I Could Think of...

I could think of...

a thousand reasons to shred the veil of the "good of humanity"

countless tears shed for those who abandoned or betrayed me

periods of despair, when the car running in the closed garage beckoned

calls to my life insurance company, determining when the suicide clause expired

days when no human affirmation appeared

days without feeling, days of numbness when I disappeared

I could think of...

a God who never stopped chasing me through the bonfires of hell

a love that reached with bigger hands that could not fail to apprehend

my disheveled shell of a soul

a God that forgave my worst, reprehensible, death-deserving sins

the love a wife that endured through the desert of my life

the love of daughter and grandkids that never fail to bring joy

a thankful heart from a condemned soul redeemed and filled

with gratitude beyond the smile that pervades my face

expressing love and spilling over to the world passing my gaze

A/N: Written for Contest 8, @ThePoeticRose on Gratitude -- thanks to @Alabama_forever for thinking about me. Also, btw this poem is compilation of my own thoughts and others that I know about who have been through the dark places of the soul and redeemed by a loving God. May this serve as a prayer to all who are suffering in silence with the most horrific of feelings; may you find the place where you can smile with gratitude that transcends all understanding.