As the days turned into weeks, the rumors about my alleged affair with Silvanus DiLaurentis seemed to grow wilder and more vicious with each passing moment. Kaya alam kong hindi malabong umabot na rin iyon sa buong angkan ko. I could already imagine how my father would react at the news. Malamang ay mas na malala ang galit niya ngayon kaysa sa noong pinili kong mag mahal ng hindi namin kapareho ng antas sa pamumuhay.

Parang mas lalo ko tuloy gustong magrebelde. Isipin na nila kung ano ang gusto nilang isipin. It would kill them to see how they ruined me. Or how they thought they ruined me.

The situation escalated to a whole new level of chaos when news broke that Melinda DiLaurentis, Silas's wife and Rye's mother, had flown into the country. Melinda was no ordinary woman; she was a renowned Italian actress, a celebrity whose every move was scrutinized by the media and adored by fans worldwide. Her arrival catapulted the scandal into the spotlight, turning it into a full-blown media frenzy.

Mas lalo tuloy nagwala ang press. Mas lalo tuloy akong tinutukan ng mga ito.

"I'm sorry about that,"

Napalingon ako nang magsalita si Silas mula sa aking likuran. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung isasara ko ang laptop kong nakabukas sa aking harapan, nakita naman na niya ang artikulong binabasa ko. It was about that stupid rumor, hindi ko nga rin alam kung bakit binuksan ko pa iyon nang i-forward sa akin ni Therese, maging sila kasi ni Lulli ay nagtatanong na rin. I didn't expect them to know Silas. Pero sabagay, kung artista ang asawa niya ay malamang kilala na rin siya ng fans.

Kumibit ang aking mga balikat, isinara na ang artikulong iyon at muling binalikan ang pagtatala ko ng notes tungkol sa progress ni Rye. Siya naman ay naglapag ng tasa ng tsaa sa gilid ko, hindi ko inasahan na para sa akin pala iyon.

Silas pulled a chair beside me and sat down. Hindi ko na siya nilingon at inabala na lamang ang sarili sa ginagawa, hindi ko rin naman kasi alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa kaniya. I continued typing away at my notes.

For a while, there was silence between us, broken only by the soft clinking of tea cups and the occasional rustle of papers. I could feel his gaze on me, studying me intently as if trying to decipher the thoughts swirling in my mind.

Silas shifted in his seat, the leather creaking softly beneath him. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin ngunit hindi niya maisatinig. Hinayaan ko lang. Nakikibasa rin siya sa ginagawa ko, dapat rin naman malaman niya ang mga bagay na ito tungkol sa anak niya.

Inabot ko ang tasa na inilapag niya sa gilid at sumimsim doon, pilit na iniignora ang mga tingin na ibinibigay niya sa akin.

"Mel really has a way of making everything about her," he muttered after a while. Ang pinatutukuyan ata ay ang dramatic arrival ng asawa niya sa NAIA kagabi. Naging laman kasi iyon ng balita, marami itong mga tagahanga dito dahil ayon sa nabasa ko kanina ay may ibang palabas itong inere rin dito sa Pilipinas.

I paused, unsure of how to respond. I didn't know Melinda personally, but if she was indeed as narcissistic as Silas and Rye suggested, then it wasn't entirely surprising. Narcissistic individuals often had a knack for manipulating situations to suit their own needs, regardless of the impact on others.

"She was exhausting," dagdag pa niya. I could imagine the kind of hell he had to go through, living with someone who couldn't be satisfied. "Living in her shadow, constantly trying to keep up with her demands and expectations. She thrives on the spotlight, always craving more attention, more admiration. I married Mel because for a time I thought I needed that. I needed someone. She was a convenient choice for a wife, and I never really thought she had these grandiosity trapped into her pretty little head."

I turned to Silas, feeling a twinge of sadness at his admission. It was disheartening to hear that he had never truly considered marrying for love, that his marriage to Melinda had been more of a strategic decision than a heartfelt commitment. Kahit naman minsan na akong nabigo at hindi na muling sumubok ay naniniwala pa rin ako sa pagmamahal. Hindi nga ba't iyon ang dahilan kung bakit nananatili pa rin si Mommy kay Daddy sa kabila ng lahat ng ginawa nito. Mom would still fight for Dad kahit pa mali na.

"But don't you believe in love, Silas?" I asked softly, searching his eyes for any hint of sentiment beneath his stoic facade.

