On Our Way

BPOV

"Okay, Alice, since our drawing session was canceled Monday due to the 'love bug', I thought it would be a fun way to spend the time on our way to L.A.," I suggested. Alice beamed at me.

"Yes, I agree, I have all the stuff with me," she acknowledged. She pulled out her quality art supplies and drawing paper. "So, where should we start?"

"Mine first!" Rose insisted. "I agreed not to actually prank them against my instincts, so the least you can do is show me what would have happened if we had gone ahead with it."

"Okay, which of your two should I look at first?" Alice asked. Rose thought for a minute.

"Let's start with Stacey," Rose decided. "For her prank, we're going to assault her with whoopee cushions all day long."

Esme cleared her throat and eyed us all disapprovingly. "What are you girls discussing?"

"There are six girls at our school who keep annoying our guys. They had the nerve to ask our husbands to take them to the dance. We need to put them in their place," Rose explained.

Esme appeared troubled. She sighed. "Girls, I understand how you feel. There are a couple of nurses at the hospital who repeatedly flirt with Carlisle, touching him inappropriately and making him uncomfortable. They are committing sexual harassment, but we can't afford to get caught up in a big investigation and court case, so he can't report them. I am angry at the way they treat him when he has done nothing but reject their advances ever since we came here. They know he is happily married with five children. I can't understand why they think it is okay to try to entice him into an affair. Don't they understand it would ruin his marriage, his family, his reputation, and his standing in the community if he ever succumbed to their advances?"

We all commiserated with her, squeezing her shoulders and arm in a silent show of support, knowing she wasn't finished yet. "As much as I would like to retaliate against those women, I know it is the wrong thing to do. Carlisle would not appreciate it, and I would have to live with the knowledge that I was not above petty acts of jealousy. Instead, I must cling to the knowledge that my Carlisle will never betray me, and force myself to turn the other cheek."

"Oh, Esme," I sighed sadly. "We came to the same conclusion as you. However, we did make a public spectacle of the girls as we confronted them on their behavior."

Alice repeated our speeches to her. She seemed rather impressed.

"Esme, we would be your support team if you wanted to confront them one day at the hospital, or perhaps in town," I volunteered. She met my eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled wholeheartedly at me.

"Thank you, Bella! That means a lot to me. Perhaps I will take you up on your offer after we get back," Esme replied sweetly. Rose and Alice cheered.

"We decided that even though we weren't going to retaliate with the pranks we thought of, we needed the stress relief of enjoying the reactions they would have had if we had actually gone through with it. Thus, we are going to decide to go through with each prank, and Alice is going to watch a vision of the results. She will then draw a few pictures of what she sees, so we can all enjoy them," Rose expounded.

Esme grinned, a sparkle in her eye. "Well, I don't see how that could possibly hurt, considering no one will actually be harmed. Please continue."

We grinned back at her and huddled around Alice again.

"You might want to think of a few plans of your own, Esme," I recommended to her with a wink. "A little stress relief of your own directed toward those nurses."

She smiled but didn't reply. I shrugged. The choice was hers either way.

"Remember, it's Stacey and the whoopee cushions," Rose reminded Alice.

"I do remember. I'm a vampire, silly," Alice protested. Rose rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Yes, but you're so easily distracted. I'm just trying to keep you on task," Rose complained. Alice went into her vision. Before she even came out of it, she was drawing furiously. We allowed her peace and quiet to finish her drawings. It looked like a blur to me, as she was working at vampire pace. Before long, she had three drawings completed.

The first was in class, with Stacey looking bewildered and embarrassed, noise issuing from her bottom. The children around her were pointing and laughing, and the teacher was frowning in disgust. The second showed her making farting noises with each step as she walked down the hallway. Her head was hanging and the kids at their lockers were staring at her—some with laughter, some with disgust, and some with pity. Emmett was hiding in the shadows with a remote control, pushing the button. I quickly realized that instead of a whoopee cushion, they must have slipped a tiny speaker into her pants. The final scene was in the lunch room, where the distraught girl sat alone. People were waving their hands in front of their noses and shaking their heads at her. The caption at the bottom read 'Stinky Stacey.' I was glad we hadn't done any of that for real. Rose, on the other hand, found it extremely funny.

"Cool! Now do Tiffany with the baby food and Depends," she enthused, encouraging Alice.

