"I wanted to ask you something," I raise my head up to look at him, and he lets me speak. "Have you stopped smoking?"

"Yeah, kinda. I just smoke one or two cigarettes every two weeks," he nods and without being aware, puts a smile on my face. "I'm proud of you. It really makes me happy."

He does not react to it as if he was hiding something, but I can tell, from the smell of his house, and his clothes lately, he is honest. "What about alcohol?" I nervously curl my toes against the cushion, fearing this could cause discomfort or bother. "Hm, I drink a lot less than before, so it's good," his voice does not reflect any type of sincerity, but instead, what sounds more like anxiety.

Maybe the extreme workout is a way to cope with the nicotine and alcohol cravings, but whether this is the case or not, tiring himself out and getting skinnier is not any healthier.

"That's great, I'm proud. I know that one day, you won't need or want any of those things anymore," I encourage him, show how much this affects me as well so that he does not feel alone in this battle. "I hope so."

I avoid the pills topic, knowing he still needs them to sleep but pretends not to. Whenever I come here, the box is always on his nightstand, and I can only see it get empty. I truly hope for him to still be mentally and physically alright, but I doubt it. Alcohol, cigarettes, and opioids cause nothing but harm to your body in every way, so I wish he could stop and not hurt himself anymore. I would never want to live without him around. Far from me or close to me, as long as he is alive, that is all that matters.

"By the way, aren't you supposed to get your braces soon?" he does not leave any silence between us and drifts away from the topic he must not have enjoyed. "Yeah, I can't wait, but I'm scared about the pain."

"Well, I got them when I was younger, and it did hurt like hell, but it only lasts around three days, so don't worry about it," he reassures me with his experience, but I cannot help imagining the worse. "Three days is a lot though."

"When will he put them on?" he asks for a date, so I raise my eyes and try to remember. "On the fifteenth of May, so soon."

"I'll take three days off then. You come here, and I'll take care of you until you don't feel no pain anymore, is that okay?" he smiles at me and triples the excitement, and I nod. "More than okay. I can't wait to have them on now."

"Of course," he shows delight and genuine emotions. I grin but inch closer to him, and I wrap my arms around him. "Are you gonna lose if I distract you?"

"Nothing can distract me when I play this game," he asserts, having no idea how determined I could be to show him otherwise. "Are you sure?" I stare at his pretty features from very close, and he stands by his statement. "Yes, more sure than ever, sweetheart."

I do not move away but fix my eyes on his lips, their fullness making me envy him. "You're gonna get annoyed if I do it," I press a kiss on his cheek. "If you do what?"

I repeat the same action but on his jawline. "If I kiss you and cling onto you," I slowly try to take him away from his game, and shakes his head. "I won't get annoyed with that."

"But what if you lose because of that?" I pass my head under his arm and push forth, forcing him to lift his arms up and let me sit on his lap without letting go of the controller. "I don't lose," he smiles and never shows any hint of lack of confidence.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pamper his face with kisses. Since he is so sure, I do not leave him alone but hold the side of his neck to rub my thumb over his skin, which is covered in ink on some parts, and hope for it to be sensitive, then I kiss my way down to it.

"Am I not annoying you yet?" I run my fingers through his hair and comb it back, giving him a messy look that I always find so attractive. "No. You're totally failing," his facial expression seems to expose some enjoyment.

I turn my body to face him and sit astride his lap, and without ever putting my face in front of his to obstruct his view, I attempt to win. I leave kisses on his cheek, jawline, and ear, combing his hair with my fingers, and I press my lips against his neck again.

"Not there," he moves his head to the side, asking me not to touch this spot. "Why? Is it gonna be an easy win if I kiss it?"

He smiles but does not respond right away, taking a few seconds to say something. "Yes. You know how sensitive this spot is."

I do not deny it, but turn around. Feeling like giving up, I position myself in the most comfortable way and touch his arms. "Go get me an ice cream instead of wriggling around so much," he lowers his voice, and the game, which he won, comes to an end. "Which one?"

"A magnum. The ones you love," he specifies and makes it easy to know which one to pick. "Okay," I leave his lap, carefully making sure not to be in the way, and I walk up to the kitchen side. I open the freezer and get what he asked for, remove the wrapping, and throw it out.

"You can take one if you want," he tells me as I am coming back to him, and since I know he does not like the chocolate, I take a bite into it. "No," I sit down next to him, but he lifts his arms up. "Come."

I go back on his lap and sit sideways, and while he is finishing his new game, I watch him and eat the chocolate around the ice cream so that he only has the cream part left.

"Are you winning?" I melt the chocolate in my mouth, and he nods. "Yeah."

