Have you already met the love of your life? or you are still looking and waiting for it to find you, I want you to be bold and dare your feelings to show every emotion that it's trying to hold on. We may not know, but love is the greatest feeling when we give it all.

"Try this one," I said as I put an animal headband on Matthew's head. The way it's fluffy and the long bunny ear falls down into his hair looks so cute as he tries to look so cool wearing it. I just smile at him as he holds my hands and looks around at the display in the store.

I still can't believe that I am dating him, Matthew. It's been a week, and I can still hear everyone at school talking about us. I just ignore everything they say, as all I can see is the man who is smiling and looking in front of me.

"Let's go and take some rides!" I pulled him as we walked around the amusement park. It's our first date; we had a lot of fun; we had dinner together and had a sweet dessert after; and we also got a couple chain of a fox and bunny; as Matthew said, it resembled us a lot.

He likes vanilla over chocolate or strawberry, he doesn't like cola, but instead, he drinks juice with a lot of ice on it. I am learning a lot of things about Matthew. As I learn that he is the only son of his parents, his father is doing business overseas, and he has barely seen him for years, and her mother?

"They were in the process of divorce," he said, not looking at me while he was walking me to my house. "My mother had an affair and was already living with his man for years, she's also pregnant; that's why we found out." Matthew's voice shook a little bit, but I could feel how he immediately controlled his emotions as he stopped and looked at me.

We stop almost reaching the front of our house. "Don't look at me like that, Lauren. You didn't have to feel sorry about me," he said as he tried to break the looks in my eyes on him.

"I just found you amusing, Matthew, you had enough of enduring everything on your own," I said to him. "You have me now," I said as I could see how his eyes looked stunned for a moment and smiled.

He held my hand as he pulled me closer to him, wrapping my hands around his back as he hugged me. I could feel butterflies inside my body as I felt how warm his hug was. He rested his head on my left shoulder as his breath touched my neck.

"Thank you, Lauren," Matthew said. I didn't know if it was because of the cold breeze that night or maybe because of the flickering light that the street light gave us, but I can hear worry in his words, as all I gave him was my shoulder for him to lean on during that time.

"So, how is your date?" Riza asked me while we were in class. The first period just finished. and we were waiting for our next teacher to start his class.

"It didn't go well," I told her, looking sad as I could see her look at me with her worried eyes. I lean closer to her and whisper in her ears, "We didn't kiss," as I smile at her and laugh at my sit. I can see how Riza rolled her eyes as she got back in her seat.

"Matthew! Ms. Gomez is calling you at her office, she said now. Everyone turned their eyes to Matthew, who was just in his seat with Jonathan and his friends. My eyes locked at him, so worried as I saw him stand and walk himself out of the classroom, but he looked at me and smiled, saying, 'Everything was fine'.

"Is something going on?" Riza asked as she turned the pages of her book as the teacher entered our class. I couldn't seem to find my focus during class, as all that came to mind was Matthew. Jonathan said that the teacher talked to him for a minute and let him go home early for today. 'I hope everything was okay' as all I can do is wish that nothing serious happened to him.

It's been 2 days, and Matthew still didn't attend school, even Jonathan didn't hear from him when I tried to ask him. I feel so worried that I even ask Ms. Gomez about him, but she just says, 'It's family-issued, and she can't tell me more'.

"Just text him or call him!" I can hear Riza say while we were on the bus going home. I looked at her with a worried look on my face. "I don't have his number," I said, as disappointment appeared on my own face. I can see Riza rolling her eyes in disbelief when she hears what I say.

"Wow, are you two really in a relationship?" Riza asked me as she got up from her seat and pressed the button on the bus. She waved at me, saying goodbye as she got off the bus, while I still looked devastated at what I should do now.

It's not even a month when we both go out, but I can feel that I do nothing as her girlfriend before. Matthew is the one who asked me to go out. He's always the one who holds my hands. He was so straight-forward about his feelings for me, and I can't help but feel sorry that I haven't seen him for days now.

