Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Laila's eyes flew open. She surveyed the green parking lot to find a few people getting into or out of their cars. Her eyes landed on the leather bag she had dropped a few minutes ago.

She had been standing for minutes with her eyes closed. Now, granted she was still angry, she felt less angry than when the bastard had walked out on her.

She sighed, kicking the bag with her crocs until the contents tumbled.

"Hmm. First time I'm seeing you disrespect food."

Not now, please.

Laila spiraled until she was facing the owner of the voice. Her legs bent forward and backward as she fisted and un-fisted her hands.

The voice came, again. "You didn't come to my office."

She scoffed, taking a step forward. "So, you decided to stalk me?"

He shook his head, walking towards her as she took a few steps back. He noticed that, his eyes glancing at her fidgety legs and then back to her hassled face. "No," His arm shot to point at the four-story building of the hospital. "If you haven't noticed, my office gives a view of this wonderful parking lot," He patted his front slack pocket. "I came out to smoke."

Lips set into a thin line, she gritted. "You relapsed?"

He nodded, taking a few steps until he was over her, his white coat now gone and he was in his dress shirt and suit pants. "You were the only reason why i stayed away..."

Laila bit the inside of her cheek as her legs bounced. She had nothing to say now. You can only get over an addiction if you have the strong desire to. She couldn't keep up.

Firm hands rose and slowly settled on her shoulders. Her legs halted to stand straight and the pressure on the inside of her cheek increased.

Before he could say something, she beat him to it. "What'd you want to talk about?"

He ignored her, his fingers moving from her shoulders to her back as he carefully massaged her. She visibly relaxed, her eyes closing and her palms rising to land on his chest but didn't push him.

He went on, the only sound being heard apart from the swaying trees and faint cars was that of her low moan of pleasure.

When his fingers reached her waist, he revived and lifted her cotton veil until he was snaking his arms around her hips and pulling her into him.

She didn't protest, instead, their eyes met and she averted them to his chest instead. "You don't even want to look at me anymore, Laila."

"I don't."

"Hmm." He nodded. The topic was too dense, he decided to switch it. "How's this clinic treating you?"

Her head moved back to look at him, her lips curling up as she scrunched up her face. "You're a horrible liar." He playfully narrowed his eyes and so did she. Then, they burst out laughing. "That's not how you said it would be. Come and study medicine, you said. It'll be fun. This is not what i signed up for."

"Uhmm...but you can't deny it's fun somedays right?"

She shook her head. "Whether it is fun or not, it doesn't matter. I am a few months before my 3rd MB exams. Then I'll be in my final year. There's no going back."

His grin widened and he grabbed her tighter. "I'm proud of you."

She bit the inside of her cheek, scrunching her nose to push her specs up her nose. "I know. You should be. I'm losing my mind, all day, every day."

"It doesn't get easier. But you're stronger. And you got this, Laila."

"I got this." She repeated and placed her palms on his arm, wordlessly asking him to release her. He loosened his arms and watched her take steps back, her muscles suddenly going tense.

His fingers found comfort in his front pants pocket as he struggled with the right words. He gestured at her back, pointing at nothing. "Who was that?"

She rose a brow and stopped biting her fingers. "What?"

"You know who i mean. I saw your pictures online but they were no captions. Is he someone i should know?"

Instantly, a reply rolled off her tongue. "Oh that? That was Adam A Zango. You didn't recognize him?"

Nurain sighed, clearing his throat and shaking his head. "I don't have time for jokes, Laila. Who was that?"

She took more steps back, almost afraid of her answer. She shrugged, clasping her agitated fingers. "He uh..."

"He uh?" His head came forward, hanging as he urged on.

"My husband."

He waited for her to burst into laughter but she didn't.

He stepped forward. "Your husband?" He asked, his tone amused. "Your husband de? When did you join the comedy industry, Laila?"

She shook her head, bouncing her legs and bringing her arm behind her butt. "I'm not joking."

He stared at her, his head almost falling off his neck as he tried to detect any humor in her visage. He didn't find any.

His hand hiked, shaking back and forth, "Your husband?"

Spite oozed out of her as she let her head sway in anger. "Yes. My husband. I'm married now. So, you stay away from me."

