“Will,” I said.

                “What?” he asked.

                “I’m hungry.”

                “That’s not my problem.”

                I pouted up at him. “If you don’t feed me, I’m going to pinch your leg,” I threatened.

                “I grew up with Sonnet. Do you honestly think I haven’t built a resistance to pinching?” he said without even bothering a glance at me.

                I shrugged. “Suit yourself,” I said and proceeded to pinch his leg as hard as I could.

                “Stop that,” he snarled, wincing and ripping my hand away from his leg.

                “Food,” I commanded.

                “You’re like an obnoxious toddler,” he said, scowling at me.

                “Whatever it takes to get food,” I said.

                “No food for you. I hope you suffer,” he said, turning his attention back to the script in his hand.

                We were on his bed. Will was leaning against the backboard. My head was resting in his lap, and before I had pinched him, he had been running his hand through my hair.

                He resumed that motion, absentmindedly brushing his fingers through my hair repeatedly. I found comfort in it, but my loudly growling stomach begged for me to quiet it.

                My stomach let out another bloodcurdling shriek. Will sighed in annoyance, lowering the script he had been proofreading.

                “Fine. If it will shut you and your stomach up, then let’s go get food,” he said.

                “Finally!” I said, jumping up. Will stood up and followed me out of his bedroom.

                We went upstairs to the kitchen, where my stomach started screaming again at the scent of food. My mouth watered and Will rolled his eyes.

                “I can’t stand you,” he said, shaking his head.

                “As long as I have food, I don’t care,” I said.

                Grace noticed us standing there. “Take a seat, boys. Actually, Ethan, you take a seat. William, you go get your sister and tell her that dinner is ready,” she said.

                Will sulked off in the direction of Sonnet’s bedroom. Grace came over to me, concern emerging in her eyes.

                “Ethan, you’ve been spending a lot of time with Will. Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him? My husband and I want to help him, but he won’t let us,” she said.

                “I think he’s struggling, and you guys are putting more pressure on him,” I said. I wasn’t going to bother bullshitting her. She wanted to help her son, so she had to face the truth. “I think you need to back off of him. He’s beating himself up over whatever’s wrong, and you guys aren’t helping.”

                Her face paled a little but she nodded. “But…do you know what’s wrong?”

                “Nope. But I’m working on figuring that out,” I assured her.

                “Okay. Thank you Ethan,” she said, looking honestly grateful. “He’s shut almost everyone out lately. He’s scaring me.” She smiled sadly. “Will’s always been a closed off person, but it’s gotten worse lately. Do you know, he has the most beautiful smile. I just want to see him happy and smiling again.”

                “Working on it,” I said.

                She nodded and fell silent as we heard the sounds of bickering coming closer to us. Sure enough, Will and Sonnet appeared a few seconds later. Will had his ever present scowl on his face, and Sonnet was glaring at her big brother.

                “Mom, teach your son how to knock,” Sonnet said.

                “Shut up brat,” Will said and flicked Sonnet’s forehead.

                “Stop arguing!” Grace said, placing her hands on her hips and fixing them with a look.

                “Don’t touch me. And don’t come barging into my room!” Sonnet said, ignoring her mom.

                “I’ll do what I want. Respect your elders,” Will said, also ignoring his mother.

                Grace rubbed her temples. “Go sit.”

                I grabbed Will’s arm, dragging him away from his little sister and over to the table. We sat down together and Sonnet joined us a moment later.

                Grace and Leo came out, setting food down. They sat down and we all piled food onto our plates and began to eat.

                “Were you boys napping again?”Grace asked us.

                “No. I was correcting a script and Ethan was daydreaming,” Will said.

                “I was not daydreaming,” I said.

                “Then what were you doing?” he asked me.

                “I was thinking intellectually,” I said.

                “Sure you were,” he said, patting my head.

                “Are those Will’s clothes?” Leo asked, looking at me.

                “Yea. He slept over last night and I let him borrow my clothes to go to school in,” Will said.

                “I’m surprised he fits in your clothes. You’re taller than him,” Sonnet said.

                “Yea, he is awkwardly short,” Will said. “I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone shorter than Benji.”

                “My height is perfectly normal!” I argued.

                “Yea, for a fourth grader,” Sonnet said.

                “Sonnet! William!” Leo said, rolling his eyes. “Leave Ethan alone.”

                Will and Sonnet shot me a look, both snickered, and went back to eating. I pouted, but also continued eating, knowing I could at least get Will back for this later.

                When we were done eating, we tossed our dishes in the sink. Will led me back down to his bedroom.

