This was real.

Padabog kong sinundan si Hans nang mauna ito pabalik sa sinasabi niyang bahay na pag-aari niya. Wala na akong pakialam sa init ng buhangin na pinagbabaunan ng aking mga paa sa bawat mabibigat kong hakbang.

Fuck. I kissed him.

Fuck!

Ano bang pumasok sa isip ko at ginawa ko iyon? Kung panaginip man nga ang lahat ng ito ay hindi naman sapat na dahilan iyon para halikan ko siya, hindi ba? God! What was I thinking? Well, clearly, I wasn't thinking!

"Paanong narito ako kung ganoon?" Sinundan ko si Hans nang magtuloy-tuloy siya sa kusina. Likod niya lang ang tanaw ko. If you thought that helped me, well it didn't.

Iniwas ko ang aking mga mata sa mas depinado pa niyang likod. Ang pawis na tumatagaktak doon ay sapat lamang para mas maging mapang-akit ang bahaging iyon.

Dammit, why did he have to be so hot? At bakit nga parang mas dumoble pa ang katangian niyang iyon? Hindi man lamang siya pumangit kahit bahagya.

Hans's tall stature filled the room, his broad shoulders accentuating his strong physique. He moved with a confidence that was both infuriating and undeniably attractive. Sinasadya niya bang gumanyan sa harap ko?

As he put the pail in the sink and began washing his hands, I tried to focus on my anger rather than the way his muscles flexed with every movement. But it was a losing battle.

"Anong gusto mong luto ng isda?" Tanong niya, imbes na sagutin ako.

His question snapped me out of my reverie, and I frowned, shaking my head. "What?" I asked incredulously. "I'm not hungry, Hans. I just need to know why and how I'm here."

Hans turned to face me, his expression serious. "Hindi ko alam,"

"Anong hindi mo alam?" Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang pagtaas ng aking tinig. Nakakaloko naman kasi. Paanong hindi niya alam?

Hans looked at me as though he was losing all his patience. "You told me to never show my face again," sinabi niya iyon sa tinig na para bang nakalimutan ko ang mga naging tagpo ng pagkikita naming iyon. "Tapos ngayong umaga ay magigising akong himbing kang natutulog sa kabilang silid. Bahay ko ito, hindi ba dapat ako ang nagtatanong sa'yo kung ano ang ginagawa mo rito? Bakit parang ikaw pa ang nagagalit ngayon?"

I tried to search for the truth in his eyes, but all I found was frustration and confusion. Huh? Hindi rin niya alam kung paanong naririto ako ngayon? Kung ganoon ay sinong may alam?

"I don't remember how I got here either." I whispered to myself.

"Well, that makes two of us," he muttered after hearing it.

Duda ko pa rin siyang tiningala ng tingin. "Pinaglalaruan mo ba ako, Hans?"

"I should be the one asking you that question," bawi niya sa mas mariing tinig. Gusto ko biglang kabahan lalo nang humakbang siyang palapit sa akin. Agad akong umiwas.

He took another step closer to me, and I couldn't help but back away until I was trapped between the counter and his imposing frame.

"Pinaglalaruan mo ba ako, Caice?" he asked, his voice low and intense.

I found myself rendered speechless, unable to formulate a response as he closed the distance between us. His proximity was overwhelming, and I could feel the heat radiating off his body. Ang pagkakatanda ko ay sariwa ang hangin na pumapasok sa buong kabahayan mula sa payapang dalampasigan, pero bakit biglang napakainit naman ngayon?

He didn't give me a chance to answer as he continued to press me for an explanation. "What the fuck is this game?" he demanded, his gaze piercing into mine.

I pushed against his chest, trying to create some distance between us, but he remained steadfast, towering over me with ease. "Masyado kang malapit!"

"Hindi mo alintana 'yan kanina nang halikan mo ako," paalala niya bago muling balikan ang aming pinag-uusapan. "Nang huli tayong magkita ay itinaboy mo ako. Ano at narito ka ngayon?"

I swallowed, unable to meet his gaze as guilt and confusion gnawed at me. I didn't have a clear answer to his questions, and the weight of his scrutiny only made me feel more uncertain.

Ano bang sitwasyon itong kinalalagyan ko ngayon? Paanong narito ako? Anong nangyari? Bakit?

Talaga nga bang wala siyang alam? Magaling magpaikot si Hans! Dapat ay nadala na ako, eh. Hindi siya dapat basta-bastang pinagkakatiwalaan!

"If you don't know how and why I'm here, then how the fuck are you so calm?" I demanded, my voice rising in anger.

Tumaas ang kaniyang kilay kasabay ng pag-angat ng isang sulok ng kaniyang mga labi. "Anong gusto mo magwala rin ako? Dapat ba'y ginising kita kanina nang matagpuan kitang payapang natutulog sa isa sa mga silid sa itaas? Ganoon ba ang inaasahan mong reaksyon sa akin, Caice?"