"Love, Caice, is something you feel biologically," he explained, his tone matter-of-fact.

Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Na mahal niya lang si Rye dahil anak niya ito, ganoon? That he couldn't love someone na hindi naman niya kadugo o kaanu-ano? Parang ang tanga naman nu'n.

"At least, for people like me. I'm not cut out for all those train ride bullshits of getting to know someone, falling in love. I have little time for sitting down and just talking."

I couldn't help but smirk in response, his blunt honesty catching me off guard. Ito ang unang beses na makakausap ko si Silas ng ganito, tuwina kasi ay kay Rye lang umiikot ang aming mga usapan.

"Well, you're doing it now," I pointed out, gesturing to our current conversation. "Talking, I mean."

"Touché," mahina siyang natawa, lalo tuloy nangunot ang noo ko.

Sa ilang linggong pananatili ko dito ay hindi ko pa siya naririnig na tumawa, ngayon pa lang. Parang bumata siya ng ilang taon sa ginawa niyang iyon.

"You should do that more often," bago ko pa mapigilan ang aking sarili ay nasabi ko na iyon.

"Do what?"

"Laugh," ngumiti ako. Guwapo si Silas, hindi na iyon nakapagtataka pero kasi mukha siyang sobrang seryoso sa buhay. "It makes you look younger,"

"Why? How old do you think I am?" His brows shot up in amusement, nasa akin na ang kaniyang buong atensyon.

Sandali akong napaisip. Ayaw ko talagang sumasagot ng mga ganiyang tanong dahil hindi ko naman gustong humuhusga ng tao base sa anyo. Para sa akin ay mukha nasa mid thirties itong si Silas, masyado lang talagang seryoso sa buhay.

"Fifty three? Fifty four?" I joked, grinning when he mocked offense.

"Wow," he shook his head, feigning disappointment. "I should really laugh more. I'm only forty-two, Caice."

"Forty-two? You're kidding, right?" Ako naman ang nabigla at ni hindi ko man lang nagawang itago iyon. "You look like you're in your mid-thirties, tops."

He smirked, a hint of satisfaction in his eyes at my reaction. "Well, thank you for the flattery, Caice. But I assure you, I am indeed forty-two years old."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically, studying his features intently. Despite his claim, there was no denying that Silas possessed a timeless charm. Mas papasa pa nga siyang thirty-two kaysa forty-two.

"Well, you certainly don't look it," I remarked, unable to resist a smile.

He shrugged nonchalantly, medyo yumabang pa ang anyo. "I suppose I've been blessed with good genes,"

Wala namang duda iyon. Pero ganito, dapat ay palagi siyang ganito para mas napapalagay ang loob ni Rye sa kaniya. Kung nakikita siguro nito na ganito siya makipag-usap, hindi laging nakasimangot o ano, Rye wouldn't have called him a monster. Guwapo masyado para maging monster.

"But seriously, you should laugh more often. It suits you," nakangiti ko pa ring sabi. "And it will be good for Rye to see you like this, Silas."

He regarded me thoughtfully, his gaze lingering on mine for a moment longer than necessary. Tulad ni Rye ay halatang malalim rin ang pinanggagalingan ng ugali niya. I knew there was something about him that made him how he was on the outside. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung ano iyon.

"Perhaps I will," tahimik niyang tugon habang mas pinakatitigan pa ako. "It's been a while since I've really talked to someone."

I nodded in understanding, empathizing with the pressures he must face on a daily basis. Malamang kasi ang mga pakikipag-usap niya sa ibang tao ay purong transaksyunal lamang. Sa ilang linggong pananatili ko rito kasama silang dalawa ni Rye ay ni minsan walang bumisita sa kanilang kaibigan o ano. Subsob rin siya sa trabaho kaya nasisiguro kong puro iyon lang rin ang mga nagagawa niyang usapan sa araw-araw. Pakiramdam ko rin ay ang lungkot lungkot niya.

"You can always talk to me..." Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasabi ko iyon, pero dahil na rin siguro alam kong kailangan niya.

"How much will you charge me?" He asked, nagpipigil ng ngiti habang pirmi lamang ang tingin sa akin.

"One smile," sabi ko at sukat doon ay pinakawalan niya ang ngiting kanina pa pinipigilan. "I'll make it my mission to bring a smile to your face at least once a day."

