"Ang gaganda talaga ng mga De Salvo!"

Napaangat ako ng tingin kay Dumas nang bigla na lang niyang bitawan ang hose na ginagamit sa pagpapaligo ng kabayo. I hissed inwardly at his recklessness, dahil sa ginawa niya ay nabasa ang damit ko, nagulat pa ang kabayo at muntik magwala kung hindi ko lang agad nailapat ang aking kamay sa leeg nito.

"Dumas, mag-ingat ka." Kalmado kong sita sa kaniya kahit pa ngayon ay pinoproblema ko na kung paano patutuyuin ang damit ko.

Kalahating oras lang ang meron ako bago ang interview ko sa SDL Air. I needed to get into their scholarship program if I wanted to change my life for the better. Kung hindi lang nakiusap sa akin si Uncle Roy na tulungan si Dumas sa pagpapaligo sa mga kabayo ay kanina pa ako nakaalis. Hindi ako makatanggi. Hindi ko masabi rito na hindi sana ako puwede dahil nga sa interview. Masyadong mabuti si Uncle Roy sa akin para hindi ko pagbigyan ang anumang hihilingn nito.

Naisip kong kaya naman ito... Madali lang na matatapos at nakabihis na rin naman ako. Kung may mababasa man ay laylayan lang ng pantalon ko dahil hindi naman malilikot ang mga kabayo. But then, there's Dumas.

"Sorry, Hans. Hindi ko sadyang mabitawan," kinuha niyang muli ang hose, pinatay ang gripo pero ang mga mata ay wala pa rin sa ginagawa.

I followed his line of vision. Doon ko nakita ang dalawang dalagang De Salvo na nagkukuwentuhan at nagtatawanan habang nakasilong sa ilalim ng puno ng Molave. They were waiting for their cousin, Kade, to pick them up.

"Ganda talaga ni Señorita Caice! Mas gusto ko siya kaysa kay Señorita Kourtney dahil hamak na mas mabait at pala ngiti."

Caice.

Caice De Salvo.

The name alone had a weight to it. Sandali kong pinagbigyan ang sarili ko na pagmasdan siya mula sa malayo. Nakatayo siya roon at nakikipagkuwentuhan sa pinsan niya na tila ba naliligaw at hindi nababagay sa rito sa rancho. I stared at her, taking in every detail as if memorizing a dream. Nililipad ng pang-hapong hangin ang kaniyang kulay mais na buhok. It shimmered like spun gold, mas nakakatawag pansin sa kahit sinong mapalingon. Pinagmasdan kong maigi ang makinis at maputi niyang balat na tila nakakatakot hawakan dahil baka marumihan. The more it made the realziation dawned on me of how she'd been carefully preserved in a world where people like me didn't belong. Maganda si Caice. Hindi lang maganda kundi magandang maganda. And yet, she was the kind of beauty that felt unattainable, distant—like heaven itself.

Hinding-hindi ako makakalapit sa kaniya. Masuwerte na nga at nakikita ko siya. She was the sun, and I was barely a shadow in the dirt beneath her feet.

"Huy, Hans! Tulala ka na sa ganda ni Señorita Caice, ah!"

"Mas maganda 'yung isa," sabi ko na lang kahit ang totoo ay hindi ako nag-abalang balingan ng tingin ang kausap niya.

"Ah, si Señorita Kourtney pala ang gusto mo. Kaya lang masungit 'yan, eh! Hindi tayo papansinin lalo niyan, hindi katulad ni Señorita Caice!"

Señorita Caice.

I sighed heavily and got back to what I was doing. Itinuloy ko ang pagpapaligo sa kabayo habang si Dumas ay ganoon rin. Hindi nga lang siya natigil sa kakasabi kung gaano kaganda si Caice na para bang kailangan niya pa ng pag sang-ayon ko. One thing I wouldn't give him. Kahit gaano pa kaganda si Caice, hinding-hindi ko puwedeng ilaan lamang doon ang atensyon ko.

"Pagkakataon mo na, Hans,"

Paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang tinig ni Tiyo Ramon nang kausapin ako nito matapos kong ipaalam na kinuha ako ni Roy De Salvo upang magtrabaho sa rancho ng pamilya nila. He hated the De Salvos, and he had his reasons.

