“Ethan, are you up?” My dad pushed my bedroom door open and peeked in. He frowned deeply. “Kid, did you sleep at all last night?”

                Kid. I hated it when he called me that. It was his own special way of disowning me in speech.

                I set down the book I was reading and looked up at him. “Man, no I didn’t.”

                “What’s wrong? You’re usually sarcastic. That’s totally normal for you. But right now, you’re being viciously sarcastic,” he said. “Did something happen?”

                “Oh no, my life is just dandy daddy,” I said.

                I hadn’t slept since Will had left me out in the rain on the side of the road. I was exhausted, constantly verging on panic attacks, and rapidly losing control of my composure.

                “Look, this whole situation with Will is really hurting you Ethan. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, stepping into my room.

                “There’s nothing to talk about. He broke up with me for understandable reasons, and that’s that. Relationships end,” I said with a shrug, not wanting to tell my dad just how much my world had crumbled down when Will drove away from me that night.

                “You haven’t eaten in almost two days,” he said.

                “It’s a new diet I’m trying out,” I said.

                “What, anorexia? Ethan, you’re too skinny as it is. You need to eat and sleep. And you need to come out of your bedroom. It was fine when Benji was over. But he left, and you still haven’t come out of your room,” he said.

                “Maybe I just like it in my room,” I said.

                “Please, come out of your room. We’ll go out and get lunch somewhere. It’s a weekend, and you shouldn’t be holed up in your room,” he said.

                “Did mom put you up to this?” I asked suspiciously.

                “Put me up to what?” he asked in surprise.

                “To acting like you care,” I said. My mind was begging me to stop, but a wave of exhaustion and depression drowned my rational thoughts.

                “Ethan, what on earth are you talking about?” he asked.

                “I’ve overheard you and mom before. You’re ashamed of me and you can’t deny it. I’m just your gay, scrawny, outcast of a son, and you can’t stand it. You hate that you can’t stand it, but that makes it so much worse. Because you don’t want to be ashamed of me. You try not to be. But you’re so ashamed and disappointed in me that you can’t even convince yourself that you’re not,” I said coldly.

                He stared at me in shock. I could tell that I was right though. I could see how much it killed him to hear the truth.

                “Ethan,” he said weakly. “That’s not true. I love you.”

                “The people we love the most are the ones that disappoint us the most,” I said, dropping my gaze. “We have high hopes for them, and when they fail, it hits us hard.”

                A moody boy with tangled hair flashed through my mind, and I pushed the image away.

                He opened his mouth to speak, but his phone exploded into life at that moment. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed.

                “This is my boss. But when I get off the phone, we are going to talk about this,” he said and left my room, shutting the door as he went.

                I didn’t want to talk about it though. He would just try to claim that he wasn’t ashamed of me, and I didn’t want to hear it. I was sick of people lying to me. I was so sick of it.

                “What’s happening to me?” I groaned, banging my head against the wall and hugging my knees to my chest. I was breaking, and I was breaking fast.

                I squeezed my eyes shut as they started to burn with tears. I wiped at that viciously, determined not to cry. Determined not to give in to the pain in my chest.

                I grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked it, hard. Anything to pull myself back to reality. I had to get a grip already.

                But pulling my hair didn’t help. I attempted to dig my nails into my arm, but that didn’t help either. I felt like I was slipping. Like I was tumbling down into a deep darkness.

                I dragged myself over to my bed and reached underneath it, sliding out the box with my razor in it. My hands trembled violently as I opened the box. My eyes rested on the razor and my heart rate jumped up rapidly.

                My hands trembled even harder and I clenched them into fists as my breath hitched. Not right now. Please not right now.

                But a panic attack pumped its way through my body with a terrifying force. I fell to the ground, gasping for breath and curling up on myself.

                I felt dizzy, and like I was really slipping away. My body was hot and cold and covered in sweat and I think I was going crazy.

                My door creaked open and I heard a gasp. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing that I was going out of my mind now. There was just no way.

                “Ethan!” Will shut my door and hurried over to me.

                “This isn’t happening,” I whispered shakily.

                “Sh, it’s okay,” Will said, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly.

                “You’re not really here. You can’t be,” I choked out, my eyes watering.

                “I’m here. I’m real,” he said, stroking my hair.

                “Will,” I whispered and buried my face against his chest. My body was rocking with tremors, my breathing was limited to desperate gasps, my body temperature was wildly bipolar, I was sweating, and the world was spinning dangerously. But I felt like I had a grip on my sanity again.

                He locked his fingers together with mine, holding my shaking hand with a strong grip. I miserably gripped his shoulder with my free hand as my panic attack continued.

                After god only knew how long, it slowly came to an end. I opened my eyes and looked up at Will’s concerned face.

                “That was an exciting way for us to be reunited,” I said.

                “I came here to talk to you. Your mom let me in and said you were in your room. I didn’t expect to find you dying,” he said with a bitter laugh.

