55. Back to School

BPOV

We were sitting around the lunch table, waiting for Edward to explain what had happened with Mike/Michelle on Friday night. The poor boy had been having a rough morning. Almost every kid in the school had seen the YouTube video, and those that hadn't had now watched it on their friends' internet enabled electronic devices, such as cell phones and palm pilots. Mike had been getting propositioned and jeered on all sides, being called Michelle most of the time. Even the teachers seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face as they tried to maintain order and address him as Mike.

I was starting to feel bad for Mike, despite what he had done, and it was clear Angela was upset as well.

"How could you leave him with Jessica and Lauren like that?" she demanded of Edward. Edward shrugged.

"He confessed to having been a Peeping Tom for several of their slumber parties, and he got much more of an eyeful there than he did at our house. I felt it was only fair for the girls to dispense their own justice, though I didn't tell them what he had done."

Rose appeared outraged on behalf of females everywhere at the news. Edward hadn't told anyone else about that. "Bastard got what he deserved," she muttered angrily.

Angela had been appropriately shocked and appalled at the news. She took a few moments to collect herself. Then she realized that she herself had attended some of their slumber parties, and her anger grew. "You mean that jerkoff has spied on me before and seen me in my nightclothes?"

Edward nodded, giving her a sympathetic look.

"On second thought, I want to thank you, Edward, for what you did. I believe what comes around goes around. He's just finally getting what comes to him."

Everyone at the table agreed, given the new information. It was past time for Mike to learn his lesson.

"Okay, so tell us all the juicy details from Friday night, Edward," Emmett coaxed. "We want the inside story from Jessica's and Lauren's viewpoints."

Edward grinned. "Okay, here goes: Jessica recognized Mike almost immediately, despite the makeup, due to her enduring crush on him. She told Lauren, and the two of them began hatching evil plots. They helped him into Jessica's living room and sat him on the couch. He was still a bit groggy, but starting to come out of it. He recognized them, but didn't realize his own clothing was amiss. Jessica set up the video camera, while Lauren distracted him.

"Once it was recording, Jessica put on some music and then asked Mike to perform a strip tease. He eagerly agreed, but halted in confusion when he realized he was wearing a dress. At that point, he decided he must be having a vivid dream, as he couldn't recollect dressing that way or going over to Jessica's house. Upon deciding he was dreaming, he really cut loose, releasing all his inhibitions. He performed the strip tease until he was down to his boxers. The girls told him to stop and leave them in place. He was disappointed, but complied. Then the girls told him he shouldn't have been wearing panty hose with hairy legs. They insisted he shave his legs. They provided him with shaving cream and a razor and sat down to watch. Figuring it was a dream, albeit a strange one, he complied. The strip tease was caught on tape and posted on YouTube, but the leg shaving was not. Now Mike is dreading gym and is desperately trying to come up with excuses not to dress in his gym uniform, knowing the shorts will expose his remaining secrets.

"Jessica and Lauren teased him a bit more, making him say all kinds of silly things, which they managed to record, but are saving for a later date. Then Jessica kindly took him to pick up his SUV, which was parked at the bar where I left it. He drove himself home in nothing but boxers, tucked himself into bed, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night. Jessica and Lauren have been spreading the story of how Mike's lover left him at the bar, and he was so distraught that a neighbor, not recognizing him in drag, had brought him to her house, as he kept saying her name. That pretty much sums it up and brings us up to speed."

Alice's eyes glazed over as she processed a vision. She came out of it with a huge grin, one that was matched on Edward's face.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked impatiently. Obviously, something hilarious was going to happen soon.

"Everybody meet up outside the back door of the gym right after school lets out, okay?" Alice suggested. Everyone except Angela and Ben started grinning and nodded their acceptance of the plan.

"Why?" Angela asked in confusion.

"You won't want to miss the show!" Alice exclaimed excitedly. With that as her final note, she dumped her uneaten food in the trash and danced off to class with Jasper at her side. Rosalie and Emmett also chose to head out of the cafeteria. The rest of us stayed a few more minutes to finish eating, before heading off to Biology.

"What show?" Angela asked me as we walked to our building.

"Angela, have you noticed anything special about Alice?" I asked cautiously.

"You mean how she always seems to know things? How she gives you things before you ask, how she answers the phone before it rings, that sort of thing?" I had to give Angela credit. She was more observant than the Cullens had realized. I saw Edward looking at her in surprise. Apparently, she had even kept her suspicions on the subconscious level whenever she was around us for him to have missed them.

I nodded. "Exactly. Well, she sometimes gets strong vibes about things, and she's always right! So, if she thinks something interesting is going to happen behind the gym after school, then she is most likely correct."

