I awoke to an incessant pounding on my bedroom door. I was going to strangle April. "Go away! It's too early!" I shouted at the door.

I heard muffled laughter and retreating footsteps. Assuming it was safe to go back to sleep, I closed my eyes.

It lasted for all of ten seconds before the queen of destruction herself stormed in. "If you were gonna do that anyway, then why'd you even knock?"

April gave me a half smile. "I was being polite."

I tossed a pillow at her which she dodged.

"You know you love me," she jumped onto the bed, reaching out to hug me but I scooted away just in time.

"Ugh!" I groaned. My mood usually wasn't this crappy but lack of sleep coupled with grief was a really bad combination.

"Ugh!" April mimicked in a sing-song voice.

"I don't even sound like that," I scoffed, making my way to the bathroom.

"We're going shopping today," she informed me, changing the subject.

"I don't think so." Shopping with April usually meant me standing outside the dressing room, holding her outfits. She loved shopping, I on the other hand avoided it unless it was absolutely necessary―and it really wasn't.

"It's not for me, silly. It's retail therapy for you," she clarified. I peeked out and she was smiling. "You've been moping around and sleeping all the time. I get that you're grieving but you can't let the grief consume you."

"I'm coping," I fired back, not wanting to continue the conversation. It was useless trying to argue with April about my Dad's death. She had never lost anyone that she was close to, so she didn't understand what I was going through and I really didn't want to walk her through my grief.

She sighed. "Fine, but I'm getting you out of this house today. Maybe we can go to the park. Is that okay?"

"Maybe," I said before closing the door.

I was soaking in the bathtub for no more than ten minutes when April reappeared.

"I need to start locking my doors," I sighed.

"You've got a visitor."

I stifled a groan. "I'll be out in ten.

***

"No! She didn't!" I heard April exclaim amidst laughter. "That's so wrong." Followed by more laughter.

I was instantly curious. Who was she talking to?

"Oh yes, she totally did!" I heard an unfamiliar voice say. "We drove around for a good hour trying to get back."

Stepping into the kitchen, I didn't expect the voice to belong to the Prescott lady from the previous day. "Hi," I said, coming to a stop at the counter.

"Hey chameleon!" April beamed, motioning for me to come sit near her.

I eyed her warily. She was way too happy for my taste.

"Hello, Camille," Mrs. Prescott said with a smile.

I nodded. "It's good to see you again, Mrs Prescott."

She smiled. "Please, call me Tori."

"Okay, Tori. I don't mean to be rude but why are you here?"

"Well, I was hoping that we could talk for a moment, if that's okay with you."

"I don't think that it's such―" I began but was interrupted by April.

"Actually Tori, Camille and I had plans to go to the park today but maybe you can accompany her instead."

I gave up the fight before it even began and rested my head in my hands, willing her to say no.

"Is that okay?" she asked.

I shrugged, my face still in my hands.

"It's not a problem," I heard April say as I excused myself.

I took my time going back to the place where I now spent most of my time. I fluffed the pillows and lay on my side.

"You okay?"

"Since when am I not capable of making my own decisions?" I asked April who had situated herself beside me.

"I knew that you would've said no and you need to talk to someone," she said in a small voice. "I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."

"And talking to a stranger will do that?" I asked, tears already clouding my vision.

She hugged me. "God, I don't know. I'm struggling with this too and I don't know what to do. You won't talk to me about it so maybe you'll talk to her."

I wanted to tell her that I didn't talk to her about it because she was clueless sometimes when it came to dealing with the subject of death but I bit my tongue as usual and let her have her day.

I closed my eyes and let the tears run freely. April took that as a sign to leave me be and I was grateful for her departure.

At some point I had fallen asleep and when I awoke I felt a tiny bit better. While I still hurt like crazy, it was a manageable pain as opposed to what I had felt earlier. Maybe this is the way it will be from now, I'll walk around with a heartache there's no cure for.

"Oh good, you're up," April beamed, entering the room. "I made us some sandwiches, eat with me?"

I nodded and got up to wash my face.

"Jason's mom invited us to their place for dinner but since I already know what your answer will be, are you okay with him spending the night?" she asked.

That meant that she was going to rush their evening so I wouldn't have to be alone for long. "I don't want you to cut short your plans for me, I'll be fine by myself," I assured her.

"Yeah, like I'd leave you alone for an entire night!" she scoffed.

"Maybe you should let you mom know," I told her. 

She waved my suggestion away before leaving the room. 

I smiled a little at that. That's the thing about April, she's a little overbearing sometimes but she was a faithful friend and she was always looking out for me even if I didn't always appreciate it.

We had been friends since I'd moved there ten years ago and she had been my protector for as long as I can remember. Whenever the kids at school said anything mean or rude to me she always had a snide remark for them and eventually they just left me alone and resorted to ignoring me instead. She may be tiny but she was also mean when she wanted to be.

Standing at 5'4, April was taller than I was by about two inches. Jason called us his tiny humans. While April found it adorable, I was a little insulted. I was anything but tiny― Let's just disregard my height here. But hey, that's why heels were created. 

I silently thanked the shoe fairies, although I wasn't a big fan of feeling like I was walking around on stilts.

I looked at my watch, it said 12:30, Tori would be here soon and I still hadn't picked out an outfit.

