key in case y'all forgot
Bee - Bee
Harley - ya demigirl
Asteri - Aster
Sappho - Saph
Achilles - Ekko
Nate - Nate
Altar, Acadia, Mars and Juno - irl friends
Circe - will somebody please just get me a witch girlfriend

Harley : don't worry, I have a plan

Nate : oh yeah, what is it?

Harley : sword

Nate : BRILLIANT

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Asteri : woah dude, premarital hand holding? that's just not cool or groovy

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Acadia : Harley's gonna kill me

Nate : no, they'll probably make me do it

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Nate : can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?

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Altar : do you have any idea what you're doing?

Achilles : why start now?

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Asteri : may luck (and this picture of Achilles eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you

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Circe : why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?

Mars : Harley is the scariest thing I could think of

Harley : Mars told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible

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Harley : I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch"

Juno : I see you're passing on your name

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Harley : you're charged with.....breaking into a pet store?

Mars : I thought the animals might be lonely

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Nate : I'm going to ask you to be respectful

Altar : I will politely decline

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Circe : you made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. put it in a container.

Altar : shovel the pasta into your face. do it. put it in your face. the future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

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Mars : I'm really into guys and girls but I'm also really into cantaloupe

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Sappho : you can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

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Harley : *walks into the room*

Nate : she's covered in blood again. why is she always covered in blood?

Circe : well, it looks like it's her own blood this time

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all of them after the second book : I don't think the therapist is supposed to say 'wow' that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are

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Harley : I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way

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Juno : do not come over to my house. if the house is on fire you may knock once and if I don't answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

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Altar : it's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. you've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

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Acadia : she's the girl of my dreams!

Bee : you say every girl is the girl of your dreams

Acadia : I have a lot of dreams!

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Harley : bro-

Circe : no, no, hold up, rewind

Circe : my tongue was down your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

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Altar : am I a boy? am I a girl? it doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

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Sappho : I know what you're up to, Achilles

Achilles : really? because I barely know

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this could work for anyone tbh : I'd like to live through a week that's not a whole new verse of "We Didn't Start the Fire"

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cop : you're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle

Achilles, with Sappho and Harley behind him : wait, what do you mean THREE?!

cop : yes...three

Achilles : oh my Weslo- what the fuck!?

cop : wha-

Achilles : Bee FUCKING FELL OFF!

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Nate : you look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river

Harley : wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. big difference.