February 1977.
❝ i don't feel like talking ❞

Winter was coming to an end, though the air was still cool, sending harsh chills down Imogen's spine every day. Even though the snow had melted and the flowers had begun to bloom, Imogen wasn't interested in getting frostbite any time soon. She had decided to avoid the outdoors as best as she could, talking the longer ways just to stay in the warmth of the castle. The students were constantly reminded that the exams were ticking closer, only weeks away. As Imogen had expected, the Christmas spirit had drained away, the chatter had quieted, and the joy had been left behind. The decorations had been taken down and the corridors and halls were left with an empty feeling. Everything just seemed dull.

Imogen had fallen back into the usual routine she had set up for herself well before the holidays. She had picked up a heavy workload of homework and assignments. Classes were busy, which meant most of her spare time was spent in the library with her friends.

Due to James being a head boy and Remus being a prefect, the marauders' bright spark had started to fizzle out; their reckless behaviour turned to nothing but stupid jokes, and their pranks stayed as ideas. Their cheeky laughs were still loud, just not as frequent. They still spent time goofing off and misbehaving, but it wasn't as often. The business of classes was hitting every single person, including the mischief makers of the school. The semester had only recently begun, though every student was counting the days until summer.

After a long Friday of due assignments and busy classes, Imogen sat in the Gryffindor common room. The common room had always been a home for the students, the walls were decorated with fancy paintings, and comfortable couches were placed around the room for students to rest on. People's random belongings were left behind, scarfs and robes were draped at the back of couches while books were left on desks. On the notice board were reminders of tests, exams and over fifty random posters for different clubs or bands.

In the girl's lap was her workbook. In potions, they had just finished the Amortentia potion. Each individual in the class was expected to write a report, which was due on the Monday after the weekend. Imogen had stayed up late, pushing through the last bit of work, rushing to complete it so her weekend was left for relaxation.

The flames flickered in the fireplace directly in front of her, casting an enchanting orange glow on the common room. Out the window, the half moon shone in the sky. The window was left open, bringing a refreshing air into the room. It was getting late, and Imogen could feel her eyelids getting heavy as if a spell of dizziness had been cast. The girl was bored. She could feel herself falling asleep, so she blinked her eyes open, gripping her quill tightly in her hand.

Imogen only had a small section of the report to finish, though, as always, her mind was wandering. She thought of Regulus and how he may have to marry someone he had no connection to, just like Imogen's older brother—Callum, had to do three years ago. All she could remember was those moments when they were just kids at fancy events, and Regulus would chase his older brother around the backyard—that was almost a decade ago, and the brothers hadn't spoken in over a year. Things had changed majorly, and Imogen didn't like it one bit.

She also worried about her own fate. Her parents had always been horrible, drowning their daughter with their expectations, whether it was threatening to disown her or controlling her every move. Kallista and Vincent pretended to care, though everything they did was for their own benefit. Imogen had always told herself that her parents wouldn't ever control her life like that, but she sat there rethinking everything. Had Regulus told himself that too?

Imogen's parents hadn't spoken to their daughter since the winter break. They had barely even said goodbye at the station. The girl had never expected a flood of letters—they rarely ever sent them. Though every morning she watched as the owls flew through the great hall, she watched as her friends around her received letters and small gifts from their own parents. She watched their faces light up in happiness and how they would spend the rest of the day in joy. Imogen had never had an experience like that when it came to her parents.

Behind Imogen's potion book lay an unopened letter, Imogen had received it at breakfast and hadn't dared to open it. When it came to letters from her parents, they were never nice. Kallista and Vincent only sent letters to scold their daughter for the things she did wrong.

As she sat there, Imogen tried to focus on her report but couldn't help but continue to dart her eyes back to the letter, allowing the focus on her work faded into the background. The letter was a magnet that pulled all of her attention away. She knew what to expect. Imogen glanced at James, who was flicking through his quidditch magazine. On the other side of her, on the larger couch, was Remus who was working on his astronomy homework.

Without a second thought, the girl picked up the letter, holding it in her hand like it was treasure, something she couldn't allow anyone else to take. Imogen stared at it for a few moments. She noticed the cursive writing—her mother's writing—which was perfect and precise, everything about Kallista Seagrave was. Her outfits were always perfectly put together, her hair was always slicked back into a tight bun that Imogen was sure would hurt. With her head always held high, Kallista was a great representation of the Seagrave image, though the exact opposite of the person Imogen wanted to be.

The letter wasn't like the howlers she had received—those were always in her father's writing and enclosed in a bright red envelope. It was a letter from her mother. They were always handwritten, they weren't enchanted to speak out loud or magically open, they were always simple, in a basic, white envelope. With a small amount of hope, Imogen opened the letter, desperate to see what her parents had to say. She scanned the page, reading each and every word.

Imogen,

We trust that you are making good progress in your studies as you begin your final term of 6th year at Hogwarts. As we've discussed before, it's around the time you should be preparing for your future. As a Seagrave, you are expected to find a pureblood and marry them. Your decisions reflect the family's values, and we expect you to maintain the purity of our blood along with our reputation.

We were disappointed to hear in the report from Slughorn that you spent more time in potions messing about with that Sirius Black than doing your required work. You know that doesn't meet our standards, Imogen, we expect better from you. From the moment you read this, we don't want you to be friends with that boy. There are so many better options in your school; Anaya Hassim, Amelia Atkinson, Evan Rosier or Regulus Black. Please, Imogen, rethink who you are associating yourself with. We don't want to hear about you messing around with some blood traitor, or there will be consequences.

As we have told you numerous times over the break, it's important you find a proper match for your future by the end of your 6th school year. You are almost seventeen, so if you are not able to meet these simple expectations, you will not be welcomed home.

This is not a suggestion, Imogen. We want you to be happy. If you don't do as we say, you might end up the same way as your blood traitor friend, Sirius Black. Do not disappoint us.

Kallista and Vincent Seagrave.

Before Imogen could even process or reread the letter, a loud voice called out her name as the person took the seat right beside her. "Imogen!" Marlene Mckinnon interrupted the peaceful silence. "You were too busy studying or whatever that you missed the drama!" she smiled, going on to tell the story. "So basically, me and Mary were walking around the hallways and you know Snape's weird friend—what's her name? Aubrey—it turns out that she has major beef with Anaya Hassim—the girl that Remus is pretty much in love with." Marlene explained.

Imogen looked down at the letter. Marlene was obviously there to distract her, so she put the letter between the pages and closed her workbook, turning to her friend so she could focus on the girl's story.

"Okay so, Mary explained to me that they were partnered up together in potions and would fight over the correct way of doing things every single lesson. After dinner, as I said, Me and Mary decided to go on a walk and they were full on screaming at each other. Unfortunately, they seemed to have figured things out, because by the time we made our way back to the common room they were laughing together," she added. Imogen really couldn't care less about the drama, though she knew that Marlene could tell something was on her mind and was only trying to cheer her up. Imogen appreciated that more than she could explain.

Remus, who sat on the armchair further away, putting the quill he was writing with onto his parchment. The common room was quiet and empty, meaning he was able to hear every word the two girls were saying. "Marlene, that isn't what happened. Maybe you shouldn't share drama if it's completely made up," he defended the Slytherin girls, his voice trailing off as he glanced at Marlene. The girl's blonde hair fell just past her shoulders. Her look was a sharp blade that cut through the air, full of anger as she turned to him. Remus recognised the look immediately and turned away, minding his own business. Marlene's expression fell back into a look of worry as she faced her friend.

"Are you alright?" she questioned, her voice softer. Marlene had noticed Imogen's tense mood from the moment she had received the letter. That's why she had taken the seat next to her friend. She wanted to offer a small distraction from the dark cloud that hung over Imogen's head. Marlene was always full of energy, trying to fix bad moods with positivity and confidence rather than saying anything that would only tighten the knot in her friend's chest.

Imogen gave her friend a small smile. She didn't want Marlene to worry. "I'm just distracted," she replied, playing with the cover of her workbook. She wanted to open it again and read through the letter, analysing every single word her mother had written. Before she could do anything, Marlene grabbed the book from her hand, pulling out the letter.

Imogen reached to snatch it back, without success. Luckily, she trusted Marlene enough. She knew the girl wouldn't read the letter unless she was specifically told she could. "You've been staring at this for far too long, are you sure you're okay?" she asked again, holding out the letter so it was just out of reach. Imogen looked around the room again. Remus had continued with his homework, and James was too busy reading his magazine to notice anything around him. On the opposite side of the room, her ex girlfriend, Sage was at one of the desks, her head resting on her workbooks, her eyes were closed, and it was clear that her homework had drained the last of her energy away.

Imogen slouched back down, her mind like an active volcano. The more she thought, the more the pressure began to build. She had time to find a pureblood. She had until the end of the school year, or she wouldn't have a place to call home. Imogen wasn't just distracted, she was stressed, there was a lot of pressure weighing on her shoulders.

"Imogen," Marlene spoke, though the girl's attention remained unfocused, and she didn't look up. "I know something's up. Come on, what's wrong?" she asked again, her tone more serious than it was before, alerting Imogen.

"They want me to find someone," Imogen spoke up. Her voice was quiet, just louder than a whisper. She didn't want to say it out loud—she didn't want it to happen. She wanted to be a normal teenager. She wanted the simplicity of a normal life. She wanted so many things, but they were all out of reach. "By the end of sixth year, they want me to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. They have to be pureblood, or I won't be welcomed home. I'm just imagining them arranging me in like a bloody marriage or something—that's what they did to my brother," she explained in a mumble, just loud enough that only the friend beside her was able to hear.

Marlene furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Her own family was always full of support and love. Marlene Mckinnon had wanted to be a professional quidditch player since her first year at Hogwarts, her parents had helped her with extra lessons outside of school. They always helped her follow her dreams, no matter what those dreams were. If that was Kallista and Vincent Seagrave, they would've just laughed in her face.

Marlene's parents also knew about her very big crush on Joe Henderson, while if Imogen's parents knew about her past relationship with Sage, the girl would be done for. The main thing was that Sage was a half-blood and that goes against the image of the Seagrave family. The second thing was the fact that Sage was a girl. Kallista and Vincent were also very much against Imogen dating anyone of the same gender.

"That's ridiculous" is all Marlene let out. "They can't just disown you because you want to have your own future," she basically burst out, her voice far louder than she intended. Imogen looked around again to see that Sage was still asleep. James was still busy with his magazine, but Remus was staring at the two girls in confusion.

"Marls, I love you, but if they want to disown me, then they absolutely would. My brother was arranged into a marriage and he refused, they were about to disown him, though he ended up agreeing to do it," she explained. Imogen was in her third year at the time, the thought of it made her feel sick

"And how did that work out?" Marlene inquired.

Imogen sighed, "Well, he married her and is in love with her. He just got lucky and her family is pretty lovely, but that doesn't mean it will be the same for me, and I don't even know if I'll be arranged," she explained

Marlene returned the book and letter, placing it gently on her friend's lap. "Okay. It's your choice what you do Imogen, just get some sleep because it is late and we both know that you need to rest." She smiled, prompting Imogen to stand up.

Although reluctant, the two girls made their way to the dorm room, and with that, Imogen got ready for bed. She layed in bed for hours, patiently waiting to be met with the comfort of sleep.

          The next day was a weekend. Imogen had agreed to meet Marlene in the library, a place with an ocean of books. Although it was a busy spot, always overflowed with students, it was always a great place to rest and relax after a long week.

          The afternoon's air was cold, sending chills down Imogen's spine. Unlike the common room, the library didn't offer the comforting presence of a warm fire. The two girls sat in silence. Imogen didn't want to think of her family, or her future, or anything at all—but that was all she could think about. She tried to turn her focus onto the report she hadn't finished the previous night.

          As much as she tried to avoid it, Imogen always thought about the stuff she tried to push aside. She didn't want her life to be about her blood status, she didn't want to have to worry about representing the Seagrave image, and she definitely didn't want to have to find someone to spend the rest of her life with while she was still in school. Imogen always worried, though her head ached and her thoughts were a tangled mess. She knew better than defying her parents—she knew it would never end well.

          Imogen buried her face in her hands as Mary always did when there was a minor inconvenience. "I don't know what to do," she said calmly, her voice cracking. Both girls knew the tears were bound to come—they always did after Imogen received a letter from her parents. "I just want my own life, but my bloody parents want to control everything," she mumbled, her voice barely audible over the chatter of the library, though Marlene seemed to be able to hear perfectly fine, placing a comforting hand on Imogen's shoulder.

          "It's okay, lovely, I'm sure you can sort it out. It's your future, and in the end, it's your choice on what happens," Marlene assured her just like she had done the previous night. She pushed Imogen's blonde hair aside, her eyes flickered to the tears that slid down the girl's face. She watched as the tears reflected in the light of the window they sat by. Seeing Imogen cry felt like a punch to Marlene's stomach. It pained her to see her friend upset, especially when there was nothing she could do.

          The Seagrave girl meant back and practically melted into Marlene's comforting arms. The blonde wrapped them around her, offering a silent but warm comfort. Imogen's mind continued to race despite the comfort and safety of her friend. As much as she didn't seem like it, Marlene has always been a wonderful friend, always offering her friends support and love whenever they needed it.

          Imogen's mind continued to swirl. A proper match? Better friends? The girl didn't know what to think. Was this her parents leading up to an arranged marriage? Kallista and Vincent knew that Imogen was hopeless when it came to relationships. There was no way she would be able to find a 'proper match' before the summer. Was she going to end up like Regulus? Trapped with someone she doesn't love for the rest of her life? With a small sigh, Imogen closed her eyes. She was ready to drift off to sleep, though the loud chatter of the students in the library prevented that. Most libraries were known for their silent environments, but at Hogwarts, it was quite the opposite.

          The girl bit her lip as she struggled to hold back more tears that threatened to break free. She didn't like crying at school, especially over something as foolish as her parents. Still, she couldn't hold back the tears. They just kept coming. They were a tidal wave, something she couldn't stop no matter what she did.

          "I–I'm just going to figure this out later. It's my life I can just figure the rest another time." She tried to pull herself together, her voice full of uncertainty. Imogen had no clue what she was going to do. Going against her parents could ruin the whole life she had built for herself. At the same time, having to find someone who fits their expectations but someone she didn't love could also ruin her future. For now, she decided that was a problem for future Imogen. She was still a teenager, and she didn't want to worry about something as big as that.

          Marlene furrowed her eyebrows, looking at the girl in worry. Despite being so close, the two had very different ways of thinking. No matter what it was—if it was school work or things concerning her future—Imogen tended to always push things aside, leaving them for her to deal with another time. Usually, that didn't work well for the girl. She would end up overly stressed, and things would never turn out the way she wanted. As for Marlene, she was like a ship that steered straight into the storm, and she would always face any problems or decisions with confidence and as soon as possible—no matter the consequences.

          "Girl, I love you, but we both know it never works when you push your issues aside. It won't make things go away, it will only make things harder," Marlene explained in a soft voice, watching as the library became more crowded. "You have to figure this out now, Ginny. You can't let your parents get their way. They can't force you to do something you don't want to do. Trust me, pushing it away will only make things worse. I think maybe you should write back to your parents, explain how that's not what you want." She finished.

           In Marlene's life, she could actually speak and sort things out with her parents, while Imogen couldn't. The girl stayed silent, focusing on the nickname her friend had called her—Ginny. The nickname wasn't a common one when it came to the name Imogen, though it always filled her with warmth. The nickname didn't have a proper origin, but everyone had noticed that Sirius always called the girl Immy and they wanted to leave that as a special name between the two, so Lily had thought of Ginny earlier in fifth, and it had stuck. Sometimes, it didn't make sense, though Imogen loved it anyway.

          For the rest of the afternoon, the two friends stayed how they were. Imogen had calmed down, though her mind remained a tangled mess of thoughts and she remained in Marlene's arms.

          Marlene had once again tried to distract the girl by explaining the real drama between Aubrey and Anaya. It turned out they were bickering in class, but that was it. The argument between them was something that happened the previous year. Imogen wasn't too focused, but it was fun to hear about the time when two girls were partners in Defence Against the Dark Arts and the fight they had got into, even though it was a year ago. Imogen had always noticed how the two girls bickered, though they seemed to be good friends either way.

          Eventually, Imogen and Marlene made their way up to the dorm before dinner. Marlene's words replayed in Imogen's mind. Even with her friend's helpful advice, she decided to push it to the back of her mind. Imogen had more important things to think about, and her parents' stupid expectations weren't important.

( maeve yaps ! )

I hate my writing this chapter 😭😭. anyways! thank you for reading and thank you so much for 5k reads—i love you all so much and I appreciate all the support! I'm so sorry updates have been slow, school goes back later this week so unfortunately updates are only going to get worse. I'll try my best to still write—but no promises.

edited by the amazing Riri <333

gif by anaya / howlingforregulus !