Oo? Gusto kong sabihin na oo pero ngayon ay hindi na ako sigurado. Would it help our confusing situation kung pati siya ay sasabay sa paghihisterya ko? I knew it wouldn't the moment the question entered my mind.

Umangat ang kaniyang kamay pahaplos sa aking pisngi, agad akong natigilan. Maging siya ay ganoon rin, para bang wala sa loob ang ginawa niyang iyon. And yet, he didn't move away. Nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin.

"Kalmado ako dahil kilala kita, Caice." Mahinahon niyang sabi. "We'll figure this out together. Pero puwede bang kumain muna tayo dahil kanina pa ako sa laot nagugutom."

For a moment, I almost forgot about everything else. Pero minsan na akong naging tanga, ayaw ko ng ulitin pa.

I pushed his hand away, sinubukan kong muling kumawala sa kaniya at sa pagkakataong iyon ay hinayaan niya ako. What made him think na kilala niya pa rin ako hanggang ngayon?

Dahil hinalikan mo siya, tonta!

Inignora ko ang sigaw na iyon mula sa isang bahagi ng aking isipan. Hindi naman kasi iyon nakakatulong.

"I don't know anything, and until I do, I'm not going to pretend like everything's okay." Pagalit ko pa rin sabi bago siya talikuran. "Kumain ka mag-isa mo!"

Ano bang akala niya? Ayos lang sa akin ang ganito na parang walang bundok ng kaguluhan na nakapagitan sa aming dalawa? Siya ata ang nanaginip kung ganoon!

Lumabas ako ng bahay niya dahil pakiramdam ko ay nasusunog ako doon kahit hindi naman talaga mainit. Nalulunod rin kahit wala namang tubig. Lahat ng ala-alang namin ni Hans ay bumabalik sa akin, nakikisabay pa sa lahat ng pagkalitong aking nararamdaman.

Padabog akong naupo sa buhangin at tinanaw ang malawak na karagatan. I needed space, air, anything to cool the flames threatening to engulf me. I felt the grains shift beneath my feet, the coolness a sharp contrast to the searing heat of my anger. But even the soothing touch of the sand couldn't quell the turmoil raging inside me. Hindi pa rin ako makalma.

I scanned the shoreline, searching for any sign of a boat, but there was none except for the one Hans had docked nearby. The sight of it only fueled my frustration further. How could he be so calm when I felt like I was drowning?

Turning my gaze to the vast expanse of the ocean, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by its sheer magnitude. It stretched out before me, endless and unfathomable, a silent witness to the chaos brewing within me.

I imagined all the world's problems sinking into its depths, swallowed by the darkness below. How chaotic it must be down there, hidden from view yet teeming with unseen turmoil. It was a sobering thought, a reminder of the vastness of the world and the insignificance of my own troubles.

But even as I marveled at the ocean's power, I couldn't shake the anger burning inside me. Hans had a lot of nerve, showing up like this and expecting everything to be okay. Nakalimutan niya na ba na pinilit ko siyang isama ako pero iniwan niya ako. Instead, he chose to be with his cougar. Tapos ngayon ay kung umasta akala mo hindi niya ako dinurog ng husto.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na nakatitig sa kawalan. Naramdaman ko na lamang ang magagan niyang hakbang mula sa likuran ko, matapos ay sumulpot na siya sa aking tabi. He was holding a plate in his hand, hindi pa rin ako lumingon sa bahagi niya. I could feel his eyes on me, ayaw ko ng paraan ng paninitig niya na para bang may karapatan pa siyang gawin iyon.

"Here," he said, his voice soft yet insistent as he held out the plate to me. "You need to eat."

"Hindi ako gutom," pero sukat doon ay biglang tumunog ang aking sikmura. Great. Pati ang tiyan ko ay kakampi pa yata sa kaniya!

Kita ko mula sa sulok ng aking mga mata kung paano niya kinagat ang kaniyang ibabang labi upang pigilin ang akmang pagtawa sa nangyari. Tumikhim siya bago pa ako makapagsalita.

"Alam nating pareho na gutom ka nga. Kumain ka, Caice. I know you're angry, and you have every right to be, but starving yourself won't solve anything."

"At ano kung ganoon ang tamang solusyon sa sitwasyon natin ngayon?" Galit ko siyang binalingan, nakasuot na siya ng puting t-shirt ngunit ang pantalon ay basa pa rin. "Hindi mo ako madadaan sa ganyan, Hans!"

"Hindi kita sinusubukang daanin sa kahit ano," kalmado niyang sabi, dagling niyuko ako ng tingin bago muling ilapit sa akin ang plato. "Kumain ka muna atsaka tayo mag-usap."

Hans's calm demeanor and the look in his eyes brooked no argument. Reluctantly, I glanced down at the plate he offered, finding a simple meal of fried tilapia, rice, and some vegetables. It was clear that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, and as much as I hated to admit it, my stomach grumbled in agreement.

"Susubuan pa ba kita, Caice?" Hamon niya, kinuha ang kutsara at pinunuan iyon ng kanin at hinimay na tilapia bago itapat sa bibig ko.

