"Sadiya..." Warm palms set on Laila's body over the covers. She unconsciously hummed, internally cursed the person trying to cut short her sleep and dragged the cover over her neck further.

Sudais sighed, grabbing his legs to fold them underneath his thighs. He inched further with determination as he placed his palms on her and shook her. "Sadiya...wake up!"

Laila groaned, shifting side to side as she thrashed her legs in frustration. Her eyes slowly opened and she blinked several times before landing them on Sudais. The nightstand light casted a shadow over his face.

As if she didn't believe her eyes, she slowly pried her hand up to touch his face. It wasn't a dream, her fingers felt the low trim hair on his sideburns in confirmation and she dropped them. Yawning, she inquired. "Wha-t is it?"

He raised a stripped leather to her face and wiggled it, feeling accomplishment surge throughout his body. "I got you your apples."

Laila's heavy eyes widened at that, she reached a hand out to feel the content of the bag, and indeed, it was apples. In a whisper, she examined. "You-you got me apples?" motioning at the bed chamber door in astonishment, "B-but they weren't...it was empty. I-i was-I'm sure they were empty."

He shrugged, a wry smile pushing the sides of his lips as his husky-sleep-deprived voice melted into both their ears. "Yeah...I uh-i went out to get you some but all the stores were closed...So i went to the main family house because they always have this stuff and got it for you."

Laila's eyes frenetically alternated between him and the leather he had dropped to the bed when he actualized holding it up was making his arm ache. She jolted around in search of her phone and found it on the nightstand. Her eyes flushed close at the brightness but slowly opened to adjust to it.

She shoved the phone at his face, her eyes narrowed in confusion as she seeked for an answer. "It's 3:27 Am, Sudais. Why would you do that?"

The things men do for women. He shrugged, tilting his head to the side with his open palm holding it to stare at her as if she was the most interesting thing in the world. She was his most interesting thing in the world. "You want apples every night. So, you'll get apples every night."

Laila's head fell forward in deep thought but she was quick to push everything away along with her phone. She roughly pushed the leather of apples to the other side of the bed before draping her arm around Sudais' neck who was quick to jerk back at the suddenness of her action, suddenly too jolted to apprehend why she would get so close and resulting in his heart beating loud and fast, almost out of his chest. She hoisted her thigh-length silk nightie and fiercely planted her plump butt on his lap.

In utter jolt, Sudais' muscles tensed up as he pulled his head back and stuttered, "Wha-Sadiya? Why-what are you doing?"

Her head fell to his chest and she slowly ran the edge of her nose from the cotton vest up to his neck to linger there. She sharply inhaled, letting his paradisaical scent romance her nostrils before letting out a loud breath of satisfaction, and giggled. Her breath, hot and wet, voice low-in a whisper, she admitted. "I've always loved how you smelt, especially at night..." she took another loud sniff of him while grinding her flesh on his clothed lap. "You...you smell like the sea."

She felt him physically relax and his hand came up to grab her waist as he swiped his dilated eyes over her neck, heart leaping to his tongue. "Aleda vision...Sea breeze, that's the cologne."

She hummed, rubbing her nose against his neck.

"You?" He whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder to pull her back a bit. Just like she did, only much more intense, he almost died right then as he ran the edge of his nose from her neck down her chest, between her boobs to her navel, and then back up. "You always smell different at night too..." he paused to suck a breath through his teeth, almost in pleasurable spasm before he added, "wild. Insane..."

She nodded, guiding her waist to rub herself back and forth against him. "Victoria secret...you know what the incense is called?"

He shook his head, rubbing his nose side to side on her warm neck. God, he wanted to be there forever. Holding her, obsessively, possessively, madly. Forever. "No..."

"Bombshell seduction."

He pulled back, resting sensual half-closed eyes on her equal ones. Their chests heaved in lack of breath and the continuous friction between their midriffs.

