66. Prom Dresses

BPOV

"EARTHQUAKE!" I shouted, bolting upright in the bed, only to be met with three tinkling giggles. My whole world was shaking rhythmically, making it hard for my bleary, sleep encrusted eyes to focus properly.

"Yeah, laugh it up," I muttered. "You aren't the ones who'll be crushed under all the debris."

The bouncing stopped, as my energetic pixie dropped to her bottom on the bed beside me. "Silly Bella! There's no earthquake! I was merely jumping up and down on your bed."

I groaned and flopped back onto my pillow, closing my eyes. "Why?" I whined pathetically.

She started shaking my shoulder. "Up and at 'em, lazybones. Rise and shine! The sun is up and so should you be. It's time to go shopping!"

"Are you sure the sun is up?" I moaned, keeping my eyes closed.

"Be thankful we kept her off you this long," Rose called from the other room. "She didn't like you wasting perfectly good shopping hours on something as mundane as sleeping."

Alice huffed and spread the curtains wide open, letting the sunshine come pouring in, hitting my face. My eyelids were glowing red with the force of the brightness. I slowly lifted my lids, giving my pupils time to adjust. Wait a minute. Bright, glaring sunshine? We weren't going anywhere! How could we?

"Uh, Alice? I know it was cloudy last night when we got here, which worked out perfectly for us, but right now the sun is out in full force," I mentioned hesitantly, hating to kill her mood. "How are we going to go shopping without all of you sparkling?"

Alice laughed. "Oh, no. You don't get out of it that easily. This is L.A.—home of the wealthy eccentrics. We'll wear long sleeves, long pants, gloves, and wide-brimmed floppy hats. Additionally, we'll put on an extra layer of sun blocking foundation. If anybody asks, you can tell them we're deathly afraid of getting skin cancer, so we go above and beyond to avoid any unnecessary sun exposure."

I nodded, thinking that might actually work.

"Plus, I've hired a limo to take us from place to place. You know, the smog works in our favor as well, as it refracts some of the sunlight before it hits us. On heavier smog days, we would barely sparkle at all. On a day like today, we would still sparkle much less than we would on a sunny day in Forks. In fact, we might even be able to get away with insisting it's simply body glitter. We wouldn't be the only people in town wearing it," Alice continued.

I grinned at the thought. "I want some body glitter, Alice. I want to sparkle like you guys do."

"Sure thing, Bella," Rose replied with a grin, coming to stand by my bed. "I wonder what Edward would think. You know, if we picked up some bright red contacts like the movie people use, we could really scare the crap out of him on the next sunny day."

"I'm in," I cheered, laughing at the thought of how he would react to suddenly finding newborn Bella waiting in the meadow. "How long do you think it would take him to figure out my heart was still beating?"

"Oooohh! That would be a good subject for a bet!" Rose exclaimed. "Don't tell anyone, Alice!"

Esme strolled into the room, amusement shining on her face. "Are you three trying to give my poor son a heart attack?"

"He does like to say I'll be the death of him," I pointed out wryly.

Rose raised an eyebrow in confusion. "But he's already dead."

"I know."

"So, what on earth is that supposed to mean?" she wondered.

"Heck if I know," I snapped. "I swear that boy just needs to get a life!"

"Ummm, Bella?" Rose asked. I nodded. "He's already dead."

"I know," I griped. "That's why he really needs to get a life!"

The other three laughed at me.

"Well, when you figure out where he can get one, be sure to let me know," Rose teased.

I grinned. "I think I heard a local car dealership advertising a 'lifetime event'. Perhaps we can get one there."

They groaned at my meager pun, and there was a knock on the front door of the suite.

"Ah, breakfast is here, my dear," Esme announced, moving toward the door. "Why don't you get ready to face the day, and then come enjoy your breakfast before it gets cold?"

"Yes, Mom," I answered with a grin. She smiled and winked.

After breakfast, we made our way to the shops.

"Where are we going, Alice?" I asked, not really caring since I didn't have a say either way, but wanting to get some idea of our destination.

"There is a particular designer who I think will have dresses for all of us. She is not as famous as some others I usually use, but she has done work for some of the local celebrities. Since we are short on time, I decided it would be better to go to a smaller shop where we can get the type of customer service we deserve," she explained.

"Sounds good to me," I replied casually.

She grinned. "I didn't even tell you her name."

"Oh, yeah, right. So, uh, who is she?" I stuttered.

"Jovani," she announced, as if I should know that name. Frankly, I'd never hear of her before. Apparently Rose had though, as she merely raised her eyebrows in slight surprise and then nodded her head in acceptance. I simply stared at her blankly.

"Do you know what that means, Bella?" Rose asked with a smirk.

I nodded solemnly. "Expensive."

My family all chuckled, shaking their heads. "Bella, Bella, Bella, whatever are we going to do with you?"