"Balita ko ay may babaeng anak iyon si Vince De Salvo. Pahulugin mo sa'yo. Kung kaya mo, huthutan mo ng pera. Maraming pera ang mga 'yan. Hinding-hindi 'yan mamumulubi kahit bahagian ka pa ng mana nyan. Hulog na hulog dapat. Tapos saktan mo. Iwan mo. Wala namang kuwenta ang mga De Salvo na 'yan. Iganti mo ang buong Matahom."

It seemed simple when he said it. Na para bang kailangan ko lang gawin ang lahat ng iyon at kusang aayon na ang mundo sa akin. I knew it was bullshit. Bukod sa hindi ako naniniwala sa konsepto ng paghihiganti, paano ko rin naman gagawin iyon kung mas nauna na akong nahulog sa kaniya? One glance, and I was hers. Ramdam ko na agad ang kung anong ginamit niyang pambihag sa akin. She pulled it tight around my chest every second I stayed in her orbit.

Ako ang dapat sisira sa kaniya. Pero paano ko gagawin iyon kung ako ang mas unang nasisira?

She was light, and I was dark.

She was heaven, and I was hell.

And the fucked up part? I liked it.

I liked feeling this way about her, even if it meant losing a piece of myself in the process.

Sinubukan kong iwasan si Caice De Salvo. Sinubukan kong huwag siyang pansinin. Pero marahil nga tao lang ako... May kahinaan.

Siya.

Siya ang kahinaan ko.

I could hear her laugh, soft and delicate, and it drove another nail into the coffin of leaving her alone plan I thought I had.

"Magkaibigan na ba tayo?"

Pinagmasdan ko si Caice nang itanong niya sa akin iyon. Hindi ko maintindihan kung paanong gusto niyang makipagkaibigan sa akin. How could someone like her—someone who had everything—want to be friends with someone like me? Ano naman ang makukuha niya sa pakikipagkaibigan sa akin? Ni wala nga akong sapat para sa sarili ko.

Pero siya, eto siya, nakangiti pa rin, tila ba walang ibang mahalaga sa kaniya kundi ang magpakatotoo at tahasang ialok sa akin ang pakikipagkaibigan na gustong-gusto niyang tanggapin ko. Walang bahid ng pagpapanggap si Caice kaya mahirap siyang tanggihan. Had she been snob and arrogant, mas madali sana siyang iwasan.

I stared at her again. Her eyes—so wide and innocent—looked up at me, waiting for an answer. They were the kind of eyes that hadn't seen the world's cruelty, that hadn't been touched by the harshness life offered people like me. She didn't know what it was like to feel less, to be less, to have less. Her world was one of luxury, of ease, where things fell into place for her as if the universe itself bent to her will. She had access to everything—anything she wanted, she could have at her fingertips.

Hindi ako karapat-dapat. Hindi ako kabilang sa mundo niya.

And yet, I couldn't resist her pull.

"Kung gusto mo pa rin..."

I was worth nothing.

I wasn't worth befriending.

I wasn't worth even a fraction of her attention.

Pero ibinigay sa akin ang lahat ng iyon nang hindi ko na kailangan pang hingin. She didn't care about the fact that we came from two different worlds. It didn't matter to her that she had everything, and I had nothing.

None of it mattered in her eyes.

But to me, it did.

To me, it was everything.

Because as much as she didn't see the difference between us, I did. I couldn't not see it. Hindi ko puwedeng basta na lang ignorahin ang malaking diperensya naming iyon dahil kung gagawin ko'y mas siya ang mahihirapan kaysa ako.

We weren't the same.

We could never be the same.

Pero kahit pa anong pilit kong isiksik ang kaisipan na iyon sa buong pagkatao ko ay wala pa rin akong nagawa. I was falling. Fast and hard. Mabuting tao si Caice. Tunay at tapat sa nararamdaman. She knocked down every wall I had carefully built. I didn't know how to stop it. I wasn't supposed to feel this way, but I couldn't help myself.

Kung ang ibang tao ay maraming pangarap sa buhay...

Ako?

Si Caice. Siya lang ang pangarap ko.