In biology, the teacher put on a movie. It was a boring one about cells that I had already seen in Phoenix, so I took advantage of the time to have a little fun with Edward. I looked over at him as soon as the teacher rolled the TV cart into the room. He gave me his crooked grin, and I knew he was operating on the same wavelength. As soon as the lights were out, we scooted our chairs together until our thighs were touching. He slipped his hand on my knee, and I slipped mine on his. He slowly started rubbing circles on the inside of my leg, and I copied his behavior. He clapped his legs together to stop my hand from moving, so I did the same. He smirked down at me, since my legs were not strong enough to stop his movement, but he had effectively trapped my hand between his.

"No fair!" I breathed, knowing he would hear me fine, but no one else in the class would.

"Someone once told me life isn't fair," he whispered directly into my ear. I shivered at the feel of his lips and cool breath on my ear. I dug my fingers into his leg, where he had my hand trapped and he chuckled.

"Release my hand!" I demanded under my breath.

"Sorry, beautiful, but I'm keeping it prisoner," he teased.

"That's kidnapping!" I protested, pretending to be upset.

"Actually, I think it's handnapping. Besides, the hand was trespassing."

"Your hand is trespassing!"

"Ah, but your traps are not as good as mine," he taunted, sliding his hand further up my leg, halfway between my knee and my private area, and resumed rubbing in circular patterns.

"Release my hand, or I'll call the cops," I mock threatened as my heart rate increased.

"Charlie's busy right now. If you want your hand back, you'll have to pay the ransom," he replied slyly. My imagination immediately went running wild.

"What's the ransom?" I asked, blushing heavily.

His grin took on an evil tilt as he waggled his eyebrows. "Do you agree to pay it?"

"I don't know what it is. I'm not agreeing to paying a ransom that I don't know what it is," I protested.

"Then I guess I'm keeping this hand," he murmured, squeezing it gently between his legs.

"Mine doesn't reattach so easily if you remove it," I griped.

"Who said anything about removing it?"

"So I guess you'll be going into the girls' bathroom with me then?" I arched a brow. Yeah, that'll be the day.

"What makes you think you'll be able to go anywhere?"

I growled very quietly in frustration. "I'm going to tell your mommy on you," I threatened. He laughed under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Is that the best you can do? Isn't that something a first grader would say?"

I mock punched him with my other hand, not wanting to injure myself. I knew another one that usually worked with first graders.

"I'll be your best friend…" I promised.

He looked at me in amused disbelief. "Alice would be so disappointed."

"C'mon," I whined, tugging on my hand. "I want it back. Don't make me throw a temper tantrum. I can regress even further, you know."

He started edging his hand higher on my thigh, subtly, like I might not notice.

"Are you ready to pay the ransom?" he asked, his velvet voice tickling my insides.

"What's the ransom?"

"If you give your word of honor to pay it, I'll tell you what it is on the way home. I'll release the hostage to you on my faith that you will keep your word."

This was insane! Who would take a deal like that? It would be like handing him a blank check. At least it was Edward and not Emmett. Making that kind of deal with Emmett would be tantamount to suicide. Did I trust Edward to make his prize a reasonable one? Did I trust him not to take advantage of me? I didn't like those questions. They made me insecure. I realized there was another way to look at it though. Truthfully, was there anything I wouldn't do for him if he asked me to do it? That one was pretty easy to answer. I would do anything for him, even if he did take advantage of the situation. That was my answer.

"Okay, Edward, I give you my word of honor to pay your ransom demand," I agreed resignedly.

He opened his legs just enough for me to withdraw my hand. "Muahaha, I've got you now, my pretty!"

"And my little dog too?" I asked, recognizing the line from the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz.

"Let's leave Jacob out of this, shall we?" he drawled.

I giggled. "I don't think he counts as a little dog. More like massively huge."

He smirked. "I know how to take your mind off of him," he tormented, brushing his knuckles against the crease in my jeans. I gasped and closed my legs tightly around his hand, but that only increased the sensation. I felt myself lubricating and saw him sniffing appreciatively, wearing his crooked smile. I got lost in his eyes and clutched his arm with my hands.

"What were we talking about?" he asked, lightly brushing his lips against mine.

"Hmmm?" I moaned, unable to concentrate. I shrugged. I was sure it wasn't important, whatever it was. He chuckled at my air of distraction.

Suddenly, he turned my head to face the television, put my hands on the table, withdrew his hand from between my thighs, put both of his hands on top of the table, and stared fixedly at the television. All of that only took a second or two. My mind was still whirling, trying to process what had happened, when I saw the teacher get up quietly and start to make a circuit of the classroom. He nodded approvingly at us as my eyes met his. He noted our proximity, but also saw both of our hands up on the table in plain view and smiled benignly.

He continued his patrol and caught another couple doing things similar to what we had been doing just moments before. They didn't have the advantage of mind reading on their side, so they were caught red handed and red cheeked. He sent them to the office with a referral of inappropriate PDA (public display of affection).

I breathed a sigh of relief that we weren't the ones making that walk of shame. I definitely didn't want to have to face Charlie if I ever got one of those.

