PRESENT

Lauren POV

"Did you have fun?" I smile, asking him as he runs over me, giving me a hug.

"Yes! Uncle Jonathan let me ride his car, and Trishia joined us too," Luis said so excitedly to me, lifting him as I carried him in my arms.

Riza and Jonathan followed him behind, carrying Trishia, their daughter, in Riza's arms. I smile looking at them.

"Thank you for letting Luis stay for today." I thank Riza, as Jonathan took Luis from me.

"You're a big boy now, Luis, you should not let Lauren carry you around," Jonathan said to him, making Luis look at me with worry in his eyes.

"Stop it," I hissed to him as he put Luis on his shoulder.

giggle as they run over the field in front of their house.

Riza held my shoulder with empathy in her eyes.

"Luis is welcome in our home, so you are," Riza said to me.

"Anytime Lauren, you know that we are always here for you," she said, as I smiled and nodded at her.

"You're holding so fine, so is Matthew." Riza's words were like a warm hug as I looked at their daughter sleeping in her arms.

"He is. He is fighting for it for us," I replied as I gently held Trishia's hands.

"Mommy." Luis's loud voice as they run over us makes me laugh. I can't wait to hear how he will call Matthew's name again.


"Da" was Luis's first words, even he didn't even see Matthew.



PAST


Lauren POV


"I miss you, text me back."

"Are you okay? You're not answering my call."

"I love you, Matt."

"I am waiting, leave me a message."

30 calls and over 50 messages in just two days, after I saw the article about him getting married to William's.

I know it is just for business, and I know Matthew loved me over it. He just doesn't have a choice. I can understand him, I am waiting for him.

I trust his words that he loves me.

"Ms. Lauren, I can take the counter, so you can have your lunch," my staff said. As I didn't see the time, it's almost 1 p.m., and yet I haven't eaten anything since morning.

I get upstairs to see Riza order some food for me before she goes out with Jonathan earlier.

I take a seat, opening the food tray, as I can feel dizziness and a sudden dryness in my mouth. I can feel my stomach suddenly give me a little pain as I quickly run over to the kitchen, vomiting, which is so unusual for me.

I don't get sick as easily as I try to wipe my mouth.

'It's maybe because I haven't eaten anything yet' I said in my mind, going back to my seat when I stopped, remembering something that I should have now.

"What date is today?" I ask myself as I suddenly notice something. I look at my phone calendar.

I haven't gotten my menstruation this month, I was a week late, which has never happened before.

I felt so tense for a second about what I was thinking right now.

"I can't be pregnant, right?" I said out loud as I touched my stomach.

'I am not, right? '


--

With my finger crossed, I prayed as I waited impatiently for the result to show in the urine test.

It was early, at 5 a.m., and Riza was still in her room, sleeping.

I have had bad feelings since yesterday, and to make it clear for me, I took a urine pregnancy test today.

It was after about a second of waiting that I saw the lining change color to a light red.

It shows the first line, I still have hope.

I closed my eyes, as I felt so nervous about what I would see.

and the second line appears next to it so clearly. that I was stunned for a moment inside the bathroom.

It feels like something like a cold shower was poured on my body.

I look at myself in the mirror.

'I was pregnant'

I didn't know what kind of emotion I had at that time, but I just stood there for almost 30 minutes.

I was supposed to be happy, right?

I am getting married to Matthew, and we are also having our first child.

I was happy, right?

I am happy, but why can't I feel anything right now?

But why does it feel like I'm alone right now?

I feel tears running down my eyes as I wipe them out.

I am trying to make myself calm as I take the pregnancy test and get back into my room.

Matthew still hasn't messaged me or called me back since then. It's been three weeks, and I still haven't heard anything from him.

I can't even tell Riza and Jonathan what happened, as I trust Matthew's words that he will come back for me.

I also tried to ask Camille in the office if he had heard about Matthew or Tristan, but she said that they were still on leave for work.

I didn't even think about what other people would say, say I just randomly asked Matthew about the people I hoped could give me even a little answer.

It feels like I am going to lose my mind all of a sudden about what is happening to my life right now.

I was in my room, thinking of how I could reach Matthew.

When my phone rings, 'Riiiing—'

I quickly took my phone off the table, answering it even though I didn't see who was calling.

"Matthew?" was the first thing that came to mind.

"Ah— good morning. This is Ms.Lauren on the line?" someone asked over the phone. It took me back for a second. He sounded so confused for a second about what I said.

"Yes, it's me," I answered in disappointment.

"This is your courier for your order with Home Design Depot, we would like to inform you that we will deliver all your order later this afternoon," the guy over the phone said, giving me the details for their delivery.

I felt so devastated right at that moment, when he ended the call.

"What should I do now?" I asked myself.

The fact is, everything has started to sink in on me now.

I just didn't want to believe it, but as time passed, waiting for him was like pulling me back to the past, where he left me.

'How could he do this to me again? '

I want to ask him that question.

'Do I really not have enough for him? '

Is everything he promised to me, was all just to make me fall over to him again?

It was sinking into me right now—that Matthew had already left me again.

—

"W—what?" Riza was so shocked to hear what I said.

"Wait, is something going on, Lauren?" She asked me again, as I tried to look at her like nothing was wrong with me.

It's been two days since I found out that I was pregnant with Matthew, and I still haven't reached him until today.

So I decide that I need to see him right now.

"New York? Does Matthew know that you will travel to see him?" She keeps on asking as I prepare my luggage.

"It was a surprise, Riza," I told her.

as I could feel how she rolled her eyes on my back as she watched me. I stop and sit on my bed in front of her.

"Where was the surprise, if I will tell him right?" I said again in front of her.

"And it's my first time going to New York, I want to spend time with Matthew while I am there, just think of it like I am going on a vacation." I try to convince her, as I can still see that she doubted everything I said.

"I—t's just so sudden, and you already booked your flight tomorrow?" she complained.

"You know I want to go to New York too!" Riza said, making the both of us laugh.

I feel sorry for lying to Riza this time, but I feel so desperate right now that I would do anything just to see Matthew again.

I know he loves me, like he always says.

I still have hope in my heart that I want to trust him.


'beep' (text message ringtone)
'beep' (text message ringtone)
'beep' (text message ringtone)
'beep' (text message ringtone)

'Ringggg' 'Riiiiiingg' (phone ringing)

I woke up when I heard my phone non-stop ringing from messages and calls. It was midnight, 11 p.m., as I slept early for my afternoon flight tomorrow.

Even though I was half asleep, I still managed to get up and check who was calling me.

'Tristan'

With 4 messages and 1 missed call, I could feel nervous in my heart as I called his number back.

'Riiii—' (phone ringing)

"Lauren," Tristan answered, and even before the first ring ended, I could feel he was worried.

My heart pounds the moment I hear his voice.

"Lauren, are you still there?" Tristan asked me again.

"Where is Matthew?"

was the first word that came out of my mind, with my crack voice as I held back myself from bursting out in tears.

"I need to talk to him, please," I begged, as I could hear Tristan's voice calling my name. but I couldn't answer him as I started to break down all the emotions that I had been holding onto these past few days.

Again, I was hurting for loving the man who hurt me first.