He chuckled, placing his hands on akimbo as he threw his head back and laughed. "You're joking right?"

"I. Am. Not." She gritted.

He howled further, giving her acting skills a 10 out of 10. In between laughter, he managed out. "If he...he is your husband as you say...why were you in my bed a week back?"

Laila's teeth grit against each other, glaring at the man laughing as if he was watching-watching her- a comedy show. He had just called her a whore and she was just standing, disappointing her family.

When it died down, he took a dangerous step toward her, all trace of lark vanishing as his visage grew into a serious one that mirrored Laila's. Except hers was mixed with anger.

"Drop this funny act, Laila. Tell me you're not living under another man's roof when i am still alive. Wait-what? Is that why you go to that Mamman estate a lot now? Are you insane? Did you start doing drugs?"

She nodded, a maniacal smile spreading across her lips. "You know what? That is exactly what i am doing. And it only took your coward and insecure ass 2 seconds to approach me after seeing me with another man. Bravo."

A few moments of silence graced them with their chests heaving with deep, heavy breaths.

Nurain ran his palm back and forth over his low cut while shaking his head. What was he going to do with this woman? He faced her, his index shaking as he refused to believe what she was saying. "So...i let you have your space for like what?" His arms went up. "For like a few months. And then you let people get into your head to think i'll let you go that easily?"

She scoffed and chuckled humorlessly. "Who the hell do you think you are that you won't let me go? After all you've done?"

"I apologized. I gave you space. I didn't ask you to stay or forgive me right away because i deserved whatever punishment but i was never going to let you go and you knew that!"

All his speech, she heard one thing. She took a step forward, leaning towards his face. "Apologize? Apologize you say? You ruined my life. You are the reason i got married to Sudais in the first place!"

"How am i to blame for your fake marriage, Laila?"

"Oh then i am the one to blame for cheating?"

"That was a mistake!" He howled.

She howled back. "You mistakenly tripped and fell into another woman's vagina?"

He grabbed the sides of his head and shook in rage. "You're talking as if you're a saint!"

Laila's mouth went agape. She gulped, battling with her words. "Y-you..." this was what they were doing huh? She gripped her head in her palms as she threw her head back and chuckled. Serves her right for cheating too. Now, not only Sudais looked at her as if she was a cheap whore, so did Nurain. "Unlike you, i at least had the decency to be broken up before i let another man close to me."

"That is not how this is!"

"How is it then? How, Nura?"

He paced back and forth, stopping in between breaths to glance at her. He finally sighed, repeatedly lifting and dropping his arms. "Listen..." he stalled closer, placing palms on her shoulders which she immediately hit and stepped away from.

In a much more soft and composed voice, he started, his poise shifting into a soft one. "Baby, listen to me. You can't-we can't-God! You can't leave me, babe, please... You can't leave me now. No-" he shook his head, their eyes mirroring as her sclera started to become pink and water packed at the edges. "N-not after everything we've been through. Not when you're so close to your dreams. To our dreams..." he advanced to pull her into a hug and she didn't protest.

Her arms hung loosely at her side as she breathed in his scent.

His face in her neck, or rather, shielded by her Hijab, he whispered. "I love you." She shut off her eyes. No. He couldn't do this, not when it was hard to move on already. She would pathetically go back to him just for saying that. Please. "I love you, babe. You know i do."

Her arms lifted but not to hug him. She gripped his arms and stepped back as he struggled to let her go. She wasn't going to fight him. She had done enough of that. "Let me go, please." God, she sounded so pathetic, she wanted to slap herself.

He did, releasing her waist but immediately gripping her palm which she flung out of his grip.

Wiping the sweat that had gathered on her forehead and in a soft voice, she concluded, "I'm done talking. Let's keep this professional. I'm just a student and you're one of the fellows in the pediatrics department. Nothing more."

He shook his head with widened eyes. "But, you know that's not true. And we're not done talking. Let's uh-" he lifted a hand to his head, closing his eyes as he searched for information. It clicked, and he pulled her hands to his chest. "Let's go get you some food and Caprisun and let's talk and clear all uh-all this up. I can't lose-"

Laila's snatched her hands away when she realized he wasn't going to make this easy. She stepped to the side and walked a few feet away before she muttered, loud enough for him to hear. "We're done talking."