I want to take some effort and be the one who made the first move this time, "O-75, zero-seven-six." As I read out loud the number in the gate number of the houses in front of me, "Oh! 079!" I exclaimed as I got my phone in my bag and opened the message Riza sent me last night. 'House No.080' I look at the house next to the one beside me.

"Does Matthew really live here?" I asked myself as I was looking at the 3-story house in front of me. Like the other house here, the design is simple, with a small wooden gate in front of the house, a few-meter-square garden with just pure grass on it, and a big two-door with clear glass around it.

I was about to press the button of the doorbell in their gate when someone took me by surprise when she approached me. "Are you still here?" She said in a loud and annoyed voice. I was confused and felt so nervous when she looked at me in disbelief.

"We already told you, no one really lives in that house, so stop coming back here and cause a scene here," she told me as she pointed at Matthew's house and me. I can feel her anger toward me, but I try to compose myself and try to speak to her.

"Ah, excuse me, but I didn't visit here before," I tried to explain to her when she looked at me from head to toe. "I am visiting my classmate here, Matthew," I told her again, as she looked so puzzled when she looked at my face.

"Are you the one who visited here yesterday?" She asked me, waiting for my answer. "Uhm, no, I'm not," I told her, as I could see how her eyes brightened.

She quickly apologized to me as she mistaken me for someone who visited here and made a scene in their neighborhood. I tried to ask her about Matthew, but what she said to me didn't really make sense.

"Who? The family left here for more than a year now, no one really lives here. That is why we are all surprised that someone suddenly barged into that house yesterday looking for someone. Im sorry, I was mistaken for you for that girl, she was like about your age, so I thought it was the same person. Im sorry."

I didn't know how many times she apologized to me, but it seems like all the noise around me has faded, as all I can think now is, Where is Matthew now? I can see how busy the people who walk upon me are as I cross the street. The lights from the cars, stores, and buildings are lighting up everything I see.

'Where are you, Matthew?' I asked myself as I stopped when I could hear my phone ringing in my bag.

"You already met Matthew? Are you with him now?" the words she said, but I didn't know how to answer her question. "Your mother called me, ask Matthew to take you home, okay?" She continued, as I could feel how worried she was about me.

"Riza..." I call her name. I was walking on the street when I saw someone with messy and curly hair. His broad shoulder on his white long sleeve was folded into half of his arm, showing his biceps.

"I found him," I just said out of my mind, as I can see myself following everything that the guy is doing. "See W-what? Lauren, Hey!" I can still hear Riza's loud voice over the phone when I suddenly lose the strength in my body as I drop my phone on the ground.

"You dropped this, miss?" Someone called me and handed me my phone, but I couldn't even thank him as I could feel the heavy weight inside my chest. 'Matthew? ' I said not enough to even hear my own voice, looking at the man a few meters in front of me.

He was smiling as he walked out of a building and helped a woman as he opened the car door as she stepped out, carrying her bag as he held her waist, holding the door for both of them as they entered the building. I could feel how nervous I was when I followed them to 'Night's Club' as I saw the signage in front of the building. Some girls in their sexiest outfits came in and out of the building.

I step closer, but a built man in a suit stops me before I can step closer to the door. I look at him with a question in my face, but he points to the signage beside the door 'minor not allow inside' I suddenly look at myself as I dress like I was about to have a picnic with a summer color of vivid yellow with some pattern on it.

I didn't have a chance to take a look inside, even though I told them, 'I know someone inside. He is my classmate, Matthew. Do you know him? ' But they didn't give me a chance, ignoring everything I said. "I really need to talk to him. Please let him know now that I am here, Lauren." I feel so desperate at that time. I don't care what kind of looks other people give me right now.

"Leave! or we will call police," he said, still ignoring what I said, but maybe I am out of mind as I push myself towards them, trying to reach the door as someone opens it from the inside, causing me to fall to the ground. I could hear people around me talking and babbling about me.

The guard helped me stand, as I could feel the coldness of the ground on my hand. I get my senses back for a minute as I apologize to them before I leave and stop a few meters from the club. I stand beside a post of a street light with its flickering lights.