"Keep me and love me forever?" I suggested, grinning happily.

"You are something else, Bella dear," Esme gently teased.

"Yeah, I'm something, alright, only nobody's figured out what yet," I muttered cheekily.

Alice giggled, giving me a hug. "I think crazy about covers it."

"Hey, I wasn't the one locked up in a mental institution," I protested. Alice withdrew, looking sad. I felt bad for bringing that up. No doubt she felt utterly abandoned by her human family. "That doesn't mean I don't belong in one though. I mean how many human teenage girls do you know that hate shopping and feel most comfortable when surrounded by vampires?"

Alice recovered and grinned. "Yeah, if you'd grown up in my time period, we'd have likely been wearing matching straitjackets and sharing a padded cell."

"Well, considering the number of times I trip and fall, padded walls might be a good idea for me," I quipped.

"Isn't that the truth?" Rose agreed.

"That's one human characteristic I can't wait to lose!" I enthused. "That, and the blushing."

"But if you stop tripping and blushing, what is poor Emmett going to do for entertainment?" Rose jokingly complained.

"Well, he will be able to tease her and Eddie about their sex life," Alice drawled.

"Oh, well, in that case, he'll have material for years, decades even," Rose sniggered.

I rolled my eyes. "Not if I can help it."

"Good luck, dear," Esme laughed. "Controlling Emmett's outrageous humor goes hand in hand with telling Alice 'no'. I've been trying for over fifty years and haven't managed yet."

On that note, we exited the car and glided into the dress shop. We split up to look at the dresses on display. The theme for the Prom was "Under the Sea", so most of the girls would be dressed in shades of blue or green, with a few wearing pinks, creams, and peaches to represent shells.

"I found the perfect dress for you, Rose!" Alice cried excitedly. "It completely fits your personality!"

Rose glided over quickly to take a look, but when she saw the dress, she glared menacingly at Alice.

"Are you trying to say something, Alice?" she growled.

"Now, girls," Esme began, trying to prevent any trouble. She caught a glimpse of the dress in question and choked back a chuckle. Now I was curious. I moved around until I could see the dress. It was really quite beautiful, but the design was that of peacock feathers.

"Alice, why on earth would a peacock's display remind you of our dear Rose?" I smirked. Alice widened her eyes, donning her 'innocent' face. "Well, peacock feathers are extremely beautiful and valued by royalty, aren't they?"

Rose chuckled, "Nice save, sister dear."

Alice quickly snatched up another dress, putting the peacock one back on the rack. "How about this one for Bella? It's got the green see-thru overskirt to tie into the theme."

"Alice, it's covered in leopard and tiger prints," Rose protested.

Alice nodded. "I know, all of Edward's favorites."

"I'm not sure it would be a good idea to remind Edward of his favorite meals while he's holding Bella in such close proximity. He has a hard enough time with his control as it is," Esme warned.

"True," Alice pondered. She hung that dress up and grabbed another one, holding it up to herself. "Of course, I wouldn't mind if Jasper wanted to think about eating me!"

"If you wear that, you'll certainly stir his appetite," Rose teased. The dress was a sexy leopard/zebra print.

"I'm going to get this just for a special date night," Alice decided. Esme brought a beautiful royal blue dress over to me.

"I do think this will look good on you, Bella, and I'm certain Edward will like it," Esme commented in a motherly tone. She held up the dress so I could get a good look at it.

"I love it, Esme!" I exclaimed. "I can't wait to try it on and see if it fits." I grabbed the dress and took it to the dressing room. It fit like a glove. I came out to show it off to my family and they all clapped for me.

"That's the one!" Alice assured me. I grinned and went back in the dressing room to change back into my regular clothes. That had been easy, maybe even too easy. How often did I go shopping with Alice and get away with only trying on one thing?

By the time I made it back out into the store, Alice had a number of dresses draped over her arm. She saw me looking at the stack and gave me her pouty smile.

"These are what I call little black numbers. Everyone needs a little black dress for special occasions," she declared confidently.

"Alice!" Esme called. "I think I found what you're looking for, dear. You'll look like a mermaid in this dress."

She held it up and Alice squealed, clapping her hands with delight. "Yes, that's it! Thank you, Esme!" Esme smiled proudly.

The dress was made of shimmery blues and greens, reflecting light. It really did look reminiscent of mermaid scales sparkling under water in the sunlight. It was beautiful and fit the theme perfectly.

"Tell me, Alice," I whispered to her. "Did you choose the prom theme to fit the dress or the dress to fit the prom theme?"

She smirked at me and winked. "I'll never tell."

I laughed. I wouldn't put it past her to arrange the entire prom theme around the perfect dress.

Rose came out of the dressing room sporting a little red number that was so hot I jokingly considered calling the fire department.