Recklessly, her cold fingers grabbed the sides of his face and tilted it up to meet him halfway as she tilted her head to the side. With slight hesitation, she tuned out the voices in her head, blinked between his pink eyes to his lips more than a handful of times before deciding to regret this tomorrow. He had been wanting this, anyway. And if she was being honest, she wanted it too.

Without further ado, Laila crashed her lips down on his and gave him a long press before pulling back. Her eyes flutter open to find Sudais staring at her in hesitation. He jutted his chin, seeking a warrant and she gave him one by nodding.

Well, say no more, it was a dream come true for him. And maybe her.

Laila gasped at the intensity at which his lips pressed to hers and grabbed the back of his head while his hands found a rhythm on her silk, lace-clothed back.

Afraid he'd pull back and find out it was one of his now regular stupid wank dreams of Laila, his hands shot up to the back of her head covered in box braids. She was there and he wasn't dreaming, although his dream was coming true.

Toh yayi.

He let out a groan in satisfaction and rose from his butt. He caught Laila's fleshy thighs that were about to fall off from him and wrapped them around his waist before frantically roaming his hands around her back to find the clip button of her nightie.

Laila gripped the back of his head harder to pause with the who-sucks-who's-tongue-better competition and Sudais let out a groan when she pulled back and went as far as placing her palm to his chest to pause him too.

Breath heavy and hard, she wheezed. "This..." she pointed between his vest and her roughed-up nightie, their chests, "This changes nothing. You don't have any of me."

"I want to have you. All of you." And he meant it. Ish-

She shook her head, her breath not slowing down. "No. You-you're still a hypocrite and i uh-I'm still me and i still hate you."

He heard nothing but still nodded while dropping his heat-producing upper body unto hers but she fastened more strength on his chest.

He looked at her serious expression then sighed and repeated. "It changes nothing," He popped the syllables in the word NOTHING. "I still hate you." But i still want you. It was too confusing, he couldn't bring himself to add.

"Condom?"

He pulled back, sighing and shaking his head. "You're my wife, Sadiya. I'm not going to use a condom. I don't even own one."

She stared at his slit brow for long seconds before breathing and barely nodding. Emergency pills to the rescue then.

"That's what i thought too." He crashed himself on her and only when he was a few inches from her face did he catch himself by placing his palms beside her head, unawarely letting the words at the tip of his words stumble out. "And also...i think you're a smart-stupidly hot-selfish witch with insane issues. But...hot, still."

Laila stupidly nodded, her legs coming up to wrap around his waist to pull him into her. They should do this before she changes her mind. She then shook her head, "No strings attached."

He let out a genuine laugh before lifting one of his palms to wave. "We're married, Boddo..." but he wouldn't let this opportunity slide, "But yes, no strings attached."

***

Sudais' body rolled over to Laila's side as he made noises from the back of his throat. The man stretched his arms out and slowly opened his eyes. At the sight in front of him, he blinked slowly and repeatedly in confusion.

"Good morning." For a nonmorning person, Laila broke her record as she managed to dimple up to him, her eyes traveling from his chest to his face, warmth spreading over her torso and she tiredly pushed the incessant urge to touch him, smell him, pull him closer and hopefully closer to her heart.

Recognition hit him and he slumped back on the bed, pulling the covers up to his diaphragm. "Hey."

That was it.

Hey????

Laila's smile fell as she blinked, then nodded to her stupid self that had created an image of fondness in her head and rose her head from her palm atop the pillow. "Understood. You got what you wanted and now you regret it. I'll be on my way." That was probably the longest sentence she had ever spoken in the morning in history. She rose her upper body and outrageously dragged the covers to her chest with her. She looked at the sheets and him before scoffing.

"Sorry, not sorry." She dragged the cover off him and attempted to get off the bed. Key word: attempted. She fell back, wincing loudly as her hand flew to her abdomen.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Laila's eyes crashed close as she shook her head. "I'm not, my lower limbs are sore!"

Despite the urge to smile, he pushed it away. "Sorry." He wasn't.