"Laila."

She kept walking.

"Halima! I am tired of this. Why are you acting as if we're still not married?"

Laila stopped in her tracks, whipping to him then burst into laughter. "You're going to say anything to save yourself, won't you?"

He shook his head, brows furrowed with his arms stretched to her. "What? Di-did you even read my text?"

She nodded, lying.

"So, why the hell do you think you're married to some other guy and not me? Enough is enough, I command you to come home Because i am sure i never divorced you," all trace of anger left him and his voice dropped to a whisper that Laila couldn't catch, "And I'll never divorce you..."

Laila hissed and let out a breath, turned and walked, almost ran away from the scene until her name in his voice was just an echo in her head.

With shaky fingers, she skimmed her phone from her pocket and dialed Naimat's line.

On the 3rd ring, the girl picked up.

"Where are you, Naimat?"

"I'm at the A&E. What about you?"

"I just left the parking lot. I uh-hmm...i spoke to Nura."

"Nura? Nurain? Mr erythroblastosis?" Laila chuckled at the memory of the condition that got her and Naimat a punishment from Nurain and a conso a few days back.

"Yeah..."

"You'll find me at the entrance, be quick. Come and gist me and ohh! And we have to head for this meeting these people are holding."

She ended the call and paced off to the A&E building.

At the busy A&E with the two ambulances wailing as the nurses and emergency doctors wheeled injured patients into treatment, Laila sighed, shaking her head. It was a normal day at the clinic. As not one day-ok maybe there was- went by without accidents being reported in.

She spotted Naimat at the entrance like she promised, speaking to a guy.

She walked up to them, pushing her specs further up her nose. "Hi."

"Hey!" Naimat was like a photocopy of Maya. A loud person.

"Hi." Laila waved at the man who waved back and the duo conversed a more before they concluded and Laila followed her to get something from whoever before they headed to their meeting.

Naimat was too much of a people's person, wallahi. She had Laila stopping to greet whoever they met on their way. Which was a lot. After all, they had crossed over to the clinic over two years ago. They were quite acquainted with the staff.

But then, Laila was glad for the distraction.

Nurain really knew how to mess her up with just his words. She hated to admit it, but, Daddy was right. Mami was right. Shehu was right. They were no good for each other.

"Hmm...another accident," Naimat muttered, pulling Laila to the side to allow the paramedic's wheel 3 victims in.

Laila lifted her gaze just in time to notice a familiar person as the victim on the 2nd stretcher. She halted, turning her head in sync with the person being wheeled in and jerked back, her hand holding her phone flying to her chest.

What? No.

"Wait!" She yelled as she ran to the crowd, Naimat hot on her tail.

She caught up to them but the victim had already been wheeled into the dressing room.

All the paramedics stuffed themselves into the room before closing it, leaving Laila, Naimat, and two women. One was a nurse and the other looked like a less injured victim.

The nurse wrapped an arm around the less injured girl before Laila caught up to them.

"Wait." The ladies glanced at a heaving Laila who pointed at the door the medics disappeared into. "Who was just wheeled in?"

The women exchanged strange looks as Naimat grabbed Laila's arm. "What is wrong with you? Do you know the victim?"

Laila nodded, stepping closer to the nurse and girl. "Yeah, she's my sister."

The nurse exchanged a look with the victim before asking her, "Ma'am, do you know this woman?"

The girl shook her head. "No."

"May she perhaps be a sister to the wounded?" The girl shook her head again and winced.

The nurse guided the girl to another dressing room with Laila on their trail.

"Ma'am, this lady said it's not your sister. Maybe you mistook her."

Laila ignored the nurse as she bent to look at the girl in pain. "I'm her sister-in-law, i mean. That's Maryam Idris Mamman, right?"

The girl narrowed her eyes at how the woman knew her full name and claimed to be her sister or in-law when she knew Maryam's immediate family and Laila wasn't one.

Laila squatted to her knees as Naimat, the nurse, and the girl scrutinized her. "She's the last born of the sultan of Yola, right?"