Alice laughed. "You can call the fire department if you want, Bella. They won't mind the disruption, at least not when they catch sight of Rose."

Rose and Esme laughed appreciatively.

"Man, Rose, if you wear that, they'd better have Carlisle working the ER to deal with all the cases of heart failure that'll occur when you walk through the door," I mentioned, only half kidding. "Not to mention the number of boys who will spontaneously burst into flames at the sight of you."

Rose grinned at me. "Looks like I've found my dress then."

She strolled back into the dressing room to change.

"Esme, this dress is for you," Alice announced, holding a sexy black number out to her. She hesitated, reaching out a little, but not accepting it.

"I can't wear that, Alice!" Esme exclaimed in embarrassment. "It's indecent!"

Alice huffed. "It isn't indecent, or else they wouldn't sell it here to be worn in public. Do I need to remind you that all six of your children will be attending the prom, leaving you and Carlisle with the whole house to yourselves?"

Esme's eyes darkened and she grabbed the dress. I was sure if she were human she would be blushing, but she still grinned. "You're absolutely right, Alice, and I think Carlisle will really appreciate this dress under those circumstances. I'm sure I could persuade him to enjoy a little moonlit dancing."

"Besides, if you want to see indecent, you should see the one I picked out for Rose!" Alice declared, holding up a skimpy black dress with see-thru lace panels.

"Oh, yeah! Now we're talking!" Rose exclaimed, giving Alice a high five. "Emmett will be my willing slave when I wear this, putty in my all too capable hands!"

I blushed just looking at the dress and hoped I'd never see her modeling it. I couldn't imagine anyone actually wearing that thing in public, unless they were a prostitute or something. Alice was right, it was positively indecent. "Just let me know in advance which day you're planning on wearing that so I can keep Edward far, far away," I pleaded.

"Let me know in advance, so I can make sure Jasper and I are ready to take full advantage of the tidal wave of lust that Emmett will be pouring out," Alice added.

"Let me know, so I can find out if Carlisle is going to be around or not. If he's working, I want to be miles away from the house, but if he's home, we might as well take advantage of Jasper's gift. He certainly won't be able to keep all that lust contained within himself. I have no doubt it will be washing through the house, drowning all the occupants," Esme confided.

"This is my little black number," Alice stated, holding up a velvet gown. It hung all the way to the floor, so at first it appeared decently modest. Then, as my eyes took in more details, I realized it had no back and the leg slit almost went all the way to the hip, leaving very little of the leg to the imagination. With every step, her thighs would be exposed, especially to vampire vision which wouldn't be deterred by the shadows cast by the fabric.

"Good grief!" I grumbled. "Why not just drape a piece of cloth over you? It would probably work just as well. That dress barely covers anything!"

Alice gave me a piercing look and rolled her eyes. "That's the point, Bella! There's no need to get so worked up, you know. We're wearing them for our husbands to whom we've been married for over half a century. Give us a break. So what if we want to keep it exciting after all this time?"

She had a point there. "Sorry," I mumbled, hanging my head. "I guess I'm almost as much of a prude as Edward is."

"It's why you two are so good for each other, darling," Esme murmured, embracing me and kissing the top of my head. I smiled up at her, basking in her affection.

"Hey, Tinkerbell!" Rose cried excitedly. "I've got the perfect dress for you. All you need are some wings and pixie dust!"

She tossed a very short green dress with a crinoline miniskirt over to Alice. Alice squealed with joy as she caught it. "Perfect! Just what I've been needing to complete a certain ensemble I've been designing. Jasper is absolutely going to love this."

One look at her expression and I decided I didn't really want to know.

I looked at my watch and was surprised to note we'd only been shopping for a few hours. We already had our dresses, and the rest of the day was stretching out before us. We paid for our purchases (well, the Cullens paid), and Alice led us to a little restaurant for me to grab some lunch.

"So, now that the shopping is done, how about we go someplace fun, like Knott's Berry farm?" I recommended enthusiastically.

Alice looked at me as if I had completely lost my marbles. "Done? What on earth makes you think we're done?"

My smile faltered and I hesitated. "Well, we got the dresses, right?"

"Of course we got the dresses, but that's only the beginning. We need to get the rest of the outfit—shoes, hose, undergarments, jewelry, makeup, etc. We've got a lot more to do, so don't dawdle!"

I cringed. How could I have been so naïve? Wasn't I used to shopping with Alice yet? She seriously needed a pet project to keep her out of my hair, literally. Maybe I could get her to focus all her makeover talents on Leah and Angela and leave me alone. I loved her and enjoyed spending time with her, but there's only so much Bella Barbie one girl could take. Where was Jasper when you needed him? I had quickly gone from optimistic hope and joy that we could enjoy the rest of our day to the disturbing knowledge that I was only praying to survive until dinnertime.

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