Chapter Ten:

The first time I was pulled from under the darkness, it didn't last long.

The first thing I saw was Kat, my head in her lap. Her eyes were closed and her mouth speaking a foreign language. She was chanting.

Soon after my eyelids pried open, her dark green eyes met mine. She smiled weakly at me and told me it was going to be okay. That she was healing me.

Once I let my eyes drift away from hers, I recognized the familiarity of the limousine. I was laid across the back seat, my legs draped across Lili's vacant seat. I had wanted to ask where she was, but I couldn't talk.

Niki and Emiliya were sitting across from us, both witches on their phone. Niki glanced at me and gave me a reassuring look. Emiliya didn't spare me a glance.

My head was pounding and my face ached and throbbed. My sweater clung to me and was still damp with blood. I wanted to peel it off, but if I couldn't talk, I sure couldn't move.

When I looked back at Kat, she must have seen the pain and fear on my face. She automatically reassured me.

"You're gonna be okay, Kendall. I promise. I'm healing you. Your head was almost completely bashed in. It's taking me a while, but you'll be fine. I'm gonna put you back to sleep now, okay? It's easier to heal you when you're unconscious."

I wanted to nod, but since I couldn't move, I just laid still and let her work. Her hand, which had been running through my bloody, tangled curls, rested on my forehead. She closed her eyes again and started chanting. She was more effective than anesthesia, because I was out within seconds.

The second time I came to, I saw the face of my brother. He was carrying me through the castle, one of my arms thrown around his neck and the other was hanging limply. It felt heavy and I couldn't lift it if I tried. My head had been hanging backwards at an uncomfortable angle, and luckily I managed to roll it just enough to rest against his chest. I felt him press a chaste kiss on my forehead, which was soon replaced by a hand. It definitely wasn't his since he was carrying me.

Darkness greeted me once again.

That led me to the third and final time I woke up.

A groan of pain and discomfort escaped my lips before I could even pry my eyes open. My mouth was dry and felt like it was filled with cotton. My head ached with an intensity far greater than any I've ever felt before.

As I lifted my arm to massage my temples, I was grateful to realize that I had full control of my limbs once again.

I wanted to fall back to sleep, but my bladder screamed at me to get up. I groaned again and finally peeled my eyes open.

I was in my room in the castle. It was dark, no source of light, not even from the moon. From the window, I could tell it was the dead of night and dark clouds covered the moon and stars. It was quiet too. I couldn't hear anything, although that didn't say much because my senses seemed dulled.

I sat up slowly, letting myself adjust to the movements as a wave of dizziness swept over me. Once it passed, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I was thankful that instead of my blood saturated clothes, I was now dressed in a t-shirt and shorts.

When I finally got my bearings, I made a move to stand up. Before I could though, a low growl vibrated the bed behind me, stopping me in my tracks.

What the hell?

I gulped, my back now ramrod straight. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around. I couldn't make out much, but I could see the outline of a wolf... a freaking huge wolf at that. Whoever it was, took up half of the king sized bed. How had I not noticed him before?

I sat there for a minute, waiting to see if he would make a move. When he didn't, I slowly reached for the lamp on the bedside table. He didn't try to attack me, so I turned it on.

Once the room was filled with a yellow glow of the artificial light, I could take him in more clearly.

He was a dark brown, almost black, colored wolf. He was bigger than any I've ever seen, even my Dad and brothers. As I looked into his glowing amber eyes, which were looking me up and down, seeming to survey my body, I realized that there was only one person this magnificent creature could belong to. It was King Finnian.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Why in the hell would he be in my bed? In wolf form, nonetheless? He didn't get to suddenly act like he cared just because I got hurt.

I sighed in annoyance and stood up. He growled lowly at me, causing me to spin around and glare at him.

"I have to pee, you asshole. Back off. Better yet, leave." I snapped.

He growled again, but I ignored him and walked into the bathroom. After relieving my bladder and washing my hands, I was able to take in the damage, which wasn't bad.

Other than a few spots in my hair, all the blood was cleaned off my body. I needed to shower, but I'd do that in the morning after a few more hours of sleep.

My wounds weren't nearly as bad as they would have been had Kat not healed me. My headache was dull by this point, showing that she had focused most of her energy on the back of my head. My shoulder, which I knew had been dislocated, felt fine now, as did my ribs and most of my face.