She ignored his plea and repeated, bracing herself to get off the bed. "Obviously you'll be sorry. You made me sore and now you regret even doing that."

What did she want him to be? Unapologetic?

He lunged at her, grabbing her upper body and that had her wince and spread her arms to slow him down. "I told you i am-"

"Are you insane? Regret? Me? Come back here." He pulled her with enough force to have her face him again. His hand shot up and he placed a hand behind her head to pull her face up to his.

He placed a kiss on her lips and didn't get a reaction or response. Ok then. He sighed, grabbing the covers to cover his body and hers before putting some distance between them.

"I uh-it's nice that your voice was the first thing i heard to-"

She pulled back, scrunching her nose up and failing miserably in censoring her thoughts. "Your breath stinks."

He pursed his lips, shaking and tilting his head to the side. "I'm human and it's another Friday. Yours doesn't?"

They shared a long stare until Laila reminded herself she wasn't jobless and had school to attend. She made a move to stand with the covers but he held unto it-held unto her in his perspective. She shrugged, good thing she had grown to accept and be confident in her body over the years. She left the covers for him and jumped off the bed to meet her nightie, threw it on, and made sure to bang the bathroom door after her.

She took a quick shower-like always and stepped out. Instantaneously, a voice swarm into her ears, soring and irritating her drums further. "Sadiya, listen to me. I need you—"

She didn't want to hear it, she rose a palm, dropping her head as she closed her eyes. "Stop it, Sudais. I really don't want to hear it. Erase everything. This," she motioned between them, "Never happened."

He let out a sigh, nodding in defeat and understanding. He only needed a minute. A minute she wasn't ready to spare.

At the silence that wafted the room, she figured he got the memo. She slightly shivered in the chilly room as she crossed over to the vanity and sat on a chair. Sudais used that as an opportunity to click the pause button on the AC's remote as he stood and pulled his boxers to his waist.

"Will you at least let me drop you off at the clinic?"

Laila left his question unanswered as she seemed to nonchalantly rubbed the cream between her fingers and bent to rub the substance on her legs, when all she wanted to do was run. Run, and hopefully run into her death.

He set his lips into a straight line and threw his head back in frustration as he took a deep breath. They couldn't go back to this, please. He disappeared into the bathroom. Did his business, took a shower, and came out to an empty bedroom.

Still clad in his towel, he twisted his neck around as he searched for her. For one, the room was coated with her fragrance-meaning she had already dressed up.

For a Tidsoptimist, she sure had a way of getting things done on time when she wanted to, but always chooses to be late.

He gave up the search to find her when he found her study table empty of her backpack.

Defeatedly, he threw on casuals and proceeded for the day. Which was really as unenthusiastic as it sounded. It consisted of him finding out Laila had left with the driver a few minutes before he was out, went to work to find his attention wasn't needed, then he spent most of the time between 2 pm to 5pm after Jumu'ah prayer at the clinic hoping he'd catch a sight of the woman, but didn't.

Instead, he drove home and slumped on the couch to reflect on what had happened.

1 of 2 things happens after sex. Sudais didn't know if it applied to everyone or if it was only him. 1, you want to stay for eternity. 2, you want to run for the hills. There was no in between, there never had been.

So, why the hell was he having a hard time making his conclusion? And why the hell was he leaning unto the 'want to stay for eternity' side when he knew he wanted to do this to lose interest in the chaos magnetic woman?

With others, it was clear. Wank and go. No going back. Simple and easy. Sometimes, he'd cum and his next thoughts would be, 'what the hell did you just do, Sudais? Are you insane?' He'd feel the need to slap himself and the girl.

And then boom, he'd ghost.

He formed no attachment with any girl, except Simi-who despite everything, he still didn't want to spend eternity with, dipping her bread in tea excluded. But, he wanted to spend the rest of his time with her before he found someone to be stuck with for the rest of his life.

In the case, Laila.

He'd be lying if he said Simi had crossed his mind more than a midget amount of time since...well, he moved to abuja. Which says a lot.

