dad's mannerisms.

"K" he move out of the kitchen and back to his room. His hide out. The place he stays so he doesn't have to deal with Griffin's bad mood. We have all gotten good at avoiding his mood swings.

As I set John's plate on the table one of Sandy's lessons comes back to me. I remember her telling me how to recognize a submissive male. Give orders, do not be afraid to push a male around. If he wants to be dominanted he will respond. You just have to look for the signs.

As John and Griffin meet me back in the kitchen I take that first small step in testing John. "Wash up, before the food gets cold." I order. Griffin huff angrily by, and pays me no attention. He merely walks by me without even looking my way.

John on the other hand quickly steps to the kitchen sink and washes his hands. As he walks by I give his a quiet good boy and a soft pat on the back. I watch as his whole body shutter. The action is so quick that if you did not know what to look for you would have missed it.

For the rest of the meal I push John in other ways. Dishing food I want him to eat on his plate. Reminding him ask if he needs something. He sends me many shy smiles and quite thank you's His response to me are the best.

What amazed me the most was not John's 's reactions, but Griffin's lack of reaction. He ate his food, talked with John and Donny. He only spoke to me when he wanted more. It's as if I was no more than his personal maid. A servant here only to cater to his needs.

Every time he ordered me to get him something John's eyes would grow a dark stormy blue. I even found myself stopping him from speaking up with a quick shake of my head about Griffin treatment of me. I would only have to give a heated look in John's direction, and he would back down.

After the meal John leaves to head to his place. He hesitates briefly at the door to thank me for the meal as Griffin walks him out. There is something in dark his eyes that makes my heart flutter. It is gone before I can question what it may have been. Griffin makes a show of claiming me by hanging a arm over my shoulder. John can only nod and leave.

Once my son has gone to his room I am left to deal with only Griffin. I walk out of the kitchen to go to rest in my chair maybe escape in one of my old books on dominance that I dug out of storage. Griffin slaps my ass. I can only think is this is the man who not two hours ago could have killed me with his eyes. Now he wants to play....

That means that we will have sex tonight. The thought sickening me. I'm not sure when I started hating his touch. We once looked like the perfect couple. We where loving once and now nothing he does in bed turns me on. I am no longer satisfied with being the bottom he has turned me into.

How can I keep doing this? How much more can I take?

Griffin grabs my hand pulls me down into his lap. During the next four hours I endure a wide array of gropes, fondling, and kissing. He thinks all of this is fun. I try my best to hide my repulsion.

I know my time is growing short. He will be ready to sleep soon. When he pushes me to my feet and gives me one more pat on the ass the dread churns within me. That's it....I'm out of time. How I hate his touch.

This is part of my job.

When I wake to the sound of the alarm. I find myself alone in the bed. Griffin leaves just after sex. He never stays in bed after. It's like he can't stand to be in the same room after we have sex. He would rather sleep on the couch or anywhere else for that matter. Even in another's arms.

I get up to find him watching the morring news. He has his coffee. He barely acknowledge me as I move to my chair..

We sit and watch TV never uttering a word to one another until it's time to wake my son to get ready for school. I wake him up so he will not be late. Donny is up and ready in no time at all." I'm out" He makes his way out to his sports rod 780 without another word. I know he can feel the cold atmosphere in this house it is unbearable.

I hate that my son has to be in the middle of this. I am just thankful my daughter has got out. So glad she has a good man. I pray that 20 years down the line she doesn't feel the same way I do..

"Make toast, I need to eat" I stand up to do as he said. The sooner he eats the sooner he will go to the shop, and I will be alone in the house.

Because he is his own boss he can go in at any time. The bike shop was his baby. He was a genius when it came to the rebuild or restoring of motorcycles. I remember a time when I was the genius. I was the boss.

He leaves me with his orders on what for lunch and dinner. "And make sure you're not damn late today." His eyes are almost black with anger. He always wants me to bring his lunch to the shop. In the beginning it was so we could spend time together. Now it feels like he does it to keep tabs on me.

I can't even fake the fear anymore. Somehow he knows he losing the battle I stand and look him straight in the eyes. He holds eye contact with me. I can see the moment he realizes this stare down between us as a challenge ...."you need to remember your place." He huffs out and with that he turns to leave. What he no longer understand is I remember what my place use to be. I was on top once.

There was a time when he would never leave without kissing me and tell he loved me. Now he he barely looks my way. I can't stand the way he treats me now. The one thing that keeps me happy through out my day is remembering is yesterdays meal and John's reaction to me.

It keeps me smiling for the rest of my day. I think I found what I need to get me through the coming storm. The small shy smile on John's face and his beautiful blue eyes.