—chapter sixteen.

  ❛ i can't let you see my monsters;
because i don't want them to
cut you too. ❜

ELODIE DID NOT TELL DIEGO WHAT HAPPENED, at the police station.

Actually, she said absolutely nothing, aside from several sorry's and mumbles of thanks, and more incomprehensible garbles into his sweater sleeve. They had remained like that for longer than Elodie would realise, tangled up on the couch and his hand stroking through her hair. And eventually, exhausted by her crying and over-exerted brain, Elodie fell asleep.

But unfortunately, her dreams would not offer an escape.

Matialli regathered her papers and folded them back into her purse. Her long, mahogany finger nails gritted against the bag's faux leather; it grated, but Elodie bore it, too eager to leave to gripe.

Her eyes jumped up to the clock on the wall. She still had time, more than enough to get to their meeting spot. She would be fine. 

"I suppose if that's all, then-"

"--actually, my dear."

Elodie's gaze fell back down to the table. Her heart sank.

"I'd love a word with my daughter, if that's possible? Just her and I."

The world spun, and Elodie had to fight to stay upright in her chair. She clung to the table, only to find her fingers were practically pushing their way through the plastic, melting it in her steel grip. How had she not noticed? Had anyone else just seen what she did? Or were they whirling, too?

When Elodie looked around, though, she was alone, and the room had gone completely dark. She could hear the faint clicks of heels smacking the pavement, but she could not pin-point where the sound came from; the darkness pressed too close. Voices murmured around her, but even they were moving, and whispering away and then back again before Elodie could really figure out where anyone was.

But then a light went on. A single lightbulb hung from the darkness, like a cheap horror movie she had seen when she was younger. It illuminated the sallow skin of her father, glinting off the fangs that he had managed to grow in the moments of darkness.

"My sweet girl," he crooned, devilish and low. His hands had become freed somehow; they gestured for her, and she felt herself draw near again. "My sweet, sweet Lola. I don't think I ever got to thank you, you know."

"S-stop," she croaked. Her throat ached from the single word; she clawed at the skin, desperate to speak again, but the muscles had froze up. She was powerless.

"You're doing me a great favour, and I won't forget that. And soon...very soon, we can go back to the life we had before...the happy family, reunited again."

"N....n...no..."

He smiled bigger, a monstrous being built of shadows and his own shames. "Things will go back to the way they were before. With you, and me...and oh, my dear Ellis. All of us again."

"No," she rasped, still scratching at her throat muscles to release the words. "Never...you'll never have him..."

"Foolish girl. You think so little of the best in your life, the ones who look to help you out of the darkness...you really need to open up your heart to trust again..."

She shirked away from his hands with a sob. "Don't touch me. Don't fu...cking touch me."

"If that's how it'll be," he sighed, though his devilish grin never left. Her father sank back into his chair and leant back, clasping his hands behind his head. "You know, I remembered something, after our last visit."

Elodie fought to respond, but could only let out a miserable squeak.

He laughed lowly. "Save your pretty voice. I'll do the talking now."

And as though his words had paralysed her in her place, Elodie had no choice but to obey him, frozen in her seat with nothing to say.

"Do you remember Bunny?" When she didn't respond, her father chuckled again. "Right. I forgot! It's my turn."

Elodie's eyes darted about, searching for anyone to get her out; Matialli, Patch, anybody to save her from her hell. Had Patch left? She had to still be here. She had only heard one set of footsteps leaving, and the shoes had a distinctive sound against the floors. She would have heard the --

"You guys were so close when you were little. It was adorable, frankly; you were inseparable, and I still remember how you cried whenever you had to leave her house. So...so, sweet."

Elodie struggled in her invisible bonds. She fought to speak, cry, run far away from this torment -- but she remained helpless, rendered defenseless by his voice alone. And she knew this could not be real, but couldn't it? Dark rooms and fangs for teeth didn't slip far away from the man she knew. What if this was real and it was his turn to play god?

"Do you remember what happened, to dear Bunny Hopkins?"

She didn't. She did not know a Bunny, she had no friends but--

--blonde hair, pink and purple braces. Shorter than her. A tinkling laugh, the way she had danced in the mirror and begged for her friend to join in --

"--you remember Bunny. You remember her."

And she did. The girl with gorgeous eyes and who was always cold, even in the summertime. Elodie's polar opposite and her first, and maybe only, friend through elementary school. But -- she couldn't remember it all, not where the smiling girl went...