Humans, very selfish beings.

Despite not having the intention of marrying her-which he made clear and she agreed on that part, he enjoyed her company. Respected the woman. Strong, ambitious woman. But, just never wife material in his eyes. Or maybe it was his hypocritical pride getting in the way.

Recalling, he had once stumble upon a random video of a woman explaining that men, were habitually polygamous, while women, habitually monogamous. In details, she had went on about how a woman produces an egg every month, in which a single sperm fertilizes, which them makes them habitually monogamous. She had also mentioned that women, need longer and sustained stimulation of the g-spot, clitoris or the nipples for an orgasm to whip through them, while men...well, men take mere minutes-sometimes seconds- to orgasm. As a byproduct, these creatures shoot less than an ounce of liquid that has been scientifically proven to have at least hundreds of millions of sperm, which makes men, habitually polygamous.

The woman had went on to explain how women were designed to get attached after sex, not men. Sudais couldn't agree more, he was a living example of that.

What irked him the most was the number of emotions crashing back and forth inside him. As if he was a stupid woman.

No.

You do not lose guard, Sudais.

He was in absolute denial despite knowing and listing down his facts.

His first fact was that he liked Laila. Wanting to strangle and hold her pretty sexy little neck under water until the bubbles disappear 90% of the time, aside.

His second fact; he had climaxed and fell on the other side of the bed in satisfaction with the intention of waking up the next day completely detached from her and he didn't. The woman had only managed to grab him by the balls more, metaphorically speaking.

His third fact; his unquenchable desire to control her, feel her, touch her, bury himself in her-emotionally and physically, slip into her bones and conceivably- her heart had not simmered down as he expected, instead he bubbled with anger at the thought of her not doing things the right way. Which she definitely would, by the way.

All were pointing to one thing; the sweet stench of failure. His plan had failed. He didn't quench his desire for her, hot-as-hell-body aside, now, her mind, her soul, her, completely, he wanted. Completely and monogamy-ly.

It wasn't sex. Now that he had checked that off the list, he didn't just want sex from her, his vision had cleared up and he didn't like where it was heading.

Sudais let out a groan and face palmed. His fingers dragged down his face to his chin which he then gripped tightly as he bounced his feet, his emotions all over the place and quite frankly on his face too.

He lifted his eyes to the wall clock but realized the sun had no help illuminating the lounge as it had fallen and he hadn't switched on the lights. Too lazy to stand up, he brought out his phone to keep himself busy, at least until he heard rattles coming from the door. He didn't bother standing or opening the door because he knew who he'd see. Instead, he clicked off his phone and tossed it to the other side of the sofa.

***

10th, friday may 2019.

"Laila!"

Laila let out a gasp, a hand flying to her raging chest and wide eyes to the owner of the voice. With the same intensity, she called out loud and sharp. "Naimat!"

Naimat's skeptical eyes dropped down Laila's figure, then hiked back up. "I'm a medical student, and that look...that look means you're not reading and you're completely zoned out. What is wrong with you?"

Laila stared at the girl while chewing her fingers, a habit she had recently developed and didn't like. Her long beautiful nails we're starting to become not so long and beautiful.

That aside, what was wrong with her?

What was wrong with her was for the first time, she had felt somewhat of a deep, abysmal connection, attachment, warmth towards Sudais. And like every guy who got his infatuation off his chest, he had acted cold and callous toward her. Recalling they were married, divorce was definitely out of the question with both their parents breathing down their necks, he quickly covered his act up by saying he didn't regret it.

Laila's reasonable side had warned her. Do not, do not give in, Laila. She took after Maya's advice, go ahead and see where it goes. News flash Maya, it was going to be the beginning of her miserable days.

Dirty, cheap, dirty, cheap, dirty, cheap. That was how she felt. Even after taking a shower, it felt like he was still all over her. Touching her and her just letting him. Over and over again until they both were at their climax and fell heavily atop each other. Next morning, he sounded disgusted by her and himself.