"Good. You're always the best boy," I praise and look up at him, and he smiles. "I am," he leans back and takes me with him, getting more cozy. "Look at this bitch waiting in a corner," he gets upset at one of the players, but I take offense at this. "Hey, I hide in corners too sometimes."

"Yeah, but...it's okay if it's you," he makes me an exception, and I smile but bring the ice cream to his mouth. He bends his head to eat some of it, and his game ends. "There," he lifts his arms up and stretches his body, and after releasing all the tension, he lets out a moan and drops his controller next to us.

"I ate all the chocolate for you," I hand him his dessert, and he grabs it. "Aw, thank you," he slides it between his plump lips but bites into it. "Why don't you buy the pistachio ones you prefer?" I cannot take my eyes off of him, his attractive features keeping me focused. "I know you like these the most, and since I'm not a fan of ice cream but just wanna eat some from time to time, I get those so that we can both share."

"Oh, that's sweet. Who's gonna eat the chocolate off your ice cream if I'm not here anyway?" I tease him about it, and he looks into my eyes. "You're right, no one would do it other than my mommy," he brushes the back of his fingers over my cheek, and I smile and play along this time. "Hm. I'd do anything for my little boy."

He giggles in one of the cutest manners and takes another mouthful of ice cream, trapping it between his lips that seem to get swollen because of the cold. "Where do you want to sleep tonight?"

"The sofa if you don't want us to share your bed," I tell him, but he brings the magnum down to my mouth, so I lick it but only eat a small amount. "I'll see. It will depend on your behavior until then."

"What do you mean 'my behavior'?" I raise my eyebrows. "I'm always kind and respectful to you."

"So you forgot about you trying to distract me while I was playing then?" he puts forward what I genuinely already erased from my memory. "Well...it was not with ill intentions. I was just hugging and kissing you, so is that something bad?"

He smiles, surely musing on the answer. "Give me a sincere kiss to prove it to me," he holds his dessert on my thighs, his tattooed arm resting on them. I slightly straighten my back and put my arms around his neck to give him a long kiss on the cheek. "Here."

"Hm, I accept it," he makes eye contact and shares his ice cream with me again.

•••

00:30 am.

After brushing my teeth, I walk out of the bathroom and join Jungkook, who is already on the bed. We both look at one another as I caught him take a pill.

I do not say anything, knowing the reason why he does it, and I get on his giant bed. "It's just some Tylenol for my headache, nothing else," he understands without even hearing me talk about it. "No need to explain, it's okay," I slide under the blanket, and he takes his hoodie off, getting topless. He lies down but only covers half of his body. "If you're cold at some point, tell me. I'll raise the temperature."

"I'm fine. It's perfect right now," I turn on my favorite side, the one on which I always feel much more  comfortable, and he peeks at me. "Did you take the pillow I left for you?"

"This one?" I touch what I am resting my head on. "No, that one," he smiles but leans over me, his thin chain dangling near my face. He grabs what I did not even notice behind me, and he pulls the blanket down to place it against my stomach. "Here. I know you always need it."

This is so sweet. He always remembers everything I tell him, even the tiniest and least signicant ones.

"Thank you," I press the soft pillow against me and smile at him, and his lips form the same crescent shape. "Sleep tight," he inches closer and touches the side of my face to plant a warm kiss on my forehead. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," I tell the same words but stay where I am once he moves back on his side of the bed, no matter how much I would love to cuddle up against him. "Is your headache really bad though?"

"It's okay for now," he tucks an arm under his head and checks his phone. "I hope it will be gone when you're awake."

"Me too," he puts his phone back on his nightstand and turns the lights off, so I close my eyes and keep quiet.

— Next day —

Sunday, May 2nd, 2021.

8 am.

My body coming back to consciousness after a restful sleep, I open my eyes but see and feel something I am not used to having against me in the morning.

Jungkook is holding me, his head buried in my chest, with the blanket hiding most of it. I am surprised he has not kept any distance between us last night, he let us sleep close to one another, and this feels so much better, so much warmer.

I do not wake him up or move away, I run my fingers through his brown hair, softly, and I revel in this unusual but soothing moment. He seems to feel good, to be peaceful, and this is very reassuring to me.

I just want him to be happy, healthy, and fine, but I know he is not. I know he must feel better in his dreams than in real life, and it pains me whenever I think about it.

Something has been on my mind for quite some time now though, and I cannot stop worrying and thinking about it. Would he be okay with me making a move? Is he indeed waiting for me to be eighteen? He cannot see me as a friend and nothing else, not with the way he looks at me, touches me, or allows me to be so obvious about my feelings. Unless he is a very good player, but he cannot be that type of person, not with the things he does for me.

My thoughts get blurred once he moves against me and deeply breathes in. He rubs his head over my chest to hide it even more, and he tightens his hold around me.