"You were always special to me, Lola," her father crooned. His fingers wriggled through the air, a complex dance of shapes that meant nothing to her. "But Bunny...Bunny didn't know how special you were. And she didn't understand you. I told you that she would never understand you!"

Elodie whimpered.

"I told you not to trust her. That she was evil, that you couldn't trust girls like her -- but one day you didn't listen to me and you showed her just how special you were. Do you remember, Lola?"

No. No, she didn't -- but did she? It was hot, stifling so, and Bunny was smiling -- until she wasn't -- she wasn't smiling anymore, she was screaming, and yelling something awful -- Elodie just wanted her to stop, she wanted her to stop and believe her -- why wouldn't she stop screaming?!

"She didn't believe you. Which," he chuckled, "I don't necessarily blame her for -- normal beings aren't so fast to believe in the magic of life. And you got to fighting, and then you decided, oh you decided to prove to her just how special you really were."

Elodie wriggled in his hold. "No...no...stop..."

His hands joined together and then exploded out, wriggling for effect. "You lost control and well, poor little Bunny Hopkins just had to believe you then, didn't she? Didn't she!?"

"I didn't kill her!"

"Kill her? Oh, no, you didn't kill her!" Her father laughed, then snapped his fingers. "Bunny, you didn't die, right?"

And beside the man appeared a little girl, but she wasn't smiling. Elodie watched in horror as the girl's skin warped and burned, melting into horrific scars that radiated up her arms. Her face was blank despite the malicious burns sneaking up her skin -- like she didn't feel it at all.

"I didn't...I didn't," Elodie gasped, struggling to get her thoughts straight. "That wasn't me! I didn't do that!"

"And why not?"

She couldn't give him an answer. She couldn't even remember it, past Bunny's screams of anger towards her 'lying friend'. But the burns were there, and the girl was too, and her father couldn't have --

"Of course, that caused some problems for me, but I dealt with it. I always dealt with it, for your sake. You know I'd do anything for you, my Lola."

She strained away from his reaching hands, gasping as his own took hold of her burning fingers. "Stop - I didn't -"

"You're a weapon, and a beautiful one. These?" He held up her glowing fingers. "The world gave me these, gave me you, rewarded me for what I had already did. And you know I had been scared before that the universe might have been wrong about you, but I suppose all it took was one little bitty tantrum. And -- poof!"

"No--"

"And your mother never got it. No, never. She fought with me so damn much, it was annoying...I swear, that woman was the devil reincarnate." He dropped her hand to press his own to his forehead, miming a headache. "She would steal you away, you know, and take you away for hours -- I'd search the city for you, and I would always get you back, but...well, you know that woman had a stubborn streak. It was so, so--"

"--stop it--"

"--goddamn ANNOYING--"

"--stop it--"

"--but regardless, she never succeeded in getting you away from me. She never took your gift away, no matter how that bitch tried. And," he sighed dramatically, "tried she did."

Tears dripped freely, spilling over Elodie's lips and down her chin. "Mom..."

"I couldn't let her take my little girl away."

"Mom..."

His expression suddenly morphed. His fist slammed against the table; Elodie jumped at the force of it. He had left his pretense of humour behind, dropping the mask for a grotesque face of pus, fangs and glowing eyes, a monster in every right of itself. It didn't even look real, and was it? Was he -- her father was a wildcard, but--

"She's gone!" He screamed, higher than she had ever heard him in his life. "Gone! GONE! GONE! You're mine, and she's GONE!"

"Stop, please--"

"--you're mine. MINE! You psycho bitch, you're my weapon and you'll never have her back!"

He let out a ferocious roar and in one fell swoop, swung the table out into the inky black around them. Elodie stumbled back and onto her back, steadied only by her hands. She gulped up at the monster above her. He was huge, and pulsing with anger, built of red and black and scales like a mythological beast.

"You're MINE! Forever, MINE!" He roared again. "No matter what you try, you will always be your father's daughter, you fool! MINE! MINE! MINE!"

Elodie's body shook in Diego's embrace, still lost in the nightmare. She shuffled closer to the source of warmth in an effort to escape the cold, but all she could feel was his cold claws dragging her down with him. She clutched blindly at soft fabric and held tight to anchor herself. But the dreams still pulled, and she went with them, screaming as she did (though barely murmurs in the real world).

The monster had her then, trapped in his claws as he both berated and triumphed her. Memories flitting and stabbed at her sides, her mother's face and Ellis' and little Bunny Hopkins, jabbing and sneering at her tears. Hideous roars filled the darkness and she couldn't see through the screams -- both his and her own.