The girl nodded.

Laila craned her head, thinking of what to add to make-believe. "She has an older brother Sudais, but she calls him Hamma, right?"

"Yes."

"That's my husband. We're newly wedding." At this point, was he really her husband? Was Nurain just bluffing or was it a possibility?

"You're married to who?" Naimat exclaimed, her hand flying to her chest.

"Okay but don't call him, please. Maryam is scared of him and she kept saying he'll kill her when we got into the accident."

Knowing she would go against her, Laila still nodded to get the girl to calm down. "Who was driving?"

"It was Maryam."

"How many of you were in the car?"

"Just 3. Me, her, and our classmate, Ibrahim."

Laila surveyed the room as if asking where he was. "Where is he?"

The girl pointed at the door, sighing and leaning back on the wall to close her eyes out of exhaustion. "Dressing room. He and Maryam got injured more because they were in the front."

"Where's the girl that was just brought in?" They heard a faint voice ask until the owner appeared.

He hoisted the curtains to come in. When he did, with Laila knowing doctors, she immediately knew he came with bad news.

Laila stood up, stepping closer to him as she shook her head. Please, no.

"Ok..." he took a deep breath, calculating his words as he looked at the wounded girl. "Um-your friends are okay. Will be okay. Just a few stitches and scratches that'll heal. But-"

There it goes.

"B-but what?" The girl's cracked voice came as she waited for the bad news, her eyes already filled with tears.

"The...the boy that got hit was dead before we could do anything. I'm so sorry."

Mima hit a boy that was now dead?

Mess up.

The man fled the scene, over the sound of the girl starting to sob.

Laila and Naimat joined the girl on the bench as they looked down and tried to stay calm for the sake of the wounded.

A few minutes went by and the girl still hadn't stopped crying. The students knew better than to apologize or try to comfort her. She needed to cry. It was mandatory.

Laila excused herself to the less busy side of the A&E department and Naimat followed her. In a whisper, the girl almost yelled. "Halima you got married to who? What about Nurain?"

Laila shook her head and then nodded. "Yes, i did. And no, we're not talking about that here." Naimat made a move to ask another question but Laila cut her, knowing how hellbent the girl could be. "I'll tell you everything. But i have to do this."

Against her will, she dialed Sudais' number.

As expected, he didn't pick up the first time or the next time.

If persistence was a person, it'd be Laila, and she'd show him that.

On the fifth call, he answered.

***

Sudais was caught in stupid traffic.

You know what they say about humans being ungrateful little shits?

That was what Sudais was being at that time.

Lagos traffic could drive a person insane, he was one to tell the tales. Abuja's traffic, not so much, slowly but steady, the hold up would disperse in minutes unlike Lagos' which takes hours.

He hissed for countless time that day and declined Laila's call.

She had just finished throwing all the insults she had at him, did she have more?

The fifth call came and this time, he clicked the green circle, and set the phone on speaker before yelling. "What? Haven't you said enough?"

"As much as I don't want to speak or see you, you need to come back."

He shook his head, honking at the uber that overtook his space and almost scratched his car. "I don't want to come."

"You have no choice. I don't want to be a horrible person by-"

"You are a horrible person-"

"A horrible person will not call you to tell you your sister got into an accident. A horrible pe-"

"Maijidda got into an accident? Noi hude dun? (How did this happen?) With her kids? Or her husband? Was she alone?" He unconsciously released his foot from the breaks.

"Not Maijidda, Mima."

"Mima! Mima kuma?" At the realization that he would crash into the car in front of him, he stepped on the breaks and heard another car crashing into the back of his. "Innalillahi! I'll be right there." He ended the call and lowered his glass to insult the man in the car behind him despite knowing it was his fault he crashed into his car in the first place.

He ignored the honks from around him and furiously tapped his fingers on the steering over the sound of his heartbeat and fast heart rate.

Traffic was a bitch.

What under normal circumstances should've been a simple 5 minutes drive to the clinic was now 20 minutes.

At the gate, Sudais was gripping the steering with one hand and dialing Laila's contact with the other.

"Toi a ma? (Where are you?)" He questioned immediately she answered.