Although Kat was powerful, she wasn't a miracle worker. Witches could heal people, but the worse the injuries, the longer it took. I'm sure Kat had worked on me the whole drive home and possibly even after that. She did a damn good job in the time frame considering my injuries. Had I not been healed, I possibly could have died considering how many times my skull had been slammed into the ground.

The only injuries that remained were a split in my lower lip, a cut on my right cheek, and bruising dotted randomly around my face. All that would heal over on its own in a day or two.

I'm sure Kat was drained and sleeping soundly by now, but I made a mental note to do something special for her to thank her.

I flipped off the light and walked back in the bedroom. I expected it to be empty, but I was surprised when I saw King Finnian sitting on the edge of my bed, completely butt naked. His elbows rested on his thighs and his head rested in his hands, obscuring his face from my vision. I forced my eyes to stay up and not linger on his lower body. I held onto my anger to do this.

And lord knows I had plenty of that particular emotion.

I was angry at King Finnian for being such a colossal disappointment for a mate. I was angry at my dad for sending me here. I was angry at those assholes in the woods, for threatening me and my mate and for getting the jump on me like they did. I was trained better than that. Hell, I was even angry with Selena for not being more mature so that she could have come instead of me.

Most of all though, I was angry with myself. I was angry for letting everything get to me. I was angry that I wasn't as strong as I always thought I was. I wasn't strong enough to handle this and I hated myself for that. I let the bitter fury rush through my veins, effectively distracting me from his nakedness.

"What the fuck are you doing here, King Finnian? You rejected me, you don't have the right to just show up whenever the fuck you want." I crossed my arms over my chest and prepared for a verbal confrontation.

I didn't get that though. Instead, he stayed as he was, holding his head in his hands. After a few seconds, he ran his fingers through his hair roughly, tugging harshly at the dark strands. He still didn't look at me.

"What do you want from me?" My voice lacked any emotion, except for maybe exhaustion. I was tired of this.

Suddenly his face snapped up, finally meeting my gaze. He eyes burned golden as he looked at me intensely. I swallowed harshly at the emotions playing across his face. I was surprised by the one that stuck out the most. Fear.

"It was my fault that you were hurt." He rumbled out. His voice was low and gravelly, like he was still on the verge of shifting.

"You weren't even there, your highness. I don't know why you think that." I said, somewhat coldly.

If I was being honest with myself, I wanted nothing more than to run to him and comfort him. I hated seeing him look this way. But I couldn't make myself do it. I couldn't give in to him, just so he could crush me all over again. So I held on to my anger like it was a lifeline.

"I should have anticipated this. I should have sent guards." He mumbled, more to himself it seemed than me.

"I can take care of myself just fine."

His eyes, which had drifted over to the wall, snapped back to me, anger burning it the gold depths. "Obviously, you can't."

My hackles raised, all thoughts of comforting him long gone.

"I killed them both, didn't I?" I asked rhetorically.

"After you were almost killed in the process." He sneered. He stood up and made his way towards me, like a predator stalking its prey. I was no prey though. "The only reason you weren't was because Niki realized that you foolishly pursued them alone and was able to save you in time."

"Listen here, you fucker. I didn't need her help. I would've been fine without it."

"Oh yeah? Was that before or after he finished smashing your skull in?"

"Maybe I should smash yours in and see what you think?" I threatened, although I could never physically hurt him. Not only would I never be able to get the jump on him, but my wolf side wouldn't allow it.

"Don't make threats you can't follow through on, mate."

"Who says I can't?" I ground out, fury shaking my body. He was making me sound like I was incompetent at defending myself. It was insulting.

"I'm sure the witch that healed you can attest to that."

Suddenly, I snapped. My inability to hurt him lifted and all I wanted was to punch his stupid, smug, assholeish face.

I let out a frustrated cry and ran at him. I tried to use my momentum to knock him over, but he didn't even seem fazed. My need for his blood grew.

I raised my fist to smash against his face, but he grabbed it and twisted it behind my back before I could. His hold wasn't painful, but it was firm.

I lifted my knee, aiming between his thighs. He grabbed it and pinned it to his side, leaving me hopping around on one leg. I half groaned half screamed in frustration.

I threw my weight backwards, trying to release myself from his grasp. He let me go, but only after he knew I wasn't going to tumble backwards onto the cold, hard floor.

I ran at him again, faster this time.

Before I could do anything or even comprehend what had gone wrong, we were suddenly on the bed. He was completely on top of me. His legs had mine pinned down and he held my arms above my head. I wiggled around, trying to get away from him, but he had me completely immobilized.

