Prevail

Bumaba kami ni Zul sa sasakyan niya kasama si Raki as my eyes glued in the big facility before us. The sprawling compound was abuzz with activity. The air filled with the sounds of barking dogs and the soft mewing of cats. Napalunok ako at dahan-dahang lumapit sa entrance.  Nang malingunan ako ng mga staffs, they froze in their tracks as their expressions a mixture of shock.

"M-Ma'am Dorothy?" manghang tawag nila sa akin.

Kahit hindi ko na matandaan ang mga pangalan nila ay hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga hitsura nila. When I smiled and nodded, kaagad silang naging emotional habang nakatitig sa akin. Nag-uunahan pa ang iba sa pagtakbo palabas ng facility para lang makakasiguro kung ako ba talaga itong Dorothy na may-ari ng facility.

Kahit ako, hindi ko inaakalang ako nga ang may-ari ng pasilidad na 'to.

"S-Si Ma'am Dorothy nga! Ma'am namiss ka po namin!"

"Oo, Ma'am. Pati rin po ng mga alaga mong mga aso!"

When they realized I wasn't alone, mas nagsilaglagan ang mga panga nila sa nakitang kasama kong nakatayo sa tabi ko. Ipinulupot ni Zul ang braso nita sa baywang ko at magaang hinarap ang mga staffs.

The sight of me and Zul, was an unexpected surprise of them. Our presence stirred up a wave of emotions among the staff members, who had missed us dearly.

"K-Kamusta kayo?" naluluha kong tanong nila.

Isa-isa silang nagsihikbian na ikinatawa ko ng bahagya. Dahan-dahan akong kumalas kay Zul para makalapit sa kanila. We made a group hug as I can feel their longiness on me. Nagkatunog ang iyak ko nang magsihagulholan sila. Their love and support never failed me to be drawn multiple times.

"A-Akala namin, Ma'am tuluyan mo na kaming makakalimutan," humihikbi nilang sabi.

Umiling ako sabay palis sa mga luha. "H-Hindi...Hindi puwede."

My gaze fell upon the signage above the entrance. "Raki's Shelter". The words etched in bold letters. A lump formed in my throat as I read the signage---a name that held so much significance for me. Memories of Raki, my faithful dog, and the countless animals we had rescued together, came flooding back.

"Hindi puwedeng makakalimutan ko ito," bulong ko habang nakatitig pa rin sa signage.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the extent of what I had forgotten due to my amnesia. Nakalimutan ko ang mga importanteng tao sa buhay ko, mga minahal ko, at trabaho. Pati ang mga bagay na gusto kong ginagawa  that held a special place in her heart. The realization was a painful reminder of the impact of my condition. Nakakatakot.

Zul, standing beside me, offered a comforting hand on me again. Akmang hahawakan ko nang hinapit niya nalang ako ulit sabay halik sa sentido ko.

"I love you so much, Dorothy," bulong niya.

I turned my head to look at him closely as I smiled. Parehas pa kaming hindi bihis at dumeretso muna rito sa shelter bago uuwi. I am still in my bridesmaid gown habang siya naman ay sout ang Jubbah. Hindi ko pa siya naitanong kung paano na 'yong hindi niya sinipot na seremonya.

Habang nagkatitigan kami, all I can see in his eyes is understanding, support, love, and patience. A kind of patience that limitless. He understood the turmoil I was going through, and his presence was a source of comfort for me.

Nang tuluyan na kaming pumasok sa pasilidaf ay binati pa kami ng ibang mga staffs. Nagulat din akong may mga Vets na nag-aasikaso sa mga iilang aso. I really did it!

Despite the challenges and the forgotten memories, I knew that I was home. This was a place where I belonged, a place that reminded me of my love for animals and my commitment to this kind of welfare. It was a painful yet beautiful reminder of the life I had once lived and the memories I was determined to reclaim. And I am glad I am back.

"Masaya akong makitang masaya ka."

Nilingon ko si Zul na ngayon ay akay si Pandi at Elias. The dogs barked at me as they wiggled their tails excitedly. I chuckled and kneeled to reach them. Kaagad din namang dumalo sa amin si Raki para makisali sa pagtitipon.