I shot him a glare, annoyed by his persistence, but he merely raised an eyebrow in response, his expression unwavering. With a sigh of resignation, I conceded and reached for the plate. Marahas kong inagaw sa kaniya ang kutsara at pilit na pilit na isinubo ang pagkain.

Hans watched me intently, his expression unreadable, as I took a small bite of the tilapia. The taste was familiar yet foreign, and I couldn't help but wonder how he had managed to cook it so perfectly. Pero syempre, hindi ko ipapahalata sa kaniyang nasasarapan nga ako doon. Hindi na baleng bumulagta na lang ako rito sa buhanginan.

As I ate, Hans remained silent, his gaze never leaving me. It was unnerving, the way he watched me so closely as if trying to decipher the thoughts running through my mind. I felt exposed under his scrutiny, every insecurity laid bare for him to see.

Binilisan ko ang ginagawang pagkain. Hindi lang dahil sa naiilang ako sa ginagawa niyang paninitig kundi dahil na rin sa kagustuhang mapag-usapan na ang sitwasyong kinalalagyan naming pareho.

"I'm done," I muttered, avoiding his gaze.

Tumayo si Hans hawak ang plato sa isang kamay habang ang isa ay pinagpag ang suot na pantalon. Binalingan niya ako kasabay ng paglahad ng kamay. "Pumasok muna tayo sa loob para makainom ka ng tubig."

Ignoring his hand, I stood up on my own and walked ahead into the house, feeling his presence trailing behind me. Naiinis pa rin ako dahil hindi ko pa rin alam kung paanong nasa ganitong sitwasyon ako.

Once inside, I headed to the living room, while Hans made his way to the kitchen. The house was quiet except for the occasional clinking of dishes and the gentle hum of the refrigerator. I stood awkwardly, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to make sense of the situation.

A few moments later, Hans returned with a glass of water. He handed it to me without a word, pero sapat na ang paninitig niya para malaman kong wala siyang balak umalis sa harapan ko hangga't hindi ko iyon kinukuha.

I took the glass from him, my fingers brushing against his, sending a jolt of unwanted familiarity through me.

"Salamat," pilit kong sabi dahil hindi naman ako bastos.

The water was cool and refreshing, kung kailan nakainom na ako ay doon ko lang naramdaman ang labis na pagkauhaw. Masyado akong maraming iniisip para unahin ang anumang pangangailangan ng katawan ko tulad ng tubig at pagkain.

I hated that.

Prenteng naupo si Hans sa sofa na naroon sa gilid, pinagmamasdan pa rin ako habang nakatayo sa harapan niya. Malaki naman ang sofa, kaya lang sa presensya niya ay nagmumukhang kulang para sa limang tao ang upuang iyon.

"Everything is so messed up." Sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin ay ang mga salitang iyon ang lumabas sa aking bibig.

"Sana'y may sagot ako sa mga magiging katanungan mo, Caice. Kaya lang ay pareho lang tayong walang alam sa kung paanong napunta ka sa poder ko." Tahimik niyang sabi.

I sighed, feeling like we were just running in circles. "Do you have a phone I can use? I need to make a call."

Hans nodded. "Nasa kwarto ko sa taas. Sandali lang."

I watched as he stood up and headed upstairs. The house felt vastly simpler than his loft in Manila. The furniture was minimal, the decor understated. It seemed to reflect the Hans I used to know.

He returned a few moments later, holding a phone. Walang kibong ibinigay niya iyon sa akin.

"Thanks," hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng panahon, I immediately dialed Kourtney's number. The phone rang, but no one answered. I tried again, the ringing echoing in the quiet house. Still no answer.

Next, I dialed my mother's number. The same result—ringing, but no response. Panic started to bubble up inside me as I tried Zach's number. Again, no answer.

Frustrated, I handed the phone back to Hans. "Walang sumasagot. Kourtney, Mom, Zach... None of them are picking up."

Hans frowned, taking the phone from me. "Maybe there's no signal here. Minsan ay ganoon, eh."

I shook my head. "No, it rang. They just didn't answer."

"Baka may ginagawa. Subukan mo ulit mamaya," suhestyon niya.

Susubukan ko talaga.

"Something's not right, Hans. Something's very wrong." Hindi ko mapigilang sabihin. Hindi ko rin kasi maiwasang maisip na sadya ang lahat, pero nino?

"Panicking won't help. Let's try to figure this out calmly."

"Calmly?" I almost laughed. "I woke up in a strange place, with no memory of how I got here, tapos wala ni isa sa mga tinawagan ko ang sumasagot and you want me to stay calm?"

"Caice," he said, his tone firm but gentle, "we'll get to the bottom of this. But we need to keep our heads clear."

I wanted to argue, to shout at him that he didn't understand, but deep down, I knew he was right. Panicking wouldn't solve anything. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart.

"Okay," I said finally. "What do we do now?"

"We wait for them to call back,"