While I hated the torture of shopping, I still had a pretty full closet. April had insisted on shopping on my behalf and my dad had willingly handed over his credit cards for her to max out on clothes, shoes and accessories to match. She went all out when it came to fashion. She had wanted to go to fashion school in New York but denying her that dream was the one thing that her parents had wholeheartedly agreed on. So, she often used me as her very own barbie doll to compensate for her ruined dreams.

If it were up to me, I'd probably walk around naked, but apparently it's illegal to do so. So, instead I have an endless supply of shorts, sweats and t-shirts to compensate for my ruined dream of clothing optional.

I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a plain baby blue t-shirt, put my hair in its signature ponytail and was in the kitchen with minutes to spare.

"You clean up nice," April said as I sat and picked up a sandwich.

"If only I could say the same for you."

"I think that Tori's pretty cool," she said going off topic. She chewed slowly, gauging my reaction.

"It's nice that you think so, but I don't trust her," I said and my sandwich suddenly lost its appeal.

"Why not? What's not to trust?" she asked with her mouth full.

"First of all, swallow woman. Are you trying to choke?"

"Sorry," she laughed then sipped her water.

"And besides, we just met her. She's practically a stranger," I reasoned, reaching for another flavorless sandwich.

"Everyone in your life was once a stranger, Cam," she said just as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," I offered, getting up.

"I wasn't going to," she rolled her eyes.

I shook my head as I opened the door. Tori was waiting on the other side with a bright smile. "Hey," I greeted her.

"Hi, ready to go?"

I told her that I was and followed her down the lane.

Tori cleared her throat after we'd been walking for about five minutes in complete silence. I looked at her and when she said nothing, I felt compelled to. "How do you know my dad?" I asked, deciding to go with the question that I'd wanted to ask since the previous day.

"Um, we went to school together," she said, shifting uncomfortably as we stopped at a red light waiting for the walk symbol.

"Okay." It wasn't a good enough answer but it didn't look like she was going to elaborate so I dropped it.

We passed the coffee shop, the only one that our small town had. It was bustling with activity as usual and I let myself be nostalgic for a second. I smiled as I inhaled the aroma of black coffee. I wasn't a coffee drinker, I just liked the smell because it reminded me of my father. I was tempted to suggest that we stopped there but Tori had already walked on.

Mrs. Long waved as we passed her flower shop. She was outside tending to a customer. I waved back and offered a small smile.

"Thanks for coming out with me, Camille," Tori said softly. She smiled at me and I was taken aback by the sincerity of her smile.

"Sure," I mumbled.

We reached the café and Tori stopped. "Let's stop here," she suggested.

She chose seats outside, much to my dismay. I'd rather stay safely hidden inside. "So..." I began.

She laughed. "So."

"What did you want to talk about?".

"You."

She'd said it with a warm smile but I found myself narrowing my eyes. "Me?"

Her smile didn't falter. "Yes, you. I'm curious about your life."

"Why?"

"Because I'd like to get to know you," she answered quietly.

"Again, why?"

"Can't I just want to know you?"

"No, that would be weird," I replied. "And just a tad bit creepy."

She sighed, finally dropping her smile.

A waiter approached our table, cutting into the awkwardness of the moment. "What can I get you ladies?" he asked with a kind smile.

"Two iced teas please," Tori answered.

He nodded and was gone.

"There's something that I need to tell you," she said, looking at her hands.

"I'm listening."

"Well, this isn't easy for me to say." I waited for her to continue. My patience was wearing thin but rushing her would do me no good. "Camille," she croaked, reaching for my hands. 

I glanced at my hands which were now covered by hers and then back at her. There were tears in her eyes and my heart hammered in my chest. I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Please try to forgive me," she pleaded after a minute had gone by. 

I swallowed, already knowing what it was that she was going to confess.

"I'm sorry that I left," was all that she said, but it was all that she needed to say.

I knew it from the moment that I saw her, but I wasn't ready to admit it just yet. "Say it," I whispered.

She blew on a loose strand of hair that had found its way to her face and then looked me in the eyes. Once again, I saw my own pain and sadness reflected in her eyes and I turned away. "Say it," I repeated.

"I'm your mother," she said softly.

I nodded as my chest constricted. I felt like my heart was breaking―I didn't want this. I didn't want her. I wanted my Dad.

I pulled my hands away from hers and closed my eyes. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I opened my eyes to find hers still focused on me.

I took a deep breath and then another and forced a smile onto my face. It stayed there for about two seconds before my lips began to quiver. 

"Here you go," the waiter reappeared with our iced teas and receiving no response he backed away.

Tori reached across the table to take my hand again but I pulled it away. "Don't," I warned.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, wiping away fresh tears. 

"An apology can't fix this," I mumbled, shaking my head. I thought about the life that I'd had until then and I saw red. I scoffed at her tears. "Sixteen years," I sneered.

"What?" she asked, dabbing at her eyes.

"That's how long you were gone," I replied, my voice cracking with each word. "Sixteen years of silence. No phone calls, no birthday cards or anything. I had no indication that you were even alive."

She looked at her hands and then back at me. "I'm sorry," she repeated.

I gripped my glass of iced tea. I was sorry too, more than she'd ever know. And as I sat there trying to resist the urge to throw up, I wanted nothing more than to call my dad and have him comfort me, but then it hit me that he was gone and she was back and my life was never going to be the same after this.

Photo on the side: Arden Cho as April.