I tried the last thing I could think of. I slammed my head forwards. He moved at the very last second, right before my forehead made contact with his nose.

"Enough, Kendall!" He boomed.

My eyes widened in surprise. That was the first time he called me by my first name.

"You're going to hurt yourself. I'm not going to let you get hurt again." He glared down at me.

"Don't try to act like you care now. I can see right through your bullshit." I mumbled bitterly.

He sighed heavily and let me go. He got off the bed and looked down at me. He was completely naked during our tussle.

"You can think whatever you want, but I promise I will never let anything like that happen again. Whether you can protect yourself or not is highly debatable, but I won't ever take any chances." He glared down at me.

My emotions were so mixed by his words, I didn't even know how to feel anymore. This man was an enigma. I don't think I'll ever figure him out.

"Now get some rest." He stated gruffly. "And take it easy, for God's sake. Don't make come show you again how easily I can subdue you."

"Fuck you."

"Goodnight to you too, mate." He smirked as he walked away. He clicked off the lamp on his way and stopped in the door way. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it. He sighed once more, then left, leaving me in my room alone and pissed off.

I fought sleep after he left. I was tired, but I was so angry at him, that I wanted to defy him in any way I could. He told me to sleep, so I tried as hard as I could not to. I was still healing, so it didn't take long for my defiance, like my consciousness, to slip away.

****************************

When I woke up again, I was alone. The sun was bright against my face, its rays streaming in through the window, bathing the room and me in its light.

I felt way better this time. My head didn't ache a bit and my face had stopped throbbing. I grazed the cut on my cheek with my fingers, feeling the scab forming on top of it. 

I flung the thick blanket off of me and shivered when I felt a rush of cold air attack my exposed skin like tiny little needles. The sunshine had created a false pretense of warmth, but it was just that. A pretense. Deception. It was cold as balls in here.

I glanced over at the clock as I ran my fingers through my hair. It was just after one o' clock. As my fingers caught in my hair, the dried blood making it tangled and ratty, I decided the first thing on my to do list was a long, hot shower.

Once in the bathroom, I let the water warm up until steam started to fill the room. When it was hot enough to all but melt my skin off, I stepped in.

I didn't usually take such hot showers, even when I was cold, but for some reason I felt the need to today. I had been covered in blood yesterday. To be more specific, I had been covered in the blood of the wolf that I killed. I knew it was kill or be killed, but it didn't sit right with me. The thought of taking someone's life... I gulped painfully at the thought. What about their families? Had I taken someone's son, mate, or father away?

I couldn't bear the thought, so instead I tried to scrub away all evidence of the harsh reality I was now living with. I was a killer.

I let the nearly boiling water purify my skin and I scrubbed my body until it felt raw, my skin red with the harshness of the strokes of my loofah.

I had to wash my hair three times to get all the blood out. Once I caused my own blood to mix in from how hard I was scratching and scrubbing at my scalp, I decided I was doing more harm than good. The conditioner burned against the cuts on my scalp, so I washed it out quicker than usual.

After about an hour, I finally deemed myself clean. I pushed away the thoughts of killing two people, and instead focused on my growling stomach. I had been asleep for the majority of the last twenty four hours. I hadn't eaten in nearly that long. I usually couldn't go more than five hours, if that, without eating, so I knew I needed to remedy the problem.

I dried off quickly and threw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a long sleeved t-shirt.I braided my hair into two french braids and left the bathroom, intending on making my way to the kitchen, but it wasn't necessary. Kat was sitting on the couch, a tray of food on the coffee table in front of her. I couldn't see what exactly was on it, but when I inhaled deeply, I smelled the delicious scent of French toast and bacon.

Before I could reach it, Kat stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. I returned the gesture. When she pulled away, I could see dark circles hanging under her eyes, hinting at just how drained she had been from healing me. She looked well rested, just tired... if that made sense.

"You scared the shit out of me, Kendall. Out of everyone." She reprimanded. She looked the over again, inspecting her work.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare anyone."

"I'd lecture you about how stupid it was to go out there alone, but I know you'll get plenty of that from everyone else. You're in for quite the phone call after breakfast."

I groaned. I didn't feel like dealing with my family.

"You should really be eternally grateful to me. Matt wanted to come in here with me. I told him to give you a chance to eat before everyone jumped down your throat." She sounded slightly amused.

I looked at her seriously. "I am grateful, Kat. Thank you." She knew I didn't mean for keeping Matt at bay. Her playful face sobered.