Silas raised an eyebrow, biglang naging mas mapanghamon ang kaniyang tingin, sinalubong ko iyon ng buong tapang.

"Is that so, Ms. Sandejas?" he quipped, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

"You bet," I replied with a mischievous grin. "Consider it my personal therapy session for you."

Muli siyang natawa. Pang-ilan na 'yan ngayong gabi, huh?

The days that followed were a blur of gradual yet significant changes. Silas began to relax more around the house, nabawasan na ang madalas niyang pagsimangot lalo kung nandyan si Rye. His transformation was subtle at first—a softened gaze here, a faint smile there—but it was enough for Rye to notice. It was enough for me to notice too, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment and hope. Alam ko kasing hindi naman madali sa kaniya iyon lalo't hindi naman niya nakasanayan, pero pilit niyang ginagawa para kay Rye.

One afternoon, I found Silas in the garden, lounging on a patio chair with a book in hand. Gusto kong matawa lalo nang makita ang libro na binabasa nito, The Hunger Games. Alam kong kung siya lang ay hinding hindi niya tatangkain na basahin ang librong iyon. But Rye was reading that book, iyon ang madalas naming pag-usapan at naririnig iyong madalas ni Silas.

I admired his willingness to really connect with his son.

He glanced up as I approached, a genuine smile playing on his lips. "Come join me,"

Naupo ako sa upuang iminuwestra niya, habang pinagmamasdan ang saglit niyang pag-ipit ng marker sa libro bago iyon isara. "What part are you in?"

"I'm at the part where Katniss just volunteered for Prim," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. Mukha namang nag-e-enjoy siya sa binabasa. "It's quite intense. I didn't expect to get so drawn into it."

"Wow, I'm impressed. I've only seen the movies." Ngumisi ako, alam kong hindi niya iisipin na hindi ko nga iyon nabasa dahil tuwing nagkukuwento si Rye ay may naiaambag ako. Salamat, Google.

He squinted at me, mock offense in his eyes. "You're a loser, you know that?"

"Hey, movies are faster. I get to see the whole story in a couple of hours." Mahilig naman akong magbasa kaya lang nitong mga huli ay kulang na kulang na rin talaga ako sa oras para pagkasyahin iyon sa lahat ng mga kailangan kong gawin.

"Reading gives you depth," he argued, kunwaring seryoso pero halata naman ang pigil na ngisi. "You miss out on so many details by just watching the movies."

"True, but I never had the patience for it."

Tumawa si Silas, hindi pa tapos ang araw pero nagawa ko na ang trabaho ko sa kaniya. Napangiti at napatawa ko na siya. Hindi naman mahirap gawin iyon lalo na't siya na ang nagkukusa.

"Rye said you're a monster, but he never told me why..." Biglang sabi ko habang pinagmamasdan si Silas. Kung titignan kasi siya ay masasabi mo talagang masungit at istrikto. Kaya lang, matalinong bata si Rye para basta na lang gamitin ang salitang iyon para ilarawan ang isang tao. Ni hindi nga nito iyon ginamit sa ina nito sa kabila ng lahat ng nangyari.

Silas looked at me intensely, setting aside the book and leaning forward. "Do you think I'm a monster, Caice?"

Hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin ang tanong na iyon. Well, kung ang pagbabasehan ay ang pakikitungo niya sa akin ay masasabi kong hindi. Pero syempre, surface level lang ang alam ko.

"You know, Silas, I've always believed that monsters aren't born; they're made. They're the result of pain, fear, and sometimes, misguided intentions. If someone calls another a monster, it usually means they've been hurt deeply by that person. But it doesn't mean the person is beyond redemption."

Naalala ko tuloy nang minsan ko ring gamitin ang salitang iyon kay Dad. Galit na galit ako sa kaniya noon. Hanggang ngayon naman. Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin ay nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa na magbabago pa siya.

Lahat ng gustong magbago ay nakakapagbago.

Silas nodded thoughtfully. "If Rye thinks I'm a monster, then maybe I am. But if I am, I'm a monster that cares deeply for him."

I watched him closely, sensing he was on the verge of revealing more. Sumeryoso kasi ang anyo niya, may galit rin na dumaan sa kaniyang mga mata. Hindi ako nagsalita at naghintay lamang sa susunod niyang sasabihin.

