Enough

I arrived at the Department of Agriculture's event for farmers, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation. I was an agricultural economist, and events like this were always a chance for me to connect with the people I was working to help. I greeted colleagues and farmers alike, feeling a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose.

"This way, Ma'am," salubong sa akin ni Key.

Tipid ko siyang tinanguhan at sinundan ang kan'yang lakad. As I made my way through the crowd, I noticed a group of soldiers standing guard at the perimeter of the event. They looked stern and focused, their eyes scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble.

Napako ang tingin ko sa isang sundalo. He was tall and muscular, with short-cropped hair and a serious expression. Tumikhim ako at kaagad iniwas ang tingin nang tumingin ito sa gawi ko.

"Here's your sit, Ma'am."

"Thank you, Key."

Umupo na ako at binati pabalik ang mga importanteng taong nagsi batian sa akin. Nang matapos ang mga kamustahan ay hindi ko na namalayan ang sarili na unti-unti ko na namang nilingon ang na sa bandang kanan kung saan nakita ko 'yong lalaki kanina.

I felt like I knew him from somewhere, but I just couldn't quite place him. Bumuntong hininga ako at uminom nalang ng tubig.

Maraming mga kilalang tao ang dumalo sa event na 'to lalo na 'yong mga taong may mga kanya-kanyang lupa at papananim o hindi naman ay fish pond. Hindi lang kasi pagtatanim ang agrilultura. With this event, mas maraming mga magsasaka ang lalawak ang kaalaman at pag-uunawa patungkol sa agrikultura.

"Riri..."

Nilingon ko si Engineer Mafutyr. "Bakit?"

He stared at me for a seconds. "Wala. Naninibago lang ako."

I felt sorry for everyone I couldn't remember. Mabuti nalang at pinagpasenyahan nila ako at naiintindihan ang naging kalagayan. Hindi ko rin ito ginusto...ang makalimutan sila.

"Just do not force and push yourself too much, Dorothy. Marami pang umaasang maaalala mo..."

I smiled ang nodded. "I know. Thank you for the patience."

Nang matapos ang event ay nag picture pa kami kasama ang mga kilalang tao sa DA. Them, having me is like they are very used to it and comfortable. Samantalang ako rito ay hindi ko alam ang gagawin at sasabihin kapag may gustong makipag halubilo sa akin.

"Miss Andino, kay Engineer nalang po kayo sumabay dahil siya lang naman sa kotse niya. Baka po kasi hindi ka magiging komportable sa van gayong---"

"Sige, Key. Paki sabi kay Engineer. Mauuna na ako sa labas..."

Pa labas na ako nang makita ko na naman iyong lalaki. I don't know if feeling longin and missing is a part of me as I looked at him. Even in a brief eye contact we shared, parang nakikipag karerahan na ang puso ko.

Nang malapit na ako sa exit ay hindi ko na napigilan. Kahit kinakabahan ay nilapitan ko na siya as I approached him tentatively, hoping that he would give me a clue.

"Excuse me," I said, smiling. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you look very familiar to me. Have we met before?"

The soldier looked at me for a moment, his expression is unreadable.  "I don't think so, ma'am," he said coldly. "I'm just a soldier doing my duty."

Dahan-dahan akong napatango---feeling a sense of disappointment. I must have been mistaken. "Oh, okay,"  sagot ko nalang sabay tango.

"Well, thank you for your service. It's good to know we have such dedicated soldiers keeping us safe."

The soldier nodded as his eyes scanning the crowd once more. "Thank you, ma'am," tipid nitong sagot at hindi na ako inabalang tingnan. "It's an honor to serve."

I turned away, feeling a sense of unease. I still felt like I knew him from somewhere, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Nang paalis na ako ay biglang sumakit nang sumakit ang ulo ko. Napahawak ako sa semento at diin kong ipinikit ang mga mata. The pain subsided quickly, but I felt disoriented and confused. I wondered if my accident had caused more damage than I had realized.

When I tumbled forward, feeling like I was about to collapse, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist, holding me up. When I looked up, and saw that it him, It wasn't my head who's hurt anymore. Gulat akong kumirot ang puso ko sa hindi ko alam ang kadahilanan.

He was holding me steady ad his face etched with concern "Are you okay, ma'am?" he asked, his voice is low and urgent.

I tried to speak, but my words came out slurred and garbled. I felt like I was losing consciousness. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin na ikinagulat ko.

"Riri!" isang nag-aalalang boses ang tumawag sa akin.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" dalo sa akin ni Engineer at kaagad akong sinikop.

Kung hindi pa 'yon ginawa ni Engineer ay hindi pa siguro ako mabitawan nitong makisig na sundalo. Namula ang magkabila kong pisngi kaya agad akong umayos nang bumuti-buti na ang pakiramdam ko.

"M-Medyo nahilo lang. Tara na..."

"Maraming salamat po, Commander," Engineer thank that man with so much composure and respect.

"Mag-ingat kayo pauwi," he casually uttered but it's like a command to me.

I wondered if I had imagined the whole thing. I shook my head, feeling like I was losing my grip on reality.