"Any time, Kendall. You're my best friend and my sister. I'll always be there when you need me."

I pulled her into another quick hug before pulling away.

"Okay, I love you and all, but enough of this sappiness. Fill me in on everything that happened while I eat?"

She nodded and we both sat down. I tucked my cold feet under my thighs and pulled the food tray on my lap.

"Thanks for bringing this to me, by the way. You didn't have to do that." I told her as I cut into the French toast. I brought a piece of the delicious cinnamon and syrup covered goodness to my mouth, nearly moaning in appreciation as my stomach all but thanked me.

"I wanted to. I asked one of the castle chefs to make it for you and bring it to me when he was done."

"You want some?"

"No, thanks." She declined. "I ate with Matt a couple hours ago."

"So what went down after my spontaneous nap?" I asked between bites.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning. Well, after a few minutes, Niki and I both started to notice you weren't close by. Niki told Lili to wait inside and pay, so that we didn't cause a scene or draw attention to ourselves. Niki, Emiliya, and I went outside to look for you."

I gulped down the bacon in my mouth, remembering how they had found me. Next to a dead body, with someone straddling me and beating my head into the ground.

"I freaked out as soon I saw you. Niki didn't even have time to react as fast as I did."

"You're the one who caused him pain." I stated. "I was so out of it, all I knew was that he stopped and then instinct kicked in."

"I know. Don't feel bad about that, Ken... I know you will anyways, but try not to. Any werewolf would have reacted the exact same way. It's natural instinct."

"I know that. It's just going to take some time."

She smiled weakly at me, but continued. "Anyways, you passed out after that. I could sense how injured you were. I thought you were going to die." Her voice cracked and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

I grabbed her hand, reassuring her that I was okay now.

"I should have let Niki heal you. She's stronger than me. But I guess my own instincts kicked in. I wouldn't let anyone else use magic on you. I was so scared and worried, I didn't trust anyone else. I started as soon as you passed out. We were in the woods for like an hour after that. I had to heal you enough so you wouldn't die when we moved you. Once we were on our way back, shit just about hit the fan."

I looked at her curiously, wondering what happened during the three hour car ride.

"Okay, so when we were in the woods, we couldn't really call anyone to let them know what happened. We didn't know if there were more attackers, so Niki, Emiliya, and Lili guarded us while I healed you. They had to focus on that. When we were safe in the car, which Niki spelled so we could go undetected on the way back, we had to deal with all the angry phone calls. I couldn't really focus on that completely, but I did hear bits and pieces, especially when I was resting in between. If you had any doubts that King Finnian cared about you before... Well you can stop."

My eyes widened. What the hell happened with Finnian? Did people know about us now? Kat seemed to read my mind because she answered my none verbal question.

"No, nobody knows about you two. If you didn't already know beforehand, you would have thought he was just furious about rebels attacking a she-wolf under his protection. Everyone knows he can lose his cool sometimes, so Emiliya didn't seem surprised at all."

"How exactly did he lose his cool?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well I didn't find out until Niki told me in private later, but apparently she had cast a spell on you so that if you were hurt or in trouble, King Finnian would know it. And it worked perfectly. Niki told Emiliya that she had spelled herself instead of you, so it wouldn't raise suspicions. He knew you were in trouble from the very beginning. To make matters worse, he had to wait until we were safe in the car before she returned his calls. He knew you were safe by then and still hurt, but alive. He was livid. Niki didn't even get to finish explaining what happened before he shifted. The phone was still connected and all we could hear was growling and furniture being smashed apart."

As she explained this to me, a seed of doubt seeped into my mind, ceasing all thoughts of him caring. He had a short temper and I'm sure it had more to do with what Emiliya assumed. He was angry about the rebels harming a wolf he was supposed to protect. If he was worried about me as his mate, he would have told everyone about us. I kept my mouth shut about my doubts because I knew Kat wouldn't agree.

"We finally hung up and I asked her to call Matt next. He freaked out and wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't right then. He was so worried about both of us. I've never seen him so brotherly than when we got here. He wouldn't let anyone else carry you inside."

It warmed my heart that my big brother was so worried and protective of me. His brotherly protectiveness wasn't anything new to me, but it was usually about stupid stuff, like boys. Between Brody, Matt, and Dad, Selena and I had a hard time keeping boyfriends when we were teenagers.

"Was..." I paused, not sure if I wanted to know the answer to my next question. I nutted up and asked anyways. "Was the King there when we got back?"