Ang magandang buhay, maayos na kinabukasan, at pagkakataon na maibigay sa kaniya ang lahat ng kaniyang gusto... Lahat ng iyon ay tungtungan lamang para makaakyat ako sa kaniya. Kasi siya lang ang pangarap ko.

I wanted to give her everything. Suddenly, that was all I could think about. I wanted to protect her, to shelter her from all the pain and darkness I knew the world held. I wanted to hand her the entire world, place it at her feet, if I could. If I had the power, I would give her the moon, the stars, everything she ever desired.

But I couldn't.

I had nothing to offer her.

Nothing she deserved.

All I had were empty hands and a heart that was falling apart at the seams just by standing next to her.

Sinubukan namin ni Caice pero naging magulo ang lahat. Hindi umaayon sa amin ang tadhana. Kahit anong gawin namin para ipaglaban ang isa't isa, parang mas lalo lang kaming hinihila pababa ng bawat hakbang na ginagawa namin.

Loving Caice wasn't supposed to be this complicated. It should have been simple—two people falling for each other, wanting to be together. Lalo na't pareho naman kami ng nararamdaman. Lalo na't pareho naman naming gusto ito. But the truth was, it was chaos. Every moment with her was like walking a tightrope, knowing that one misstep could send everything crashing down. And maybe it was inevitable that we'd fall, with everything and everyone standing in our way.

The first wall we hit was Vince De Salvo, her father. Nang malaman nito ang tungkol sa relasyon namin ni Caice ay agad itong tumutol. Of course, that was what he would do. Alam ni Vince De Salvo kung ano ang nagawa nito sa pamilya ko at sa pamilya ng marami. I wouldn't be surprised if he thought I was only using his daughter for revenge. But the truth was, I wasn't. Mahal ko si Caice. Totoong mahal ko si Caice. Kahit pa gaano iyon kaimposibleng pakinggan ay tunay ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya.

Vince De Salvo's disapproval was swift and merciless, as if he had been waiting for an excuse to tear me down. I was never going to be good enough for his daughter, and that was something I understood from the start. I didn't have the family name, the money, or the connections. I was just another man in his eyes—an obstacle to his perfect plans for her future. To him, I was nothing more than a speck of dirt that needed to be wiped away.

But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

"Putang ina ka! Bobo ka ba? Akala ko ba iskolar ka? Eh, bakit parang ang tanga mo? Mahal mo ang De Salvo na iyon? Ang taas naman ng ambisyon mo. Manang-mana ka sa nanay mong puta!"

Nagtagis ang aking mga bagang sa labis na pagpipigil. Galit si Tiyo Ramon kaya nasasabi nito ang mga salitang iyon. I was never like my mother. I will never be like her. Mahal ko si Caice at lahat gagawin ko para maibigay sa kaniya ang lahat ng kayang ipagkaloob ng salaping meron ang kaniyang ama. Gaano man iyon kaimposibleng pakinggan ay pagsusumikapan kong pangyarihin.

"Bobo! Ngayon, paano na 'yan? Pati ang mga negosyo ko ay pinag-iinitan na ng mga De Salvo na iyon. Ilan na sa mga pusher ko ang nahuli dahil sa pakikialam ng mga De Salvo, Hans. Maging ang club ko sa El Nido ay nagsara na rin dahil sa tip na ibinigay ni Exodus De Salvo na may bentahan doon ng laman at puros menor pa naman ang tauhan ko roon."

Good.

Kung may mabuting dulot ang tahasang pagtutol ni Vince De Salvo sa amin ni Caice ay ito iyon. Wala akong kapangyarihan para puksain o tutulan man lang ang lahat ng ilegal na gawain ni Tiyo Ramon. Ginagawa na nito ang mga iyon bago pa man ako mabuhay. That was the only way he knew how to live.

"Putang ina! Anong mapapala mo sa babaeng iyon? Ngayon ka lang nyan gusto! Hindi magtatagal at ikaw ang madudurog. Iyon? Walang mawawala doon! Ikaw? Lahat ng pilit mong tuwirin ang buhay mo ay mababalewala dahil lang nahulog ka sa maling tao. Hindi kayo para sa isa't isa, Hans. Iyon ang tatandaan mo. Ito ang buhay mo. Dito ka sa laylayan nababagay."