                “Technically I wasn’t dying. We just both thought I was,” I said.

                He shifted me so that I was balancing in his lap and reached over, drawing the box over and glaring at me. “What is this?” he demanded, flashing the razor at me.

                “I use it to cut wrapping paper?” I tried.

                “I don’t want gifts wrapped in the skin from your legs,” he growled.

                “Then you do not want the right things,” I said. I rolled out of his lap and leaned against the wall, watching him carefully.

                He set the box down and leaned over, pinning me against the wall. I raised an eyebrow at him.

                “You don’t have to restrain me. I’m willing to do dirty things with you,” I said.

                He ignored my sarcasm and shoved my pants legs up to my knees. He inspected my legs carefully and visibly relaxed when he didn’t see any new cuts.

                He looked up at me with agony in his eyes and held up the razor. “Do you know what I would have done if you had hurt yourself? Do you have any idea what that would’ve done to me?”

                He took a deep breath, forcing the agony behind the protective wall in his eyes. “You don’t need this, Ethan. I’m taking it and getting rid of it. Is this the only razor in your room?”

                “Why do you care, Will? You’re the one who left me out on the side of the road to catch pneumonia,” I said.

                He winced. “I panicked. That’s what I came here to talk to you about.”

                “Did you come here to talk, or to sing songs of forgiveness to me? You can start with Stay by Hurts and finish with something by Taylor Swift,” I said.

                “I panicked when I thought everyone knew. But Ethan, I’m not afraid anymore. I never should have been afraid. I hurt you, and I’ve been beating myself up over that. I’ve been scared to come apologize to you. But you deserve to hear it. I’m so sorry about what I did. I get it if you can never forgive me. But I want you to know that I am so, so sorry I hurt you. Sorry I left you out in the rain like that. Sorry I’m such an idiot. Sorry I’m such an ass to you. I’m sorry,” he said. And I could tell by the look on his face that he meant that with his whole heart.

                “You thought I wasn’t going to forgive you,” I said.

                “I wouldn’t blame you,” he said, dropping his gaze. “I left you out in the rain after yelling at you over something that wasn’t your fault.”

                “Well, lucky for you, I’m a forgiving person,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “And I’ve been waiting for you to come here.”

                He hugged me back tightly. “Ethan? I love you,” he whispered.

                My heart stuttered and I smiled at how cheesy I was. “I love you too, Will.”

                He kissed me, gentle and loving. We broke away from each other and I smiled at him, resting my head on his shoulder.

                He forced me to sit up and looked into my eyes. He held up the razor again. “But you have to promise me that you’re never going to hurt yourself again.”

                “I can’t make that promise,” I said. “I’m a very clumsy person, and I’ve made a habit of tripping down the stairs.”

                “You know what I mean,” he said seriously. “Promise me right now that you will never intentionally hurt yourself again, Ethan.”

                I nodded, looking at the razor. “I promise.”

                Will kicked the now empty box back under my bed. He wrapped the razor in several tissues and put it in his pocket. “Good.”

                He sat down next to me and put his arm around my waist. “I used to think that your strength was part of your façade. But it’s not. Ethan, you are the strongest person I know,” he said quietly.

                “I finally figured you out, Will. There was something about you that kept nagging at me, but I know what it is now. You were scared to get close to someone. You were always looking for an excuse to pull away from people. From me,” I said.

                “Everyone I’ve ever gotten close to has hurt me,” he mumbled. “But not you. Even when I was the one hurting you, you stayed by my side.” He cracked a small grin. “A scrawny little thing like you doesn’t scare me.”

                I returned the grin. “Good. Then you have nothing to worry about.”

                He bent down and kissed me. “Come with me. I have a surprise for you,” he said, getting up and pulling me with him.

                I curiously followed him out of the house, thankfully without seeing either of my parents. I got in his car and he backed out of the driveway.

                “Where are we going?” I asked in confusion.

                “Just trust me,” he said.

                I reached over, taking his hand in mine. “Of course.”

                We rode together in comfortable silence. Will pulled into the parking lot of a small playground. I stared at him.

                “What are we doing here?” I asked.

                He got out o the car without answering me. After rolling my eyes, I copied him. I looked around the quiet playground. There was a softball game going on a little ways away, but other than that, there were no people in the area.

                Will pulled out his iPod and speakers from the trunk of the car and set the speakers on the hood of the car. He hooked his iPod up and I swear the cliché severity of the situation choked me up as He Is We started playing out of the speakers.

                “Swinging in the rain humming melodies. We’re not going anywhere until we freeze. I’m not afraid anymore, I’m not afraid. Forever is a long time but I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side. Carefully we’ll place our destiny. You came and you took this heart, and set it free,” the music sang.

                “This is your dream date, isn’t it? You and the person you love acting like little kids while He Is We play. I remember you telling me that once,” he said, taking my hand in his.

                He pulled me over to the playground and released my hand. He grabbed a handle on the monkey bars and flipped himself so that he was swinging from it upside down. He scowled at me and motioned me over.

