Hindi ako makagalaw. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Kanina pa ako parang sinasakal sa lahat ng nalaman ko. Sinubukan kong huwag ipahalata, lalo kay Zach, ang lahat ng emosyon na nag-uunahan sa akin. It wouldn't help him kung makikita niya ako, na ang tanging inaasahan niya na makakatulong sa kaniya, ay iginugupo rin ng halu-halong damdamin.

The word "Matahom" reverberated in my mind, each syllable dripping with the venom of a past I had hoped was long buried. Matahom wasn't just any town; it was the small, defiant community that my father had demolished years ago. The families that refused to leave were left to face his wrath, and those who fought back were mercilessly killed. Pinanlalamigan ako ng kalmanan isipin ko pa lang ang katotohanan. My father's hands were stained with their blood.

My breath hitched as a realization struck me like a lightning bolt: Hans. He was from Matahom. His father had been one of the brave souls who died fighting against my father's tyranny.

"Ihinto mo, bababa ako." Walang lakas kong sabi kay Hans na tahimik lamang sa ginagawang pagmamaneho. Litong nilingon niya ako pero nanatiling nasa madilim na daan ang aking mga mata. "Ihinto mo..."

The man I once loved had been forged in the fires of my father's brutal ambition. Isa si Hans sa mga naging biktima ni Dad at hindi iyon natapos doon. He had been subjected in the same chaos I was in nang malaman ni Dad ang tungkol sa aming dalawa. Pinasakitan pa siyang lalo ng daddy. Now, Hans and the ghosts of Matahom had returned, seeking vengeance through Zach, torturing him in ways that defied imagination.

A storm of emotions raged within me—grief for the families destroyed by my father, guilt for the pain that had been inflicted in my name, and a rising tide of fury towards the man who had sired me. My father's ruthless ambition had not only torn apart innocent lives but had now reached out to destroy Zach. Si Zach na wala namang kinalaman, wala namang ginagawang masama sa kahit sino. The torment Zach endured was a direct consequence of my father's sins, and the thought of it twisted my heart in ways I could barely comprehend.

Lito man sa bigla kong utos ay agad rin namang itinigil ni Hans ang sasakyan. He pulled the car to a halt on the middle of a secluded bridge, the only light coming from the sparse streetlights. As soon as the car stopped, I practically leaped out. Ang malamig na pang gabing hangin ang siyang agad na sumalubong sa akin. It did little to help me breathe; I felt suffocated, my chest tightening with every breath I tried to take.

Water works started, and I was crying uncontrollably, the sobs tearing through me with a force I couldn't contain. Lahat ng pagpipigil ko kanina habang kaharap ko si Zach ay tuluyan ng kumawala. The enormity of it all crushed down on me. Si Zach... Pati siya nadamay na.

Naramdaman kong namatay ang makina ng sasakyan, kasunod noon ay ang pagbaba rin ni Hans. Inilang hakbang niya lang ang distansya ko sa kaniya, tumalikod ako. Ayaw ko. Ayaw kong makita niya akong ganito. I didn't want him to have the privilege of seeing me suffer.

"Caice..." Kalmado at mahinahon niyang tawag sa akin.

I couldn't stop thinking about how Hans could've known what happened to Zach. He was one of the people from Matahom. He could've known. Or maybe he had ulterior motives for why he was back in our lives after all these years. Kaya si Audrey naman? Kaya De Salvo na naman? Anger surged within me, overpowering the grief and sorrow that had consumed me just moments before.

"Did you know?" I snapped, my voice sharp and accusing as I turned to face him. "Did you know what they did to Zach? Did you know what was happening to him? Alam mo ba?"

Hindi siya agad nakasagot. Nanatili lamang sa akin ang kaniyang mga mata at mas gusto ko na lang panawan ng lakas dahil pakiramdam ko ay nahahati sa mas maliliit pang parte parte ang puso ko. Hans could lie to me, and I would still know anyway.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" I warned, stepping closer to him. "You're from Matahom, Hans! Of course, you could've known. You might even be part of this whole thing. Why else would you suddenly come back into our lives after all these years?"

His face hardened, a flash of anger crossing his features. "I wasn't part of anything, Caice."

I laughed bitterly, wiping away the tears streaming down my face. "Oh, but you did know!"

Pakiramdam ko ay tuluyan nang gumunaw ang mundo kong kanina pa bumibigay. My heart ached for a million reasons, and one of them was because I had hoped Hans wasn't in it. The thought of him being part of this nightmare was too much to bear. Totoong matagal na kaming nagkasira ni Hans, pero kailanman ay hindi ko naisip na makakaya niyang makibahagi sa ganito.