He almost killed me that night he found out—really found out—that I wasn't just playing a game with Caice, that I wasn't using her as part of some revenge plot. I could still feel the sting of his words, the anger in his eyes as he slammed me against the wall, shouting at me like I had betrayed our entire bloodline. For him, it wasn't just about me falling in love with Caice—it was about the fact that I had fallen in love with the daughter of his worst enemy.

Para sa kaniya ay ang mga De Salvo ang pumatay sa ama ko. Sa kapatid niya. Para sa kaniya ay ang mga De Salvo ang gumulo sa tahimik at payapang buhay ng mga taga Matahom. They destroyed everything we held dear, everything we worked for.

Hindi masyadong malawak ang ala-ala ko dahil bata pa ako nang mangyari ang lahat. Ang alam ko lang noon ay payapa ang buhay ko sa Matahom kasama si Tatay at ang bago niyang asawa na mabait at maayos ang pakikitungo sa akin. But after the De Salvos came, it all turned to ashes. My father—he was one of the first to fall. Shot down in a violent raid that ripped the heart out of our family. Isa sa mga bagay na habang buhay ikakagalit ni Tiyo Ramon.

And now, seeing me, his nephew, the son of his murdered brother, falling for a De Salvo, it was more than he could bear. To him, I was spitting on my father's grave. I was betraying the very blood that ran through my veins.

Siguro nga.

Marahil nga.

Hindi ko rin kayang ipagtanggol ang sarili ko sa kaisipan na iyon. Lalo na kung maging ang kalooban ko ay nahahati sa bawat panahon na namumulat ang aking mga mata sa katotohanan. The truth was more complicated than that, and it was something I could never say out loud, not to him, not to anyone.

Because while I hated the De Salvos for what they did—nothing could ever justify the wreckage they left behind, the death of innocent people, children, women—part of me knew that what came before wasn't any better.

Hindi totoong payapa at paraiso ang Matahom. Siguro para sa mura kong isipan, oo. Pero ngayon na binabalikan ko ang lahat, I had to swallow the ugly reality that tasted bad in my mouth. Before the town got torn apart, it was slowly being corrupted from the inside, poisoned by the very people who were supposed to protect it. Illegal businesses were creeping in, exploiting the most vulnerable—women, children, anyone who could be used. Drugs, trafficking, it was all happening behind the scenes, and no one had the courage to stop it.

People turned a blind eye, and maybe that was our real downfall. We let the rot fester, ignored it, pretended like it wasn't happening because it was easier. So when the De Salvos came, bringing with them destruction and violence, it was like the final blow to a town that was already dying from the inside out.

I hated myself for thinking it, but in a twisted way, it felt like Matahom was better off after it was ruined.

"Sumama ka na sa'kin, Hans. Tutulungan kita! Pag-aaralin kita."

Pinagmasdan ko si Cynthia. Siya ang ina ko na iniwan ako, kami ng tatay ko, para sumama sa mayaman. Sa lalaking kayang ibigay ang buhay na pinapangarap niya. Habang tumatanda ako at nagkakaisip, habang nararanasan ko kung gaano kalupit at kahirap ang buhay sa laylayan ay naiintindihan ko kung bakit ginusto niyang kumawala. Hinding-hindi ko nga lang kakayanin na gawin ang ginawa niya. I would never marry for money. Kung gusto kong kumawala sa hirap na dinadanas ko, ako ang gagapang paalis. Hindi ko kakailanganin ng kung sinong hihila sa akin pataas. Kahit si Caice pa.

Iyon ang kaibahan namin ni Cynthia.

"Nanay mo pa rin ako, Hans! Sasama ka sa'kin. Hindi puwedeng ganito! Hindi ako papayag na apihin ka lang ng mga De Salvo na iyon."

Gusto kong matawa sa kaniyang sinabi. I never once thought of her as my mother. Totoong hindi ako mahilig magtanim ng galit, hindi ako sang-ayon sa paghihiganti. But to me? I only had one mother. At matagala na itong namatay. Ang ina ko ay ang kumalinga sa akin, nag-alaga at nagtaguyod kahit pa nga ba hindi naman ako nito tunay na anak. Iyon. Iyon ang nanay ko.