"Mas naging masaya ako nang suportahan mo ako rito," I whispered lovingly.

He just smile and patted my head. Ngumuso ako sa ginawa niya. Kahit kailan ka talaga, Zul.

Zul pulled the car to a stop in front of our house. Pansin kong wala na rin ang araw at malamig na ang simoy ng hangin. The engine humming softly as we sat in silence for a moment. Our eyes met, filled with a mixture of determination and assurance.

"Dito ka lang sa bahay ninyo" he said, his voice filled with conviction. "I will fix everything about us."

I sighed and shook my head. I reached out and gently placed my hand on Zul's, "No, Zul," sagot ko, my voice steady. "W-W...we will fix everything. Together."

Zul licked his lips before he smiled a bit as a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss on my forehead as I can feel the silent promise of support and love.

"We..." pag-uulit niya.

I leveled his smiles and nodded. "Tayo, Zul. Hind na kita iiwan sa laban na ito. Sigurado ako. Hindi na kita pababayaan..."

His jaw moved and bowed his head a bit. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, marahan din niyang ipinikit ang mga mata. I even heard an inaudible murmurs from him.

"Ya Allah, I am so sure about this woman sitting besides me."

"Ano?"

He finally lifted his head and leaned closer to me. "I was asking Allah to grant my Dua everytime you made my heart flatter, in glee, and in peace."

My cheeks burned. "D-Dua?"

Maraham siyang tumango habang hindi niya ako nilulubayan sa kanyang mga titig. "Prayers..."

With those unspoken words hanging in the air, I am so sure as well about Zul. From the moment we lose the deal, it turned out to each other both arms now.

Bumaba na ako at tahimik na hinatid ng tingin ang sasakyan ni Zul na papalayo. Nang mawala na ito sa paningin ko ay humarap na ako sa gate. The cool evening breeze brushed against my face as I opened the gate. Una na ring pumasok si Raki at deretso itong tumakbo sa loob ng bahay.

Papalapit pa lang ko sa bahay ay naririnig ko na ang boses ni Mama na parang nagwawala. Dali-dali akong pumasok para malaman kung anong nangyayari. Parang kararating lang ni Mama at pabalik-balik ito sa nilalakaran niya.

"M-Mama..." Mahinang tawag ko sa ina.

She stopped in her tracks, turning her face with a mix of anger and sadness. Galit siyang nag martsa sa akin. She even looked at me from my head to toe. I gulped.

"Where have you been?!" Mama mother asked, her voice filled with frustration.

Nanindig ang balahibo ko habang nakatitig kay Mama. There's even a shed of tears in her eyes yet they are burning because of anger. Parang kulang nalang ay sasaktan ako ni Mama. I struggled to find the right words to respond. I knew that Mama wouldn't understand the truth, no matter how much I will to explain. Kailangan kong huminahon.

"Ano? Sagutin mo ako, Dorothy Maeve Andino! Ano, pupunta ka raw ng Japan? Para ano? Makipag tanan kay Zul?!" Mama's voice escalated, tears streaming down her face as well.

"Bakit? Nilason niya rin ba ng tuluyan ang utak mo para maalala mo siya? Tell me!"

Hindi ako makapaniwalang napatitig sa pinakamamahal kong Ina. Hindi ko na siya maiiintidihan. Parang kailan lang kulang nalang ay angkinin na niya si Zul bilang anak, and now she is talking Zul like it was the most ill people of the world?

Nagsilaglagan ang mga luha ko sabay iling nang paulit-ulit. "N-no, Mama. Hindi totoo 'yan!" Even in a trembling voice, I managed to defend Zul.

"Then why the hell are you with him? Nakalimutan mo na ba nang tuluyan ang sarili mong relihiyon, huh? Ganoon ba? Hindi ka na nakikinig sa akin, Dorothy! You are now rebelding just to be with him?" diing sabi ni Mama habang naglakad ng mas malapit sa akin.

I shook my head and bit my lower lip. Hindi ko na alam paano pa ako makapagpaliwanag. This is my mother. My only family. Then we are arguing to a person who I loved dearly as well! Damn this!

