"I won't make you cry again," Matthew said, as I could feel how his lips touched mine. I can hear the loud sound of the ball as it bounces when I drop it in my hands.

His lips were soft, and his hands on my face were like armor, protecting me from all the pain. It was a second before he made some space between us.

"Lauren, be my girlfriend." It was like I was under a spell, a magical one. as I smile and nod back at him. I can see his smile making a sound and turning it into laughter as we both laugh.

"I like you, Matthew," I finally said.


—

"Is this really your house?" I asked again, as I saw him smile.

"It's ours, Lauren."

Matthew's voice echoes in each corner of the house as I look at him walk over the center.

"This will be our place, our home," he continued, as I could see sparks in his eyes when he talked.


—

"So you going to marry me, Lauren?" Matthew's question makes me stop for a moment; I didn't hear him right.

I just look at him without even blinking. For a minute, my mind didn't hear him right.

'Is he asking me to marry him? '

"Lauren, will you marry me?" Matthew repeated himself in front of me, just standing there waiting for my answer.

—

Lauren POV 

June 10, 2019

'Why do I keep on remembering those moments'

I woke up as I could feel how my head hurt from dizziness early this morning.

I get up to see Riza preparing for breakfast. As she stopped when she saw me go out of my room, she quickly ran to me and gently held my hand.

"You should call me when you wake up," Riza said, like she was carefully walking me to take a seat. I almost laugh at her.

"Don't be so dramatic over it, okay?" I said as I poured a glass of water on it.

"I just want my soon-to-be niece to be healthy, so you are Lauren," Riza said as she tried to hold my belly bump, waiting for it to move.

"Is he asleep?" she said, as I laughed at her.

It's been six months since the accident. I almost had a miscarriage back then, but thankfully it was not too serious for me. I can't really recall what happened back then.

but it made me realize something.

as I choose to leave those painful memories behind and look forward to what is coming to my life from now on.

my son.

Riza, Jonathan, and mostly Tristan, help me out on everything. It was all thanks to them. It felt like I was born again.

knowing that in life, I can't always have what I want.

that loving someone can be so painful at times. but without regret, I still do my best.

I am still in the process of accepting and healing, as I always remember Matthew in everything I do in my life.

I can tell that thanks to him. I can hold on too, I know to myself that I cannot hate him for what happened to us.

The truth is, I still love him.

that in my heart, there was always a part of me that would keep on remembering him.

Matthew.



September 18, 2019


"Aahh!" I screamed, in pain.

"Oh my gad! Jonathan is faster, Lauren is on labor right now!" Riza also shouted as we drove to the hospital as I suddenly got a pain in my stomach.

"I was! Look, we were overspeeding right now at 80!!" Jonathan also shouted, as all of us panicked in that moment.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed in pain, and I can hear Riza and Jonathan screaming with me until we arrive at the nearest hospital.

Time flies so fast that I have already given birth to my son, 'Luis'.

It was a mixed emotion when I first held him in my arms. He looks so fragile, like me.

"Luis." The first time I called his name

I could see how his small face gave me a soft reaction as I said his name. He was everything to me, he was my world, and he was the love that I wanted.

I cried as I realized what I had gone through all these years.

And finally, I see my happy ending with my son.



September 19, 2023

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, my dear Luis, happy birthday to you," as I surprise him, holding a cake in its fondant blue color with a numbered candle on top of it, '4'.

He was still half awake, with his pajamas on, but he tried to open his small eyes, rubbing them while walking closer to me. He looked at me with a smile and wrapped his arms around my neck as I bent down to him. "I love you, mom," he said as he pushed himself against my neck.

I carry him with my left arm while holding the cake in my right hand as I put it down on the table in our kitchen. I take Luis to the seat in front of me and look at him in the eyes.

"I love you too, Lui," he said, smiling and giving me a kiss on the lips. Luis was my sweet boy. He just turned 4 years old today, and I can see how he is growing so fast day by day. but he will always remain my baby, no matter what his age.

He is everything to me.

We were having breakfast, as we had plans to celebrate his birthday, when someone doorbelled into our home. I can see how quickly Luis got up from his seat and how excited he was to open the door after hearing it.