His eyes glared her down, freezing her in his claws. He held her mother's screaming form and then tossed her freely, leaving Elodie screaming and begging for relief, only there was nothing but darkness and his screams and hideous, grotesque attempts at laughter, drilling through her eardrums until she was sure they were burst and bleeding. He shouted her name like a curse, and reminded her that she would always, always, always, always, always, always, be--

"--Elodie!"

Her eyes snapped open and Elodie sat up with a start. Only then, as her eyes readjusted to light and the nightmare faded away, did she realise the state she was in. Her body was oddly cold, but sweating and trembling like a sapling in a storm. She glanced down at her hands, then feeling at her face, her fingers leaving wet. She had been crying, seemingly hard from the way her eyes burned.

Elodie glanced to her right to see Diego still beside her. He must have been trying to wake her up for a while, because he looked relieved and quite a bit perplexed. One hand rested on her arm, the other still half draped from where he had curled it around her waist. She realised then that it was barely nightfall and they had fallen asleep on the couch when she had been...crying.

The events of the past afternoon flooded back, and Elodie shuddered. She ignored his concerned question and ran a hand down her tear-streaked face. Her fingers came back stained with black, but she just wiped it on her pants and ignored the mess made.

"M'sorry," she mumbled. "Didn't mean it -- crap, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay."

She snorted mirthlessly. "Not really. I don't know what I was doing, it's - it's been a long day, I was out of it."

"Really, it's-"

"-sorry. I'm getting up. Um, you can leave if you want, I'll just fix myself-"

"-nah, come on-"

Elodie moved to get up, but before she could Diego was grabbing at her waist and pulling her back. Even when she protested, he was holding her down, moving to almost cuddle her against the couch. His touch was soft but firm and she knew he wasn't really trying to hurt her, only to stop her from making a worse mistake.

"What the fu-"

"-just let yourself calm down," he grumbled. He loosened his grip but still held her close. If she wasn't so panicked at the display of vulnerability, she would be grateful - but nothing but fear and worry at what he thought of her could be felt then. "Sit your ass down and wake up before you get too worked up."

"Get off me."

"No."

"Diego."

"M'comfortable."

"Get off me."

"Calm down, first -- dammit, do not start a fight with me right now!" 

But Elodie still thrashed in his arms, tugging and trying to get away as hard as she could. Diego held her calmly but firmly, locked around her abdomen and forcing her to stay as still as possible. Even as she grew warmer, and angrier, even as she boiled over like a pot of water, he held tight.

She would wonder about that, later on.

Finally, when her writhing got too much, he loosened his grip for for only a moment -- but she only needed one to bolt away. Before Diego could tug her back, Elodie was racing away, slipping around the corner like she was a child again. She felt the darkness claw at her skin as he had in her dream, tugging her back and it was all she could do to not give in. She threw herself into her bedroom and slammed the door, flipping on the light switch before she could get swallowed up.

Diego fell against the door frame, thumping angrily. "Elodie? Elodie, come on, don't do this."

"Get out of my apartment," she shouted back, voice still thick from tears. "Go home, do whatever you wanna do, just -- go away!"

"I'm not just gonna leave you."

"Yes, you will."

"You didn't leave me, and I'm not gonna do it to you. Just...come on, baby."

"You want me to call the police, tell them this stranger's trespassing on my property?"

A small, mirthless chuckle floated from the other side of the door, followed by a soft thump of some sort of weight hitting the wood. "I'm good with the cops. Good luck."

"I fucking doubt that."

"You wanna try n'find out?"

But Elodie said nothing to that. She just stared at the door, right through as though to see him sunken down to sit against it, and tried not to let her sobs be too loud on her end.

The nightmarish form of her monster-father hybrid still clung to her skin, ripping at her hair and burning through her fireproof skin. She couldn't shake it, and she was too tired to force it off. She just stood still, alone in the tiny bedroom sobbing and silently wishing she didn't do this to herself.

She had always been able to combat the traditional fears of a child -- monsters in the closet or under her bed had no effect on her, and neither did the screams of zombies or skeletons or great big purple hairy beings with no eyes. Her dreams were reality and no matter what form they took, it was still some kind of reality. Her father, and fire, and screams, and the fact that she could never, ever run no matter how she tried. They were always there...

...and that time, they were going to ruin the one relationship she had actually wanted to keep.

