Great Ancestor:[To the small hanging dragon statue]Mushu, awaken.

The statue shakes and smokes.

Mushu:I live! So, tell me, what mortal needs my protection, Great Ancestor. You just say the word, and I'm there.

Great Ancestor:Mushu ...

Mushu:And lemme say something, anyone who's foolish enough to threaten OUR family, vengeance will be MINE! Grr ... arrgh ...

Great Ancestor:Mushu! These are the family guardians. They

Mushu:Protect the family.

Great Ancestor:And you, O Demoted One

Mushu:I ring the gong.

Great Ancestor:That's right. Now, wake up the Ancestors .

Mushu:One family reunion coming right up. Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, c'mon, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing.

Ancestor #1:I knew it, I knew it. That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start.

Ancestor #2:Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family!

Ancestor #3:She's just trying to help her father!

Ancestor #4:But if she's discovered, Fa Zu will be forever shamed. Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!

Ancestor #5:Not to mention they'll lose the farm!

Ancestor #1:My children never caused such trouble; they all became acupuncturists!

Ancestor #2:Well, we can't all be acupuncturists!

Ancestor #6:No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!

The Ancestors start to argue

Ancestor #7:Let a guardian bring her back!

Ancestor #2:Yes! Awaken the most cunning!

Ancestor #4:No! The swiftest!

Ancestor #8:No, send the wisest!

Great Ancestor:SILENCE! We will send the most powerful of all.

Mushu:[laughs] Okay, okay, I get the Jif. I'll go.

Laughter

Mushu:Well, y'all don't think I can do it! Watch this here! [Blows a tiny flame] Ah-hah! Jump back, I'm pretty hot. But I don't have to singe nobody to prove no point.

Great Ancestor:You had your chance to protect the Fa Family.

Ancestor #6:Your misguidance led Fa Thang to disaster!

Fa Thang:Yeah, thanks a lot.

Mushu:And your point is?

Great Ancestor:The point is, we will be sending a REAL dragon to retrieve Mulan.

Mulan:What? What? I'm a real dragon!

Great Ancestor:You're not even worthy of this thought! Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon!

Mushu:So you'll get back to me on the job thing. [He is hit in the face with his gong.]

Mushu:Just one chance. Is that too much to ask? I mean, it's not like it'll kill you. [To the dragon statue] Yo, Rocky, wake up! You gotta go fetch Mulan! C'mon, boy! Go get her! Go on! C'mon! [He climbs up on the statue, dragging the gong.] Grr ... arrgh. Grr. Hello? Helloooo? HELLO! [He hits the ear of the dragon with the gong, and it falls off. Suddenly, the entire statue falls apart.] Uh-oh ...

Mushu:Uh ... Stoney? Stoney ... Oh, man, they're gonna kill me!

Great Ancestor:Great Stone Dragon! Have you awakened?

Mushu:[Holding up the head of the Great Stone Dragon] Uh, yes, I just woke up! Um, I am the Great Stone Dragon! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did- did I mention that I am the Great Stone Dragon?

Great Ancestor:Go! The fate of the Fa family rests in your claws.

Mushu:Don't even worry about it. I will not lose face. [He loses his balance and tumbles down the hill, the dragon head landing on top of him.] Ow, ah, my elbow. Oh, oh, I know I twisted something. [He lifts the head off.] That's just great, now what? I'm doomed, and all because Ms. Man decided to take a little drag show on the road.Crickee:Chirp.Mushu:Go GET her! What's the matter with you? After this Great Stone Humptey Dumptey mess, I'd have to bring her back with a medal to get back in the Temple! Waitaminute! That's it! I make Mulan a war hero, and they'll be begging me to come back to work! That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man.

Crickee:Chirp.

Mushu:[running] And what makes you think you're coming?

Crickee:Chirp.

Mushu:You're LUCKY? Do I look like a sucker to you?

Crickee:Chirp.

Mushu:What do you mean, a loser? What if I pop one of you antennae of and throw it across the yard, then who's the loser, or me?

Crickee:Chirp.

Mushu chases him out of the yard and down the road.

The Hun army comes to a stop by a marsh. Two Chinese soldiers are dragged out of a tree and thrown before Shan Yu.

Hun:Imperial Scouts.

Soldier #1:Shan Yu!

Shan Yu:Nice work, gentlemen. You've found the Hun army.

Laughter

Soldier #2:The Emperor will stop you.

Shan Yu:Stop me! He invited me. By building his wall, he challenged my strength. Well, I'm here to play his game. Go! Tell your Emperor to send his strongest armies. I'm ready.

The two soldiers scurry off, one after the other.

Shan Yu:How many men does it take to deliver a message?

Hun Archer:One.