                He moved towards his script, but I ducked around him and snatched it in my hands. Will scowled at me.

                “Hand that over Ethan. I’m not done with it,” he said, holding his hand out to me.

                “Nope. You lose your rights to this,” I said.

                “What are you talking about?” he asked.

                I grinned. “Revenge for calling me short.”

                He rolled his eyes and stormed over to me, knocking me onto his bed. He crawled on top of me, restraining my arms against the mattress and forcing the script out of my hand.

                It fluttered to the ground as we stared at each other. Blood slowly crept into Will’s cheeks as he realized the position he had just put us in.

                I reached up, tangling my fingers in his messy hair and drawing his head down so that we were kissing. Will released my arms, placing a hand behind my neck and lifting my head.

                His lips worked against mine with a contained desperation. As I kissed him back, I wondered if he would ever drop any of his guards.

                Will’s hand dropped down to my chest, and I put my free hand on his shoulder, gripping it. We were steadily heating up our little private moment.

                His hand slid up my chest, his fingers brushing against my neck. The hand holding him up slipped a little as his blanket moved, and he accidentally put a little more pressure on my neck.

                It wasn’t much pressure, but it was enough to make me shove Will off of me in terror. He caught himself before he fell off of his bed, watching me carefully.

                “Sorry,” he said. “My hand slipped.”

                “I noticed,” I said, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

                “Are you okay?” He moved towards me.

                “I’m fine,” I assured him before he got too close. I tugged on my shirt, pulling it away from my neck.

                “Are you sure?” He leaned back, studying me.

                “Positive. Now stop staring at me,” I said.

                “And you have the nerve to call me frustrating.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “You hide a lot, Ethan.”

                “I’m not hiding anything. That just caught me off guard,” I said.

                “No, if it had caught you off guard, you would’ve been surprised. You were scared. Terrified, actually. But why?” He gave me a bitter smile. “Did bullies choke you?”

                “On more than one occasion. But that has nothing to do with it. I was just surprised,” I lied.

                “Do you believe your own lies, Ethan? You’re scarred, physically and mentally.” He reached out, gently running a finger across two of the scars on my leg. I drew my leg towards me, shrugging at him.

                “Just physically,” I said. My hand absentmindedly went to the scar under my eye. The scar Landon had given me when he punched me with his dad’s ring on.

                Will turned, looking out of his window. “You didn’t have any friends for almost 18 years. No siblings to play with. Just parents, who were probably working most of the time. You must have been such a lonely kid. How bitter are you really, Ethan? How much do you despise everyone because they fit in and you don’t? How often did you look at laughing friends and wish they would all just die?”

                I threw up mental blocks again. “Never. I didn’t want people to die just because they were happy,” I said.

                “It’s ironic,” Will said, ignoring me. “I bet you hugged your legs a lot. Sat in the corner, hugging your legs to yourself because you had nothing else to hug. And yet you slashed away at them with a razor.”

                Will was approaching very dangerous territory again. My head began to throb a little, and I twirled a lock of hair around my finger.

                “If I wanted something to hug, I could’ve just asked for a dog,” I said. “Maybe a Chihuahua. I always felt like Chihuahuas were my spirit animal.”

                Will snickered. “I know I’m right, because you try to blow off the topic with your sarcasm. You try to nonchalantly change the topic. But you can’t run and hide forever, Ethan. You have to face your demons sometime. You can only shove so many skeletons in the closet before it bursts open.”

                “Negativity is not good for my digestion,” I said.

                “I bet you bottle it all up. You shove it as far back in your mind as you can. But if it all came out, it would shatter you into a million little pieces.” He reached his arm out, letting his fingers brush against my cheek. “You’re truly fucked up.”

                “Nah, I’m just scrawny and perverted,” I said with a shrug. “Besides, you’re the one who’s all doom and gloom and skipping school.”

                “Keep up that happy, joking façade,” he said. “Keep it up as long as you want, but it can’t last forever. Me? I’m just done.”

                “If you were done, you would have killed yourself,” I said simply. “You’re not done. You still go to some classes. You still keep relationships with people. You still have a dream. A goal in life. You, William Duvet, are far from done.”

                “What’s your biggest fear?” he asked, lying down with his head in my lap. He looked up at me with that unreadable expression of his.

                “Being a homo,” I said.

                Will scowled at me. “I’m being serious.”

                “So am I. Imagined if I got bit by a gay guy and I turned gay!”

                “Ethan!” His scowl got deeper.

                “Your mom said you have a nice smile, but I’ve only ever seen you scowl,” I said, poking his cheek.