"Uncle!" he exclaimed, jumping on his arms like he had not seen him yesterday. I just smile as I can hear them laughing and playing when he shows Luis his new car toys.

"Wahh! You're the best uncle!" Luis shouted as he took the car and ran to his playroom. "Wait! Where is my kiss?" he said in disappointment when Luis left him to play it alone.

He stood on his feet as he shoved his curly hair that fell down on his eyes. "He's really growing so fast, Lauren." Tristan smiled at me as I gave him a cup of coffee.

"Yes, it feels like yesterday when I can still hold him in just both of my hands," I said as we both watched Luis so excited as he played.

"It's like the first time I met you, Lauren," Tristan said, as you can see the smile on his face.

"Ha, you were so childish back then," I tease him as he laughs at me.

"That's why you never like me," he said, almost whispering, as I glared at him.

He still makes those kinds of jokes about me.

"Should we go now?" Tristan asked me as I looked at the time on my watch, it was already 9 a.m. in the morning.

"Lui, let's go," I called to my son, as he quickly ran over me with a smile.

"Are we going now?" he excitedly said.

"Yes, so get your shoes now," Tristan told him as Luis got his shoes on the cabinet and patiently put them on.

"I can put my shoes on now," Luis proudly says to Tristan as he shows us his shoes untied.

Tristan clapped at him as he bent down and tied his shoes.

"Your father must be proud of you now," Tristan said with a smile as he carried Luis in his arms.

"I drive you, Lauren," he said, going out first with Luis.

The drive always takes forever when we visit here. It takes mostly two hours before Luis falls asleep on the back seat when we arrive.

"I go with him later, you should see him first," Tristan said as I smiled at him before I got out of the car.

It gives me some unwanted feelings when I go to the hospital.

I just write down my name in the reception and take the elevator going up to the fifth floor. where the VIP rooms were.

The nurse greeted me as always as I walked to the last room in the corridor.

'Matthew Carter, VIP patient' is the tag that you can see on the door.

I take a deep breath before I walk in. It felt like seeing him unconscious was always a first time for me.

He looks like he was having a good time sleeping. His curly hair, which I always trim when I visit him, and his face showed some bone as he lost so much weight over the past few years.

but his hands were still warm—the warmest of all when I held them.

"It's Luis's fourth birthday today, Matthew. It was his wish to see you again," I said, trying to smile even though I knew he couldn't see me.

Matthew was in a coma for years—almost 3 years until now. Years after I gave birth to Luis, Tristan told me everything.

Matthew saved me when I was almost hit by a truck when we were in New York. The voice I kept hearing back then was him calling me as he ran over me at that time. I am the one who is supposed to be lying down here.

I blamed myself a lot.

The accident was so serious, but Matthew was still conscious for almost a year back then, but he suddenly developed malignant brain tumors caused by the accident that put him in a coma, even after he recovered from the surgery.

I still remember what Tristan said to me back then.

"He knows about Luis, I told him Lauren. It's his choice to keep his situation from you because he cares for both of you. I know Matthew will come back," Tristan said to me.

"That he wants to go home with you and Luis when he recovers," Tristan continues, as we both feel how painful it was for all of us.

His father does his best to give him all the best treatment that he can have.

and the marriage never happened.

"Mom?" Luis voice when he holds my hands gets me back to reality as I try to hide my tears from him.

Tristan closed the door for us, giving us some time alone.

"You know, Daddy doesn't like it when you cry," Luis said to me as I lifted him to my legs so he could take a closer look at Matthew.

"I'm sorry, honey, just I missed him so much." I can't lie to my son, as I said the truth, giving him a hug.

"Daddy always talks to me in my dream," Luis said to me, he always told me every morning when he woke up.

that he always has Matthews in his dream.

"Daddy said that I would take care of you until he came back, don't let mommy cry," Luis continued as he hugged me back.

His short and small arms on me felt like the whole world was giving me the comfort that I needed.

I will never give up on him.

We will wait, and we will love, as it will never change as I take all the chances in our lives.