Ford : When my friends and I stick together there's
nothing we can't do.
And when I say that I specifically mean we're gonna to stage a coup.

Fidds : With the power of our gossip giggles
We'll storm the Pentagon!

Stan : Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas
On the White House lawn.

Ford, Fidds and Stan : We're going to braid each other's hair,
Then cut each other's braids,
Connect the braids, to build a rope
To hang all of Congress!

Squad goals!

Stan : Stay together forever!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Squad goals!

Fidds : Take control of the banks!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Squad goals!

Ford : Don't let anyone come between us
If they does shoot them in the head!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Friendtopia!
A dystopia around our friendship!
Friendtopia!
Our manifesto is fun!
Zig-a-zow!

Ford : Now that we have total control get ready for what's in store!
Our reign will be like "Sweet Valley High" meets "1984"!

Stan : When one of us gets dumped that becomes Memorial Day
All agriculture will be diverted into making us Rosé.

Fidds : There's a really exclusive sushi place that never let's us in.
So when we don't get in we say:

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Let's just go home and drink Rosé

Roll call!

Stanford!

Ford : The brainy one!
Head of censorship and mind control!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Fiddleford!

Fidds : The cool one!
I put drugs in the water supply!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Stanley!

Stan : The sexy one!
Czar of torture!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Friendtopia!
We nostalgically watch "Hocus Pocus"!
Friendtopia!

Fidds : Aw, I love "Hocus Pocus"!

Ford, Fidds and Stan : Friendtopia!
All citizens much watch "Hocus Pocus"!
Friendtopia!
Or they will be killed!
Zig-a-zow!