"A&E. I'll meet you at the entrance." Then she switched the phone off. He tossed it to the passenger seat and was parking awkwardly opposite the A&E building.

As said, he found Laila at the entrance as he ran to her and she led him in.

"I had them transfer her into a private room. You'll fill out some paperwork. Mostly, she's fine. She'll just be in shock after finding out the boy is dead." Sudais stopped in his tracks, reaching to grip Laila's upper arm.

His hand stopped mid-air, dreading the answer to his question. "Sadiya, wha-what boy?"

"The boy she crashed."

His eyes bulged out, "She was the one driving?"

Laila hummed, finding it annoying how sexist he sounded about his sister driving. As if women weren't allowed to.

"Kai, women in my family don't drive. Mima bata jiran kanta. She's 17 years old and now has blood on her hands."

Laila tensed up. She stepped closer to him, poking a finger at his still Khaki-covered chest, and gritted. "She doesn't have blood on her hands. She got into an accident."

"That's not how she's going to look at it. She's going to blame herself and mentally suffer because of this." His arms swept in the air in frustration and pity, his eyes turning pink just and the veins on his hands already large and prominent.

Laila sighed at that, knowing he was right.

It was the mental torture we put ourselves through. It always was.

She stepped back, taking a few seconds to herself before leading to the room.

Surprisingly, they found an already woken up Mima with only a bandage around her left wrist and forehead who was sitting up in the bed as she surveyed the room.

At the sight of Laila, she wailed, spreading her arms for a hug and Laila obliged. Mima buried her face into Laila's covered neck and lightly sobbed, unaware of her brother's presence.

In a whisper, Mima questioned, "Di-did you like...uh see the boy? How do you think? is...he doing ok? He'll be fine ba?"

Laila sucked in a breath and kept mum, soothing the girls back as she looked for a way to break the news. She didn't have anything good, so, she went for the known. "I am...so sorry, Mima. I am so sorry."

Mima froze, her arm around Laila's back stilled in place and so did her breath.

"He's dead?" She moved away from Laila, eyes wide and body already trembling. "He's dead?"

Laila nodded, shifting to pull the girl into a hug.

In the process, Mima's eyes landed on Sudais that still stood in shock at the door.

She jerked, lifting her arms as she started to shake her head and move back. He shook himself out of his trance and started to walk to her.

Her wails immediately began. "Hamma kayi haquri!"

"It's okay,"  he said, reassuring her he wasn't going to do anything but she didn't buy it. She jumped off the bed and pulled Laila in front of her.

"Bazan sake ba! Anty Laila ki bashi haquri."

"Don't hurt yourself." He stepped closer, only for her to yell, sobbing as she fell to her knees.

"I just killed a boy! Wallahi ba da gangan nayi ba."

He shook his head, his expression that of confusion. He was an asshole but he wouldn't hit her in a hospital. "Mi naunata ma, Mima. (I'm not going to hurt you, Mima.) Calm down."

She let out another scream in fear at him approaching her. She moved her weight to her butt and dragged herself to the wall, shaking with controllable tears, "Don Allah karka doken. Karka doken, Hamma." She jerked further when he walked past Laila who stood rooted to her spot, too stunned to speak as her own memories hit her.

Sudais left a reasonable amount of space between them before squatting to his knees.

At the sight of the shaky, wounded girl, he felt his heart shatter at the fact that she thought so low of him, she was cowering away.

It wasn't her fault.

He raised his palms, nodding and reassuring her, "Wallahi Mima I won't do that. Ba lefin ki bane."

"Lefi nane!" She cut him as she continued to hug her knees to her chest.

He inched closer and she jerked back while shaking her head, "Hamma ka bari! Don Allah, kayi haquri. Bazan qara ba. Yaron ya mutu."

"Mi wadi alqawar mi fiyata ma, Mima. (I promise I won't hit you, Mima) haba! I need you to calm down. You're going to hurt yourself. Please. I-i...I'm sorry," he cast his eyes down, the sight hard for him to bear anymore.

He felt a palm wrap around his arm, then another before he was being dragged up. He didn't protest. If he did, the person wouldn't have had a 5% chance at pulling his hulk self up.