Alice complied and was soon back to drawing again. The first scene showed an embarrassed Tiffany at her locker, surrounded by the football team as she picks up the urine pads off the floor and stuffs them back in the bag that had fallen out of her locker. The boys on the team were stuck between surprise and amusement.

The second picture showed a confused Tiffany with her baby food lunch spilled out onto the table and one of her 'friends' reading aloud the note from her mother announcing that if she continued wetting her pants like a baby then she would be treated like one.

The third picture showed her shoulders slumped and hands over her face as she reported to the nurse's office, a big wet spot at her crotch and down her legs. The nurse was trying to give her some Depends, and had pulled out a hideous green skirt and some white granny briefs for her to wear for the rest of the day. The caption underneath read 'Princess Pottypants'. I couldn't help feeling sorry for her. I hoped I never got on Rose's bad side. Her revenges were brutal.

"I'm going to do Jessica and Erica next," Alice declared. She went to work, only making two pictures each for them.

The first picture of Jessica had her staring into her mirror at herself with bright green hair. She looked desperate and distraught. Her hands were tugging on her hair. The second picture showed Jessica in the chair for yearbook pictures, the photographer having just pushed the button to capture the shot. The principal was looking down at Jessica in disapproval, while holding a hat out of her reach. Jessica's hands were shielding her head, but not enough to hide the color of her hair. Her face was grimacing in a snarl, and her mouth was formed as if she were screaming obscenities while glaring at everyone. The caption under that picture was 'The Wicked Witch of the West'.

The first picture of Erica showed her looking in the mirror with confusion and concern as she noticed her bright orange skin. She was poking at herself as she peered at her reflection. The next picture showed her at school, her first teacher looking upset and angry, her head tilted in confusion and surprise, and the rest of the kids doubled over in laughter, but not pointing at her. I didn't get it, so I looked at the caption underneath, hoping for insight, 'Oompah-Loompah'.

"Oompah-Loompah?" I asked Alice in confusion.

"She decided she'd become an Oompah-Loompah, which are the little people in the story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, who work in Willie Wonka's factory. They had orange skin," Alice snickered.

"Did she really believe that she'd become one?" Rose asked in disbelief.

Alice nodded with a smirk. "She really did. If we'd have painted her blue, I bet she would've thought she'd been turned into a Smurf."

We all snickered at that thought.

"She would probably have been thrilled at that idea, considering there was only one female smurf and the rest were males who all had the hots for the one girl," Rose sneered.

"Okay, now I'm going after Sarah," Alice decided.

The first picture showed Alice packing Sarah's clothes into two giant garbage bags while Sarah slept peacefully in the bed near the closet. The next picture showed Alice down by the sewage treatment plant, pouring smelly water into the bags to be absorbed by the clothes. The third picture showed Sarah's nauseous face as she got a whiff of her odiferous belongings and a glance at the most hideous outfit laid out on the chair beside the bed. The fourth picture showed Sarah with a bright red face sitting in the chair for the yearbook pictures. The photographer was cracking up as he pressed the button to snap the photo. The outfit consisted of: a shirt with lime green and bright orange stripes, with giant appliqués of UFOs and aliens; a short pink and blue plaid skirt with a black lacy fringe; and red leggings with large yellow paint splotches randomly placed all over them. The caption under that read "The Clown".

"Where on earth did you find that outfit?" Rose demanded, making a face.

"I couldn't find anything horrible enough, so I made my own," Alice answered with a devious smirk.

"Remind me to never make Alice mad," I whispered to Esme, knowing the other two would hear. They all chuckled, though Rose and Esme both nodded meaningfully.

Alice bounced excitedly in her seat. "We've saved Lauren for last. This should be fun." Once again, she went to work.

The first picture showed Lauren walking down the hallway at school while several boys pointed to the used condom hanging out of her jacket pocket. The second picture showed Mike dangling the used condom in Lauren's face, clearly asking a question. Several used condoms had fallen to the floor at her feet. Tyler was on the other side of her with a handful of new condoms he had just pulled out of her other pocket, a lusty leer present on his features. More boys had surrounded her while the girls and several teachers looked on with disdain and disgust. The third picture showed Lauren dancing on a tabletop in the cafeteria, her face excited and pleased, while a large group of boys surrounded the table, cheering for her. The principal and guidance counselor were angrily approaching and the girls were all keeping their distance, though one group of girls were actually in the process of throwing food at Lauren. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought. The caption under the picture read 'The Slut'.