Just by the look on her face, I knew he wasn't. "I'm sorry, Ken. I know he was worried about you though."

I nodded weakly, trying not to let it bother me and failing.

"It took me a while, but I finally got you almost completely healed. It was like around midnight I think. Jeff wanted to bring everyone here, he was so concerned about you and I think he feels guilty. Matt convinced him that you would be fine, that it would overwhelm you."

"Are they mad at me for killing those wolfs instead of leaving them alive to be questioned?" She knew I meant the Royals, not my family.

"No, of course not. They know you did what you had to. Tyler even said he wouldn't have reacted any differently. They're looking into it. They have scouts in the area, searching for more rebels." She explained.

"That's good." I looked down at my now empty plate before looking back at her. I sighed heavily. "I guess it's time to face the heat."

******************************

"Kendall Taylor Keating, what the hell were you thinking?" Dad growled lowly. I flinched at the use of my full name.

I was sitting on Matt and Kat's bed. Matt had already yelled at me for a good ten minutes before we called home. That was after he hugged me first of course. We now had his phone on speaker and they had us on speaker. Dad was the first to speak, but I somehow knew Mom, Selena, and Brody were sitting around the phone as well.

Matt was pacing in front us, shooting daggers at me every once in a while. Kat was sitting next to me, providing support as I faced my biggest nightmare... my entire pissed off family.

"I don't know..." I mumbled almost incoherently.

I usually wasn't so timid, but I didn't really know what to say in this situation.

"You don't know?" He seethed. "Do you know how stupid it was to go after a threat, of which you had no idea how many there were, by yourself? I raised you and trained you better than that, Kendall."

I flinched at his tone. He was furious, but he also sounded disappointed, which stung worse than anger ever could.

"I realize that now." I emphasized 'now'.

"You should have realized that then. Now I'll ask again; what the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't know if it was a threat or not. I smelled a werewolf nearby and I didn't want to worry anyone if it was nothing. I wasn't planning on fighting them alone, but the guy started running and instinct kicked in. If I had gone back inside, I would have lost him." I tried to explain my reasoning.

"Better to worry them unnecessarily than to be dead, you dumbass." Selena threw in her opinion. 

"Well, I'm not dead. I'm fine. I held my own, just like you taught me." I spoke, mostly to dad.

"Oh, yeah? Is that why Kat had to heal you for hours? Because you held you own?" Matt raged in front of me, finally stopping his pacing.

His anger was probably greater than anyone else's. He wasn't just mad that I put myself in danger, but that his mate had to spend hours healing me. He hated seeing her drained after a big spell, so the fact that I caused it for reasons he deemed unnecessary made it worse for him.

I got defensive at his words.

"I did pretty damn good for taking on two fully grown male wolves. I even sensed Beta blood in one of them. They were strong. I managed to kill one of them before the other was able to get the jump on me."

"You're missing the point, Kendall. Yes, you did well in the fight. Not great, but alright. But the point is that you shouldn't have gone after them alone. You were with the most powerful witch alive. She could have easily subdued them. And yet, you still didn't inform her of your actions." Dad jumped back in.

I groaned in annoyance and frustration. "I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what else y'all want me to say. It was stupid and it won't happen again."

"Oh, honey. Don't mind them. You just scared them, that's all. You scared us all. We're just happy you're alright." Mom spoke for the first time, relief strong in her voice.

"Thank you, Mom." I was extremely grateful that I had her on my side. The males in my family were jumping down my throat enough as it was, I didn't need it from her too.

"No problem. Just please don't scare us like that again. I couldn't handle it." Her voice broke at the end, and I could tell she was crying now. I felt bad about making her cry, but I also felt awkward.

"Always making Mom cry, Kendall. Shame on you." Selena taunted, officially ending the awkwardness.

"Shut up, Selena." Several voices, mine included, said at once.

"Geez, did you guys rehearse that or something?" She murmured. She was ignored.

"Listen, I really am sorry. I won't do that again. I'll start training again. It's been a couple of months and I'm getting a little rusty."

"Good." Brody added gruffly. He was a man of few words, so I wasn't surprised that I hadn't heard anything from him until now. I had no doubts that he was there the whole time though.

"I'm still a little tired." I lied. "Can I call you guys later?"

"Sure sweetheart." Mom jumped in, speaking over Dad. "Get some rest. We love you and we'll talk to you later on."