Disrespect, that was the word for it. He had disrespected her to the end of the world and had managed to stain himself into her thoughts, Permanently.

"OKAY! CAN YOU LISTEN AND LOOK AT ME!"

Laila froze again, her vision clearing to land on her course mate.

With a fake laugh and a dismissive hand wave, Laila shook her head. "Sorry. I'm just distracted."

Naimat shook her head, dropping the pen unto the table, "You're not distracted, Laila. You need rest. I saw you limping. You came back yesterday right?"

Laila nodded.

"Haaba!" Naimat dragged, her yoruba accent making the slang funny. "You should've taken the day off. Look at your eye bags." Oh that, Laila was hurrying to get out of the house before Sudais made it out of the bathroom that she forgot to apply her usual makeup. "I think you should get some rest after break, we mostly have nothing to do. And if there is, I'll fill in for you."

Laila's eyes lighted up and she pouted, slanting her head to the side. "Can i kiss you?"

Naimat let out a loud laugh, uncrossing her legs. "No...you bi-sexual sexy piece of shit. Get out!"

Laila wiggled her brows, "So you think I'm sexy? Now, who is bi?"

"I'm straight, not blind. Nurain was a prick to let you go, wallahi."

Laila's mood immediately soured. Then, it lightened up. That was her answer. Nurain. He was who she needed. Abruptly, Laila pushed the library seat to stand, and picked her phone and backpack up.

Naimat's confusion showcased in her widened eyes and opened palms, "Where are you going?"

Laila shrugged, slanting her backpack unto her shoulder. "Taking your advice and getting some rest."

"It's not break time yet."

Laila's phone lighted up in Naimat's face. "Only 6 minutes until 1. I'll see you tomorrow."

Naimat slouched into the seat. "See you."

Now that Laila thought of it, she was stressing for no reason. Why stress over stupid Sudais who didn't want her anymore? When she could get showered attention and feed her egocentric self with it from someone else?

Back at the hospital and after 4 flights of stairs she took instead of the elevator, Laila lifted a hand to knock on the door hoping he hadn't left for Jumu'ah Prayer just when a puff of air hit her face as the door flew open.

Was he expecting her?

Laila's stare traveled to her foot at his hard frown, suddenly, she felt small and could feel herself starting to regret coming. Maybe it was a bad idea?

Nurain's frown morphed into a smile at the sight of the woman in a jumpsuit. His eyes narrowed as he slanted over her to survey the almost empty hallways. He was satisfied, so he pulled her into the tangerine scented office before pushing the door close.

"Hi baby, i was just about to ask one of your colleagues why you weren't back."

Laila's lips pursed as she brought a nonchalant arm up, "You could've just cal-oh..." she halted, slowly dropping her arms and he nodded.

She had blocked every number of his and blocked him on every social media. He had given up calling her with new numbers, they all faced the same fate.

That was not going to sour him up about the fact that she came to see him. He was on clouds and could see progress, the progress he had been yearning for. "How was eid?" He asked, sitting on one of the seats in front of his desk.

Laila shrugged, dropping her backpack on his table, and sat cross-legged on the chair opposite him. "Boring."

He hummed, his eyes following her legs back to her face, "Same. Was sucked into work the minute i came back from Eid prayer."

Eyes dilated, the duo shared long, eye contact while mimicking each other's body language. Nurain crossed his palms over his crotch as he slouched into the chair. He could see through her. She wasn't here to make amends, she was there to torture him and leave like always. Sighing, he rose a palm. "Why are you here, Laila?"

Laila let his question linger in the air before she reached for him, dropping a palm on his lap. "I'm losing my mind."

Instantly, he rose, "What? What's wrong?" A hand of his landed on her hand while the other reached for her shoulder. Surprisingly, she did nothing in jerking back like always, instead, she glanced at her shoulder held by him.

"I don't know." The lie slipped past her easily. "Can you do something for me?"

He'd never hesitate, so he squeezed her shoulder. "Anything babe."