"Umalis ka na, Cynthia. Hindi ko gustong datnan ka pa rito ni Caice."

Nagtatago kami ni Caice sa mga De Salvo, pilit na ipinaglalaban ang pag-iibigan naming dalawa. Hindi ko alam kung paanong natunton pa rin kami ni Cynthia. Pero ang katotohanan na natunton niya kami ay sapat na para hindi ko isipin na walang alam si Vince De Salvo sa kung nasan kami. He hadn't made a move... yet. And it made me wonder what move he had in mind.

"Gusto ko lang tulungan ka, Hans."

"Cynthia, hindi ka dapat basta-bastang lumalapit sa akin. Sinasagot ko naman ang mga tawag mo, ah. Tinatanggap ko ang mga tulong mo. Hindi na kailangang pumunta ka pa dito."

Totoo. Para lang maiwasan ang mga ganitong usapan ay hinahayaan ko siyang tulungan ako. Kahit hindi ko gusto ay alam kong kailangan ko iyon. Kailangan ko para kay Caice. Nahihirapan na siya, alam ko. Hindi man niya ipakita sa akin ay alam kong araw-araw siyang nababahala. I wouldn't want her to worry about other things... Gusto intindihin niya lang kung paano ako mahalin. Iyon lang.

At si Cynthia? Paniguradong gugulpihin na naman siya ng asawa niya sa oras na malaman nitong lumalapit pa rin siya sa akin. Her husband thought I was a gigolo. Bakit nga ba hindi? Hindi naman siya kailanman naglakas ng loob na ipakilala ako bilang anak niya. That to me only proved how shallow her love was for her own child.

"But I need to see you! Nag-alala ako nang hindi mo sagutin ang tawag ko kanina kaya pinuntahan kita dito."

"At ano? Kapag nalaman na naman ng asawa mo ano na naman ang gagawin niya sa'yo? Sasaktan ka na naman. Kapag nagsawa sa'yo ako na naman ang paaabangan."

"H-hindi na ginagawa iyon sa akin ni Alfredo, Hans."

Nagdilim ang paningin ko, dumako iyon sa braso niya na may paso. I knew I shouldn't care, but dammit! Biologically we were tied to each other.

"Anong hindi? Eh, may pasa ka na naman nga sa braso. Hindi ko alam kung bakit panay ang pagtitiis mo sa lalaking iyon. Iwan mo na. Hindi ganyan ang pagmamahal."

"Kung iiwan ko ba si Alfredo ay sasama ka na sa'kin? Hans, mahal kita. Ikaw lang naman ang inaalala ko. Ikaw lang ang mahalaga sa akin."

At si Caice lang ang mahalaga sa akin.

Si Caice lang ang inaalala ko.

Si Caice lang ang mahal ko.

The whole thing blew up in ways I never expected, and in the end, I lost Caice.

Nakatatak sa aking isipan ang galit at pighati na nakita ko sa kaniyang mga mata. She hated me. And she had every reason to. To her, I was just another liar, another man who had taken something precious and shattered it. She thought I had used her, thought Cynthia was my other woman. It was a lie, but in her world, it didn't matter. All she knew was that she was mad at me—furious, actually. And not just for Cynthia, but for everything. For all the secrets, the lies, the things I could never bring myself to explain.

I couldn't blame her. How could I? I was mad at myself too. Mad at the mess I had made of everything, at the way things spiraled out of control. Mad at the chaos and wreckage that followed me like a curse.

Hindi ko sinasadyang saktan si Caice.

Hindi ko kailanman ginustong saktan siya.

But that's the thing about life—sometimes it doesn't matter what you intend. What matters is what you did. And what I did was ruin the only real thing I ever had.

I let the chaos consume us.

By the time it all fell apart, her trust in me was gone, ripped to pieces by all the lies and half-truths that had poisoned our relationship.

But the worst part, the part that twisted the knife in deeper, was that I did deserve her anger. I deserved every ounce of it because I let her believe those lies. I let the situation get out of hand. I didn't fight hard enough to protect what we had, and now, all I could do was stand in the wreckage of everything I had destroyed.

Then Zach Dela Paz happened.