"I knew there was some reason I wanted a mind reading super-fast vampire boyfriend," I teased. "Guess it does come in handy sometimes after all."

He grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. "Careful, my dear. It wouldn't be wise to provoke me before I collect my ransom."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

He chuckled again and whispered, "Don't stick it out unless you intend to use it."

Quick as a wink, I leaned over and licked his neck, following the lick with a love bite. He growled lightly in response to the sensation. Then he looked down at me with a superior expression and quipped, "Stop being such a pain in the neck."

"Bite me, batboy," I growled in response, hiding my amusement.

"Oh, I will," he promised seductively. "Believe me; I have every intention of fulfilling that request."

"Promises, promises," I snarked. He leaned over to me and snapped his teeth right below my ear.

"If you play with fire, expect to get burned," he warned.

"Well, I am a danger magnet," I replied saucily. "With no sense of self-preservation."

He grinned. "That you are, my dear, that you are."

A few minutes later, the bell rang and we headed off to our next class. Edward escorted me to the gym, as usual. He caressed my cheek and lightly pressed his lips to mine. "I look forward to seeing you after school. I hate to be parted from you, but you're always in my thoughts. Think of me too, love," he murmured against my lips. I returned his kiss with all the love in my heart. "I always do," I whispered as he took a step back. I watched him walk gracefully backwards to his class before slipping into the locker room to change into my gym uniform.

Poor Mike had a tough time of it when everyone saw his bare legs. Several of the guys whistled at him, making him blush. To his credit, he ignored everyone and tried to pretend there was nothing amiss. The PE teacher soon had everyone settled down and busy, and Mike got a temporary reprieve from the teasing.

As soon as gym let out, I took the back door out of the locker room. Edward was already there waiting. Alice and the others soon joined us, and Alice showed us where to stand. A few minutes later, Mike came out of the back door of the boys' locker room. Before he got more than ten feet away from the gym, another boy exited from the same door Mike had. His name was Shawn Adams, and his father was one of the local ministers. Shawn was quiet and reserved, but he was oddly feminine for someone 6'4" tall and 220 pounds. He looked like he ought to be on the football team, but he preferred the drama club. Mike was visibly upset by the difficult day he had today, and he didn't even notice Shawn behind him.

Shawn grabbed Mike before he reached the corner of the building and wrapped him in a hug. "Don't let them upset you, Mike. You have nothing to be ashamed of here. You should be proud of who you are. After all, it's not a choice, you're born this way. I'll help you through it."

Mike pulled back and looked up at Shawn in surprise. "Thanks, Shawn. At least somebody is on my side."

Shawn grinned at him, grabbed his face with both hands, and passionately kissed him. As soon as he let go, Mike stumbled backward in shock. His mouth was moving, but no sound came out. Shawn took the initiative again, and threw his arm around Mike's shoulders.

"Don't worry, Mikey. Anybody who wants to hurt you has to come through me first, and I don't let people mess with my boyfriend," Shawn promised. We could hear Mike's panicked whimpering, but he made no move to correct his protector. As soon as they were out of hearing distance, we all burst out laughing.

"Looks like Michelle has found herself a man!" Rosalie exclaimed with amusement. "Living proof that even ugly people can get dates."

"Well, we can't all be drop dead gorgeous like you are, Rose," I complained. "Besides, I think Edward and I already prove that theory."

"Yeah, Edward is pretty ugly, at least compared to me," Emmett teased.

"Why, Bella, I feel quite insulted. Who knew you secretly considered me ugly?" Edward continued.

"Get real!" I protested. "Obviously, I am the plain one."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, it isn't working," Edward grumbled. "We all know you're the beauty, so I guess that makes me the beast."

I shook my head. He was so silly sometimes. "Fine, you're the beast. You do realize that as soon as the girl loved him he turned into a handsome prince, right?"

He grinned. "I thought it was when she said she loved him and then gave him a kiss. Maybe you should try that." Before I could agree, Alice interrupted our banter.

"Yes, he has been a veritable beast for a long time, but ever since he met you, he's gradually becoming human again. Way to go, sis, for taming the wild and savage beast."

We all snickered at that as Edward gave a bow to his sister. "Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. No, really, thank you, thank you." He was really hamming it up. Emmett was watching him in awe.

"Dude, I never realized you actually have a sense of humor! Where on earth have you been hiding it?"

On that note, we all left to go home. Angela and Ben stopped to thank Alice for the show. "I wouldn't have wanted to miss it!" Angela admitted with a twinkle in her eye. On her way to her car, she gave Jessica a Cheshire grin, reveling in the knowledge that she had a juicy tidbit of gossip that Jessica would have killed to get her hands on, but that she had no intention of sharing with her. Jessica stared after her with a frown, wondering what Angela knew that she didn't. She looked at us and our smirks and knew we knew something interesting and newsworthy, but that we didn't intend to tell her. She nearly tore her hair out in frustration. Ahhh, the pleasures of being a Cullen.