"You knew what they were doing to Zach," I continued, my voice rising with anger. "You knew, and you did nothing to stop it. Why, Hans? Why? Zach was innocent. He didn't hurt anyone. And they tortured him! It wasn't fair!"

Hans remained standing still, not moving even a bit. His eyes were intense, filled with a mix of emotions I couldn't fully decipher. Out of anger, I launched a slap on his face. The sound echoed in the night, a sharp reminder of the depth of my pain. He didn't flinch, didn't try to stop me, just stood there, taking it all in.

I slapped him again, harder this time. "How could you?" I screamed, my voice breaking. "How could you just stand by and let it happen?"

Hindi pa rin siya nagsalita. Kitang-kita ko ang pamumula ng kaniyang pisngi pero wala na akong pakialam. Alam kong kahit anong pananakit pa ang gawin ko sa kaniya, that wouldn't help Zach heal from the horror they put him through. But I still did it anyway!

I hit him again, and again, until my hands ached and the tears blurred my vision. Each slap was a release, a desperate attempt to rid myself of the anguish that consumed me. And still, he stood there, unmoving, letting me vent every bit of my rage.

Finally, the exhaustion set in, and I could do nothing more than cry. My knees gave way, and I crumpled to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Hans moved then, slowly, reaching out to seize me by the waist. I was too weak, too drained to resist.

"Bakit? Bakit mo hinayaang saktan nila si Zach?" Hinang-hina ko nang sabi, ni hindi ko alam kung naririnig niya pa ba ako pero wala na kasing ilalakas pa ang boses ko.

He pulled me close, holding me against his chest. "Huli na nang malaman ko ang plano ng Tiyo Ramon, Caice. Maniwala ka. I wasn't a part of it. Hinding-hindi ko magagawang manakit kahit gaano pa ako nasaktan..."

But you hurt me! Gusto kong isigaw ngunit pagod na akong magmukhang kawawa sa harap niya.

"Nang umalis ako ay naputol na rin ang koneksyon ko sa kaniya o sa kung sino pang naiwan na residente ng Matahom kaya hindi ko alam, Caice." Malumanay man ay naroon sa kaniyang tinig ang diin at pagsusumamong paniwalaan ko siya. Humigpit rin ang kapit sa akin ni Hans, gusto ko siya itulak pero wala akong lakas. "Kung hindi pa ako tinawagan ng uncle mo ay hindi ko malalaman ang nangyayari."

Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita. Gusto ko siyang magpatuloy kahit na hindi ako sigurado kung dapat ko nga ba siyang pagkatiwalaan.

"Red Santa de Leones," Hans continued, his voice low but steady. "Siya ang tumawag sa akin matapos niyang matukoy kung kaninong katawan ang ginamit para maging clone ni Zach. Si Albert, isa sa mga dating trabahador sa talyer ni Tiyo Ramon at isa rin sa mga namatayan sa Matahom. Your uncle thought I was his missing link kaya agad niya akong pinapuntahan sa mga tao niya. Gustuhin ko man bigyan siya ng kasagutan ay wala rin akong alam nang panahong iyon, Caice. Wala talaga."

I looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of deceit. He met my gaze unwaveringly.

"But with that call, nagkaroon ako ng dahilan para bumalik, para alamin kung tama ba ang kutob ko na may kinalaman si Tiyo Ramon, kung talagang hawak nila si Zach. At totoo nga."

"Why didn't you do something?"

Hans breathed heavily, never breaking eye contact with me. "I needed to gain their trust, Caice. I had to make them believe that I was still one of them. Minsan ko na silang tinalikuran dahil sa pag-ibig..."

Nabitin ang sinasabi ni Hans, hindi ako umimik dahil ayaw kong pansinin iyon. The pain had cut too deep to even hope.

"When I saw Zach, he was already beaten, barely holding on. I tried to help him as best as I could without raising suspicions. But I couldn't do more. Tinakot ako ni Tiyo Ramon."

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" I felt a cold dread settle in my stomach.

"Alam niya kung ano ang kahinaan ko, at iyon ang ginamit niya sa akin." Hans said, humugot siyang muli ng malalim na paghinga bago ipinagpatuloy ang sinasabi. "Uncle Ramon has become part of a Sicilian Mafia. Kung paano ay wala akong ideya. Maaaring dahil rin sa ilang taon niyang pagkakasangkot sa kung anu-anong ilegal na negosyo, he's been laundering money for syndicates for years. Sinabi niya na kung makikialam ako sa ginagawa nila, if I tried to help Zach in any way, he would hurt you. They had people monitoring your every move, watching you in Italy. I couldn't risk it."