I just look at it as the light turns on and off, off and on. I suddenly felt exhausted from the whole day of walking. I can see the bruise behind my feet, but I can't feel the pain from it. Instead, the pain is coming from my chest. I didn't know what to do actually, I felt so lost at that time, and it felt like everything I knew about Matthew was just a lie that I just wanted to believe.

I stayed standing there for a few minutes, until it became an hour as I could hear my phone ringing from my mother, Riza, and Jonathan. I just ignore everything around me, even when someone asks, 'If I am lost? ' 'If I am alright? ' 'If I need a ride to go home,' I just stand there waiting, as I do not know what my eyes want to see.

It's already 2:00 at midnight, almost 3 hours after I saw Matthew enter the building, but I didn't see him leaving until now. I could feel how the heaviness in my chest lightened, thinking that what I saw was not really him. 'I must be just tired and missed him. All I can see and think is Matthew.' I laugh, trying to convince myself at that time.

'Zzzt tzzzt' the light above me flickered for a second until the light didn't turn on again. I stood on my feet as I convinced myself that I needed to go home. When I hear the chime of the door opening and closing, I can hear their laughter as I try to hide myself from a corner of the street. I see some cars passing by, giving me some light as I just look at them.

I can't take my eyes off them, as they just stand there waiting for a car that stops a few steps in front of them. He opens the umbrella as he holds the girl's shoulder into his as he walks her in the rain to get in the car. 'That's why it felt so cold. I thought it was just because of the cold breeze that night. I didn't even realize that it's already raining and I am soaking wet right now' I maybe numbed, as I didn't feel anything but the pain in my heart.

The way he smiled at her and the way she pulled Matthew closer, giving him a kiss on his cheek and making him lose his grip on the umbrella, I thought rain could hide those feelings that we couldn't share. But I could feel how his eyes looked at her as he grabbed her shoulder and leaned closer as they both shared a kiss under the heavy rain that night.

"I won't make you cry again." My heart just remembered the words that Matthew said to me.As I could feel the warm tears falling on my eyes as I watched them, I felt the tightness on my chest as I couldn't find some air to breathe. I couldn't even take my eyes off, as the pain was torturing my heart in the finest way.

'Did he just kiss every girl he met? ' I asked myself as I could feel tears fall from my eyes as I couldn't pull myself to look away from both of them. He was about to turn in my direction, and I felt the panic that he would see me. until someone pulled my shoulder, turning my body to him. I could feel how tight his arms were as he embraced me, holding my head as he pushed me against his body.

"You're okay now, Lauren." Jonathan's voice makes the tears that I am trying to hold on burst in just a second. I hear the loud cry on my face, but it seems the pain that I felt that night didn't lessen even an inch. I could feel my body falling on its own as I broke down.

'Lauren, I never lied to you. believed me, you need to trust me, lauren.." I can hear Matthew's voice.

"Lauren" is calling my name.

I wake up as I can feel my body cry out in pain. "Lauren?" is my mom's voice, as I can feel her touch on my hand. I was in the hospital when I woke up, but no one asked me about what happened. My mother said Jonathan explained everything, and they understand me now.

"What did you say to my parents? " I ask Jonathan when he is helping me pack my things so I can go home today. He just smiled at me. "Don't think of anything, Lauren, just take a rest," he said as he carried my bag and open the door for me.

"How about Matthew? Did you—ouch!" I didn't even finish what I said when he flicked me on my forehead. "How can you do that? You're supposed to take care of me," I complained as I could feel the pain on my forehead. He looked at me with those serious eyes.

"Just take a rest, Lauren," he said. I never saw Jonathan talk to me in a serious way before, I could feel his authority, so I didn't speak after that, and I just followed him to the looby as we met my parents to take me home.

Jonathan said goodbye to my parents and didn't look at me before he left. I can feel his anger over what happened. I even checked my phone, as all I could see were Riza messages and calls.

and an unknown number that is not on my phone. "I heard everything in class, call me when you get out of the hospital. Im worried. Its me, Matthew."

I didn't know how I should feel, whether I should be happy, sad, mad, or angry. I didn't know, I just want to stop thinking about everything at all. I want to forget the feelings that I had for him, or maybe I just want to simply run away from him.

I just didn't know.