A crowd of crazy butterflies just invaded my stomach.

30 minutes later...

For the second time today, I wake up. My eyelids feeling heavy, I lift my hands up to my face and rub them. Jungkook still sleeping with his face on my chest and his arm around me, even though I am now lying on my back.

Feeling like I should stay awake and not disturb my sleep schedule, I grab my phone and check my notifications, but notice that my favorite streamer is already live, so I go on his livestream to watch him, with no sound.

Jungkook seems to already be awake now though.

He breathes in and moans, moving while waking up. I keep my eyes on him, hoping for him to go back to sleep, but he opens his eyes and realizes.

He glances up at me with his sleepy face, squinting his eyes, he mutters a husky 'Fuck' before dropping his body on his side of the bed. "I'm sorry," he rubs his hands over his face. "Why?"

"I'm clingy and handsy as fuck. I should have slept on the sofa," he takes a look at the time, sounding like he has gotten a sore throat. "I don't mind it," I do not agree with him, letting him know how this makes me feel. "I know you don't," he smiles and lies down on his side to turn his back to me. "How do you know?"

"You'd have moved," he mumbles under the blanket that he uses to cover his body up to the half of his face. "And how do you know I didn't move?" I never look away from him, his fluffy hair asking for my fingers to run through it. He does not answer me but stays quiet, so I try again. "Uh? You can't tell if you're asleep."

"Keep quiet and let me sleep," he does not bother to answer my question, so I put my phone away and get closer. "You're mean," I press my body against him and give a squeeze to his waist after making sure this is not the bruised side. "I know."

"That makes you twice more mean then," I hold his waist and plant a kiss on his spine, but he pushes his hand under mine to protect his skin as his back slightly arched. "Don't do that."

I take my hand off, getting pushed away again. I go back on my side of the bed but sit up. Feeling hungry enough to finally wake up, I leave the bed and head towards the bathroom.

•••

10:20 am.

Jungkook joining me after sleeping until now, I watch him walk down the stairs in a warm hoodie, his head hidden in the hood. I sip some more coffee through the straw, and he makes eye contact with me while passing by. "Your meal is in the fridge."

He does not say anything but heads to the fridge to take the food I left for him, and he comes back and sits down next to me. I do not speak to him but focus on my drink, and the video I am watching.

"Do you wanna go out today?" he asks, not ignoring me. "Where?"

"There's a new geek store nearby that opened this week, and it's not closed today, do you want to check it out?" he suggest to do something he usually does not want to do, for some reason. "Yeah."

"Yeah," he mimics me, so I set my eyes on him to glare, but he stares and smiles. "What?"

"I don't sound like that," I look at the screen, and he chuckles near my ear. "You're mad just because I didn't let you kiss my back?"

"I'm not," I deny it since this is not just about that. "Sure."

•••

2:20 pm.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

"Look here, isn't it the anime guy you like?" I hold a keyring to show it to her, and she comes closer to check the face. "No. He kinda looks like him, but he's not popular enough for his merch to be here," she explains, so I put it back where it was and follow her around.

We pass by some candies, and she stops right in front of some snacks with famous anime faces on them, but I only focus on one lollipop. I grab it and hold it within her field of view. "Do you wanna suck on Anpanman's head?"

She peeks down at it and laughs, but throws my arm away, so I put it down. "What? It's not like I showed you a dick one."

"Can you not say that in public?" she lowers her voice, raising her head up to look into my eyes. I smile and lean in to speak in her ear instead so that no one can hear me. "You think no one knows what a dick is?" I look into her eyes.

"That's not a reason to casually talk about it," she picks a snack and walks away, avoiding me and not sticking to me like glue like she would usually do.

She is definitely upset or hurt since this morning, but I cannot do anything else. I have to push her away.

"Give me the stuff you're holding," I stand next to her and stretch one hand out, and she looks up at me. "Why?"

"So that you can look at more stuff," I do not tell her the real reason, but she still gives me the two plush toys, the large cup, and snack. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," I hold everything in one arm and put the snack in the front pocket of my hoodie, and I let her walk away to go to the checkout. I place everything down on the counter and get my credit card out. Once the cashier scans the items and tells me the price, I pay and wait for him to put everything in a bag.

"Here you are, Sir. Have a good day," he hands it to me, smiling and being nicer than most cashiers I have fell upon until now. I thank him and grab the bag to go back to y/n.

I look around first, wondering where she went but because of her height, I struggle to see her head, so I walk and check the different aisles.

As soon as I catch sight of her, I make my way up to her. "Where were you? Look—" she peeks down at the bag for the second time. "Did you just pay for everything?"

"Yeah, and I don't wanna hear you complain," I slide my empty hand in my the pocket of my pants, and she sighs but shows me something. "What do you think?"