One day, out of nowhere, I got a call from Red Santa de Leones himself, saying that Zach was being held hostage by Tiyo Ramon. I didn't know what to think. I had cut all ties to the survivors of Matahom when I lost Caice. I had made sure of it. After everything blew up, after Caice hated me and I was left alone in the wreckage, I left that world behind. Even Tiyo Ramon. Especially him.

For years, I tried to distance myself from everything that reminded me of the chaos. I buried myself in work, thrived—pushed myself harder than I thought possible, building a future that I could barely believe in. But that's what kept me going. That future, that impossible dream where fate would somehow realign and let me and Caice be together again. A future where I was no longer the man who had ruined her life, but someone better. Someone worthy of her.

It was stupid, really. A dream more than anything. But it kept me alive. It was all I had after I lost her.

And then this call. Tiyo Ramon. Zach. How the hell had that happened?

The last I heard, Tiyo Ramon was tangled up with a much bigger, more dangerous cartel out of Italy. Word on the street was that he had made powerful connections, the kind that could make or break entire countries if they wanted to. I didn't care anymore. I didn't ask questions about him because I didn't want to know. He was part of a life I had abandoned, and I didn't need him—or the mess he dragged behind him—infecting my future.

But Zach? Why Zach?

Tiyo Ramon had tortured him. I could barely wrap my mind around the idea. But they ripped everything that made him human.

Tiyo Ramon hadn't forgotten.

He would fucking seek revenge for as long as he lived.

Dumagdag iyon sa tambak niya nang galit sa akin. Hindi ko iyon maalis sa kaniya. Kaya kahit masakit... Kahit sobrang sakit... Nang hilingin niyang layuan ko na siya ng tuluyan ay ginawa ko.

"Don't ever show your face again."

Nakatatak na sa aking puso at isipan ang mga salitang iyon na binitiwan ni Caice. Nakatatak na sa aking isipan ang lahat ng pighati at sakit na dala niya. Hinding-hindi na iyon mawawala. Hinding-hindi na iyon mabubura. Hindi na maalis.

"You're a constant reminder of everything that's gone wrong."

Maybe she was right. Maybe, to her, I was nothing but a symbol of all the mistakes, all the broken promises, all the things that had shattered in her life. I was the chaos that had torn through everything she held dear. I was the one who brought destruction, whether I meant to or not. I didn't blame her for thinking that. I couldn't. Because in her world, I was the embodiment of everything that had gone wrong.

But for me? Caice was the opposite. She was the constant reminder of all that could go better. Of the life I could have had, the man I could have been, if only things had been different. She wasn't the chaos. She was the rainbow. She was the one thing that ever made me believe there was more to life than the mess I was born into, more than the anger and revenge that had driven me for so long. With her, I saw a future. A future that wasn't tainted by blood or betrayal. A future where things could actually be better.

Nagsumikap ako dahil si Caice ang pangarap ko. Pinaghirapan ko ang lahat para sa kaniya. Dahil sa kaniya. Every decision, every sacrifice, every sleepless night—it was all for her. She was the reason I pushed myself beyond the limits I thought I had. She was the one constant in my mind, the driving force that kept me going even when everything else seemed impossible.

Si Caice.

Si Caice ang lahat.

Para sa kaniya ang lahat.

I studied hard, harder than I ever thought I could. Becoming a pilot wasn't just a job for me; it was a path to something bigger. A future. A future where I could give her the kind of life she deserved. I thought about her every time I sat in those classes, learning about engines, navigation, flight patterns. Every time I stepped into the cockpit, I imagined it was for her. That one day, I would be flying her across the world, taking her to places she had only dreamed of.

Sa lahat ng napuntahan ko, sinama ko siya.

Sa lahat ng napuntahan ko, dinala ko siya.

I would write letters that I hoped I could give her one day.

The moment I started earning real money, I didn't waste any time. I invested it—businesses, stocks, anything that could grow my wealth. I wanted to be able to give Caice everything she could ever want. I wanted her to know that I wasn't the same man she had left behind. That I wasn't the broken boy who had failed her before. I wanted to show her that I was capable. That I could take care of her in ways I never could back then.

In a span of a few years, everything started to fall into place. The businesses grew. My earnings multiplied. I found myself climbing higher and higher, and for the first time, I almost believed that I had become someone worthy of her. I wasn't the same person anymore. I had worked my way out of the dirt, out of the chaos. I had become someone who could stand beside her without shame, without feeling like I didn't belong.