She desperately wanted to let Diego in. It was selfish but she wanted to let him hold her again so she could cry into his shoulder and lament about the horrors of her childhood. A part of her felt that if anyone could, it would be him that would understand the nightmares, considering what he had had to go through, too. She wanted him to hold her as she had him, and let herself melt again.

Elodie snorted back her tears and wiped at her nose. She shifted a little closer to the door.

"Go home, Diego." Her voice was hoarse and cracking.

He paused, shuffled behind the door, then shot back a simple, "no."

"We can hang out tomorrow. Come by after work, it'll all be good then, we'll do what we always do."

"I'm not just gonna use you like that. Not gonna fucking leave you in this state."

"I want you to," she cried. "It's fine. We'll pick this up another night when I'm in a better mood."

"God, 'Lodie, stop this."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Please, I - I - I don't want to just sleep with you and leave you."

"Just go home."

"No."

"Please."

"I'll cut the door down."

"Fuck you."

Instead of a response, all Elodie heard was him shuffling on the other end. Sounds of footsteps and something grating, then the doorknob rattling in its place. She just stood silently with her heart in her throat, listening to the rattling and his soft curses.

The door opened.

She stared at him, chest heaving and tears still dripping down. Her lips quivered and a sob echoed through the room when she couldn't hold it back. Though her guard was up and she would be damned to give up just like that, the selfish desire dug at her resolve and dragged her forward to him.

"You don't have to tell me about it," Diego mumbled. He had dropped his knife, leaving his hands free. He extended them cautiously as though holding them out to a wounded animal. His face was soft and sad, weariness staining his features but still keeping him so beautiful. Even more, if that was possible. "Just...I-I-I don't know what you need. But if I can h-h...help..."

"...I'm sorry."

"Don't say that."

Elodie sniffled and sighed. "I am, though. You shouldn't have to put up with this shit."

"You put up with my shit...without hesi -- without pause. I-I-I wanna be there for you, at least o-o-one time."

She hung her head, dipped her gaze to the ground so maybe as her fight died within her, she did not have to see her shame reflected in his eyes. "Okay."

"Okay?"

She glanced back up. Her tears picked up again. She found herself unable to speak again, and simply shuffled over to where he stood. Slowly, her arms found his side and he did the same, letting her cling to him. 

Moments passed of silence and standing there, before the dams broke.

They fell to the floor almost in sync as she cried, struggling through the memories of the foul beast, her father. And all the while, he held her. Did not say a thing, did not really do much more than pressing his hands into her back and occasionally rubbing them down, a semi-comforting gesture to push the tears away, but he was there and he held her, let her cry into his sweater sleeve at way too late an hour to be reasonable awake at.

Her tears stopped soon after that, but they still sat there, her half on his lap with her legs draped across the cold floor. Her hands, burning with pain, had found their way back to her pockets, but his still caressed her skin without care. And with her head on his shoulder and his lips brushing against her forehead, they lay.

And the selfish part of Elodie's heart sang, and the rest despised its cry. It begged for the noise to stop, but despite all attempts and hatred, the heart still loved his touch.

Loved, him.

EDITED NOTE -- Buckle up for a long note that's prolly important to read, cause we've got two issues on the table (half-baked Hamilton reference only half intended).

Reading through this, I'm realising I never elaborated on just who Elodie's dad was. And some of that will remain the same, but I do want to make sure that he's actually a formidable being and not just some dude in jail. And obviously, the whole monster thing was just her nightmare (probably) but the rest of it is built off actual memories and not just her dreamscape.

Her father (and again, it'll be elaborated on later dw) has had a long-standing history with illegal business, essentially using them to build his own group in an attempt to gain power. It's with these illegal business connections that he's not been in jail before + why it's so easy for him to get out now. And he had wanted to use Elodie as his own secret weapon, seeing her abilities (which were much more prominent as a kid) and how useful she would be. Sort of similar to Reginald, only this was all in secret and well, he wasn't so good at training like Reggie was.

Though still, fuck Reginald Hargreeves. Fuck both Dad's.

Also -- I don't condone necessarily a relationship where both parties (or one) are severely emotionally struggling without trying to get better. It's not healthy and that will be explained later on into the book, but while you can love someone and not even mean to hurt them, if you're both struggling mentally, it's really hard to support one another in a good way. Again, that'll be brought up later, but I just wanted that detail said now.

On that note, I really love this chapter. And them. 

Thank you for reading; let me know what you thought. :)