"Thanks. I love you guys too." I hit the end button before anyone could object further. I turned to Matt and stood up. "I'm sorry, Matt. I'm sorry Kat got so drained from having to heal me. Forgive me?" I looked up at him with misty green eyes, willing him to let me off the hook.

I could see the resistance on his face. I knew he was going to scold me some more, but Kat stepped in.

"Yes, he forgives you." She looked at him menacingly before turning to look at me. "Go get some rest." She urged me with her eyes to leave, probably so she could convince him to let this go. I didn't plan on sticking around for that.

Just as I exited their room and pulled the door shut behind me, I saw Tyler turn down our hallway. He smiled at me and I returned the gesture as best as I could and waited for him to reach me. He pulled me into a brief hug.

"I'm glad you're alright. You worried everyone."

"I know. I already heard it all from my family. They scared me more than the rebels I fought."

He laughed, but it sounded strained. "Mind if we talk for a few minutes?"

"Sure." I led him to my room, where we would have privacy from listening ears.

I plopped down on the sectional couch in my room and he sat on the other side.

"I just wanted to update you on the situation." I nodded for him to continue. "You did good work by noticing them. They had been stalking you for most of the day. We found their base camp about seventy miles from the castle. They happened to be on watch that day and they saw the limo and smelled witches inside. They realized they were Royal Witches. They planned on ambushing the limo on the way back. Had you not noticed them, Niki wouldn't have known to shield the limo. You did good." He repeated, looking impressed. Finally, someone was acknowledging that I didn't royally screw up.

"They had a base camp? How many were there?"

"A little over one hundred. A small base camp, but they had to be since they were so close to Royal Territory. If they were too big, we would have discovered them. They stayed under the radar by keeping their distance and by sticking to the woods. They had been living out there for months."

"What'd you guys do?"

"We captured them. Some were killed in the process, but we managed to capture over half of them. Luckily, none of them got away. We've got them locked up in the dungeon on the other side of the territory. We're questioning them now. That's how we know what their plans were. We've also found out they were a tiny fraction of the rebellion. We're trying to find out where other bases camps are and who their leaders are, but most don't know. They just followed orders from their base leaders, who were killed during the battle. We still have a lot of questioning left to do." Tyler explained.

I nodded. "Okay, well I really appreciate you keeping me in the loop on all of this."

"Well, I don't think King Finnian would appreciate it, but you led us to them, so I figured you have the right to know. I'm sure he's heard me telling you."

"Hmm, no he didn't." I told him absentmindedly, distracted by the thoughts of the rebellion. Who knew how many there were. "Niki put a silencing spell on my room."

"Why would she do that?" My eyes, which had been staring into space, snapped up to his face. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. My mind blanked. "The only rooms she's done that to we're for Finnian and herself. Why you?"

"Uhh... I asked her to. She didn't mind." I struggled to find a good explanation.

He looked skeptical, but didn't comment further on the matter.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, after we had sat in silence for a couple of moments.

"Sure."

I hesitated slightly, but decided to ask anyway. I felt more comfortable asking him this particular question than anyone else. I couldn't ask my family.

"Have you ever had to... kill someone?"

He looked at me seriously. "I have."

"How do you live with it? I mean... does it get easier?" I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to word my question right.

This had been sitting with me since I had been conscious. I felt guilty. I didn't know how to deal with this.

He looked at me, understanding shining in his eyes.

"It does. It's never easy to end someone's life, but sometimes it has to be done. You can either let the guilt consume you or you can let yourself off the hook. It's all about perspective. I like to look at it like if I hadn't killed the people I've killed; they could have harmed someone I loved. I've done the things I've done to protect my loved ones."

"I don't know how to not let the guilt consume me." I admitted.

"Life is about choices, Kendall. They made the choice to rebel against the kingdom. They made the choice to stalk you. They made the choice to try and kill you. Now you need to make a choice. You can decide to let the guilt go. You can decide to be proud of yourself, not just for protecting yourself, but your family as well. They were after Kat yesterday as well. They wanted to kill you, her, and the Petrova sisters. They deserved what they got because of the choices they made. Don't let their choices consume you. They don't deserve your guilt. Now decide not to give it to them."

I nodded at him, mulling over his words. It made sense, but it seemed easier said than done. I'd have to work on it.

He stood up and made his way to the door. "I'll keep you updated. I'm here if you need to talk."

I nodded at him again and smiled weakly. He left and I was left with my thoughts, which were haunted with the sickening sound of a neck being snapped.