My legs felt weak, and I stumbled back, leaning against the car for support. The thought of being watched, of being used as leverage against Hans, made my skin crawl.

Ako?

Bakit ako pa rin ang dahilan kung bakit nahirapan ang ibang tao?

Was I cursed or something? Lahat na lang ng gulo ay konektado sa akin! May kinalaman man ako o wala.

"So you just waited? You let them torture Zach while you played along?" Nang-aakusang tingin ang ibinato ko kay Hans nang lumapit siya sa akin.

Hindi niya pa rin inalis ang kaniyang mga kamay sa bewang ko kahit na may sinasandigan na ako.

"I didn't just wait. I did everything I could without drawing attention. I made sure Zach got food, that his wounds were treated as much as possible. I was trying to buy time, to find a way to get him out without putting you in danger."

"Hindi sapat iyon, Hans! Paano kung namatay si Zach sa mga panahong naghihintay ka, huh? You could've helped him! Hindi na bale kung madamay ako!" I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. "Every day, he suffered because of all of this. Mga bagay na wala naman siyang kinalaman!"

"I couldn't let them hurt you, Caice..." Halos bulong nang lumabas ang mga salitang iyon mula sa kaniyang mga labi.

"Hindi rin hahayaan ni Uncle Red na may mangyaring masama sa akin! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa kaniya? Hindi ba't siya na mismo ang lumapit sa'yo?" Frustration for something that could no longer be changed gnawed at me. "Uncle Red was more powerful than anyone I know!"

Hans shook his head. "I thought about it. I thought about going to your uncle. But then I realized that it wasn't just about power. It was about strategy. If your uncle had made a move too soon, they would've known. They would've taken it out on you, Caice. Hindi ko puwedeng isugal 'yun. Bukod sa puwedeng mas marami ang madamay. Hindi nila alintala kung ilan pang inosenteng buhay ang masayang para lang sa munting impormasyon tungkol sa daddy mo."

"Then bakit hindi ako ang kinuha nila kung ganoong alam naman pala nila kung nasaan ako?"

"You were their link to me, Caice," Hans said softly. "They would have used you against me in ways you can't even imagine. To them, you were a leverage. And as long as they had that, they could control me."

I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. My father's actions had set off a chain of events that had dragged us all into this nightmare. Gusto ko lang matawa kasi bakit parang ang labas ay may pakialam pa si Hans sa akin? Na parang hindi niya ako iniwan maraming taon na ang nakalilipas?

"You should've trusted Uncle Red," I whispered. "He would've found a way."

"Maybe," Hans conceded. "Maybe he would have. Pero hindi rin madaling basta na lang kumilos. Every decision felt like a knife's edge, and I was walking it blind."

"Ninety-two days, Hans. Zach suffered for ninety-two days while you played their game!"

"It wasn't a game," Hans said, his voice rising slightly, a hint of desperation in his tone. "It was survival. Every day, every hour, I was trying to find a way to help Zach, to keep you safe. It tore me apart, Caice. Every time I looked at Zach, I saw what they were doing to him, and I hated myself for not being able to do more."

I stood face to face with Hans and every fiber of my being felt drained. It was as if the torrent of emotions I had been holding back finally broke through, leaving me feeling empty and exhausted. My throat throbbed with the aftermath of all the crying and screaming I did.

I had poured out my heart, my anger, my anguish, but it had all been in vain. No amount of tears could wash away the pain that Zach had endured, nor could they erase the scars that marred his spirit.

Lightly, I pushed Hans away, my touch weak and defeated.

"Drive me to Icen's place," I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. "And don't ever show your face again."

Nakita ko ang dagling pagdaan ng sakit sa kaniyang mga mata. Sinubukan niya akong abutin ngunit umiwas ako. Pagod na pagod na ako. Pagod na pagod na akong masaktan.

"No," umiling ako bago pa siya makapagsalita. "All we create between us is chaos, Hans. We're like a big, unstoppable storm that only brings destruction. I can't do this anymore. I can't be a part of this cycle of pain and suffering."

"Caice, listen to me," Hans pleaded, taking a step closer. "I never wanted this for you—"

Muli akong umiling. Anong buti pa ba ang maidudulot noon sakaling paniwalaan ko nga?

"It's too late. Zach is broken, and nothing we do can change that. I need to focus on helping him, on making sure he can heal. And I can't do that with you around. You're a constant reminder of everything that's gone wrong."