"What did he promise you, huh? Anong ipinangako niya sa 'yo? A wedding? An eternity? Forever?!" Mama voice cracked more with anguish.

"M-Mama..." I stammered, my voice barely audible amidst the turmoil and I couldn't find my voice anymore.

"Mga ganoong kataga, itatak mo sa kukote mo na hanggang salita lang 'yon sa kanila. That's a total trash you will ever receive from a Muslim man—a Rabbani! Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Dorothy?! Si Aqil at Zul walang ipinagkaiba! Liars and traitors!"

My mother's words pierced in my heart, leaving me feeling torn between my love for Zul and my desire to mend my relationship with Mama. Wala akong magawa kung hindi panay iling at iyak.

"Y-You really don't know how Aqil ruined my life. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kapag magkaka-anak silang dalawa ni Far ay pati ang mga anak nila ay idadamay ko sa galit, sakit, at puot ko. Pero hindi ko magawa. Bakit?"

Mama held her chin up as she let her tears rolled on her cheeks. "Dahil hindi ako katulad nilang makasarili, ganid, mapangahas, at kasuka-suka ang mga pag-uugali"

"Hindi ko kailanman dinamay ang mga anak ni Aqil, Dorothy. Not until Zul put you in a situation that trigger me---"

"W-Walang kasalanan si Zul, Mama..."

"Nabubulag ka na ng lintik na pagmamahal na 'yan! Na kahit may kinalaman sila ay jina-justify mo pa rin! Look at you? Noong ni isa sa kanila ay wala kang maalala, you are living at peace!"

"A peace that is not real nor genuine, Mama! Iyon ba ang gusto mong buhay para sa akin?! Mamuhay sa mundong pinapaniwala ko ang sariling masaya ako at nalagay na sa payapa?" I bursted. Mama's eyes widened in fraction. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa sinabi ko o dahil sa agarang pagtaas ng boses ko.

"I love Zul so much, Mama and he loved me, too..." I pleaded. "He let me do things that different to them. He consider and respect our indifferences. He listen, he...never give up."

"If his father left you with other woman, Mama. Zul left his arrange bride just to be with me. They are different," bulong ko just enough my mother heard it as her tears burst more silently.

"P-Please, Mama..." nanginginig kong sinabi. I bowed my head as I slowly dropped my knees desperately. Wala na akong maisip na ibang paraan para pakinggan niya ako. Wala akong ideya kung ano pa ang mga bagay ang tungkol sa kanila ni Datu Aqil noon. Hindi ko muna iyon iisipin. I know Mama's anger towards him was valid, pero ang madamay kami ni Zul? Hindi. Hindi dapat ganito.

Mama gasped and held my both shoulders.

"R-Riri, anong ginagawa mo?!" she said and shook my shoulders.

"P-Please, Mama give Zul a chance. Give us another chance," I begged. My heart is aching and felt so heavy. Hinayaan kong magsilandasan ang mga luha ko sabay tingala kay Mama.

"The kind of peace and love he gave to me, I want you to feel it, too. P-Please give him a chance, Mama so that you will know why I loved this man so much."

Parehas kami ni Mama na saglit na nagkatitigan habang may luha pa sa mga mata. My heartfelt plea hung in the air, as I desperately hoped Mama would understand. Mama face softened slightly, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and uncertainty. She took a deep breath, trying to compose something emotions.

"I...I can't promise anything, Riri," Mama replied, her voice wavering with a hint of vulnerability. "P-Pero kung saan ka masaya, siguro subukan kong intindihin ang gusto mong mangyari."

My heart swelled with a glimmer of hope, grateful that my mother was at least willing to consider my perspective. Kaagad akong tumayo sabay tango habang may panibagong luha na naman ang nagsipatakan. Kaagad kong niyakap si Maka nang mahigpit.

"Thank you, Mama," I whispered, my voice filled with gratitude. "S-Salamat sa lahat. Naiintindihan din kita..."

Mama sobbed and hugged me tightly. I know right in this moment even it slowly! a fragile bridge of understanding began to form between us. It would take time and effort to mend the wounds and rebuild the trust, but I held onto the hope that love and patience would prevail in the end.

"I-I love you so much, Mama..." I whispered.