                “Well? Come on. I’m 20 years old and I’m playing on monkey bars for you. Don’t make me feel stupid,” he said.

                I ran over and joined him. We flipped around on the monkey bars for a little before racing each other up the slides. I found myself laughing and smiling. Even Will couldn’t help but shoot me honest smiles as we chased each other around, playing lava.

                “Play him a song that reminds him of a time when he wasn’t tumbling down, down, tumbling down. Radio, bleed me a melody that will make this boy cry. Oh, radio, bleed me a melody that will make him wonder why he was so cold,” the music sang.

                Will pulled me close, trying to catch his breath from running around. “I love you, Ethan. I’m so sorry I ever hurt you,” he said.

                “You said I was lost in my own façade. And I think you were right, Will. I used to be such a hateful person. I was jealous of everyone who was happy and I hated every single person for it. But I didn’t like that, so I started convincing myself that someday I’d be happy too. And I fell for my own lie. But you know what? It wasn’t a lie. Because I’m not faking right now. I’m really happy Will,” I said, smiling up at him.

                But I frowned at my words. “Dammit, you’ve turned me into some gushy gay boy.”

                “I’m feeling the same effect,” he said, laughing.

                He pulled me over to the swings, keeping a hold on my hand as we sat down and kicked off from the ground. I moved my legs, swinging higher and higher with Will.

                “This is a good way to pull our arms right out of the sockets,” I said.

                “But it would be worth it,” he said.

                “When did you turn all romantic? I miss when you used to act like even looking at me caused you physical pain,” I said.

                He grinned at me. “It wouldn’t be hard to convert back to that behavior.”

                “Jerk.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

                We played on the playground for hours, just having a good time as He Is We played out of Will’s speakers. All my troubles seemed to disappear.

                But the sun had to set, and soon it was dark. Will led me back to the car, tossing his iPod and speakers into the backseat as he pulled out of the parking lot.

                “That was really nice Will,” I said.

                “Don’t think I’m going soft. You still annoy me,” he said.

                “I can deal with that,” I said, smiling.

                He pulled into my driveway, putting the car in park. He leaned over and kissed me, a small smile on his face. His eyes were a brilliant green color.

                “Come stay the night,” I said.

                “Are you sure?” he asked.

                “If you can deal with me for the night,” I said and got out of the car.

                Will followed me inside. My dad looked up at me from the living room and I mentally sighed.

                “Go in my room. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said to Will.

                Will nodded in understanding and disappeared down the hallway and into my bedroom. I walked over to my dad.

                “So you and Will are back together?” he asked.

                I nodded at him. “Yea, we are.”

                “That’s good,” he said. He bit his lip and stood up, eyeing me. “I love you Ethan. You know that.”

                “I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” I said.

                “No, you’re not sorry, and you shouldn’t be. I’ve been a terrible father to you. I know how much agony you were in until Benji Bryant came along, but I just ignored it. I’m so sorry,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I’ve been so selfish.”

                I hugged him back. I tried to pull away and squirmed uncomfortably when he wouldn’t let me go.

                “Dad, hugs are great and everything, but you’re breaking my spine,” I said.

                He released me and wiped at his eyes in embarrassment. “You make me proud, Ethan. You really do. You’re such a strong boy. I’ve just been too damn stupid to see that,” he said.

                “You sound dangerously close to my boyfriend right now, and I am 723% not okay with that,” I said. “I don’t want to feel like I’m dating my own dad.”

                “You are so sarcastic,” he said with a sigh.

                I grinned at him. “Love you, old man.”

                “Love you, brat,” he said and ruffled my hair.

                I turned and went into my bedroom. I sat next to Will on my bed and rubbed at my eyes. I was exhausted.

                “You look tired. We have some things to talk about tomorrow concerning Jude and Nate, but for now, you need to sleep,” he said.

                I tugged him down so that we were lying together on my bed. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

                “I’m glad you came to your senses,” I said and yawned.

                “Yea, yea, yea,” he said.

                “Next you have to brush your hair,” I said, glancing at the tangled mess sitting on top of his head.

                “Maybe. Now shut up and go to sleep. I’m tired too,” he said.

                I smiled, a real smile. “Goodnight Will.”

                He kissed my cheek. “Goodnight Ethan.”

                And I slipped off into the first peaceful sleep I’d had in a long time.

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A.N.- Not the last chapter! Also I'm super proud of myself because I managed to finish this chapter 15 before the new episode of Arrow! Because I can promise you that I'll be an emotional wreck after the new episode. Those of you who follow my Tumblr know that I'm kind of obssessed, and that's why I slowed down writing XD

Anyways! I asked this on my message board, but I'm going to ask it here, too. If you plan on reading my future stories...would you prefer it in the high school setting, or a college setting?

Thank you! Also, I want to know what you guys thought of this chapter. Because Will and Ethan are back together now c: