Can we really move on from our dark past?

to keep running away, to keep all that pain inside our hearts. can cause us to break apart.

But how can we let go?

when it is still holding onto you. not wanting you to leave, not wanting you to forget everything,

but to keep on showing you when you first fall in love with him.



Lauren POV


I could feel how heavy my breathing was when I knocked before I excused myself when I entered Mr. Matthew's office.

It was similar to Mr. Harold's office, but you could feel how high the 18th floor was as you could see everything through the glass wall on the left side of his office. There was also an extra room inside.

but my eyes stopped wandering as I could feel someone's eyes on me.

Matthew, as he was sitting on his desk like he was waiting for me.

'What should I say? '

I try to calm myself down in front of him as I walk closer to his table.

"I will get the document now, Mr. Matt-hew." His name on my crack voice feels so awkward as I try to put a smile on my face.

"Will you not offer me a cup of coffee, Lauren?" he said in a sarcastic tone. I didn't get what he meant to say.

'Did he really ask for a coffee? ' I said to myself as I looked so confused as I stood in front of him.

"I will get you your coffee, sir," I offer to him, so unsure about my answer as I look around his office, but there is no pantry or cup inside his office.

"Can't you just say no?"

I was surprised by his voice, as I could feel how he was holding his anger at me.

'w-what? 'I question myself in my mind, as I'm not really getting what he meant to say to me.

"You should do your job and stop offering everyone a cup of coffee," he said with a serious look on his face.

'What is he saying? 'I asked myself.

'Is he talking about Mr.Harold? ' I look at Matthew as he stands on his seat and walks closer to me.

"I told you, I don't like it when someone takes their hands on what is mine," he said in front of me.

His voice was deep, but I could feel his authority over me.

and I didn't like it. At times, I always try to hold my anger back by not saying anything. I just keep saying all the words that I want to say without expressing what my real feelings are.

but this time, I won't hold back.

"Don't be absurd, I'm not yours."

I said back to him, and I could see that he looked surprised by the way I talked to him.

"You don't own me, not anyone. I can do what I want." I can hear my voice raise a bit, which makes Matthew's face so furious when he looks at me.

"Not to flirt with someone in front of my eyes, Lauren," Matthew said, as I couldn't believe what he was saying right now.

I step back from him, keeping our distance.

"What? Why are you saying all of these?" I could feel how my heart raced when I asked him that question.

I can tell where these things are going.

I was afraid to hear what he would say.

and I fear what my answer will become.



"I miss you, Lauren."

His soft voice, like before, echoed in my mind. I remember how Matthews always smiled at me back then and how he was so straightforward about his feelings toward me.

After all those years, I can feel the pain inside me, remembering how he left me.

"Let's drop this," I say, as I don't want to hear anything from him again.

I could see disappointment in Matthew's eyes as he looked at me.

"I will get the documents, now," I said to him, but he stopped me when he grabbed my hands before I could reach the documents on his table.

"I told you, I miss you, Lauren," he repeated at me, trying to insist on what he was saying.

"It's all in the past, Matthew," I said, as I could feel how his hands tightened as I tried to take my hand back from him.

"Don't try to avoid me, Lauren, I know you still have these feelings for me too," Matthew said as he pushed me against the wall, putting both arms on it, preventing me from getting away from him.

It was too sudden, and I never saw it coming, as I could feel how cold my hands were when I tried to defend myself from him.

'Is he doing it again? '

I was so frightened; my hand was shaking, and I could feel how heavy my breathing was as I gasped for air to breathe out.

I got traumatized that day when Matthew became so furious when he kissed me, Every touch he made on me was like a knife that hurt me from the inside.

and seeing him now, get me back from that moment again.

"Lauren." I could see how worried Matthew was when he saw me. He held both of my hands, trying to calm me down. but I was maybe so in a daze that I could feel tears flow down my eyes.

im hurting...

I fell on my feet, as I couldn't find my strength at that moment. Matthew is still holding my hand as he tries to calm me down. I keep hearing him calling my name.

"Lauren, look at me."

I heard him say as he wiped my tears with his hands before he caressed my cheeks. He was so gentle as he looked me in the eyes.

"I won't hurt you," he said.

'But why am I hurting right now? ' I ask myself

"I won't leave you," he said.

'But you already left me before," I said in my mind.

I felt too weak to argue with him, I just wanted to leave and escape. I am not ready to face everything again. I was a coward when I looked at him.

I was not the same Lauren who would do everything for him again, I was so lost in my true feelings that the pain when he left me still hurts me all over again.

not again, not now.


"I want to leave, Matthew," I said in all my strength as I tried to stand on my feet, as his eyes pleaded at me while he still held my hands.

"Matthew," I called his name, trying to get my hands from him.

But how can he really make my heart feel its own beat when he pulls me closer to his body, wrapping me around in his arms?

"No, I won't make the same mistake again," Matthew said, as I could feel how warm he was at that moment.

It felt like I was dreaming, it felt so true that I wanted to wake up from everything.

It was like more than ten minutes when I felt Matthew's arms lose a bit as I tried to step back from him. trying to take his hands off me.

He let go.

We didn't say any words, Matthew just stood there as I got the documents on his desk, and I excused myself before I got out of his office.

'Tiing' I could hear the elevator door open as I got in, going back to the office.

but I didn't...

'sob sob' as I see myself lacking the door of the restroom, as I just want to take my feelings away.

Have I really changed?

When I looked at myself in front of the mirror, I saw my pale skin, my dark black hair that is always in a ponytail, and those black eyes from my nose going down on my dry lips.

I beat my lips, as I could see how plain I was as a person. I don't wear jewelry, I didn't put on any makeup.

at all, I didn't care for myself.

I wash my face and stay in the restroom for another few minutes as I try to compose myself when I get back to the office.

"Are you okay?"
"Did he scold you?"
"I thought he was a gentleman, but he was not. You can really tell someone by the looks"

They said to me, When I get back to the office. I was confused, but later on, Camile said Tristan dropped in the office and explained that I was scolded by the management due to some mistake he made.

I didn't know what Tristan saw or heard, but I feel relieved that I don't need to make excuses for what happened.

as it will never happen.



TRISTAN POV 


'sob sob' I heard as I just stood in front of the female restroom.

I was about to visit them in the office when I saw Lauren get off the elevator, crying as she ran through the restroom.

I didn't know what happened, but seeing how Lauren looked when she ran. I could feel how she was trying to hold everything back for herself.

I want to hold her.

Seeing her in that state makes me mad as I get on the elevator and press the 18th floor.

'Tinnng' I walk straight to his office as soon as the elevator door opens, not knocking on his door.

I saw him standing in front of his desk.

I could feel how furious I was when I saw his face when he looked at me.

I hate everything about you, Matthew.

I grab his shoulder before I hit him on the face. As he loses his balance when he falls down on his feet, he holds on to his desk, trying to stand.


'Booggs' but I hit him again.


"I don't like it," I said as I looked at him while he was on the floor.

"When someone takes their hands, on what is mine," I said in his face as he stood and grabbed my shirt for a punch.

I could taste the blood on my lips as I wiped it with my hands.

"Mr.Matthew!" We were stopped when Mr.Henry barged into the office with a worried look on his face when he saw us.


"What's happening here?"

An old man's voice followed him from behind as my father walked in. with those golden sticks on his hands.

He looked at us with those scary eyes. as I know how mad he is right now.

He walked closer to Matthew, looking at his face with those bruises and blood on his lips.

and he looked at me.

'slappp'

"You are a disgrace in this family; I shouldn't agree with Matthew on the idea of taking you here," my father said, as I could feel how numb my cheeks were when he slapped me.

I smiled at myself.

on how pitiful I look at this moment.