"Well, I have to admit I feel much better," I confessed. "Seeing the girls get what they deserve in pictures soothes the savage beast within even better than doing it in reality. If I had really done these things, I would've had to feel guilty, but since it's just in my imagination, I don't have to feel bad. No harm, no foul."

Rose and Alice nodded. "You really should think about it, Esme," Rose added. "It has worked wonders for me too. I shall treasure these beautiful works of art forever and always."

Alice began pretending to bow. "Why, thank you, thank you. It was my pleasure."

We pulled into L.A. and went to the hotel. I didn't bother to protest as we were led to a suite that was bigger than Charlie's whole house. I didn't want to know how much things cost. I had promised not to complain, and I intended to keep that promise.

"It's too late to go dress shopping," Alice announced. "But we've got about two hours of daylight left. Would you like to go see the Hollywood sign now? We can do the Walk of Fame after dark, as the street is well lit."

"Really?" I shrieked, throwing my arms around her. "Awesome! Let's do it!" I couldn't believe she was actually going to let me do sightseeing first instead of hopping right into shopping.

Downtown Hollywood was rather disappointing to me. It didn't really look the way it did in the movies. In fact, it looked rather normal. Everyday people doing everyday things. What a letdown. I wasn't exactly sure what I had been expecting, but it wasn't what I found. Perhaps I had expected to see movies being shot on every other street. Or maybe movie stars in glamorous costumes waltzing down the sidewalks, followed by crowds of crazy fans. No, there were apartments and office buildings right next to some of the famous sights. It looked a lot like any other city in the U.S.

I got excited as we approached the Hollywood sign. It was awesome to see it up on the hill, like I had in so many movies. It was weird to be driving through someone's neighborhood looking for a way up the mountain though. The homes were large and close together, perched on the edge on one side and built into the mountain on the other. The road itself was narrow with no markings. The sides of the road dropped off sharply. There was no place to pull over and park. In fact, there were neighborhood signs preventing it, refusing tourists and naming them as private roads for residents only.

Alice was driving, and to my surprise, she pulled into someone's driveway, blocking their garage. She parked and turned off the engine.

"Alice? Are you sure it's okay to park here? What if the owner comes home?" I wondered. She gave me a look, like she couldn't believe I was foolish enough to question her. "What about the neighbors?"

She double checked her vision and assured me the car would be just fine where it was. I shrugged and got out of the car. I never bet against Alice. We walked around behind the house. Rose picked me up in her arms and jumped over the fence with me. By the time we landed, Alice and Esme were on the other side as well. Rose kept hold of me and raced to the back fence. She jumped over it, as did the other two. Then she started running up the hill toward the sign. I gulped and shut my eyes quickly as I felt my stomach lurch. Before I could think about getting comfortable, Rose came to an abrupt halt. I opened my eyes to see we were right underneath the sign.

"Wow, it's huge!" I mumbled. Rose snorted. She moved me to her back.

"Hang on tight," she warned. In a flash, she had scaled the scaffolding on the 'W'.

"Emmett thinks it's the funniest thing that it says 'wood', so he decided to leave his mark. She showed me a heart he had etched into the metal on the inside which read, "EMC luvs RHC". I laughed, and Rosalie rolled her eyes. She scared the crap out of me as she lunged over to the 'O' grabbing hold of the scaffolding there. My heart was going a mile a minute. She looked over her shoulder at me and smirked.

"Excited, are we?" she asked. I was shaking too much to respond and worked on calming myself with deep breaths. She showed me another carving, featuring a face peering over a wall Kilgore-style and the words 'Emmett C was here.'

She showed me the carvings he had made on the other 'O' and the 'D' as well, before we headed back to the car. Once we got close to the house where we parked, Rose stopped to allow me to take in the full effect of the view from an unobstructed distance. I watched as the beautiful rays of the sunset hit the sign and the sky was streaked with oranges, pinks, and purples. Then we went back to the Walk of Fame. I walked along the sidewalk, looking at the stars, but soon found myself bored. I wasn't obsessed with any one star in particular, so after a few minutes, they all seemed to run together. My stomach growled, and I was glad of the excuse to return to the hotel. My companions were also ready to go, so we simply headed back to our suite, where I ordered room service. My family was thankful they wouldn't have to suffer through the pretense of eating, though they would have gladly done so for me.

We had fun just talking and getting to know each other better. I headed off to bed early, knowing Alice had a big day planned the next day.

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