But the more I built, the more I realized something was missing. All the money, all the success—it felt hollow without her there to share it with. I had spent so many years working for this future, but when I finally reached it, she wasn't there. No matter how high I climbed, no matter how far I went, Caice was nowhere to be found. She was gone, and with her, the dream I had been chasing all this time.

I had imagined a life where I could finally show her that I had made it, that I could give her the life she deserved. But that life didn't exist without her.

I had become the man I thought she wanted, but it didn't matter. She wasn't there to accept it. And in the end, all the success in the world couldn't fill the space she left behind.

"I found your letters for me... I read them all."

That did it for me. Every letter I wrote for her. Every confession, every piece of my heart that I poured into words when I thought I'd never see her again.

She read them all.

The rainbows started to show after that. I had spent so many years living in the shadow of the chaos we had been through, fighting my way through every storm, every doubt, every broken promise. I had convinced myself that it was all for nothing. That no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I worked, she was gone, and I was just chasing an illusion. But here she was, telling me she had read my words. That she had seen the truth in them.

She loved me. After all those years, she still loved me.

"Hm, ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo..."

Ang malambing na tinig ni Caice ang siyang nagpabalik sa akin sa kasalukuyan. Niyakap niya ako mula sa likuran at tumanaw rin mula sa balkonahe. I glanced down at my mug, sitting on the balcony rail, and carefully set it aside so I could turn around and hold her in my arms.

Mas niyakap ko si Caice, hinding-hindi ko gustong bitawan. Hinalikan ko ang gilid ang kaniyang sentido bago sagutin ang kaniyang tanong. "Ikaw palagi ang iniisip ko, Caice."

Mahina siyang tumawa bago muling humilig sa akin. Tiningala niya ang langit na para bang gandang-ganda siya sa liwanag na taglay nito. Samantalang ako, ito... Gandang-ganda sa kaniya.

"Umaliwalas na ang langit, Hans," sabi niya. "Look at that rainbow..."

The rain had stopped, finally giving way to the most beautiful rainbow I'd seen in a long time. It arched over the quiet neighborhood, vivid and bright against the soft, peaceful sky. It had been raining for days, pero ngayon ay umaraw na.

I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair, feeling the softness of her body pressed against mine. Everything about her was comfort, love, and home.

"Masaya ka ba, Caice?" Namamaos kong tanong.

Gusto kong masaya siya... Kasi ako masayang masaya ako.

She looked up at me, her eyes sparkling with that warmth I had fallen in love with years ago. "I couldn't be any happier, Hans. Ito... Ganitong simpleng buhay lang kasama ka. Masayang masaya na ako."

She turned her gaze toward the garden below, the one we had built together when we first moved to the Netherlands.

"Look at that," she said, pointing toward the flowers we had planted with our own hands. The garden was bursting with life now—roses, tulips, even the small fruit trees we had nurtured from seedlings. "Remember when we couldn't even tell if those flowers would survive the first winter?" she laughed, leaning into me more. "Now look at them. They're thriving."

Ngumiti ako.

Hindi ko alam kung paanong sa sobrang saya at payapa ng damdamin ko ay sumisikip ang dibdib ko. Masyado kong mahal si Caice. Masyado kong gustong mabuhay ng kasama siya. Ilang taon na rin kaming magkasama. Ilang taon na rin simula nang iwan namin ang lahat sa Pilipinas. Moving here, to the Netherlands, away from the chaos of our past, had been the best decision we ever made. It was a fresh start, a chance to create something beautiful together. A life free from the shadows that used to haunt us, a life far from the things that could have broken us still.

"We built this," I said, my voice low as I held her a little tighter. "This life. We made it together."

"Yes, we did," she whispered. "And I wouldn't change a single thing."

Life in the Netherlands had been everything I never knew I needed. It was simple, happy, and full. Ibang-iba sa nakagisnan kong buhay. There was no more running, no more fighting against the tides that once tried to drown us. It was just us now—me, Caice, and our two kids, Ava and Hank.

They were what made everything beautiful. What made everything worth fighting for.