As silent as she could, Laila angrily dragged Sudais-or more like let him follow her until they were out of the room.

She released his arm as if it burnt her and gave him a disgusted head-to-toe look.

Body shaking, her breathing fast and short, she motioned at the door behind her, "See what abuse does to people, huh?"

For the first time, Sudais had nothing to say. He cast his head down in shame. An emotion he hardly felt.

Damn, shame was a bitch too.

She proceeded, getting in his face and whispering. "See why am i so uptight and why i am such a bitch or was it witch, you say?"

He stepped back, eyes pink and mirroring hers. His hands made movements but he didn't even know what they were implying.

He threw his head back, peering at the white ceilings with piercing lights as he felt people pass behind him along with emotions he had no idea he was capable of feeling.

Laila hummed, letting him realize what the hell he had done. "You have given that little girl a lifetime of trauma by hitting her for mistakes when she is a kid. She is supposed to make mistakes. It doesn't mean you go around beating the crap out of her."

He agreed to her words, nodding, then shook his head, his mind jumbled with a gazillion thoughts as the sweat in his hair fell to his face and he quickly wiped them.

He didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything.

In many years, he had had little to no events that had him speechless and distressed as much as this just did.

She shook her head in disappointment. It was her turn to say things back. "You are a horrible person. And she's going to hate you," She pointed at the door down the hallway of the private rooms, "So, do us both a favor," She took a deep breath, and in a more composed voice, told him to, "Get out," When he didn't, she added. "Daccu jiki am. (Leave my sight.)"

It took him more seconds to compose himself. He started to walk to the other closed end of the hallway, then turned to the opened route. He halted, coming back to Laila as he looked at the door she stood over with clenched fists and narrowed eyes. He sucked in a breath and left.

This time, he didn't turn around.

Back at her house after Laila had brought Mima to Baba Alhaji's house along with her siblings, she let out a loud breath as she threw her backpack on a table and stepped out of her shoes.

She started to undress on her journey to her room. Veil, mini hijab, head cap, off. She was at her hair band when she stepped into the chilly room, the only light illuminating the room was from the sides of the window behind the curtains. 

She was sure she had switched off the Ac. Who turned it back?

Stretching her arm, she clicked the dim lights on and the now lighted-up room gave way for her eyes to land on someone. On the bed, sitting at the edge with his face buried in his palms.

Laila sighed, deciding to let the little good part in her win as her hands rose slowly, and so did her voice as she stumbled with her words. "Look...i'm sorry i said all those things...okay? I say a lot of th-things you know? I like-see, really-i mostly don't...I don't mean them..."

Sudais, still in his Khaki, although now barefooted with his leg gun holster, watch and smugness gone, lifted pink, water-packed, widened eyes that he was trying not to blink to her face. Hands shaking, lips trembling and with a quiet voice, he asked. "What-what have i done?"

In an instance, Laila gasped as she felt her heartbeat accelerate. Eyes wide, she slowly walked to him, throwing her clothes to the floor, and shook her hands and head. "Biggi...No. No. No. No. No!" She let out a sob she didn't know was coming as she found herself on her knees, aligning her face to his before gently wrapping an arm around him. "You didn't-you didn't..." her voice broke and she sniffled. Feeling the hair on his chin rub side to side on her neck, hot liquid falling in two drops on her shoulders.

He did. He absolutely did.

"She-she hates me," he went on, closing his eyes before flashing them open and keeping his mouth agape to breathe, he couldn't breathe through his nose, "She-my God! What have...what did you do to your sister, Sudais?" He asked in third person as his chest vibrated with each word, his nose and mouth trying to breathe but miserably failing.

"No. No. You didn't-ok? You're fi-she's fine." Laila kept nodding as she tightened her hold around him, not knowing whether she was saying those words to him or to herself. It was to herself, mostly.

And at that moment, she saw a fragment of herself in him.

Defeatedly, he loud out a shrill, raucous sob and slowly brought his trembling hands to wrap them around Laila.

As if surprised, he jerked but Laila only tightened her hold. "It's okay. It's okay, Biggi."

Closing his eyes, his arms tightened around his wife.

***

Sips tea🙃