"Dito ka muna, Riri. Medyo na sa distansya ko ni park ang sasakyan ko "

"Sige."

As I made my way to a nearby bench, I felt a sense of fear and confusion. I wondered if my accident had caused more damage than I had realized. I wondered if I was losing my mind. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. I needed to get help, but I didn't know who to turn to.

Natigilan ako. Hindi ba't siya iyong lalaking kasama ni Mama no'ng una kong gising sa hospital?

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. My head pounding and my thoughts a jumbled mess. I tried to remember how I got here, but everything was a blur. I could barely remember anything. Anong nangyari?

I closed my eyes, trying to focus---trying to remember. But all that came to me were fragments of memories was like pieces of a shattered mirror.

Na sa gano'n akong kalagayan nang biglang sumagi sa utak ko ang mga kaganapan ko no'ng high school pa lang ako. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko nang bigla itong sumakit. Unti-unting may namumuong pawis sa noo ko as the memories back in my teen ages days walking down the familiar halls, laughing with my friends and chatting beside me.

I remembered the feeling of my backpack on my shoulders, the smell of the cafeteria food, the sound of the bell ringing at the end of the day. And the sound of the ignition of my Mio.

But when I tried to remember anything beyond that, everything was blurry. It was as if my life after high school had been erased, replaced by a foggy void. I felt a wave of panic wash over me. Bakit wala na akong maalala? Anong nangyari sa akin?

But no matter how hard I tried, I could only remember my high school days. Everything else was lost in a haze of confusion and fear. Habang wala akong ka alam-alam at lutang pa sa lahat, nakaramdam ako ng pag-alala lalo na at ako lang mag-isa rito. I am alone and scared, and just clung to those high school memories 'cause they were the only thing that felt real, the only thing that made sense. And for now, they were all I had.

When I tried to force myself, I felt dizziness until I passedvout again.

I opened my eyes, blinking in the harsh fluorescent light. I looked around, trying to make sense of my surroundings. The room was small and sterile, with white walls and a single window. I could even hear the beeping of machines and the soft murmur of voices in the hallway.

Ngayon, napagtanto kong na sa hospital pala ako.

As I tried to sit up, a sharp pain shot through my head. Napangiwi ako. Nagising naman ako kanina pero parang wala akong naramdan. Ngayon, sobrang dami nang masakit sa akin at hindi ko na alam kung saan ang una kong kakapain. I reached up to touch my temple, feeling a bandage wrapped tightly around my head.

I tried to remember how I had gotten here, but still my memory was still hazy, like a dream I couldn't quite grasp. I looked down at my body, seeing the hospital gown and the IV tube snaking into my arm. I felt vulnerable and exposed, like a specimen in a laboratory. I tried to push the feeling away, focusing instead on the details of the room.

Nalingunan ko ang side table. May mga preskong bulaklak at mga prutas doon. May mga cards pang maingat na nakapatong doon. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of it, feeling a wave of nausea wash over me. I wondered how long I had been here, how much time had passed while I was lost in my own mind.

Na sa ganoon akong ayos nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan. I turned my head and saw two figures standing in the doorway. One was a woman with familiar features, her face etched with worry.

"Riri, anak!" tawag ng umiiyak na may edad na babae at kaagad itong dumalo sa akin.

I recognized her as my mother, though I felt a strange detachment, as if I were looking at a stranger. Mabuti nalang at hindi pa pala ako tuluyang nasisiraan ng ulo.

"M-Mama," parang nagdadalawa pa ako sa pagtawag sa kan'ya.

"A-Anak, kamusta ang nararamdaman mo? May masakit ba sa 'yo, nagugutom ka ba? Nauuhaw?"

Tipid kong inilingan ang ina. Nilipat ko ang mga mata sa lalaking nakatayo malapit sa pintuan. His face vaguely familiar but his name escaping me. I squinted, trying to place him. His eyes were filled with concern even it was dark and intense.

I could tell we had a history, but the details were lost in the foggy recesses of my mind. Ka ano-ano ko ba 'to? Ka trabaho ba? Pinsan?

"Riri, how are you feeling?" Mama asked as her voicebwere trembling slightly.

"M-Maayos naman po. Hindi na masyadong masakit ang katawan ko at ang ulo ko..."

The man simply watched me as his expression unreadable. Hindi ko alam pero parang mas nag-alala ako na hindi ko matandaan kung sino ang taong kasama ni Mama ngayon.

"M-Mama, sino po iyang kasama n'yo?" I asked innocently.

Umawang ang bibig ni Mama sabay lingon sa lalaking na sa likuran niya. If I wasn't mistaken, the reaction of that man kinda bother me. It's like he is...hurt. Pero saglit lang 'yon dahil biglang napalitan ng lamig at dilim ang mga mata niya.

"T-Tatawag muna ako ng Doctor," paalam ni Mama at tumayo na.

Tinanguhan ko si Mama at saglit na natulala na naman. I was trapped in a body that didn't feel like me, in a life I couldn't remember. Na aksidente ba ako at nagka amnesia? But as I looked at the familiar stranger---standing and just quietly looking at me,  I knew I wasn't alone in my struggle. And for the moment, that was enough just by looking at...him.