"Mahal mo pa ba ko, Hans?" Humilig sa akin si Caice at itinanong iyon.

Natatawang ibinaon ko sa kaniyang leeg ang aking mukha bago namamaos na bumulong. "Really? Here?"

It puzzled me the first few times she asked. For a while, I thought maybe she really needed reassurance, that she doubted the way I loved her. So, I'd answer her every time, pauli-ulit kong sinasabi sa kaniya kung gaano ko siya kamahal. But over the years, I learned the pattern. Naintindihan ko na ang ginagawa niya, the way she asked without asking. It wasn't that she didn't know the answer—it was her way of telling me she wanted more. She wanted to be touched. But Caice had never been the type to ask directly, even if I was her husband.

Nahihiya pa rin siyang sabihin sa akin kapag gusto niya.

I had to read her.

Good thing was, I could. Like a damn-fucking-book.

"Mahal mo pa ba ko?" she asked again, her eyes closing as she leaned into me.

I didn't need any more hints. Slowly, I pressed my lips against the side of her neck, trailing soft kisses from just beneath her ear down to her collarbone.

"You know I do," masuyo kong bulong habang hinahalik-halikan siya. "I love you more than anything, Caice. Always."

My hands slid under her dress, fingers brushing the soft skin of her thighs. I felt her shiver, her body responding to my touch the way it always did. Gently, I moved my hand higher, feeling her warmth, the way her breath hitched ever so slightly. I kissed her neck again, slower this time, savoring the way she leaned into me, giving herself to the moment.

"Bumangon ka kasi agad..." She whispered, her voice barely audible. "Akala ko babalik ka pa..."

I chuckled softly against her skin, my hand still caressing her thigh. "I'm sorry. Hindi na kasi ako makatulog. Ayaw ko naman magising ka kaya lumabas na muna ako."

She moaned softly, her breath catching as my hands wandered a little further, tracing her curves until I found her warmth. Slick and wet, she was already ready for me. It always amazed me how she could be both so hot and innocent at the same time, how she could still make me feel like this after all these years. My body reacted immediately, heat rising in me, the hardness pressing against my sweatpants as I felt just how much she wanted me.

"Caice..." I whispered, my voice thick with desire as I slid a finger inside her. She gasped, her body tensing for just a moment before relaxing into the touch, wanting more. I could feel her clenching around me, her hips moving instinctively, asking for more without saying a word.

She turned her head, her lips finding mine in a soft kiss. "I love you, Hans. I love you so much..."

I moved my finger slowly at first, feeling her react to every movement, her body trembling slightly as I stroked her. The more I touched her, the more I felt her give in to it. I could feel how much she wanted me, and it only made me harder, the need to be inside her growing with every second.

"You're so wet for me," I murmured against her mouth. She moaned again, her head falling back as I moved my finger deeper, curling it slightly to find that spot that always made her melt.

"Hans..." she whimpered, her hands gripping my arms as she pressed herself against me, her body begging for more.

I added another finger, stretching her slightly as her hips bucked against my hand, the rhythm between us growing faster, more urgent. She was so responsive, every moan, every gasp, making me want her even more. Her innocence, her softness, mixed with the raw heat of her need, had me on the edge of losing control.

Her breathing quickened, and I could feel her muscles tightening around my fingers, her body teetering on the edge of release.

"Hans," she begged softly, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I need you now."

I leaned down, pressing a kiss to her neck. "I'm right here. I'll give you everything you need."

Slowly, I withdrew my fingers, leaving her trembling and aching for more. Her eyes met mine, dark with desire, and I couldn't resist her any longer. Grabbing her by the hips, I pulled her close, pressing my hardness against her as I kissed her deeply, knowing that soon, I'd be giving her exactly what she wanted.

"I want you too, Caice," I whispered against her lips. "And I'm going to make you feel everything."

Caice had always been the rainbow in my life, even when I couldn't see it. Even when everything seemed dark and impossible, she was always there, somewhere in the distance, reminding me that there was still beauty left in the world. And now, after everything, after all the chaos and heartbreak, after all the times I thought I had lost her for good, she was mine.

I realized that every moment of chaos had been worth it.

Dahil si Caice...

Si Caice ang nasa dulo ng bahaghari.

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