"I blame myself for what Rye had to go through with Melinda," naroon ang pagsisisi sa kaniyang tinig. "I got too fed up with her. Her demands, her need for control... it was suffocating. So, I left the house. I thought I was protecting myself, but in doing so, I abandoned Rye."

My heart ached for him, but more so for Rye. "Why didn't you take him with you?"

Silas sighed deeply, his eyes darkening with memories. "I wanted to. God, how I wanted to. But Mel... she wouldn't let me. She used every legal and emotional weapon she had to keep Rye with her. And I thought, 'He's her son too, she won't hurt him.'"

Doon siya nagkamali. But then, how could I blame him? Sino ba naman ang makakapag-isip na gagawan ng masama ng isang ina ang sarili niyang anak? Rye could've died kung hindi lang ito malakas at matapang.

"It was already too late when I learned she was hurting him, torturing him, both physically and mentally. By the time I found out, so much damage had been done."

"You couldn't have known. You did what you thought was best at the time." Mahina kong sabi habang pinagmamasdan siya. "The important thing now is that you're here, and you're trying to make it right for him."

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin, naroon sa kaniyang mga mata ang labis na pagsisisi. "I can't forgive myself for not seeing it sooner. For not fighting harder. I left him alone with her, thinking she was just as much a parent as I was. But I was wrong. So wrong."

"Rye is getting better, Silas." Inabot ko ang kaniyang kamay at marahan iyong pinisil bago siya ngitian. Totoo naman ang sinasabi ko, kumpara sa unang mga pag-uusap namin ni Rye ay umaayos na ang pakikisalamuha niya sa ibang tao. "You're here now. And you're doing everything you can to rebuild that trust, to heal those wounds. Rye needs to see that effort, and he will. It will take time, but he will."

Hindi siya nagsalita, sa halip sinuklian lamang ang higpit ng kapit ko sa kaniyang kamay. Alam kong ramdam ni Silas na ang pag-aalala ko para kay Rye ay hindi lang basta dahil kliyente ko siya. Napamahal na rin sa akin ang batang iyon.

That afternoon, I decided to give Silas and Rye some time to bond. Silas had invited Rye to watch a movie in the family theater, simpleng bagay lamang iyon pero alam kong maraming oportunidad na binuksan iyon para sa mag-ama.

Rye seemed hesitant at first, but eventually agreed. Lalo't hinayaan pa ito ng ama na mamili ng papanuorin. They invited me too, but I politely declined, wanting to give them the space they needed.

Instead, I settled into the study, catching up on my readings. The house was unusually quiet, save for the occasional laughter I heard from the theater room. It was a good sound, a sign that things were starting to change for the better.

Nang hapon ay umakyat na ako sa silid na aking tinutuluyan sa mansion. I decided to take a break and turned on the television. I was only half-listening as the news anchor spoke, my mind still on the notes I had been taking. Then something caught my attention.

"Breaking news," the anchor announced. "A plane made an emergency landing in the river in Philadelphia today, saving hundreds of passengers. The pilot in command, Capt. Alvaro Hansen Coronel, is being hailed as a hero for his quick thinking and expert maneuvering."

My heart stopped. Pakiramdam ko ay may malaking kamay na biglang dumaklot sa sikmura ko, pumipiga at pumipilipit.

Alvaro Hansen Coronel.

The name reverberated in my mind, bringing a rush of memories I had long buried. I froze, my eyes glued to the screen as the camera panned to a picture of the pilot. There he was, Hans, his familiar face staring back at me with that same composed expression he always had.

Bigla ay parang nabura ang lahat ng tumatakbo sa aking isipan at siya na lang ang natira. Ang mga ala-ala niya. Ang buong siya.

Images of the plane, partially submerged in the river, filled the screen. Passengers were shown being helped to safety, their faces a mix of relief and shock. The anchor continued, detailing the harrowing events that led to the emergency landing and the heroic efforts of Hans and his crew.

I couldn't tear my eyes away. The news anchor spoke of Hans's extensive training, his years of experience, and how his decisive actions had undoubtedly saved lives. I felt a mix of pride and anxiety, emotions I hadn't felt in years.

Pride.

Gusto kong matawa sa kung bakit iyon ang una kong naramdaman. Well, he's a pilot now. Sa kabila ng lahat ay narating niya ang gusto niyang marating. Nagawa niya ang gusto niyang magawa.

Bitterness crept in next.

He did succeed when he chose to walk away that night seven years ago.

Hans made it without me.