                “You’re changing the subject,” he said, pushing my finger away. “What’s your biggest fear?”

                “Would it be appropriate and cruelly ironic if I said nuts?” I offered.

                “It would be a lie,” he said.

                “Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” I said.

                “Not fulfilling my dream,” he said after a moment of silence. “I want to make a movie that will change people. That will open their eyes and make them think. That can help people. And I’m afraid that I won’t be able to do that. Now, what’s yours?”

                I met his eyes. “Being alone forever.”

                “I told you I wouldn’t let that happen,” he said.

                “Well, aren’t you just the perfect knight in shining armor,” I said.

                He sat up and kissed me. This time, he was careful to keep it a short kiss. When he pulled away from me, he stood up and picked up his script.

                He sat down, reading over his script. I could tell that we were done here, and I had homework to do.

                I stood up and slung my backpack over my shoulder. “I’m leaving. Goodbye Will,” I said.

                “Just remember Ethan: You can’t hide your secrets forever,” Will said without looking up from the script. “I’ll figure out everything soon enough, no matter how hard you tried to hide it.”

                I shut the door without responding to that. I pulled my shoes on and popped my earphones in as I stepped out of the house.

                As I walked through Will’s neighborhood, I smelled smoke. I looked over and saw that a guy was building a fire by the side of his house, a little boy standing nearby with a pack of marshmallows in one hand and a book in the other. The smell of smoke pounded up my nose, attacking my brain.

                I shook my head, wishing the smell would get out of my nose. I hated the smell of-

                -smoke rising from the flames. I gripped the notebook, flipping it open and tearing out the pages of it. I stared into the flames as they crackled, taunting me. I clenched my fist, bunching up the papers. I lifted my hand and-

                -pulled my shirt up over my nose. Anything to block out that smell. God how I hated the-

                -smell of smoke seemed to engulf me as the wind blew. I trembled as I dropped the pages of the journal into the fire.

                The flames licked the pages, hungrily swallowing them, burning holes in the words I had written since I was in the 7th grade. I caught glimpses of words and phrases as they burned.

                “…getting bad again…”

                “…cut…”

                “…can’t take much more…”

                “…lonely…”

                “…can’t sleep…”

                “…hate everyone, everyone last person…”

                “…stop crying…”

                “…relapsing, and pants can’t hide the cuts forever…”

                I turned away from the fire as it ate the last of the pages. Burn the evidence. Burn it all, before anyone could find the journal. Just let it burn.

                Somehow, I convinced my feet to start-

                -moving faster, carrying myself away from the fire. I let my shirt fall back into place, biting my lip to get myself under control.

                I turned up my music, blasting Get Scared. I made my way home, pushing the front door open and heading upstairs.

                “Ethan,” mom said in surprise as I nearly ran into her. “You’re home early. Is everything okay?”

                Her voice turned nervous, and I could read the unasked questions in her eyes. Did your friends ditch you? Are you all alone again?  

                “Everything’s fine. Will was working on a script, and I have homework to do,” I said.

                “Oh. Okay,” she said, relaxing. “We already ate, but if you’re hungry, there’s leftovers n the refrigerator.”

                “I already ate,” I said, moving past her and shutting myself into my bedroom.

                I slid down against the door shakily, wrapping my arms around myself. Being around Will was turning out to be very, very dangerous. He was trying to uncover things that were better left buried. He was trying to break through the dams in my head.

                But I knew that I couldn’t just cut off ties with him. I had grown far too attached to Will.

                I groaned and banged my head against my door. “Way to go, Ethan. You finally met someone with less of a filter than you. Woo freaking hoo.”

                I grinned to myself. “Ah well. I’m too far into this to get out now. Might as well make Will Duvet my boyfriend tomorrow.”

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A.N.- GUYS GUYS GUYS. SO MY IPOD WAS ON SHUFFLE WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS, AND SOUND OF MADNESS CAME ON, AND IT FITS ETHAN SO PERFECTLY THAT I LITERALLY LET OUT SOME COMBINATION BETWEEN AN EXCITED SCREAM AND A HEARTWRENCHING SOB AND IT SCARED MY ROOMMATE. SO GO LISTEN TO IT SO THAT THE TERRIFYING NOISE THAT I PRODUCED WAS NOT IN VAIN.  

On another note, this story is getting kind of deep. Blahhh I hope you guys don't mind that. I know that Ethan and Will aren't the most "all over each other" kind of couple, but I think they're cute in their own way :3 So let me know what you think of the story and Ethan and Will so far! 

~Jen