Laila managed a small smile before adding what had his smile dropping. "Treat me like shit or-or even hit me, so i can feel better...normal."

As if her body was Lava, his palms left the confines of her as he pushed the seat back and stood. "Wha-what? How can you ask me that? I can't! I won't."

Hitting part aside, "You did it before, why can't you do it now?" Laila snapped, tightly crossing her arms as her facial dissolved into a hostile one.

His arms flew every which way. "Be-because...I can't."

"You can."

"I can't!"

"You want my forgiveness or not?"

He halted, surveying her before he walked back to drag his seat until he was a few inches from her and sitting with his stance wide. He clasped his palms, "Look...i want your forgiveness. In short, all i want is your forgiveness. But this...why do i need to manhandle you before you forgive me?"

Laila's hostile act didn't falter, "Do you or do you not want me?"

He rose a brow as if to ask seriously? "I do. Believe me...wallahi i do."

She raised a daring brow. "Then what's the problem?"

He dropped his head, staring at their feet. Both in crocs.

Laila was determined.

Rather Nurain who had known and loved her for 9 years to make her feel like crap-at least he had her on cloud 9 on so many inestimable occasions- than Sudais who had managed to make her feel wanted, only to get what he wanted and dump her like the trash she knew she was. Rather cover up his scent, his touch, his words, his worthless self all in all by someone else. Rather someone who'll manhandle her this second, and still look at her like she was a goddess the next.

Pushing her seat back, Laila's knees connected to the floor beneath him. She placed firm palms on his shoulder, "I miss you, Nura. I need you. I'm hurting and i came to you, and you just want to push me away?"

That did the trick, red face rose to align with Laila's and firm hands grabbed her arms. "I love you, Laila. You know i do. But this...I don't want to hurt you."

Laila's breath quickened and became heavier, her frustrated hands dropped from his shoulder to his lap. "Of course, you won't." She attempted to move but his hands kept her in place. She placed a palm on her forehead and let out a mirthless chuckle, "How stupid of me to think you care!"

He shook his head at her words, squeezing her upper arms. "No Laila, i care about you. Which is why i should take you home."

Laila's nose crinkled as she flinched back. "No. Take me to your house."

"Home."

"Your house, Nurain." She stabbed a finger into his chest, "Your house." He wasn't going to give in and thanks to Daddy, she was good at manipulation. She was her father's daughter after all. "You know why you want to take me home?" She didn't let him answer as she punched his chest, "Because you're a liar. You act like you care about me but you don't. I came to you thinking you will help me. I'm losing my mind and you," She continuously stabbed his chest and sniffled, a tear falling and her lips trembling, "You were the first person that came to my mind. I thought of starting drugs but wait, Nurain would help. But no. You won't! I'm already always high on painkillers so why not molly? Or coke? Or ecstasy? It'll make me feel better. Quite frankly, i hope i overdose. I HOPE I DIE AND PUT EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR MISERY!"

Laila's vision went blank with stars twinkling for a second as her head snapped to the side, courtesy of the brain resetting slap that cuddled her cheek.

Despite the tears, Laila's lips twitched with a lopsided grin. Spontaneously, she felt warm fingers hook across her neck in a grip and she was stumbling into him to meet furious eyes that once bewitched her. To be honest, they were still bewitching at that moment.

"DON'T EVER IN YOUR LIFE SAY THAT. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

Frantically, she nodded out of breath from how hard his fingers were squeezing her airway.

His voice softened, but not his grip. "Are you sure?"

When he noticed her struggle, his fingers lifted from her airway.

In between gasps, she welcomed. "It's either this or drugs. I think we both know which is better."

A shaky breath shook him as he altered his stare between her pink sensual eyes and her full lips. He was sure his eyes mirrored hers. He was burning, she was burning.

God damn, every one was right. There were too toxic for each other.

Releasing her throat, he roughly pulled her up, "Let's go."

I told Laila zon't...zon't zo it 🤷‍♀️